Older vs. younger parents
My younger sister had the first of three children when she was 23!
I was in my early 30s when I had Jake. And since my husband and I want more children, I could be well into my late 30s and early 40s when I am lucky enough to conceive again. Which means I'll be in my 50s by the time high school graduation rolls around.
In contrast, my sister will only be 40 when her oldest son goes off to college and only a few years older than that when the rest of her children leave the nest.
E. and I were married for almost five years before we felt ready to have kids for a myriad of reasons: financial stability, lifestyle, career, etc. In general, women are waiting longer to have children as demographic trends have shown in the last decade.
Occasionally, I have wondered why we waited to have children especially given the (mostly) joys of parenthood.
Would I be a different kind of parent if I had kids when I was in my mid- to late-20s? What do you think?
Comments
I was not emotionally or financially ready to have a child at 23. I had my two when I was between 30-35 yrs old. In terms of seeing my kids as adults, grandchildren, paying for my kids' college in my 50's, I worry that I had them late. But it is what it is.
Posted by: MadCow | April 12, 2011 11:33 AM
I didn't get married until I was 34. I just hadn't found the right man. My grandmother was worried about seeing her grandchildren when she had her last child at 38. She not only saw all her grandchildren, but she saw great grands. She lived to be 91.
Posted by: CeeCee | April 12, 2011 12:04 PM
Had my boys at 30 and 33-wasn't ready financially before then, but who is? Now we have college and retirement worries at the same time. Another problem with waiting-early menopause can happen...I was 39. Just never know.
Posted by: marylandmom2 | April 12, 2011 9:44 PM
I had my first at 33, and I will be 36 when my second is born this summer. We had to wait because of financial reasons. I was wild in my 20s and would have had a much harder time with the lifestyle change that comes with babies. By the time we had our first, we had been married 5 years and were so settled that we were used to staying home! So I think it all worked out, even though I will be an older mom.
Posted by: Betsy | April 13, 2011 10:56 AM
I had my son at 31 and we're still hoping to have at least one more child. I can say with certainty that not only would I have been a different parent if I had children in my 20's, I'd be a different person altogether. My husband and I did the things you can't necessarily do with kids -we took whirlwind trips to Europe, went sky-diving and bungee jumping, and had long leisurely dinners every weekend. Not only did having those experiences with my husband help to build a strong relationship between us, but it has allowed me to concentrate 100% on parenting with no regrets.
Posted by: Emily B. | April 13, 2011 1:27 PM
I was labelled an "elderly primipara" or some such term when our first son was born when I was 31. I was 38 when our second son arrived. My own funniest moment came when I attended a thank you luncheon for parent volunteers near the end of my second son's upper school experience. A mom who had been there our first time around with son number one was being recognized for her service to the school. We were chatting when she suddenly gasped and said "Do you still have a son in this school?"
Posted by: Dahlink | April 14, 2011 6:34 AM
I was married at 23, had my first baby at 26 and the second at 28. I have no regrets.
Posted by: Kayris | April 14, 2011 2:05 PM