MY daddy
Guest Dad Joe Burris writes about his daughters' fascination with calling him "MY daddy."
Sometimes, my 4-year-old daughter Onalenna will leap into my lap, wrap her arms around my neck and exclaim in a loud voice, “MY daddy!”
She and 13-year-old sister Nyaniso have long made “daddy” my most favorite word in the English language. But the phrase, “MY daddy” is the most intriguing.
Both began uttering it sometime around three-years old, with little pattern or constancy (Nyaniso stopped saying it sometime after kindergarten). “MY daddy” can come at almost any time, in most any situation. The first word is always pronounced louder than the second.
And my girls seem to have gotten just as much out of saying it as I have hearing it.
It’s difficult to say specifically what “MY daddy” is about. Often it appears to be territorial, as if they know not every kid has a daddy around and they don't want anyone claiming theirs. But it’s also seems to offer a sense of security in saying it. Sometimes it’s uttered in joy, others times it appears to be a response to discomfort or fear. And then there are moments when it appears to have no meaning behind it; it's merely something to say.
Here are other observances I’ve made about “MY daddy.”
1) Boys utter it too, as my friends with sons can attest.
2) I’ve asked a few of my female friends and associates with children, and they tell me they have seldom, if ever, heard their kids utter, “MY mommy.”
3) Although siblings utter it, they don’t necessarily agree upon it.
Last year, both Onalenna and Nyaniso sat in my lap simultaneously, and Onalenna wrapped her arms around my neck and said, “MY daddy!”
“He’s my daddy, too!” Nyaniso replied. “He’s been my daddy longer than he’s been YOUR daddy! He was my daddy before you were born!”
Onalenna bowed her head, and with a sad look held me tighter and uttered in a low voice, “MY daddy.”
I know that Onalenna’s will ultimately grow out of the phrase, as Nyaniso did. Being seen with daddies during middle school years can be can be a source of discomfort. Ultimately, my hope is that both of them will grow up to wrap their arms around the necks of the love of their lives.
Until then, I can’t get enough of “MY daddy,” even when often it comes up in the most unusual of situations.
A few weeks ago, Onalenna and I were standing in a line of food stand when a middle-aged woman in front of us struck up conversation. For some reason, she began to get a bit too close for comfort, clearly invading our space.
Onalenna wrapped her arms around my right leg and uttered, “MY daddy!”
Apparently, the woman had heard the phrase before, because she began to mock my child.
“No, he’s MY daddy!” she said, pointing to herself.
“No, he’s not!” said Onalenna in an anxious voice. “He’s MY daddy!”
I calmed down Onalenna and motioned the woman to knock it off. But apparently she was having too much fun.
“No, he’s MY daddy!” she said again.
Then Onalenna’s anxiety gave way to curiosity. She stared puzzled at the woman and said, “You’re too old for my daddy to be YOUR daddy.”
Silence.
Sorry, lady, but you walked right into that one.
Comments
I think it's a territorial thing. My daughter said it for the first time the other day when my husband picked her up from daycare. Another little girl there (the daughter of the provider) has taken a liking to my husband as he's a little more hands on then her own father (or so it would seem). Both girls were running to him but the child that isn't ours got to him first, hugged him and asked to be swung. He happily obliged.
Our daughter-who is 21 months old as opposed to the 3 years of the child he was swinging- apparently stopped in her tracks and yelled 'NO! MY daddy!'
As the story goes it also stopped my husband in his tracks as he'd never heard her say such a thing before nor ever seen her turn quite so green. But at the same time it filled him with proud joy that his daughter loves him so much.
Posted by: Sharon | July 16, 2010 3:42 PM
Just LOVE this story. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Margaret | July 19, 2010 10:43 AM