Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

We went for Edwin’s checkup the other day (which is a whole other story—the scale is not made of burning hot coals, can you please just stand on it? Jeez.) The doctor was asking questions about Edwin’s development and habits, and she asked if he has lots of temper tantrums. I had to stop and think for a minute. He certainly has many, many episodes of what I suppose are “temper tantrums” daily. But I wouldn’t describe them that way. I would describe them more as emotional breakdowns.

The past few months he has become very weepy. More often than not, when he doesn’t get his way he collapses into a pathetic heap of tears. He’ll often run into my arms and say, “Mommy, I’m sad! Please wipe my tears?” He’s pretty emotionally unstable. I never know when he will turn on the waterworks. Take this morning for example. Upon waking, he asked where Daddy was and I told him he was at work: tears. Then our dog licked his foot: tears. I told him he couldn’t wear his pajamas all day: tears. I told him we were out of pancakes so he’d have to have a waffle: tears. He put his shoes on the wrong feet and discovered they were uncomfortable that way: tears. Oh, and in the car I didn’t turn up the music loud enough: tears (at this point, mine AND his).

So now I find myself typing “my toddler cries over everything” into Google. My very scientific research shows that it is normal at this age. But, I wonder if I’m giving him too much attention when he cries. I am a sucker for that kid, and when he gets sad and runs into my arms of course I kiss him and hug him and comfort him. Even if it’s over something stupid, like our cat sitting on top of his new Highlights magazine (seriously, this was a recent meltdown trigger). Which is why he probably does this so much. I’m going to try a new approach. I’ll tell him that’s it’s OK to cry, and that I understand that he feels sad. But sometimes dogs lick you and shoes are uncomfortable and you have to get dressed and you have to eat a waffle when you really want a pancake. It’s a tough world out there, even for a toddler.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Putting aside past issues I've had with clothier Abercrombie & Fitch, it's hard to believe that the retailer is marketing a push-up bikini top for young girls.

Abc News reports parents are upset about the product that was originally called "push up triangle." In response to public outcry, Abc News says Abercrombie renamed the swim top to "striped triangle" on its online stores. Padding remains, the news organization notes.

Abercrombie is known as pushing the envelope and creating controversial ads. Abc News notes:

It's hardly the first time the racy company has strayed into controversial territory. A few years ago, Abercrombie offered thongs for the 10-year-old set with the words "wink, wink" stitched on the front. The company's advertisements have also raised concerns over the years for being too revealing.

And Abercrombie isn't alone. Earlier this year, Wal-Mart was criticized for its plans to introduce a line of make-up products directed at girls aged 8 to 12.

Would you buy a padded swim top for your pre-teen girl? What do you think of retailers going after the tweens market with more grown-up and potentially sexier ads and products?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

Liz Atwood wonders what bullying is these days with the heightened awareness of the issue in this week's Tween Tuesday:

We’ve all heard the horrific stories about children committing suicide after being subjected to merciless bullying. Schools, politicians and child advocates have been working recently to raise awareness of the issue, coming up with educational programs and laws to protect children from harassment by their peers. Even President Obama weighed in at a conference earlier this month describing his own experiences of being bullied as a kid. But I’m not sure all this new attention is helping us understand what bullying really is.

Last week, my 9-year-old came home from school with a note saying he had been kicked by a girl. When he told me what happened, his first words were “I was bullied.” I should explain that my son is big for his age and not the kind of child one would think of as a victim. In fact, he had to serve after-school detention several months ago when he and some of his pals dared another boy to lick a toilet.

So all this brings up the question, when is bad behavior really bullying? I’m not condoning either the toilet seat incident or the kicking, but I don’t think either was what I consider bullying. But my son’s first reaction when the girl kicked him was to tell her he was going to report her for bullying. I think we need a better understanding of what bullying is and make sure our children get the message.

Do you sense the same confusion in your schools?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

Here are plenty of conversation starters to start off your week.

The Wall Street Journal reflects on where things stand with the so-called mommy track and how that once-derided label has proven true for many women.

I'm going to pay more attention to food label after reading this Washington Post article on food dyes and the potential connections to hyperactivity in children.

Now, federal regulators are reexamining artificial ingredients they have long deemed to be safe, prompted by scientific studies suggesting that color additives might be linked to hyperactivity in children and other health effects. On Wednesday, an advisory panel to the Food and Drug Administration will begin a two-day meeting to discuss the science behind artificial dyes and whether the government ought to restrict their use.

