Imagine this scary scenario: Your newborn baby is missing from the hospital nursery and after a frantic search, you find the infant in another woman's room. The relief, however, is later replaced by horror when you discover that your baby had been breast-fed by another woman.

This is a situation that Suzanne Libby found herself in, according to The Washington Post. Libby and her husband found out that an aide at Virginia Hospital Center in Arlington failed to match the baby's ID bands with the other woman's.

The article notes that it's hard to know how many breast-feeding mix-ups there are because states don't require hospitals to report them unless there is "serious harm." 

The incidents also point to a larger problem of accurate patient identification -- a major cause of health-care errors. That is a particular risk with newborns, and experts say sleep-deprived mothers are sometimes confused: It can be hard to recognize a swaddled infant brought by the nursing staff for feeding in the middle of the night.

Has anything like this happened to you? How can hospitals beef up its patient identification system?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Categories: Babies and Toddlers, Child Safety, Health
        

E. and I had an argument the other day over who was going to feed baby J. It was early in the morning, and we were both exhausted.

Somehow, the disagreement escalated into a heated discussion about work and other matters. We both want to fight in a constructive way, especially since we want to serve as a model of a healthy marriage to little J.

Just as I was thinking about how we could better resolve future conflicts, I ran across a Wall Street Journal article about this very topic. Author Elizabeth Bernstein talks to experts about how to argue right, which can help strengthen marriages.

Research shows it's how we fight—where, when, what tone of voice and words we use, whether we hear each other out fairly—that's critical. If we argue poorly, we may end up headed for divorce court. Yet if we argue well, experts say, we actually may improve our relationship.

Bernstein offers tips on fighting right based on a method developed by Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies.

It's called the "speaker-listener technique."

He says that couples who have a disagreement should call a "couple's meeting" to discuss the issue without looking for a solution—and set a time limit of 15 minutes. They may flip a coin to see who speaks first.

The person who wins the toss, let's say it's the wife, should explain her position in two to three statements. Her husband should listen, then repeat what he heard, to show that he understood. The wife should then speak again, further explaining her position. And, again, the husband should listen and repeat her points.

They then reverse roles and repeat those same steps.

Sounds simple enough, but the hard part is remembering to do that when you're in the heat of the moment.

What do you think of this method? How do you resolve disagreements with your partner, especially when it happens in front of your kids?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Marriage
        

Liz Atwood talks about keeping her kids engaged during the summer in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Summer is more than half over, and I’m in a full-blown battle against the summer slide—that time when kids lose much of what they have learned during the previous school year.

According to the Baltimore-based National Summer Learning Association, where former Charm City Moms host Kate Shatzkin now works, most students lose about two months of grade level equivalency in math. Low-income students also lose more than two months in reading.

Last week, the cover story in Time magazine was devoted to efforts to overcome the summer slide by developing quality summer learning programs.

In our house, we’ve had some successes and some setbacks. My 9-year-old went to a couple weeks of science camp. The older one managed to read one book in his required summer reading and is plodding through the second.

We visited Colonial Williamsburg, although we honestly spent more time at Busch Gardens and Water Country USA than in the historic area. But the boys did agree to go see Hamlet with me at an outdoor theater. Both said they liked the production, although they thought it a bit long. The younger one’s assessment: "Shakespeare had a lot of paper, didn't he?"

Those are our successes. The setbacks? Five weeks into summer vacation and the younger one is just on Day 12 of the workbook I bought to practice reading, writing and math skills. And the kids are still spending too much time watching TV and playing video games.

How’s your summer going? Do you have any recommendations for keeping the kids’ brains engaged?

If you’re looking for ideas, here are some recommendations from the National Summer Learning Association to combat the summer slide:

• Read with your children every day
• Participate in your library’s summer reading program
• Visit parks, museums and cultural centers
• Practice simple math skills while baking or at the grocery store
• Encourage your child to keep a journal
• Find out what your child will be learning next school year and work on some of those tasks
  

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: School's Out, Teens
        

What factors did you consider when naming your child?

My brother-in-law and his wife, who are expecting a boy in November, are experimenting with different names for their first child. As far as I could tell, they are leaning toward unique monikers. We have voted on our favorites from their picks, and they have narrowed the group to three.

When E. and I considered names for baby J., we came to an agreement rather quickly. We never considered the Jr. option. We both liked classic boy names, and we narrowed them down based on how well it sounded with E.'s uncommon last name.

Picking a name was probably the easiest decision we've made together.

The Social Security Administration allows you to search popular baby names by state and year. In Maryland, the top three boy names are Michael, Jayden and Joshua. For girls, they are Madison, Olivia and Ava.

Do you have any family tradition in picking names? Did you seek out advice from friends and relatives? Did you create your own or combine different names?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Categories: Expecting
        

After planning for a vaginal birth, I ended up getting a Caesarean section. It wasn't an ideal situation, but things happen in the delivery room that you can't anticipate.

I have always heard that once you've had a C-section, you must repeat it for subsequent births.

But that's not the case. Women can safely give birth the normal way later, called vaginal birth after Caesarean, or VBAC.

Last week, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists issued a new set of medical guidelines meant to make it easier for women to find doctors and hospitals that allow VBAC. The New York Times reports:

Women’s health advocates praised the new guidelines because they expand the pool of women considered eligible for vaginal births, but they expressed doubts about whether the recommendations go far enough to change a decade of entrenched behavior by doctors, hospitals and insurers.

The figure for Caesareans is eye-opening: 1.4 million of women or about 32 percent of all births in 2007, the latest year that figures are available from the National Center for Health Statistics.

Like earlier guidelines, the new ones say that vaginal birth is safe for most women who have had a Caesarean, provided that the cut in the uterus was low and horizontal, the way nearly all Caesareans are performed today. Sixty to 80 percent of women who have what doctors call “a trial of labor” — an attempt to deliver vaginally — after a Caesarean succeed.

What do you think of these new guidelines? Have you delivered a baby the normal way after having a C-section? Was your doctor supportive?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Expecting
        

With recent crib and toy recalls, Consuming Interests blogger and reporter Liz Kay offers a great tip:

Here’s a task that new parents should tackle after the baby shower but before the thank you notes: Filling out product registration cards.

Once an opportunity for companies to glean marketing information from consumers, product registration cards now a means for manufacturers to promptly and directly notify families and caregivers about recalls. Under new federal law, the registration cards must be included with many infant and toddler nursery items constructed after June 2010.

Check out the rest of her post about the 2008 Consumer Products Safety Improvement law, which also requires the creation of mandatory standards for many durable infant and toddler products.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 5:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Guest Dad Joe Burris on helping his daughter, a soon-to-be high school student, navigate the road ahead:

Recently my 13-year-old daughter Nyaniso and I were dining in a restaurant when she announced what our family has known since she graduated junior high school last month:
 
“I’m going to high school next year!”
 
We began talking about it, and then it occurred to me that we really hadn’t talked about it.  In an instant I began pondering what lay ahead, and soon it began to feel as if the whole thing had snuck up on me.
 
I thought about how, if all goes well, fairly soon my firstborn child will be learning to drive (gasp!), dressing for the prom, tossing a high school graduation cap skyward, picking a college, packing her bags and – whoa – leaving the nest.

And then I went from fast forward to flashback:
 
Shortly before my daughter was born the doctors came in and told my wife and me that my wife’s umbilical cord was wrapped around my daughter’s neck and that if they didn’t go in and get her immediately she would strangle. I can’t recall ever feeling so helpless.
 
But moments later, the doctors reached down into the birth canal and pulled out this 6-pound, 12-ounce bundle of blessings.
 
“Waaaaaaaaah!” she exclaimed as smiles filled the room and tears filled my eyes.
 
Then the bundle of blessings wouldn’t shut up.
 
“Waaaaaaaah! Waaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah!” The doctors seemed to get a kick out of it as the wiped red and beige gunk off her face and body.  When they brought her to my wife and me, she quieted down.
 
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as they wheeled her out of the delivery room, and in failing to look before me I ran headfirst into a low-hanging light.  I hit the fixture so hard that I stood dazed for a moment, which frightened the doctors so much that they admitted me to the hospital for overnight observation. They ended putting my wife, daughter and me in the same room.
 
Suddenly, a 13-year-old voice brought me back to the present.
 
“Daddy? Daddy, are you okay,” Nyaniso asked, staring puzzled at me.
 
“Yes, Sweetie, I’m fine,” I replied.
 
The thought of her growing up fast has hit me the same way, as if I didn’t truly see it coming because I’ve been too busy staring at her, hoping that moments of feeling helpless are few and far between.  But I know that it doesn’t have to be either/or: I can see her and the road ahead and do my best to make her capable and confident to one day walk it alone.
 
That thought left me content enough to finish my food before it turned cold.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Dads, Father's Day Tuesday
        

 Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday.

A couple of weeks ago, I chanced across a mention of Huggies new "jean" diapers, and my first thought was that they were the most absurd thing. And next: "Who would ever buy them?"

Well, the answer apparently was: my husband.

He saw them in the store, and thought they were goofy, and they were on sale, so he figured what the heck? If nothing else, we'd get a laugh out of them.

I did laugh, but mostly because the last person I expected to purchase them was him. Then I laughed harder because, seriously: Look at them. They are being marketed as cool, but it's just a blue design printed on the diaper, which is so dark blue, you can hardly make it out. (And honestly, when you do, it kinda looks like the kid is wearing mom jeans, which might actually qualify as irony.)

Cynthia Rowley and Pampers are getting in on the designer diapers thing, too. Those I would maybe consider if I were taking photos of a newborn and didn't want cartoon character diapers showing. But every day? No way!

Honestly, I find the whole thing a little mystifying. And I was a little embarrassed when, at a birthday party the other day, I discovered that the only diapers we had with us were the jeans ones. Everybody had a good laugh about them, but I couldn't believe we'd subjected the kid to them.

He couldn't believe it either.

(Photos by me, and kid, I'm really, really sorry)

Oh, and you have to check out the mortifying ad campaign:

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 8:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

I'm a shopaholic, so I thought I would enjoy buying baby items when E. and I were preparing for J.'s arrival.

Boy, was I wrong. There were so many choices and so many things to consider, namely safety concerns.

Besides buying a car seat, choosing a crib took the most time because of the research involved in finding a safe but affordable one.

With increasing crib recalls, The Wall Street Journal offers some insights into what makes a crib safe. Forget those drop-side cribs. Buy a crib with sturdy fixed sides, according to an expert interviewed by the WSJ.

Most of the cribs recalled since 2007 have involved "drop sides," which slide up or down. The safety commission voted last week to ban the design—popular for years because of its perceived safety and convenience—and to tighten other crib standards, including those for safety testing, wood quality and mattress support.

The story notes that consumers may see higher prices as a result. In fact, I don't recall seeing a crib that cost less than $300.  

How much more are you willing to pay for additional safety features and eco-friendly features such as wood with low emissions of volatile organic compounds (VOCs), such as formaldehyde, which is classified as a carcinogen by the World Health Organization, as the story notes?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Being a stay-at-home parent is hard. What is like for the breadwinner who's also the mom?

CBS' The Early Show co-host Erica Hill talks about feeling guilty, letting go of control and adjusting to what's becoming an increasingly more common arrangement.

Of course, I didn't fully factor in the inevitable pangs of guilt and the frustration. The guilt wasn't new. I think every parent (especially moms) places an unnecessary amount of guilt on themselves when it comes to raising children: not home enough, not present enough while home, too distracted by the BlackBerry, not really interested in reading "Goodnight Moon" for the 347th time, not up for schlepping to the playground, too short-tempered... the list goes on and on.

Hill hits on many interesting points that any parent can relate to: Finding quality time with the kids, realizing that it's OK to find some time for yourself and to stop worrying so much about everything.

Hill concludes:

I am a work in progress, as is our family. We are now both working again, and we're learning how to be a family of four with two working parents: figuring out which bits of guilt are okay, and which ones are harmful.

Here's my takeaway from Hill's confessions: There's no right or wrong decision; that each family needs to find what works whether you work or stay at home or that both spouses work or trade off.

How did you come to your happy medium? What worked for you and what didn't? What compromises did you make? What did you gain?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Dads, Guilty-Mom polls, Marriage, Parenting in general, Work-life balance, Workplace
        

Throw this into the WTH (What the heck) category: If you're expecting and trying to buy a house, you will likely have a tough time getting a mortgage.

According to The New York Times:

Mortgage lenders are taking a harder look at prospective borrowers whose income has temporarily fallen while they are on leave, including new parents at home taking care of a baby. Even if a parent plans on returning to work within weeks, some lenders are balking at approving the loans. ...

So before some prospective parents start spending their Sundays at open houses, they should be prepared to deal with some complications. They may have to delay the purchase, deal with the banks’ bureaucracy (and requests for extra paperwork) or buy a home they can afford on one salary.

Is this reasonable? Has anyone faced this scenario recently?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 1:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Expecting
        

Liz Atwood discusses grandparents in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I just got back from a South Dakota where I spent a week helping on an Indian reservation. My mother-in-law stayed with the kids.

And while there are not many parallels between my life and the life of typical Lakota Indian, I found that one thing we have in common is the role of the grandparents in teaching the children. Lakota grandparents traditionally are closely involved in teaching the children the customs of the tribe – stories, songs and crafts. Sometimes they are the ones who name the children.

While I was on the reservation with a group of volunteers from my church, my mother-in-law was back home taking care of my sons. She took them to the video game store, bought the younger one shoes and helped him memorize his multiplication tables.

Not everything was done as I would have done. I returned to find my older son had gotten in the habit of staying up until 3 a.m. and sleeping past noon. Neither boy did his summer reading, and she bought them video games that I wouldn't have bought.

But perhaps it is good that grandparents don’t treat their grandchildren the same way as parents do.

What do you think is the best part about having grandparents watch the kids? What’s the downside?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

Baby J. has been sick for the past week, having developed a summer cold.

Every sniffle and cough have unnerved E. and me. Luckily, my mother-in-law (aka MIL) has helped us keep our sanity and get some rest since we ended up getting sick, too. 

Besides getting help from relatives or friends, what has helped you deal with a sick child?

For instance, is there a trick to using a nasal aspirator or another way to relieve a runny nose? (J. absolutely hates the aspirator.)  

Tell me your survival tip in handling a sick child, while keeping yourself together.

Photo: A cute sick moment: Baby J. blows a bubble with his runny nose.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 1:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

Guest Dad Joe Burris writes about his daughters' fascination with calling him "MY daddy."

Sometimes, my 4-year-old daughter Onalenna will leap into my lap, wrap her arms around my neck and exclaim in a loud voice, “MY daddy!”

She and 13-year-old sister Nyaniso have long made “daddy” my most favorite word in the English language. But the phrase, “MY daddy” is the most intriguing.

Both began uttering it sometime around three-years old, with little pattern or constancy (Nyaniso stopped saying it sometime after kindergarten). “MY daddy” can come at almost any time, in most any situation. The first word is always pronounced louder than the second.

And my girls seem to have gotten just as much out of saying it as I have hearing it.

It’s difficult to say specifically what “MY daddy” is about. Often it appears to be territorial, as if they know not every kid has a daddy around and they don't want anyone claiming theirs. But it’s also seems to offer a sense of security in saying it. Sometimes it’s uttered in joy, others times it appears to be a response to discomfort or fear. And then there are moments when it appears to have no meaning behind it; it's merely something to say.           

Here are other observances I’ve made about “MY daddy.”

1) Boys utter it too, as my friends with sons can attest.

2) I’ve asked a few of my female friends and associates with children, and they tell me they have seldom, if ever, heard their kids utter, “MY mommy.”

3) Although siblings utter it, they don’t necessarily agree upon it.

Last year, both Onalenna and Nyaniso sat in my lap simultaneously, and Onalenna wrapped her arms around my neck and said, “MY daddy!”

“He’s my daddy, too!” Nyaniso replied. “He’s been my daddy longer than he’s been YOUR daddy! He was my daddy before you were born!”

Onalenna bowed her head, and with a sad look held me tighter and uttered in a low voice, “MY daddy.”

I know that Onalenna’s will ultimately grow out of the phrase, as Nyaniso did. Being seen with daddies during middle school years can be can be a source of discomfort. Ultimately, my hope is that both of them will grow up to wrap their arms around the necks of the love of their lives.

Until then, I can’t get enough of “MY daddy,” even when often it comes up in the most unusual of situations.

A few weeks ago, Onalenna and I were standing in a line of food stand when a middle-aged woman in front of us struck up conversation. For some reason, she began to get a bit too close for comfort, clearly invading our space.

Onalenna wrapped her arms around my right leg and uttered, “MY daddy!”

Apparently, the woman had heard the phrase before, because she began to mock my child.

“No, he’s MY daddy!” she said, pointing to herself.

“No, he’s not!” said Onalenna in an anxious voice. “He’s MY daddy!”

I calmed down Onalenna and motioned the woman to knock it off. But apparently she was having too much fun.

“No, he’s MY daddy!” she said again.

Then Onalenna’s anxiety gave way to curiosity. She stared puzzled at the woman and said, “You’re too old for my daddy to be YOUR daddy.”

Silence.

Sorry, lady, but you walked right into that one.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Dads, Father's Day Tuesday
        

I'm at home taking care of baby J., who is miserable and cranky with a nasty cold.

Thanks to an understanding boss, I took a sick day from work. But I can't help feel guilty about not being at the office: I just have so much work to do. I'm letting down your manager and colleagues.

Of course, if I did go into work, I would feel guilty for not staying home with J.

So either way, there's just guilt.

Why has guilt become second nature now that I've become a parent? Is that normal?

Does it get any better or worse?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 3:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Guilty-Mom polls, Work-life balance, Workplace
        

I'm just catching onto the Silly Bandz craze, having read a New York Times article on how the colorful bracelets have become popular among adults. Tween Tuesday's Liz Atwood also wrote about the trend recently.

It reminds me of those crazy snap-on bracelets that were all the rage when I was in middle school in the 1980s. Anyone remember those?

Arts and crafts store A.C. Moore is holding a free event for children to trade their bracelets at its stores on Thursday (July 15), 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

The event is taking place at all its Baltimore area locations, including Towson, White Marsh and Glen Burnie.

If you take your child there, report back to us.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Things to Do
        

Liz Atwood discusses what friendship means in the age of social media in her latest Tween Tuesday post:

The other day my tween was talking about the wonders of his older brother’s new Xbox Live, and he made a comment that caused me to consider the meaning of friendship. He said the best thing about the Xbox Live was that he could make friends in other places, even in other countries. That he would think someone playing a video game would be a friend shows a different concept of friendship than what I grew up with. And it raises an interesting question of what we’re teaching our kids when they play games like Webkinz, Club Penguin and, when they get older,  Xbox Live.

When they play with children on these gaming sites, are these friends? Does a friend have to be someone you see face-to-face or can you be friends with someone you never meet?

I can’t accept that these are real friendships, but really, what is the difference between playing pretend with a friend at home and playing pretend with a friend on the Internet?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

I've moved enough times to know that I hate moving. But most of my moves occurred when I was an adult.

The New York Times reports on a new study that found moves in childhood may cause harm into adulthood.

... serial movers tended to report fewer “quality” social relationships. The more times people moved as children, the more likely they were to report lower “well-being” and “life satisfaction” as adults (two standard measures used to quantify that ineffable thing called “happiness”). And adults who had moved a lot were more likely to have died when researchers did follow-ups 10 years later.

Before you freak out, the researchers found that "moving troubles only certain personality types. Introverts and those scored as “neurotic” (moody, nervous or high strung, according to a series of questions that determine such labels) were adversely affected, while extroverts remained blissfully unmoved."

I've always heard children are more resilient than adults and can adapt more easily to change.

What do you think? How much did you take into consideration the impact on your children when considering a move?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

 Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday.

Becoming a parent has certainly opened a lot of new avenues in my life -- things to contemplate that I never would have expected. I'm constantly making decisions about food, sleep, discipline, scheduling, toys, sugar, free time, nap time, equipment, and a million other things I can't think of right now.

But all these avenues are also roads to Judgment Day. Sure, I don't agree with everything my fellow parents are doing regarding their kids, and I'm sure the same is true of me. But now that I'm a parent, I've come to recognize that you don't always have the whole story.

Food is one of the issues that seems to cause the most judgments. There are so many camps on such a wide spectrum -- on one end you have the super organic, all-natural, no-processed-food-ever folks and at the other people who will feed their kids whatever they will eat on any given day.

I'm a moderate in most things, including this one -- we eat a lot of fruits and vegetables in our house, and also the occasional chicken nugget or slice of pizza. We made a majority of our baby food when we were back in that stage, partly because it was SO much cheaper (and healthier) and partly because my husband loves to experiment in the kitchen, and he had a lot of fun with it.

When my son, recently 2, started eating finger food regularly, I went through a short stage of ordering him kids' meals at restaurants just for the novelty -- I couldn't believe he was old enough for that. I figured out quickly that he rarely ate enough to justify the order, so we just fed him off our plates. But one of the first times we got him a kids' meal, we were at a restaurant where the tables were fairly close together (OK, on top of each other) and ordered him chicken strips and fries. The people at the adjacent table gave us the stink-eye like I could not believe. Yes, they were virtuously chowing on egg-white omelettes, and more power to them, but I felt like throwing into conversation something defending the chicken strip. Then I decided I didn't care, and that they could give me their best "Well, I NEVER" face, and I'd keep on doing what I was doing.

Because I've learned, too, that even when I think I'd never do something, I could be wrong. A girl in my son's daycare class a while ago always had bottles of what looked like chocolate milk, and I was (internally) horrified. It turned out she was under doctor's orders to take in more calories because of her slight frame, and there was some kind of protein powder mixed in her milk. So who was I to judge?

And hey, maybe I gave my kiddo a chicken strip to keep him quiet so he wouldn't disturb the virtuous diners by us. Or maybe I decided that I wasn't going to make French fries or their ilk forbidden because that could just increase their allure later. Or maybe I wanted chicken strips myself, and was ordering them as a cover.

All this said, I feel compelled to share that, at least for now, my kid is indifferent toward ice cream and adores broccoli. But who knows how long that will last, so don't judge.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 3:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

I've been hearing and reading about how babies will start experiencing separation anxiety at around six months or so.

But I'm the one with separation anxiety right now. I've been in Paris for the last week, and it's been incredible  -- but I miss baby J. terribly, more than I thought I could.

Luckily, I've been keeping up with J. via Skype.

I've been surprised at how profound my yearning for J. has been during this trip. Is it because J. is still very young, and this is the first time I've been away from him since giving birth?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Parenting in general, Travel
        

Liz Atwood brings us this week's Tween Tuesday:

 The new Twilight movie is out, but I won’t be going. I’m not really into vampires and my sons think the whole Twilight phenomenon is ridiculous. I guess it stands to reason that tween and teen boys will wonder why girls would be so enthralled with vampires.

A recent article in the Louisville Courier Journal noted the gender bias in today’s movies. The Twighlight movies are for girls. Transformer movies are for boys. This isn’t really new, but I do wonder how teen-agers going out on a date ever find a movie they both can agree on.

Really, I’m more concerned about what strikes me as gender bias in the summer reading lists. Neither one of my boys is fond of reading, but I try to encourage them to read every day. Now that the older one is heading to high school, summer reading is no longer an option, but required. In his case, he must read a book on mythology (OK, that seems fine for boys or girls), but then the suggested reading lists for extra credit strike me as tween girl fare. The choices are Little Women, The Secret Life of Bees, The Bean Trees, Cold Mountain and Stones in Water.

The first three books are novels about girls coming of age, confronting new love, lost parents and freedom. Cold Mountain, a Civil War tale, is told from both a man and a woman’s point of view, although I would argue the heroine is the more interesting character. My son started that, read about 30 pages, and refused to go on.  That leaves Stones in Water—about a boy taken captive by the Nazis. I’ve ordered it from Amazon and hope this will be tolerable.

Have you noticed a gender bias in your children’s summer reading lists?

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Teens
        

Happy a safe and fun July 4!!

I will be in Paris next week, so I will not be blogging as often.

I will be back July 12.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 2:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Holidays
        

The Atlantic article "Are Fathers Necessary?" argues dads are not essential to raising children. (Thanks to the fabulous New York Times' Motherlode blog for alerting me to the story.)

Using data on the role of gender in child rearing collected by Judith Stacey, a professor of sociology at New York University, and Timothy Biblar, a demographer from the University of Southern California, writer Pamela Paul argues:

... single moms tend to be more involved, set more rules, communicate better, and feel closer to their children than single dads. They have less difficulty monitoring their children’s whereabouts, friendships, and school progress. Their children do better on standardized tests and have higher grades, and teenagers of single moms are actually less likely to engage in delinquent behavior or substance abuse than those of single dads. Go, Murphy Brown.

The quality of parenting, Biblarz and Stacey say, is what really matters, not gender. But the real challenge to our notion of the “essential” father might well be the lesbian mom. On average, lesbian parents spend more time with their children than fathers do. They rate disputes with their children as less frequent than do hetero couples, and describe co-parenting more compatibly and with greater satisfaction. Their kids perceive their parents to be more available and dependable than do the children of heteros. They also discuss more emotional issues with their parents. They have fewer behavioral problems, and show more interest in and try harder at school.

I know a lot of dads, including E., would vehemently disagree with that. What do you think about Paul's conclusions in the article? What unique aspects do dads bring to childrearing?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Categories: Dads
        

UPDATED 2:06 p.m. 

The drowning death of former NFL quarterback Randall Cunningham's 2-year-old son is a sad reminder of how dangerous water can be for children.

In fact, the drowning fatality rate for boys ages 1 to 2 is high: 4 or 5 per 100,000, according to Sue Baker, a professor in the Center for Injury Research and Policy at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. For girls in that age group, the fatality rate is cut in half, Baker says.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently revised its previous recommendation against swimming lessons for children under 4, saying parents should decide whether to enroll their children in classes. The group recommends swimming lessons for children 4 years old and older.

Baker says parents also should keep these tips in mind if you have small children.

Consider learning CPR. Baker tells the story of her brother-in-law, who took a Red Cross course, knowing he was going to spend part of the summer near a lake with his grandson. He ended up saving the life of his 2-year-old grandson, who fell into the lake when nobody was looking. "It was a long time ago, but it's vivid in my memory."

Make sure there is a lifeguard or adult supervision when children are around water, whether it be a pool, hot tub or any standing water. "Water doesn't have to be very deep for the worst to happen."

Childproof your pool, hot tubs, spas. Fence the pool area to prevent access and make sure it's high enough so that climbing is impossible.

Here are some additional tips for lake and beach safety in time for July 4th weekend, thanks to Infant Swimming Resource:

Dress your child in bright colors when going to the lake or the beach. Use a consistent color and style of swim suit so all family members know what the child is wearing.

Carry a picture of your child in the consistent outfit to show a lifeguard or others.

Have a hook, rope and throw ring attached to the dock so that they can be used at a moment's notice.

Have the child wear a life jacket in a boat or around the water when there is the potential for an accidental submersion. But, life jackets are not a substitute for the ability to swim or for adult supervision.

Flotation devices can provide a false sense of security for parents and children. These items can easily deflate or fall off your child's arm.


 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Child Safety
        

It's amazing July 4th is almost upon us.

I will be spending July 4 in Paris without E. and baby J. Yes, I'm already taking my first trip without the baby. It's a little nerve-wrecking, not being without the little one for a week. But it's a last-minute, if-I-don't-do-it-now-I-may-never-get-another-chance trip with a very close friend that I could not pass up.

For moms and dads looking for activities on the 4th, Sun features reporters Kayla Cross and Hannah Morgan have put together a great guide.

Go check it out and let me know what your plans are: Do you have a 4th tradition?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Things to Do