Baby J. met his young cousins, whose ages range from 2 to 6, for the first time this past weekend.

It was also the first time J. has "played" with other children -- though play involved J. licking and touching his cousins.

Since J.'s dad is taking care of him while we figure out a permanent childcare solution, J. has had very little interaction with other babies.

At six months old, should J. be playing with other babies? When is the appropriate time to host play dates?

Moms and dads, please chime in.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Categories: Child Care, Parenting in general
        

More women are not having children, according to a recent Pew Research Center report.

Nearly one-in-five American women ends her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with one-in-ten in the 1970s. The most educated women still are among the most likely never to have had a child. But in a notable exception to the overall rising trend, in 2008, 24% of women ages 40-44 with a master's, doctoral or professional degree had not had children, a decline from 31% in 1994.

The Pew Center points to several possible reasons why the childlessness rate among women are rising in general. They include less social pressure to bear children and more acceptance that having children is an individual choice.

Why do you think women are choosing not to bear children?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 1:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Expecting, Parenting in general
        

This Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood writes about how her boys show disdain for her:

Now that the kids have been home from school for a couple weeks, are you getting on each other’s nerves?

I read a recent article in Better Homes and Gardens that noted the differences in the way tween boys and girls express their disdain for their parents.

Psychologist Wendy Mogel told the magazine that young girls master the eye-roll — that expression that says they think whatever you’ve said or done is completely ridiculous. Boys, on the other hand, avoid eye contact. They spend a lot of time with their eyes fixed on the screen watching TV or playing videos games. I can attest to that. Although my boys spent their first week of summer vacation at camps, this past weekend they hardly budged from the sofa. Their eyes were glued to the TV and anything I said to them I had to repeat three times because they pretended not to hear me.

So I’m not sure. Is it better to be ignored or to be the target of the eye-roll? Perhaps parents who have both boys and girls can say which is worse.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

Do you favor one child over another?

A new study by Cornell University has found siblings who sense their moms favor one child over another displays depressive symptoms as middle-aged adults.

What's noteworthy is that ill effects of parental favoritism persists into adulthood:

"Perceived favoritism from one’s mother still matters to a child’s psychological well-being, even if they have been living for years outside the parental home and have started families of their own,” says [Karl] Pillemer, a professor in the Department of Human Development and associate dean in Cornell’s College of Human Ecology. “It doesn’t matter whether you are the chosen child or not, the perception of unequal treatment has damaging effects for all siblings." 

What do you think? Were you labeled the golden child or the black sleep in the family? What impact did that perception have on your self-image?

Please share your story.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and Proctor & Gamble are recalling about 35,000, one-liter size of Scope Original Mint Mouthwash because of malfunctioning child-resistent caps.

No injuries have been reported.

From the CPSC:

Hazard: The mouthwash contains ethyl alcohol and certain bottles have malfunctioning child-resistant caps and lack the statement, “This Package for Households Without Young children,” as required by the Poison Prevention Packaging Act. Ethyl alcohol is toxic and can cause serious injury or death if ingested by children.

Description: This recall involves some bottles of Scope® Original Mint Mouthwash in 1 liter sizes. The recalled bottles have the number 4 on the bottom of the bottle. The bottles with the 4 on the bottom may not be child-resistant. Consumers can also attempt to twist the cap open. If the cap can be twisted off without squeezing the tabs on the cap, the package is not child-resistant.

Sold at: Drug stores, grocery stores and other retailers between January 2010 and June 2010 for about $4.

Consumers can contact Proctor & Gamble for a full refund or a replacement coupon.  

Contact Procter & Gamble toll-free at (877) 340-8825 between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. ET Monday through Friday or log on to their website .

Posted by Hanah Cho at 2:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Safety
        

We've been having a great discussion here about dads who are struggling with work-life issues.

Baltimore stay-at-home dad and guest blogger Will Morton offers his advice to other at-home dads:

When I quit my job to become an at-home dad, I had no earthly clue what I was getting into. Six years later, I’ve found it equal parts terrifying, aggravating, rewarding and fun.

My friend Vince just gave notice that he’s quitting his job to do just the same. Here are some things I wish someone had told me back in 2004.

Dear Vince: As you begin your new job as an at-home dad, you probably feel like you just jumped off a cliff. You have. Your office mates probably think you’re nuts, and they’re right. This will not help your career. And your household income is about to drop by half, but you’ll save a fortune on daycare.

Though it’s not an option some families can afford, your choice to stay home to care for your son is one of the best you can make. Daycare providers are usually perfectly loving, but having Dad at home will feel a lot better for everybody.

As I was mopping my kitchen floor recently, I thought of a few things I wish I had known when I started:

1. Aim low. Your mission is to get through the day with no trips to the ER. (That goes for baby and for you.) You don’t have to turn into a Stepford wife with a spotless home, shiny-happy children and a gourmet meal every night. (There’s a reason valium was invented in the 60s.) Maybe try to put on a clean t-shirt before your wife gets home, though.

2. Get out of the house. Invent reasons -- even if it’s just to walk around the block. Out of coffee filters? Let’s go to the store! Otherwise, your day will devolve into a blur of diapers, crying and barf. You’ll go absolutely crazy.