For something a little more light-hearted, check out my colleague Jill Rosen's story on the Girl Scouts taking selling these ubiquitous cookies a technological notch:

Facebook? Twitter? YouTube? Cookie-hawking Scouts have swarmed them all. They're taking to blogs and blitzing folks with emailed overtures from a custom program called Cookie Club. They're also debuting an iPhone app called the Cookie Finder that points customers hungry for Samoas and Tagalongs in the direction of the nearest sale.

Enjoy and happy Monday!

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Monday reads
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday: 

Edwin has never been a great napper. He has a strong aversion to napping, and he always has. He doesn't know how lucky he is: I often wish I had someone going to great lengths to ensure that I take a nap in the middle of the day. Youth, wasted on the young.

Edwin takes about a 90-minute or 2 hour nap most days. But lately, it's been taking longer and longer to get him settled down (if he settles down at all). He often doesn't fall asleep until 2:00, and then I have to wake him up so he doesn't sleep too late. This past weekend he didn't nap at all. He stayed in his room, but got into all kinds of shenanigans instead of going to sleep. (Note to self: move baby powder and lotion to high, high shelf.)

He is two and a half. I think that he still needs a nap. On days when he does not nap, he often falls asleep in the car if we go out later. He is also VERY cranky and emotional when he doesn't nap. But he seems to be fighting it more and more. My mother-in-law hints around that he's too old to still be napping, so I'm questioning... is he?

At what age did your kids give up the nap?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

In my former life at this paper, I covered education issues in Howard County. The county had just completed implementing full-day kindergarten at all its elementary schools, and I had the pleasure of observing some of these classes.

I was amazed at what these 5- to 6-year-old kids were learning in school. Now, a new study shows that 81 percent of Maryland's kindergartners have the academic and social skills they will need to succeed in school.

Check out my colleague Liz Bowie's article on the state's Ready to Learn report.

The state's Ready to Learn report shows a 32 percentage-point jump in the past decade in the number of children ready when they enter kindergarten.

Each fall, kindergarten teachers fill out an assessment of how well their students are doing by the end of the first quarter in academic, physical and social development. The teachers look not only at whether a child knows the alphabet and numbers, but how well they get along with other children and whether their physical development makes them ready to learn.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 3:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: School's In
        

Liz Atwood talks about whether boys or girls are harder to raise in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I always said it’s a good thing God gave me boys. I don’t have to worry about combing their hair or buying the latest fashions. But boys present their own challenges. Last weekend I was the only female tagging along on a Boy Scout outing to the Blue Ridge Mountains. I had no trouble hiking the trails and scrambling over boulders. I was even able to over look the fart jokes. But after a 10-mile hike and a two-hour drive back to Baltimore, I really was looking forward to resting the next day. My 9-year-old had other plans, however. While I was trying to take a nap, he barged into the bedroom with a basketball, insisting that I join him in a game. At first I refused, then feeling guilty, I agreed.

One thing about boys is they seem to go non-stop--unless they are fixated on a video game. And in my house, it always seems the wrestling and roughhousing start just as I’m trying to get them settled down for bed. I’m sure the parents of girls struggle with their own issues. Girls can be more emotional and have lower self-esteem. But when Parenting.com looked into whether it is harder to raise boys or girls, the website concluded that, in many ways, boys are harder.

I’m not sure whether raising boys is more difficult, but I believe they are more physically demanding. I try to exercise regularly, not only for my health, but to keep up with my sons. I never know when I’ll be summoned to play a game of touch football or one-on-one basketball.

What do you think—are boys harder to raise than girls?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

Just when I switched the car seat for 15-month-old Jake from rear facing to forward facing, the American Academy of Pediatrics today issued new guidelines that advise car seats to remain rear facing until the child is 2 years old. (Thanks reader MadCow for the alert!)

AAP advises parents to keep their toddlers in rear-facing car seats until age 2, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for their seat. It also advises that most children will need to ride in a belt-positioning booster seat until they have reached 4 feet 9 inches tall and are between 8 and 12 years of age.

Like many parents, I followed AAP's previous policy, which recommended that infants and toddlers ride rear-facing up to the limits of the car seat, but it also cited age 12 months and 20 pounds as a minimum.

Because Jake weighs more than 25 pounds and his legs seem to be squeezed, I decided to finally make the turn the car seat to forward. I'm going to read the car seat's manual again and find out its maximum height and weight before I decide whether to switch the seat to rear facing.

Dennis Durbun, AAP's lead author of the new car seat policy statement, says a rear-facing child seat is better at supporting the head, neck and spine of infants and toddlers in a crash because "it distributes the force of the collision over the entire body."

Posted by Hanah Cho at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Happy Monday!

Here is a thought-provoking commentary to start off your week:

Are girls dressed too provocatively? And why do mothers allow their teenage daughters to dress like that? One author asks this question in a piece in the Wall Street Journal.

Discussing shopping for prom dresses, Jennifer Moses writes:

Having done this now for two years with my own daughter, I continue to be amazed by the plunging necklines, built-in push-up bras, spangles, feathers, slits and peek-a-boos. And try finding a pair of sufficiently "prommish" shoes designed with less than a 2-inch heel.

All of which brings me to a question: Why do so many of us not only permit our teenage daughters to dress like this—like prostitutes, if we're being honest with ourselves—but pay for them to do it with our AmEx cards?

Moses offers her theory:

It has to do with how conflicted my own generation of women is about our own past, when many of us behaved in ways that we now regret. A woman I know, with two mature daughters, said, "If I could do it again, I wouldn't even have slept with my own husband before marriage. Sex is the most powerful thing there is, and our generation, what did we know?"

I'd love some thoughts and comments from mothers of daughters. Do you find yourself conflicted about the way your daughter dresses?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Monday reads
        

Last week, I switched Jake's car seat from rear-facing to forward-facing with some trepidation and excitement. (He's getting older and bigger so quickly!)

I read the instructions several times and checked the buckles and attachments to make sure the car seat was properly installed. But I still worry.

It appears that some of my concerns may be warranted. A recent Washington Post article discusses the concerns over the inadequacy of crash test dummies for child safety seats:

Seats for children who weigh more than 65 pounds - a growing part of the car seat market, partly because of the increase in childhood obesity - are not held to any government safety requirements. Seats for smaller children and infants are regulated only for their effectiveness in front-end collisions.

That's because the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has yet to develop a lifelike child crash test dummy that can accurately ensure that seats for heavier children provide the protections promised.

Problems with developing child dummies are also a key reason why seats for all children have no federal requirements for effectiveness in side-impact, rear-end and rollover collisions, car seat experts said.

I did a lot of research before purchasing an infant car set and a convertible one for my 15-month-old. Mostly, I examined Consumer Reports studies and read comments from other moms and parents on blogs and web sites.

A National Highway Traffic Safety Administration official tells the reporter that car seat manufacturers "self-certify" that their seats meet existing safety standards.

The NHTSA only tests for crash protections that are regulated. That leaves parents to rely on manufacturers' assurances for the higher weight seats and for side-impact protections, seat-belt fit and other potential injury factors.

Are you concerned about child safety seats?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

Toddlers are very observant. They are constantly assessing the world around them. It’s so much fun to watch them notice things about their surroundings. It’s fun, until they gain the language skills to voice their “observations” in public, complete with pointing. Then, it can be pretty embarrassing.

All parents seem to have stories about their kid saying something embarrassing about a stranger. Edwin is just starting to do this, and so far, it’s all pretty innocent stuff. He’s just like your nosy neighbor; he wants to know everything about everybody we see. “Mommy, what’s she doin’?” “Mommy, look at HIM!” “Mommy, what’s she have on her head?” When he sees anyone with white hair he says, “Mommy, that’s Grandpa!” One time, when I told him that no, that wasn’t Grandpa, he said, “That’s Grandpa’s friend!”

I’ve explained to him that it’s not polite to point at people, and it’s not polite to talk about what people look like. But he’s really too young to get that concept. He regularly announces to anyone and everyone what’s going on inside his pants. So I think public decorum is a long way off. I mean sure, he knows “please” and “thank you.” But I think it takes a while to understand the concept that we don’t do things that might make other people uncomfortable. (In fact, some adults I know still haven’t learned it.)

I guess that’s why most parents have embarrassing stories about their toddlers shouting rude things in public: the gap of time between learning language skills and learning social graces. I think they call that gap “toddlerhood.”

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Liz Atwood discusses underage users of Facebook in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I don’t know of any parent who would let their child lie about his age in order to buy cigarettes or a beer. But would you let your child lie about his age to sign up for FaceBook? According to a recent article in the New York Times, many parents are doing just that. FaceBook, MySpace and similar networking sites require users to be at least 13 in order to avoid federal regulations.  But some parents are allowing their kids to lie about their age or even setting accounts up for them.

I’ll admit that I was one of these parents a while back. My tween son wanted a FaceBook account like his older brother had. His brother and I were his only friends on FaceBook, but eventually someone at the site must have caught on and deleted his account. Recently he asked me to recreate it again. This time, I said no, mainly because I don’t see any reason for him to have an account now.

Do you know elementary-age children who have accounts on FaceBook or MySpace? Have you allowed your underage children to sign up these sites?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

Young Americans value being a parent over being married.

That's according to a new study by the Pew Research Center.

Among so-called Millennials, who are between 18- and 29-years-old, 52 percent said being a good parent is "one of the most important things" in life. In contrast, only 30 percent said the same thing about having a successful marriage.

In contrast, among the same age cohort in 1997, 42 percent said being a good parent was important, while 35 percent felt the same about marriage.

The results are not surprising, given changing attitudes and norms about marriage, parenthood and families among younger generations. No longer is marriage a must-do prelude to having children.

Here's what Pew concludes:

In many—but not all—respects, these attitudinal changes mirror behavioral changes. Young adults today are slower to marry than were their counterparts in older generations. Just 22% of Millennials are currently married. Back when Gen Xers were the same age that Millennials are now, some three-in-ten of them were married, as were more than four-in-ten Baby Boomers and more than half of the members of the Silent Generation (ages 65 and older).

What do you think?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary discusses potty training in this week's Toddler Thursday:

The potty is a hot topic at our house. Edwin is two and a half now, and I would love to get him fully potty trained. He, however, has gone back and forth on the issue for the past couple months. For a while he was using the potty all the time, so we went out and bought some Thomas the Tank undies to really get down to business. He was so excited to wear them, I could barely stop him from stripping down in Target. But once we got home and put them on, he said, “I don’t like these. I want my diaper.” So I backed off a little bit. Sometimes he asks to use the potty, and other times he… doesn’t. We have a chart for him, and he gets stickers when he goes. But if I see that he’s about to go and I suggest he try sitting on the potty instead, he gets all upset. Sigh.

I don’t want to push him, but it’s hard to know how to proceed. At daycare, he happily asks to use the potty all day long. His diaper stays dry all day over there, because he uses the potty instead. So I know that he can do it, at least physically. But there is some resistance at home for some reason. I don’t want to force the issue, but I have this terrible fear of missing a crucial window of potty-training enthusiasm and ending up changing a 4-year old’s diapers.

Every kid is different. I don’t think there is one sure way to get your kid potty trained, even though other parents will tell you, “Here’s what you gotta do…”. Should I spend a weekend letting him run around naked? Should I let him decide when he’s ready to stop wearing diapers? Should I hire someone else to take care of this for me? (I’m kidding, of course, but I have read that there are places you can send your toddler to get potty trained in a day. I sure wouldn’t want to work in one of those places.)

I think what’s so confusing to me is that I keep reading that you don’t want to push your child into potty training if he is resisting. I know that he’s ready, but I also know it will take a little pushing from me to convince him to stop wearing the diapers. So what to do?  

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

The spring break season is upon us now.

College students are getting ready to party in sunny destinations like Florida and Mexico, while many families are planning trips around their school-aged children's spring break in mid- to late April.

I am counting the days until my husband and I take Jake to Charleston next month but with the rising fuel prices, I am preparing myself for the sticker shock of driving to South Carolina.

I'm writing a story about spring break vacations getting more expensive and looking to interview people. If rising gas prices are interrupting your trip or putting a damper on your plans, email me at hcho@baltsun.com

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Travel
        

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday.

It’s that time of year when the tri-fold poster boards are flying off the shelves and there’s a fresh run on glue sticks, construction paper and all sorts of odd supplies. Yes, it’s science fair time. You know your child isn’t a baby any more when the teachers send home the notice that your child will be expected to conduct a research experiment and write a report on the findings. Kids will be trying to figure out how to get plants to grow, what solutions are best at cleaning pennies and what paper towels are most absorbent.

This spring marks the first science fair for my 9-year-old, but having already gone through several of these with my older son, I’ve realized the supply most required for these projects is a great amount of patience. There will inevitably be the frayed nerves, temper tantrums and tears. And of course when the projects are presented, parents will gossip over which children did the work themselves and which had too much assistance from grown-ups. I know some parents hate the science fairs, but I always found them an interesting detraction from the usual homework of reading logs and math work sheets. Getting the kids to buy into the assignment is another matter, however.

My son has been working just a few days and we’ve already had arguments over his not wanting to read the books he took out of the library for his report. But I hope when he finally gets to do the experiment—knocking over models in simulated earthquakes-- he’ll get more enthusiastic about his project.

Are you in the midst of science fair season? How is it going at your house?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

One of my favorite bloggers/writers Lisa Belkin of Motherlode recently wrote a piece on successful mommy bloggers -- those that make money, actually lots of money.

Belkin focuses mainly on Heather Armstrong of Dooce, who is one of the first and most well-known mommy bloggers out there.

Typically, there are 100,000 visitors daily to her site, Dooce.com, where she writes about her kids, her husband, her pets, her treatment for depression and her life as a liberal ex-Mormon living in Utah. As she points out, a sizable number also follow her on Twitter (in the year and a half since she threatened Maytag, she has added a half-million more). She is the only blogger on the latest Forbes list of the Most Influential Women in Media, coming in at No. 26, which is 25 slots behind Oprah, but just one slot behind Tina Brown. Her site brings in an estimated $30,000 to $50,000 a month or more — and that’s not even counting the revenue from her two books, healthy speaking fees and the contracts she signed to promote Verizon and appear on HGTV. She won’t confirm her income (“We’re a privately held company and don’t reveal our financials”). But the sales rep for Federated Media, the agency that sells ads for Dooce, calls Armstrong “one of our most successful bloggers,” then notes a few beats later in our conversation that “our most successful bloggers can gross $1 million.”

Belkin takes a look at this interesting world -- one that I was not familiar with until I started blogging myself. There are literally hundreds, if not more, mommy blogs out there. But only a few can make a living off it.

To build a successful blog, the story suggests, you need to have some luck, marketing smarts, a strong voice and the ability to be personal without being too revealing. Still, even with all those factors, not everyone can make money blogging.

What draws you to a particular parenting blog?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Parent bloggers
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary in this week's Toddler Thursday:

Yesterday Edwin was miserable with a cold. He was coughing, whining, and spent most of the day on the couch. He even fell asleep on the couch. Before nap time. This may not seem strange to you, but believe me it is way out of character for this kid. He fights sleep at every turn, so he must have felt pretty awful.

He also was complaining that his ear hurt. Ah, the dreaded toddler ear infection. Edwin has been treated with antibiotics for ear infections twice before. Each time he had had a cold, then woke up with some discharge in one of his ears (though he didn’t complain of ear pain either time, he did have a fever so I took him to the pediatrician). Also each time, his pediatrician said, “Eh, not sure if it’s infected but it looks a little funky so we’ll go ahead and treat it.” 10 days of antibiotics. No fun for anyone, especially when his most recent round of amoxicillin left him with a bad case of hives.

I’m not anti-antibiotics. I know that most bacterial illnesses require treatment with antibiotics, and I always follow my pediatrician’s advice. But soon after Edwin’s second ear infection, I read an article stating that most uncomplicated ear infections clear up without antibiotics (http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/medical/pediatrics/2010-11-17-earinfections17_st_N.htm). What’s more, the risks of side effects from antibiotics (diarrhea, rashes) may outweigh the benefit in some cases of ear infections.

Today Edwin seems better; he has no fever and hasn’t mentioned his ear. If his fever comes back and he complains about his ear, I’ll probably take him into the doc. But I’m curious—have any of you parents ever decided to forego antibiotics for an ear infection and just treat the symptoms?
   

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Billy Ray Cyrus is worried that fame is destroying daughter Miley, according to the headlines. I’m sure that such exposure won’t be a problem for my perfectly normal and, at times, underachieving boys. And while I may nag them to do better in their studies and urge them to get involved in extracurricular activities, I’m not sure I have what it takes to be the parent of someone in the spotlight.

This became clear to me over the weekend when one of my sons was in a recreational league basketball tournament. I sat in the bleachers along with about a dozen other parents cheering our team on, but I was astounded as the cheering turned ugly—and personal. The parents began to criticize the referees, the coach and the other children.

In a couple cases, the unsportsmanlike remarks were directed toward my son, who missed a layup and a few rebounds. “He can’t jump,” one parent said. “He’s always like that,” another said.

My boys have both been involved in sports since they were in second grade, but this was a new experience for me. Perhaps I should have told the other parents they were setting a poor example for their kids, but I kept quiet. I know as kids grow older, the competition grows more intense and I’m going to have to develop a thicker skin if my boys keep playing sports.

But this time, when my son’s team lost in overtime, the coach and I were the first out the door.

Have you heard other parents criticize your child in a performance or sporting event? What’s the proper response?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens