I had a "what the heck" moment when I read this story.

A public preschool in Arlington suspended a 3-year-old who apparently had too many potty accidents. You read that right. The student in question is all of three years old!

According to the Washington Post, Zoe Rosso was suspended in December and her parents were told not to return for a month or until Zoe did not have any more accidents. Zoe's mom is urging the school board to change its policy, referring to it as the "potty manifesto."

According to Zoe's mom, Betsy Rosenblatt Rosso: "We would like Arlington County to revise its policy so that other kids and other families won't have their lives disrupted like this for something that's totally developmentally normal." "If a kid is emotionally and intellectually ready for school . . . then they should have the ability to go, regardless of whether their bladder has caught up with their brain."

Rosso said Zoe only had a handful of accidents when she was removed from school.

Arlington's Office of Early Childhood told the Post that toilet-training for 3-year-olds has been county policy for decades. The county removes a child who has eight accidents in a month.

The story touches upon a myriad of issues, including a growing trend of pushing academics to ever-younger students as well as the developmental implications of fast-tracking potty training when children may not be ready.

Frankly, I was shocked to learn that there is a new movement to teach infants as young as three months to begin potty training. Based on the experts that the Post quoted, potty accidents should be expected and are normal as kids go through the process.

Arlington's policy seems over the top to me. What has your experience been? Anyone know what the policy is at school systems in the Baltimore area?

Take the poll:

Posted by Hanah Cho at 4:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Child Care
        

is Emily B.

Please contact me asap at hcho@baltsun.com

Thanks everyone for sharing your favorite New Year or holiday memory.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Giveaways
        

I hope everyone is safe today.

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

Edwin goes to a small daycare three days a week while I work part time. He's been at the same place (with the same caregivers and many of the same children) since he was only 11 weeks old. We were lucky to find such good care when he was an infant. As he gets older, though, I'm torn about whether to send him to a more structured preschool.

The place he is now has just a handful of children, and they range in age from 9 months to 4 years. He loves it there, and his caregivers are like family. I wonder, though, if he would benefit more being in a place with children his own age, where they have more structured activities. Where he is now is pretty much a free-for-all (I suppose the technical term would be play-based learning). And that's OK with me; after all if he were home with me every day, that's what he'd be doing. And he's barely two and a half (with a September birthday) so he has plenty of time to go to preschool before he starts kindergarten. And, as some other parents point out, kids have a short time to enjoy toddlerhood before they have to begin the rigors of school. Why not let them enjoy the free-for-all? Still though, I think he might enjoy some of the structure of a preschool environment.

Did your kids go to preschool? What age did they start?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Are you looking for fun, family activity this weekend? Search no more.

I'm giving away four tickets to Port Discovery Children's Museum's Chinese New Year celebration on Saturday, Jan. 29. The deadline to enter is today, Jan. 26.

Please check out this previous post to enter.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Giveaways
        

We know about the health benefits of breast feeding. But would you share your breast milk with other mothers? And would you feed another women's breast milk to your baby?

Some women are doing exactly that. Read about it and take this poll at the Picture of Health blog.

Share your stories here, and let us know about your experience.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Health, Parenting in general
        

Liz Atwood talks about the possibility that playing video games aren't too bad for her kids in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Like many parents, I worry my kids spend way too much time playing video games. I’ve tried to limit the amount of time they play, but it’s difficult. Unless I’m very vigilant, the time slips by and they can end up spending hours staring at the screen. But as much as I hate to admit it, maybe the games aren’t so bad.

A couple days ago, I went to our local video game store to buy a new game for my 9-year old. I struck up a conversation with the clerk at the counter and expressed my concern that the game my son wanted might be too violent or addictive. The young man told me he was playing a similar game when he was 9. “And see what happened to you!” I joked. To which he replied that he was finishing his last year in undergraduate school and he would be going to Johns Hopkins University for his PhD in clinical psychology.

And then comes the news that a 14-year-old Utah boy has created the most popular iPod app—a physics game that has been downloaded 2 million times. He even has created his own video game company. He started out designing his first web site when he was in third grade!

So while I’m not sure I have any budding game developers or doctoral students, the games might not be as harmful as I thought.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

I'm referring to children's series The Baby-sitters Club, which is about a group of girls who babysit for neighborhood children. I grew up reading those books.

I bring this up because I'm having a hard time finding reliable babysitters for my now 13-month-old J. Do teen-agers babysit anymore?

And if they do, I'm not sure if a teen-ager would be reliable enough to babysit a baby bordering on toddler-hood. But I'm open to exploring it.

Since my parents and my mother-in-law live out of state, they are out of the question. My friends have volunteered but of course, one of the reasons I want a babysitter is to spend time with my friends if E. is unavailable or working.

Do retirees babysit? What about local college students studying to be teachers? And what's the going rate for babysitters these days?

And where do I find them? Please send in any and all advice and suggestions, along with your stories.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Categories: Child Care
        

Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary talks about the time-consuming endeavor of leaving the house with a toddler in this week's Toddler Thursday:

The other day, a friend of mine who has a 2-month old baby was lamenting that it takes forever to get out of the house. I said, “Ha! You just wait until you have a toddler!” I know, I know; I should have bitten my tongue. Generally, a sure-fire way to tick off a first time pregnant woman or a new mother is to respond to a complaint with, “You just wait!” But some mornings, I miss those days when Edwin was a portable infant, strapped into a car seat. Back then, I was still a punctual person.

These days, getting out of the house is a major ordeal. First, I have to convince Edwin that he cannot wear pajamas all day. Then comes outfit selection, which is kind of what I imagine dressing a star for the Golden Globes must be like. “No! I don’t like that one! I want the blue one! This one’s itchy! Call my agent!” Next is the shoe production. This is possibly the hardest part of getting out of the house. Finding a matching pair is the first challenge, since he takes them off everywhere. So there is usually one in the car, one in my purse, one in the pantry, one in the bathtub, etc. Getting them on him is pretty easy, provided I can catch him first, because it is at this point in the process when he runs away from me. 

Having tackled him and wrestled on his shoes and coat, it’s time to go to the car. He’s at the stage where he wants to get in the car all by himself, though it takes him 20 minutes to do so. Even though it’s faster for me to just carry him out to the car and get him into the seat myself, his protesting screams might lead the neighbors to call social services. So I usually let him get in himself. Resisting the urge just pick him up and put him in the car seat is difficult, but I have found that toddlers have a keen sense of when you’re in a rush. They can detect stress and irritation in your voice, and this makes them dilly-dally even more. So I play it cool, like I’m in no hurry, and say, “What a big boy getting into the seat yourself! Well done!”

Once he’s fully dressed and safely in the car seat, right before we back down the driveway, he says, “Mommy, I’m thirsty. Please have some milk?” And of course I have forgotten to bring a snack and drink, so I have to go back inside, where I usually discover something else I’ve forgotten. By the time I’m back in the car and ready go to, Edwin has taken off his shoes and one of them is wedged firmly under the front seat. By this time, I’ve forgotten where were we going in the first place.

Happy travels!

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Liz Atwood discusses movies and the Academy Awards in this week's Tween Tuesday:

The Social Network and The King’s Speech took the top honors at this week’s Golden Globe Awards.  I’d seen them both and thought both were terrific. But I didn’t see either one with my kids and so I started to think of the best movies I had shared with my boys in 2010.

We enjoyed Toy Story 3, which I thought might have been the best of the series. We also liked Shrek Forever After and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. Alice in Wonderland was a visual delight. And while not exactly children’s fare, I thought True Grit was a great movie.

I can’t make up my mind. The Academy Awards nominations will be out next week, but there isn’t a category for Best Family Movie. If there were, which 2010 film would you nominate?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary talks about finding healthy and fun snacks for toddlers in this week's Toddler Thursday:

There was a time when I made sure that, in addition to his three squares, Edwin ate two snacks every day, at 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM. Healthy snacks, too—fruit, cheese, plain yogurt, banana slices dipped in wheat germ, that sort of thing. But as he became a toddler (and as I chilled out a little about what he ate) the snack ritual somehow got lost. Sure, he has snacks here and there. But not as a rule, and it’s usually just goldfish crackers. I know I should offer him something healthy, with protein, etc., but when I ask him if he wants a snack, he always says no. So I don’t push it, because as the old saying goes, you can’t make a kid eat, sleep, or poop.

But I would like to reintroduce the snack, at least in the afternoon. By the time dinnertime rolls around, Edwin is often tired and hungry, clinging onto my legs while I try to cook, or terrorizing the cat to get my attention. (Surely, the right afternoon snack will solve this behavior! Ha, ha.) But Edwin is not a really big eater. Like many kids his age, he doesn’t want to stop playing to sit down for a snack. And he’s somewhat picky. Unless it’s a goldfish cracker, he’s likely to be skeptical. So it will have to be something unusual and fun to eat. Ants on a log is the sort of idea he would probably be into, although right now he’s insisting that he doesn’t like peanut butter. (Which is not true; he used to eat it by the spoonful. Literally. Guess he got sick of it.)

Anyone have tips for a healthy, fun toddler snack? What are your toddler’s favorites?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

(Photo courtesy of Port Discovery)

2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, and Port Discovery Children's Museum at Baltimore's Inner Harbor is celebrating Chinese New Year on Jan. 29. The Chinese New Year begins on Feb. 3.

Port Discovery's celebration will feature several activities, including Chinese folktales storytelling; a year of the rabbit petting zoo and the Tai Yim Chinese Lion Dance.

I am giving away a four-ticket family package, courtesy of the museum. So, if you'd like to take your family to a fun event, please leave a comment on your favorite New Year or holiday memory.

The contest will close Jan. 26. The winner will be picked randomly, and you will be able to pick up the tickets at the museum.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Categories: Giveaways, Holidays
        

The doctor tells you that a fever is the body's way to fight off an infection or illness. But when your baby has a fever, logic goes out the window and you get the baby Tylenol or Motrin out and start fretting.

It was reassuring to read in The New York Times that many parents have a similar fear about fever in children and that fever in most cases don't cause harm. Dr. Perri Klass sums it up nicely:

As a pediatrician, I know fever is a signal that the immune system is working well. And as a parent, I know there is something primal and frightening about a feverish child in the night.

I can't count the times I've called J.'s pediatrician, sounding frantic about his fever. My concerns are compounded by the fact that I'm wary about giving J. too much medicine. Dr. Klass points to a study by The Journal of the American Medical Association, which found that many over-the-counter medications for children are not clearly labeled and some do not provide proper dosing instruments.

Add that to a parent's worries, and it can keep you up at nights.

Fever can indeed be scary, and any fever in an infant younger than 3 months is cause for major concern because of the risk of serious bacterial infections. But in general, in older children who do not look very distressed, fever is positive evidence of an active immune system, revved up and helping an array of immunological processes work more effectively.

Of course, that may not be reassuring to a parent whose child’s temperature is spiking at midnight. (Fevers tend to go up in the late afternoon and evening, as do normal body temperatures.)

J. has been through several bouts of fever, and with every new case, I'm a little more sane.

What has your experience been like? Do you still freak out every time your kid has a fever?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Health, Parenting in general
        

Liz Atwood laments the fact that her boys are getting tired of their Christmas gifts already in this week's Tween Tuesday.

There should be a rule against kids getting bored of their Christmas toys when holiday decorations are still up. That’s already happening in my house. Just 17 days after Christmas, the kids are wanting me to spend money on new clothes, books and gadgets.

The older boy wants a new backpack. The younger one is asking for a new book. Yes, all right, the strap on the old backpack is tearing. And what parent can refuse to give a kid a book? But couldn’t they have asked for those things a month ago?

Meanwhile, they’re already tired of the video games they bought with their Christmas money and the electric scooter from Santa hasn’t been touched in days.

Is this happening to you? I wish the Christmas gifts kept giving a little longer.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

As the eldest daughter of first-generation immigrants, my mom was pretty strict. That meant no dating in high school, focusing on school -- aka getting straight A's -- and not getting in any sort of trouble.

So, reading Amy Chua's Wall Street Journal essay on "why Chinese mothers are superior" was amusing and familiar.

Chua's two daughters are not allowed to date in high school, get any grade below an A, watch TV or play on the computer, attend a sleepover, choose their own extracurricular activities, among other don't's.

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.

Many readers were offended and outraged by Chua's generalizations and stereotypes, as the comments demonstrate. I do wonder if Chua exaggerates somewhat to make her points.

I have mixed feelings. My mom wasn't as strict as Chua. But I did bemoan the fact that my mom wasn't like my friend's parents, who were more lax. At the same time, it was second nature to me that I would do well in school, attend college and make something of myself. My parents expected that, and I expected that of myself. 

Take a read, and leave your thoughts here.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Categories: Monday reads
        

Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary talks about parents' "thing" aka obsession when it comes to their children in this week's Toddler Thursday:

I got together with another toddler mom the other day, and she was saying that she obsesses about her daughter’s eating habits. She (the mom) had struggled with her weight as a child and didn't want her daughter to face those same struggles. So she bans all sweets and juice. There is no mac and cheese or fish sticks in her house, no packaged snacks. Her 2 year-old daughter must eat the same healthy food as the rest of the family. She said, “It’s just my thing. I guess every parent has their thing, right?”

I started thinking about it, whether I had a “thing” as a parent. I guess my “thing” is manners. My worst nightmare (second, of course, to some tragedy or health problem) is that Edwin will be a rude, disrespectful kid. You know the ones. The ones you see in a store or restaurant and say to yourself, “I would never let my child act like that!” The ones who go to someone else’s house and make a mess, who don’t say please and thank you, and who generally make outings unpleasant for their parents and everyone else.

I realize that expecting perfect manners from a 2 year-old is much like expecting a wild rhinoceros to sit down for tea. But still, I constantly worry that Edwin will be one of “those” kids. Sure, he says “please” and “thank you”. But he also barks orders at everyone (including Grandma), and shouts, “Right NOW!” when he wants something. And you should hear the way he talks to our dogs sometimes. (Dog-owning parents, be careful how you talk to your dogs: there’s nothing like hearing your 2 year-old shout, “MOVE!!!” at the dog and realize it sounds familiar because you just shouted that yourself 10 minutes earlier.)

I guess all you can do is stress manners until they become second nature to your child. Excuse me while I go remind that wild rhinoceros not to throw his teacup across the room when he’s finished.

What's your "thing?"

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Liz Atwood talks about why being smart is still not considered cool by some teens in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Why are some tweens afraid of being called smart? The other day, I was taking my 9-year-old to the video game store and we were discussing what he could buy with his Christmas money. The games he suggested not only seemed too violent, to my thinking they also seemed absolutely pointless. “Why don’t you get a game that challenges your brain or teaches you something?” I asked him. He scrunched up his face and replied, “What do you think I’m some kind of nerd?”

I know parents of tween and teen girls often worry that their daughters are afraid to participate in class discussions for fear of being seen as too smart. Some girls may focus their attention on their appearance and worry that being smart will make them unpopular.

But I’ve seen my boys have similar concerns. Sometimes they think that if they show an interest in academics they won’t be considered cool. I’m sure not every tween feels this way, but a shocking number do and it’s a real shame. We need to find a way to make being smart seem cool.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

The humongous Mega Millions jackpot -- now at $330 million -- got me thinking about whether money would change me as a parent.

If I won the jackpot -- I could dream, can't I? -- for instance, what kind of parent would I become?

Even if you didn't win the lottery, what if you didn't have to worry about money? Would you parent differently?

Would you stay home with the kids? What kind of advantages would you provide your kids without creating a culture of privilege?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

How far would you go to have a child?

For one couple, it took two surrogates and one egg donor and a swirl of emotions. The couple now have two children, who they refer to as "twiblings." 

Check out this fascinating New York Times Magazine story on this couple's journey in this week's Monday Reading:  

There is also no word to describe our children’s relationship with each other. Our children were born five days apart — a fact that cannot be easily explained. When people press me about their status (“But are they really twins?”), the answer gets long. The word “twins” usually refers to siblings who shared a womb. But to call them just “siblings” instead of “twins” also raises questions because full genetic siblings are ordinarily at least nine months apart. And our children could be considered the same age because they were conceived at the same time (in the lab) and the embryos were transferred at the same time. If the person continues to quibble about whether they really qualify as twins (as, surprisingly, people often do), instead of asking why it matters, I announce airily that they are “twiblings.”

Their story touches on everything imaginable, from being a first-time parent to dealing with their children's gestational carriers and egg donor to the moral, medical and ethical implications.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Monday reads