3. Prepare for snide remarks, such as “Oh, is daddy babysitting today?” I used to bristle at this kind of comment – often from elderly men – but now I just grin and say “No, Daddy does this every day.”

4. When the baby sleeps, you sleep. This applies more to new mommies who nurse babies who don’t yet sleep through the night. But a rested daddy is a happy daddy. Save house projects for later.

5. Get help. Consider hiring a house cleaner if you can afford it, even once a month. You might think you can clean the house while the baby sleeps, but I never had luck with that. And try ordering groceries online, such as from Giant’s Peapod.com service. After promotional discounts end, it’s more than worth it to pay the delivery fee.

6. Get more help. Find a community of at-home dads who understand what you’re going through. If I hadn’t found the Baltimore At-Home Dads group (www.baltimoredads.org), I would have thrown myself in front of a bus long ago. Even though your infant won’t get much out of it, you will. You can talk diapers or sports. Or just be glad to be out of the house.

7. Be proud of your new role. My wife gave me a “This job is for Superman” t-shirt for Father’s Day one time, and it gives me a boost whenever I wear it almost every week. And feel free to use the baby to augment your natural hotness. A baby in a Snugli is even better than a cute puppy at getting attention from women – uh, I mean from random strangers, neighbors and grocery store clerks. Show off your baby without shame.

8. Let the baby scream. Don’t be afraid to step outside for 30 seconds and take long, deep breaths. When you can’t take it anymore, do this to calm down and regain your strength. Baby will have worked himself into a lather, but you’ll be better prepared to face it. This tactic has helped me avoid throttling my own children many times. Maybe use this time to open a beer.

9. Save some love for Mommy. She’s been fretting at work all day about you and baby, and she’s dealing with Working Mommy Guilt. Avoid competitive whining in the form of “You think you had a tough day? Well let me tell you!”(Not helpful for the marriage; save it for your dads’ group.) Remember that you’re in this parenting thing together, and make time to be with each other on this rollercoaster ride.

10. Thank your Mom. She did what you’re doing and lived to tell the tale. She changed thousands of your diapers, fixed your meals and potty trained you. My mom set aside her own career aspirations to take me to play dates, doctor’s appointments and to the pool. She checked my homework and made me practice the piano. Now I appreciate her far more deeply.

Above all, Vince, take satisfaction from the little-but-big things: you will see the first smile and the first steps. Don’t miss those because you were trying to cross things off a to-do list. You will find reservoirs of strength you never knew you had. And you may have to justify your time to your wife (“So what did you actually do all day, honey?”) and future employers (“How do you explain this gap on your resume?”), but it will be worth it. I promise.

Sincerely, Will

Will Morton is a Baltimore-based freelance writer, at-home dad and author of The B-More Dad Blog at www.bemoredad.wordpress.com.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Dads, Father's Day Tuesday
        

My blogging colleague Liz Kay over at Consuming Interests writes about a crib recall and offers for free repair kits:

The Consumer Product Safety Commission has announced seven manufacturers are offering free repair kits and other solutions to repair another 2 million cribs after at least 16 reports of babies getting trapped, in one case requiring hospitalization.

Most of the cribs in question are drop-side cribs, 9 million of which have now been recalled by manufacturers in the last five years, reports the Associated Press. Two of the cribs were fixed-side, however.

The affected cribs are, according to The Associated Press:  

- 750,000 Jenny Lind drop-side cribs distributed by Evenflo Inc.

- 747,000 Delta drop-side cribs. Delta is also urging parents to check all fixed and drop-side cribs that use wooden stabilizer bars to support the mattress. The company says the bars can be installed upside down, causing the mattress platform to collapse. 

- 306,000 Bonavita, Babi Italia and ISSI drop-side cribs manufactured by LaJobi Inc.

- 130,000 Jardine drop-side cribs imported by Toys R Us.

- 156,000 Million Dollar Baby drop-side cribs.

- 50,000 Simmons drop-side cribs.

- 40,000 to 50,000 Child Craft brand stationary-side cribs and an unknown number of Child Craft brand drop-sides. Child Craft ceased operations last summer and sold its name to Foundations Worldwide Inc., which did not manufacture or sell any of the recalled cribs but will offer rebates for some of them.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 4:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Child Safety
        

I was fortunate enough to take six months off after J.'s birth, getting paid half of that time by using sick and vacation days.

But not all parents have that option. Under the law, workers are guaranteed 12 weeks of unpaid leave for family and medical reasons and not all employees qualify.

NPR says the United States is now the only industralized nation that doesn't offer paid leave for new parents, after Australia recently passed a law guaranteeing 18 weeks of paid time off.

The lack of paid leave doesn't only affect parents of young children. These days, more workers are having to take time off to take care of their elderly parents.

Why do you think the U.S. is behind on this issue? Is mandating paid leave the answer?   

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Categories: Expecting, Workplace
        

 Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday.

First of all, I want to say welcome to the new Charm City Moms blog hostess, Hanah Cho!

So this past weekend, my little guy turned 2. I know, I know, everyone talks about the Terrible 2s, but I didn't think it would be this ... distinct. It feels like a switch got flipped, and where before, Isaac was pleased that he was starting to be able to communicate his needs to us, now when we can't understand what's going on, he goes from 0 to 100 in mere seconds. Thirty-three seconds, to be exact.

Take the above photo. We were shooting portraits on his birthday, and he was having a good time, though he really would have rather been playing. Then, out of nowhere, he lost it. I checked the time stamp on the photos, and there were only 33 seconds between the left shot and the right one. And another 90 seconds later, he was content again. What happened? No clue.

One of my friends whose daughter is almost 2 says lately she's felt as if she's walking on eggshells. She never knows what little thing is going to set off a tantrum. She's hardly the only one.

Tonight, after my husband informed Isaac that he couldn't have a cereal bar because 1) it was dinner time and 2) we were out of bars anyway, he became unglued and cried nonstop for more than 30 minutes. The only word he could manage to get out was, "NOOOOOO!" in response to everything.

Another friend from moms' group reported that her son has suddenly become more prone to tantrums as well.

We're all hoping this is temporary. Kiddo's been through a lot the past few weeks, with the new classroom, the transition to the bed, visits from family, and we think those pesky 2-year molars are making another attempt at breaking through. Not to mention, his little brain must just be spinning with all the new words and concepts he's absorbing.

Life changes, sensory overload, communication difficulties, possible teething pain? Heck, I'd be crying, too.

I'm curious how others have managed this stage. What got you through the so-called terrible 2s?

(Photos by me)

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 12:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Any time there's a snow day here, working parents stress out about having to find last-minute child care.

A new study released today found that workers with employer-sponsored dependent benefits -- such as worksite child care, elder care and back-up care -- report less stress and better health than those without such options.

Bright Horizons Family Solutions conducted the survey of 4,000 working adults: one group with access to employer-sponsored dependent care benefits and a second group without them. (Disclosure: Bright Horizons offers these benefits for employers and also operates child care centers.)

Among the survey's findings, workers with employer-sponsored dependent care benefits:

• Were 31 percent less likely to report lost productivity due to stress.
• Reported 25 percent fewer personal health concerns due to stress.

In contrast, workers without such benefits were nearly a third more likely to report being down or depressed and spend 20 percent more time dealing with childcare issues at work, among other findings.

Such benefits seem like a rarity at a time when employers are laying off workers and cutting pay. Is there any employer in the Baltimore region that offers any sort of dependent care benefit?

UPDATE: Bright Horizons tells me Johns Hopkins University, Discovery Communications in Silver Spring, the U.S. Census Bureau based in Suitland and Marriott International in Bethesda are some of the Maryland employers who offer dependent care benefits.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 4:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Child Care, Work-life balance, Workplace
        

During maternity leave, I became hooked on the reality show Tori & Dean: Sweet Home Hollywood. (Instead of sleeping while J. was napping, I turned on the television.)

For those not aware of the show, Tori is actress Tori Spelling of "Beverly Hills 90210" fame, who along with her husband, Dean McDermott, are raising two small children. A big theme of the show is Tori trying to juggle her life as a mom, wife, actress, author and with everything else that's going on in her life.

I realize that she probably has more help and resources than the average working mom. But like most couples, Tori and Dean have arguments about their roles, similar to the discussion we're having on this blog.

In particular, they are struggling with what it means to be husband and wife when you are so focused on being good parents. You are so busy with work or trying to give your kid a bath or getting an extra few minutes of sleep that you barely have time to acknowledge your significant other except to talk about your kids.

By the end of the show's most recent season, Tori and Dean get their mojo back by reconnecting through dates and getaways without their children, and remembering what brought them together in the first place. They even renew their wedding vows.

Many couples don't have the time or the resources to go to such lengths. So how do you reconnect with your hubby wife or partner? What works for you?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Marriage, Work-life balance
        

Do you know a working mom who is succesfully juggling work and family while also finding time to volunteer? (I'd like to meet this superwoman or superwomen.)

The annual "Spirit Women of Baltimore" event is looking to honor a Baltimore area woman who has found balance in her life, along with an up-and-coming female who's making her mark in Baltimore and a woman who has been a leader and mentor in the community.

Check out the nomination form here. Nominations are due June 30.

The event, sponsored by Morton's The Steakhouse and MyCity4Her.com, benefits the American Red Cross of Central Maryland.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Work-life balance
        

This Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood discusses the importance of family reunions:

This is the time of year when many families gather with cousins, aunts, grandparents, nieces and nephews for family reunions. I recently took my boys to a family reunion in Virginia and it was interesting to see how they reacted. There were well over 100 people ranging in age from 2 months to 90. While most who attended were from nearby towns, some cousins came from as far away as New England.

My kids were a bit nervous being around so many people they didn’t know. Most of my relatives live in small towns and on farms. They had sunburned faces and spoke with accents that seemed strange to my kids. The boys stayed close to me, my Dad and my brother’s family—people they see often and feel comfortable with.

But I’m glad they had a chance to see they belong to a larger family—descendants of farmers who toiled rocky land beside the Shenandoah River.

In this day of FaceBook, e-mail and cell phones, where we can reach distant relatives in just seconds, I think family reunions still have an important role to play. These gatherings teach children that people can be very different—can look different, act differently and speak differently—but they are still family.

Have you taken your kids to a family reunion recently? What did they think?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

Reader Becky posed a question about teaching toddlers how to swim.

In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics last month released new guidelines that revised its earlier recommendation against swimming lessons for children under 4. The group now says it's open to classes for younger children as new drowning risks -- such as inflatable pools-- have emerged in recent years.

In the past, the AAP advised against swimming lessons for children ages 1 to 3 because there was little evidence that lessons prevented drowning or resulted in better swim skills, and there was a concern parents would become less vigilant about supervising a child who had learned some swimming skills.

But new evidence shows that children ages 1 to 4 may be less likely to drown if they have had formal swimming instruction. The studies are small, and they don’t define what type of lessons work best, so the AAP is not recommending mandatory swim lessons for all children ages 1 to 4 at this time. Instead, the new guidance recommends that parents should decide whether to enroll an individual child in swim lessons based on the child’s frequency of exposure to water, emotional development, physical abilities, and certain health concerns related to pool water infections and pool chemicals. (Emphasis added.)

The group points out that not every child will be ready to learn how to swim at the same age. It does not recommend formal programs for infants younger than 1.

I've always been scared of the water, probably because I don't know how to swim. So, it's important that my baby, J., learns how to swim at an early age.

Take the survey below:

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Child Safety, The Monday Consult
        

With Father's Day just a day old, I ran across an interesting New York Times article about dads feeling just as stressed as moms in juggling family and work lives.

I know my husband, E., and other men in our generation want to be more than the breadwinner in the family. But as the article points out, dads are finding it just as difficult as moms to strike the right balance:

But several studies show that fathers are now struggling just as much — and sometimes even more — than mothers in trying to fulfill their responsibilities at home and in the office. Just last week, Boston College released a study called "The New Dad" suggesting that new fathers face a subtle bias in the workplace, which fails to recognize their stepped-up family responsibilities and presumes that they will be largely unaffected by children.

With dads taking on a larger role in childrearing, they are also contributing more to household chores and other activities. Or are they?

Although men do more vacuuming and dishwashing than their fathers did, they still lag behind women when it comes to housework. When both husband and wife work outside the home, the woman spends about 28 hours a week on housework. Her husband can claim only about 16 hours, according to the National Survey of Families and Households from the University of Wisconsin. And men and women themselves paint very different pictures of their domestic duties. In the 2008 Families and Work report, 49 percent of men said they provided most or an equal amount of child care. But only 31 percent of women gave their husbands that much credit. The perception gap continued for cooking and housecleaning — more than 50 percent of men say they do most or half the work; 70 percent of wives say they do all of it.

While I view E. as an equal partner in raising our son, I can't say the same when it comes to chores. I have a mental checklist of what he does or doesn't do around the house. Am I just not giving him enough credit?

Should dads equally share in the household duties as well as childcare responsibilities? What do you think?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Categories: Child Care, Work-life balance
        

I love being a mom.

Being all at once a mom, wife, journalist, daughter, sister, friend … is another story.

I just returned to work a few weeks ago after having my first child, a boy, in December. And I’m finding the adjustment overwhelming.

As a former workplace reporter here, I’ve written many stories about work-life issues, working moms and dads and finding balance. I’m sure as some of you can attest, you really don’t know how hard it can be to find “balance” once you’re actually living this life.

So far my experience as a first-time mom has been less balance and more of a juggle. I feel as though every part of my life is getting shortchanged.

When my former editor asked me to take over this blog for the talented Kate Shatzkin, I wondered whether I would be adding more work to my growing things-to-do-list.

But when I thought about the conversations we could have about being a mom and a parent, I got excited. Plus, I could use all the tips and advice I could get from moms and dads out there.

So, let’s begin.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
        

When my daughter was about 18 months old -- in that toddler danger stage that seems to bring a fall every day -- she did a face plant on the sidewalk and scraped the length of her nose. The injury looked a lot like the map of Florida. It took what seemed like forever to heal, and I was convinced she'd have the scar on her nose forever.

I found this picture of that time the other day. As you can see, the big scrape didn't bother her nearly as much as it did me. She's having a grand old time here, putting yogurt in her hair, smashing toast in her fist, and being a kid.

Her nose, 8 years later, is scar-free.

The lesson is that things usually work out. That parents worry too much, and they have to pace themselves. That childhood and parenthood are a mess. A most miraculous, beautiful mess.

I've had so much fun talking about it with you. And even though I'm leaving the blog today as hostess, I'll be back as a reader and commenter.

And I have great news: On Monday, Hanah Cho, a business reporter here and relatively new mom, will take over Charm City Moms. She'll be a great new voice and I know you'll all give her a big welcome. She'll introduce herself then.

Thanks again, and take care.

(Photo by me)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
        

Guest Dad Joe Burris writes that on the eve of Father's Day, a nonprofit organization dedicated to fathers is coming to Baltimore:

If I were holding on to a slim lead in the Dakar Rally, entering the final day of the British Open two strokes off the pace or a few yards shy of Mount Everest’s peak, I’d still brake for Father’s Day.

The annual time for appreciating dads -- which comes on Sunday -- has been one of the great things about being a father. For me, it took becoming a father to realize that we need to be celebrated as such.

That's why it's great to have people like Kashaun Cooper.

In July of last year, the Fairfax, Va., resident founded Fathers Rock, a non-profit organization dedicated to showing appreciation for fathers and father figures. The group has more than 3,200 Facebook fans.

Fathers Rock is in the process of relocating to Baltimore. On Father’s Day, the group will hold its inaugural Father’s Day Festival in Middle Branch Park at noon.

A father of four, Cooper has led the group’s efforts to reach out to fathers by periodically holding contests to honor fathers. Anyone can nominate an outstanding father or father figure by sending in a letter of 250 words or less or a video message expressing why the father should be recognized.

Fathers who are honored receive gift certificates, event tickets, awards and recognition at Fathers Rock events.

“There’s a lack of recognition in our community when it comes down to fathers,” said Cooper, 27. “This makes fathers feel appreciated, like they’re somebody in the community and not just a paycheck or a child-care provider. It says, ‘Thank you for a job well done.’”

But Cooper also wants to reach out to fathers who aren’t spending considerable time in their children’s lives.

Hopefully, he said, “It will make those fathers say, ‘Hey, I can be recognized for doing what I’m supposed to do? What I choose to do?’”

Cooper says he and wife Cherise had their youngest child a couple of weeks ago, and he admits that juggling fatherhood and relocating the nonprofit organization has its challenges. But he said he hopes his efforts inspire more fathers to give themselves pats on the back for tackling one of the most important jobs anyone can have: raising a child.

“I believe I am their greatest teacher. I believe I am their greatest influence,” Cooper said. “What my children become in life is a product of what I put inside them.”

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

Father's Day Friday will be along shortly. In the meantime, let me draw your attention to Giveaway Week's final contest.

It's our Father's Day lookalike picture contest, which has some fun photos in it already. The contest ends this afternoon, so hurry -- upload yours and you could win tickets to an Orioles game!

Yesterday's Winnie-the-Pooh giveaway winner is Calamity24, who shared a great passage from "The Wizard of Oz."

Thanks to all who have made this last week so much fun! And stay tuned for exciting news about new Charm City Moms leadership.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

Ryan, who nicely shared a favorite passage from "The Emperor's New Clothes," is the winner of our Comment 5,000 contest.

Congratulations, Ryan!

The Winnie-the-Pooh giveaway is still going on. Watch for an announcement of that winner tomorrow.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 4:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: How to Use and Comment on This Blog
        

Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday.

This past weekend, some of my family came to visit -- my dad and stepmom and my brother and sister-in-law. For the latter two, it was their first time meeting Isaac. The former two hadn't seen him since December 2008, when he was six months old. So it was a fun few days of getting-to-know-the-toddler.

Between my husband and me, we have eight parents, so when Isaac came along, there was a lot of discussion about what he would call his various grandparents.

My dad had somewhat settled on Grandpa Ron, though my stepmom wanted him to be Granddaddy, which is what I call his dad. But Granddaddy is still around, and my dad didn't want to steal his name. So we've gone with Grandpa Ron.

Prior to the recent visit, Isaac has talked to my dad on speakerphone, even "reading" him his favorite book (which consisted of pointing at things and saying their names -- again and again). When I tried to get the phone back so I could talk, Isaac declared, "No! My Ron!" He really likes saying "Ron." "Grandpa" was just getting left out.

Once Grandpa Ron was here in person, we were apparently asking Isaac fairly often, "Who's that?" "Dat Ron!" soon became my dad's new name, even when we weren't asking.

But that kind of made us stop and think. My great-grandpa Frank (my mom's grandfather) had gotten to know my dad pretty well during my parents' courtship and early marriage. After their divorce, whenever I would see Frank, he would ask after my father, always phrased the same way: "How is that Ron?"

When Isaac started calling my dad "Dat Ron" with frequency, we looked at each other, our faces mirroring each other with this expression: "Whoa."

Oh, sure, it's just a coincidence, but there was still a little moment there that made us both see that Frank, though he passed away a couple of years ago, is still with us.

(Top photo of Isaac and Dat Ron by me, bottom photo of me and Frank probably by Dat Ron)

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

I just looked at my handy Charm City Moms stats counter and noticed that we are on the brink of a milestone: 5,000 comments.

As I prepare to leave you tomorrow, I'm so gratified to see that number looming. It represents the many great conversations we've had here, and all the advice you've had to give each other (and me) on topics from how much good child care should cost, to how to deal with strangers who want to touch your baby, to whether a kid should wear unmatched shoes. And much more.

So I'm offering a bonus prize for the person who submits comment #5,000. It can be a comment under any post on the blog. The prize is "The Must-Have Mom Manual," by Sara Ellington and Stephanie Triplett.

As usual, please include your e-mail address in the appropriate field so that I can be in contact with you if you win.

Good luck!

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
        

No, not Winnie the Pooh. Winnie-the-Pooh.

For our latest giveaway during this goodbye week (for me), I offer a newly published but charmingly old-fashioned version of "Winnie-the-Pooh" by A.A. Milne, with the illustrations (called "decorations") by Ernest H. Shepard.

To win, leave a comment under this post about your favorite scene or passage from children's literature by the end of the day. By the way, please include your e-mail address in the appropriate field. It won't be published or shared, but I will use it to get in touch with you if you are the lucky winner.

Who was the winner of yesterday's cookbook prize, you ask? It was Emily B, who gave us a recipe for pizza dough that I will have to try. Thanks and congratulations!

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
        

The winner of the Father's Day giveaway is Nikki Popovich, who sounds like she's always got a great plan for Father's Day.

Congratulations, Nikki! And please keep the comments coming under today's cookbook giveaway post.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

For Giveaway Wednesday, it's time to offer up a cookbook in honor of our many Dinners Together.

Leave a food-related comment under this post and you'll be entered to win the cookbook "Eat Fresh Food: Awesome Recipes for Teen Chefs."

The comment can be about a dinner that works with your kids, a favorite place to eat out with children in the Baltimore area, or even a recipe.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
        

Giveaway Week continues today on a Father's Day theme. If you win, you'll have a nice little package to give Dad on Sunday (or, if you're a dad, a little something to give yourself).

Before we get to the details of today's giveaway, I'm happy to announce that the winner of yesterday's Mad Libs prize is Becky, for her question about infant swimming instruction. Congratulations, Becky, and we will aim to get your question answered very soon!

For today's contest, we'll give away this package: The book "Steak," by Mark Schatzker; "The New Dad from A to Z," by Dan Consiglio; and "Top 10 for Men," by Russell Ash. You can win by leaving a Father's Day related comment under this post -- either a favorite Father's Day memory, your plans for Father's Day, or the best gift you ever gave/got for Father's Day. I will choose a winner by day's end and announce the winner in tomorrow's giveaway post.

By the way, have you uploaded your pictures for our father-son lookalike photo contest yet? The deadline is drawing near, and you can win tickets to an Orioles game for having one of the best pictures.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
        

Welcome to Giveaway Week! Today through Friday here on Charm City Moms, I'll be giving prizes to commenters. Today's prize is a pack of Mad Libs, perfect for passing hours in the car or plane on your fabulous family trips this summer.

The rules may change each day, depending on the contests I come up with and that you might suggest. For today, the Mad Libs pack can be captured by any commenter who submits a parenting question for the Monday Consult under this post. (I'll pick the winner at random by the end of the day.)

Now for the announcement.

Why is it Giveaway Week? Because I'm celebrating my two-years-plus relationship with you. And because that relationship is about to change.

On Friday, I'll be leaving The Baltimore Sun after 16 great years to take an exciting new job at the National Summer Learning Association, which works to stop the learning loss many children experience without reinforcement in the summer months.

The good news is that this blog will continue, with new leadership. I hope to have more details for you on that soon, and I'm looking for your ideas on features that Charm City Moms could add going forward.

The bad news is how much I'm going to miss you.

We can talk more about that later. But now, it's time to get your parenting questions in. I'm looking forward to hearing them.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
        

Guest Dad Joe Burris writes about his young daughter's sleep study experience for Father's Day Friday:

Last Saturday I took my 4-year-old daughter Onalenna to a sleep disorder clinic. I had been planning to do so for a while, but reticence always crept in at the last minute. Having done a sleep study myself, I knew how uncomfortable they can be.

But after four years of her ebb-and-flow sleep patterns -- where ebb usually beats out flow by a long shot -- I decided I had to seek a specialist.

The interesting thing about sleep studies is that they start out wonderfully. You enter this spacious, elegant room that has all the trappings of a Ritz Carlton. Onalenna’s room even came with a Sleep Number bed. From the moment you enter it, everything about the room says comfort.

It usually goes downhill from there.

An attendant then enters the room with a load of contraptions and a bundle of wires, the latter of which are to be attached to you at one end.

A sticky substance is applied to your body and then the end tip of a wire is placed atop the sticky stuff and tape is placed above the wire. It’s sort of like turning you into a string puppet.

Now, I tried to warn Onalenna about this. I told her that they would attach wires to her legs, her chest, her neck and forehead. I also mentioned that they would place a monitor over her heart.

But I forgot about the wires they put on her cheeks and the back of her head.

When they were finished with my 4-year-old daughter, she had more wiring than a circuit breaker.

And then there were the tubes that they inserted in her nose.

It’s not surprising that she complained she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. But within 20 minutes she was snoring away – due in part to an earlier soccer practice that tired her out.

For much of the night, Onalenna kept yanking the tubes out of her nose – mostly without waking up. The attendant would come in and re-insert it every time. At one point I asked the attendant if there was a better way to keep the tubes in.

He said that they’re accustomed to having to re-insert them during the night and added, “Last week we had to revisit a patient 30 times during the night because he kept taking his out.”

Fortunately, my daughter wasn’t that uncomfortable, and sometime after midnight she actually slept without bothering the wires.

The next morning the attendant returned and removed them. They gave her one wire for her school’s show and tell.

I thought my Little One handled it like a trooper, and I told her I was very proud of her. Still, when the post-sleep-study questionnaire asked me what could be done to improve the procedure, my answer came easily.

“Make it wireless.”

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

My kids got their Orioles Dugout Club goodies yesterday, which got me to thinking -- since I was already thinking about Dinner Together day -- about what kids eat at the ballpark.

With the O's playing the way they are, Camden Yards food becomes even more of an attraction. Or distraction, depending on how you look at it. If parents aren't careful and selective, they can end up plunking down plenty for hot dogs, peanuts, lemonade, cotton candy, and more snacks as the innings go by.

I find it's good to zero in on what my kids want most as their signature Birdland treat. For my son, it's usually a hot dog, and maybe half an order of cotton candy to split with his sister. My daughter digs the soft pretzels.

What does your family eat at the game?

(Photo by Baltimore Sun photographer Kenneth K. Lam, 2007)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Dinner Together, Food and Recipes
        

Liz Atwood reports on an interesting experiment with her own school dress code this Tween Tuesday:

Just two weeks left of school and I’m trying to encourage my boys to hang in there and do their best for just a bit longer. The older one, who will be heading off to high school, admits he has a serious case of “senioritis.” The third grader has become acquainted with the principal and assistant principal in the past couple weeks due to his poor behavior. I was so exasperated with him that I had the idea to change his wardrobe in an effort to improve his attitude. Our school doesn’t require uniforms, but we have lots of school “spirit wear”—polo shirts with the school’s emblem on the pocket that we bought and have been given by neighbors. I thought that by dressing the younger one in something of a uniform—school polo shirt and khaki or blue shorts, he would understand that he was going off to work—just as I dress professionally when I go off to work—and he would behave more appropriately.

The first week went OK and, actually, he seemed to do better in school. I have no idea whether the clothing made the difference, but I was encouraged. However, this week, he refused to wear the improvised uniform, saying he didn’t want to look like a “geek.” So I gave in and sent him to school in a T-shirt and shorts.

I know studies have shown there are advantages and disadvantages to school uniforms. Do you think how a student dresses makes a difference in how they do in school? Should I go back to requiring our pseudo uniform until school lets out for the summer?

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Categories: Teens
        

Today's Monday Consult advice comes from yours truly. After a whirlwind driving trip to North Carolina over Memorial Day weekend -- left Saturday, came back Monday -- I feel qualified to tell you about something that really worked to entertain my children during some 14 hours on the road.

It's called, "No Talking."

No, I don't mean I told them not to talk. That would never work.

It means my brilliant husband (with the help of a brilliant librarian at the Central branch of the Enoch Pratt Free Library) brought along "No Talking," a book by Andrew Clements, on CD.

It's about a contest that develops in a fifth-grade class between the boys and the girls. The contest is to see which group can talk the least. And it's a riveting book, especially for a car ride.

So riveting that the kids actually asked to hear it twice.

It's interesting what works and what doesn't on a car trip. Books that my kids have loved to read, including "A Wrinkle in Time" and "Tales of a Fourth-Grade Nothing," didn't captivate them nearly as much as this one.

Do you have audio-book travel successes to report? Do tell.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

This just in...tween/teen idol Justin Bieber will perform Sept. 5 at the Maryland State Fair.

Funny...I know Bieber is wildly popular, but my 9-year-old daughter swears that her contacts say he's "over." Your thoughts?

(Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Music
        

McDonald's is recalling 12 million "Shrek" glass cups because the paint on them contains cadmium, a toxic metal.

If you bought any (they were sold for $2 apiece, according to this report), they should be returned to McDonald's for a refund. In the meantime, the story says, please keep them away from your children.

Associated Press photo

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (26)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Guest Dad Joe Burris writes about the Pillow Pet this Father's Day Friday:

Usually, kids watch a television commercial promoting a toy, food or clothing accessory, and soon after they’re left with a must-have-it frame of mind, a euphoria that builds each time they see the ad.

For my 4-year-old daughter Onalenna, it’s just the opposite.

A while back she received as a gift one of the latest must-have-it items for kids: a Pillow Pet.

Pillow Pets are stuffed, animals-shaped pillows that fold into a toy. The TV ad boasts gleefully, “It’s a pillow! It’s a pet!”

Pillow Pets come in various animals and insects. My daughter has a bright red ladybug.

And at times, I can’t tell whether she’s more delighted with the Pillow Pet or its TV ad.

I don’t believe Onalenna ever saw the ad before receiving the gift. But now whenever she sees it, she is – to coin a phrase from the Old South – like a hog in slop.

“Daddy! The Pillow Pet! I’ve got one!”

Then she dashes into her room, grabs it off the bed and runs back to the TV, showing off her Pillow Pet.

“Look, Daddy!” she exclaims, looking at the kids on the ad. “Mine’s is just like theirs!”

Which, of course, delights me when the commercial warns not to be fooled by cheap imitations.

The ad displays the various Pillow Pets, and when Onalenna spots the lady bug, she points at the TV and shouts, “Daddy, I’ve got that one!”

Onalenna uses her Pillow Pet almost exclusively as a pillow, yet I’m not so sure about how well it works in that capacity. She’s a toss and turner, and often when I go in at night to check on her, the Pillow Pet is anywhere but underneath her head.

Still she’s become quite attached to it. One day when she took it to school, a boy in her class brought his as well, and the two delighted, each boasting the joys of their own stuffed treasure.

I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for the two of them to watch the commercial together.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
        

Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday.

I talked a couple of weeks ago about how we were going through a major transition with our nearly 2 year old, Isaac. (He joined the 2 year olds class in daycare the last week and has to learn to use a regular cup instead of a sippy.)

Well.

Now, in addition to the classroom change and learning to use a new kind of cup, we've got something else big going on: the move from the crib to a big-boy bed (or, as he calls it, "a boy bed"). We weren't really thinking this was going to happen that soon, but the kiddo is tall and managed to wrangle his way out of the crib twice (thankfully, we have carpet). So, something else new! (Plus, we've got 2-year molars breaking through and a new buzz cut to keep him from ripping his hair out by twisting it around his finger when he gets tired.)

For me, the change to the bed is the biggest sea change since he started crawling. We're now basically past the point where we can put him somewhere and he'll stay there -- forever. Before he crawled, we could put him down and be certain that's where he'd remain. Since then, the only time that's really happened is bedtime and naptime, when he's in his crib. Now that time is past, too. 

The first couple of nights went ... OK, but last night was a bear. I spent three hours trying to get him to go to sleep in the bed instead of running around his room and the landing on the top floor. He was enjoying the freedom too much to calm down, despite bath, books, calm songs and going over the story of his day, which is his usual bedtime routine. In late evening, he kept lying down on the floor. I tried lying down with him, but he didn't want that. Finally I laid down in his bed, and that got his attention: "No! Isaac's turn!" he said. I moved, he crawled into bed, and after I tucked him in and gave him a kiss, he didn't make a peep until 7:15 this morning. 

Fingers crossed that this gets easier.

We have only had one naptime since the new bed, and that didn't go too well, but it did lead to a very sweet moment, and a reminder that, the more things change ...

... the more they stay the same.

(Photos by me in June 2008 and May 2010)

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 3:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

This first weekend in June promises lots of fun, including the debut of the Universoul Circus, the Polish Festival, the Charles Village Festival, and a family fun fair in Druid Hill Park. Here's my short list: find more family events in our FindLocal database.

Thursday, June 3:

Universoul Circus begins at Security Square Mall. It continues through Sunday.

Friday, June 4:

The Polish Festival starts today and runs through Sunday in Patterson Park, with polka bands, cultural exhibits and food.

Baltimore Clayworks Annual Seconds Sale starts today. At this Friday night preview event, kids can get their faces painted while the adults shop for bargains on ceramics at the Mount Washington art center.

Saturday, June 5:

The Charles Village Festival takes place Saturday and Sunday with entertainment and family activities in Wyman Park.

Keep Your Cool Family Fun Fair: The Family Tree, a local organization that fights child abuse, sponsors this event in Druid Hill Park with entertainment and information for families.

Sunday, June 6:

KidStock 2010 offers performances from local music acts Milkshake, Kinderman and Uncle Pete with Kids at Garrett Heights Elementary School. (I love the event slogan: "For kids who want to rock and roll all night, and potty every day….")

Universoul Circus photo from 2008, by Baltimore Sun photographer Monica Lopossay

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Things to Do
        

For Father's Day this year, we're running a picture lookalike contest for fathers and sons. Upload your photos to our gallery, and you just might win tickets to an Orioles game. Pretty sweet!

Winners will be announced the afternoon of Friday, June 18, which gives you time for Father's Day bragging rights.

Meanwhile, check out the gallery. There's already a really cute picture there.

The photo on the left isn't a contestant, but it won an honorable mention in our Reader SunShots family photo contest. It's from Betsy Bartow, a frequent commenter here.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

Did I feed my children artichokes, an of-the-moment spring vegetable, for Dinner Together? Sadly, no, I did not. But Diana Sugiuchi, a nutrition coach who writes the local Nourish blog, did. And her children actually enjoyed it. Read her account of their tasting here.

Inspired by this win, I pulled together a quick search of artichoke recipes from our archives for you. You can hide them in a rich crab dip or puree them in a creamy soup, or serve them in a salad.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Dinner Together
        

Liz Atwood writes about the Silly Bandz craze this Tween Tuesday:

Boy, would I like to be the one who anticipates the next tween fad. The latest hot items are Silly Bandz, rubber bands that come in various shapes and colors that the kids wear on their wrist. Apparently, a few entrepreneurs from Toledo, Ohio, came upon these at a product show in China and decided to bring them to the United States a couple years ago. They started catching on last year and the fad has spread across the United States. Now every tween I know is wearing these rubber bands, trading them and begging their parents to plunk down $5 a pack. Silly Bandz even has its own Facebook page.

Who comes up with these ideas and what makes something catch on? When my tween first asked me to buy him rubber bands, I thought, sure, what school project do you need them for? When he told me kids wear them on their wrists, I thought it was strange, but it seemed innocent enough. It wasn’t until we dropped by the store to pick some up that I had any idea they were so expensive. My son became a budding Silly Bandz entrepreneur keeping a stash in his school desk that he exhibited to his classmates during recess. I happened to be in the class one day and watched the kids bartering over bands, arguing whether a shark was worth more than a penguin.

Some schools have decided to ban them from the classroom, but so far, my son’s school is still allowing them. Perhaps the teachers have decided they are a good way to teach economics. Of course, it’s the parents whose wallets are being depleted. I think there’s another lesson I’ll be teaching -- money doesn’t grow on trees.

Sharon Gekoski-Kimmel/Philadelphia Inquirer/McClatchy-Tribune

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 8:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens