Are virtual friends real friends?
Liz Atwood discusses what friendship means in the age of social media in her latest Tween Tuesday post:
The other day my tween was talking about the wonders of his older brother’s new Xbox Live, and he made a comment that caused me to consider the meaning of friendship. He said the best thing about the Xbox Live was that he could make friends in other places, even in other countries. That he would think someone playing a video game would be a friend shows a different concept of friendship than what I grew up with. And it raises an interesting question of what we’re teaching our kids when they play games like Webkinz, Club Penguin and, when they get older, Xbox Live.
When they play with children on these gaming sites, are these friends? Does a friend have to be someone you see face-to-face or can you be friends with someone you never meet?
I can’t accept that these are real friendships, but really, what is the difference between playing pretend with a friend at home and playing pretend with a friend on the Internet?
Comments
I saw this post highlighted on the Sun's home page. Anywho, as an Xbox Live member myself (since I was 13) and somebody who's spent tons of time on forums and such, I think it's possible. I've found a bunch of people online who had similar interests, for example, and I've met up with a lot of them in real life, like at fan conventions or when I'm in their neck of the woods. Not everybody's an axe murderer.
Posted by: Tyler | July 13, 2010 9:28 AM
My 11 year old son plays a multi-player game Blockland, and calls his fellow players friends. It definitely provides an opportunity to talk with him about using discretion when interacting with others online. Today's kids deal with a different social world, and we would be short-changing them to not address it with acceptance and and open mind, balanced with reasonable caution. He has had to learn the social rules in a different landscape (literally) than he does at school or with his friends. To me it feels harsher online- easier to reject and behave rudely- but then I haven't been a tween in a long time either. Online connecting, whether through multi-player gaming or social media, is becoming more and more prevalent, whether we like it or not.
Posted by: Lois | July 13, 2010 9:40 AM
I'd say maybe. I have many friends that I originally met on the Internet. Some of them I've met up with (after, of course, getting to know them first and meeting in a safe public place), some I've talked on the phone with, and some I just interect with online. But yes, I consider them friends. And I met Kate Shatzkin, previous author of this blog, online before we met in person.
Not all relationships require face to face interactions. But when my kids are old enoigh to be involved with games and the Internet, I'll be sure to stress how actual face time is important too.
Posted by: Kayris | July 13, 2010 10:04 AM
It's just a sign of the times. I met my current business partner through forums online and we've built a successful business, having met in person only one time.
You can most certainly be friends, and being removed from face-to-face or even voice-to-voice communication, you may be willing to talk about other things you wouldn't normally talk to other friends about.
There are tons of kids that activate their Webkinz and visit their friend's "homes" in Webkinz World every day and think of one another as friends. It only becomes unhealthy if they have no "in-person" friends in life.
Posted by: webkinz codes | July 14, 2010 12:59 PM