Today's Monday Consult will be a crowdsourced answer to one of those situations you never envision facing when you first have a baby.

Namely: Is it wrong to let your child wear mismatched shoes to school? As in, the left sneaker is blue and black; and the right sneaker has a Transformers theme.

My first-grader is certainly big enough to put on his own shoes, and lately has become fond of wearing them this way. One day, I didn't even notice until he'd gotten home.

The more I try to dissuade him, the more he wants to do it. So I'm wondering:

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 7:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
        

May I draw your attention to the right rail? That's where you can now upload your favorite family videos to our reader account.

Just think -- you'll be able to show off that Little League home-run form, those fine finger-painting skills, the annual fear of Santa....the sky's the limit.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 5:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: On the Web
        

Here's Guest Dad Joe Burris on Father's Day Friday:

For years I’ve told folks that my favorite sport is college basketball. Not anymore. I’m proud to say that instead I have discovered the finest, most practical sport ever invented, one that any parent would be senseless not to embrace.

It’s called kids’ soccer!

I could practically genuflect before the inventor of this panacea of outdoor activities.

I took my 4-year-old daughter to her first practice last week, and though she initially did not warm up to the sport, within no time she took to it with passion.

What fueled her excitement? The same reason why parents like me love it.

Kids run!

And they run, and run and run. And then they take water breaks and run some more. They chase after balls that are knee high. They plop on the soft ground and get back up dashing again. They chase after each other. They frolic joyfully even when they fail to kick the ball.

And all the while, they are surrounded by parents who are all but salivating at what all that exercise will lead to:

Instant sleep at bedtime.

The great thing about kids’ soccer is that it draws parents who aren’t ashamed to admit that they enjoy the sport, in part, because it tires kids out. As we watched them, and occasionally took part in the practice by running with them, many parents uttered, “We’ll get some sleep tonight!”

There weren’t many fundamentals taught that day, and who cares? No one’s looking at a 4-year-old and thinking Diego Maradona.

Yet one of the more intriguing drills was kicking the ball into a pylon and knocking it over. The kids got a kick out of that.

Another one was that they had to kick their mom or dad with the ball while chasing us. How fast did we parents run while being chased? Put it this way: Ever see someone trying to catch an elevator before it closes?

I look forward to when the fundamentals do kick in, and all that running will be bolstered by technique. In the meantime, when anyone asks how exciting is kids’ soccer, I proudly offer the same refrain.

It’ll put you to sleep.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday.

Back in January, I posted here about how I had taken on a new role, as The Confiscator. Today, I present you with visual evidence. 

My son Isaac took a little break from always having something in his hand when he left the house, but a couple of weeks ago, the habit returned in force, and the results have crammed my purse and cluttered the front seat of my car.

So I present you, from bottom left corner going clockwise, a few of Isaac's favorite things:

1) The salt shaker from his toy kitchen. (Sadly the kitchen came with salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard and syrup. No fruit, no veggies. We'll have to get those separately. Maybe for his birthday.)

2) An Easter egg (empty) discovered in front of our house a week after Easter.

3) A package of glow bracelets from a birthday party, still unopened. If you shake the container, it sounds like maracas!

4) A little construction man from his blocks set, who, as of yesterday, is now known as "Baby."

5) A Little Person that's been in my purse for quite a long time.

6) Two pairs of sunglasses (yellow and blue). He always thinks sunglasses sound like fun (just like Daddy) ... for about two minutes.

7) In the center, his favorite book. (I hope I get home before bedtime!)

8) BLUE TRUCK! BLUE TRUCK! BLUE TRUCK!

I can't decide if this means I need a smaller or a bigger purse. 

(Photo by me)

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 4:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Did you hear Lee DeWyze sing U2's "Beautiful Day" after winning "American Idol" last night?

I didn't. I was asleep or cleaning up the kitchen. I rely on Reality Check's great recaps to keep me up to date. (Here's her account of last night's Idolfest.)

I was interested in taking a listen of DeWyze's version of "Beautiful Day," though, because I chose the original "Beautiful Day" as an inspirational song to listen to while giving birth to my first child. It's meant a lot to me ever since.

DeWyze's version was pleasant enough (see a previous performance below), but it didn't have the same passion or power for me. (It's hard to compete with Bono's vocals and The Edge on guitar.) I'm not sure it would have gotten me through labor.

What songs inspired you when you were giving birth? Or did you prefer the sound of silence?

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
        

Happy Memorial Day weekend! Check out the short list here of ways to take advantage of family time. As long as the weather holds out, it should be a good weekend for nature activities.

Thursday, May 27:

Nature hike: Check out the flora and fauna with a hike at 11 a.m. at Eden Mill Nature Center.

Friday, May 28:

Mondawmin Mall holds a Song and Story Hour on the fourth Friday of each month. Free. Call for times.

Saturday, May 29:

Baltimore Herb Festival: Join the green-themed fun at Leakin Park.

Brew at the Zoo and Wine Too! takes place Saturday and Sunday at the Maryland Zoo.

The Strand hosts an Open House celebrating Community ideas.

Baltimore Herb Festival 2005, Sun file photo

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Things to Do
        

What do you do when your son asks for brownies for his seventh birthday, and it is his birthday already, and you have no bar chocolate in the house and a strong disinclination to go to the store because you just got back from the baseball game and you have about 30 minutes to make these brownies before dinner?

Not like this has actually happened to anyone I know. But for instance.

In this case, what you do is search the Internet for brownies you can make with plain old cocoa powder from your pantry. You are not really hoping for gourmet here -- merely decent should fulfill the 7-year-old's wishes -- but you luck out.

Alice Medrich has a great recipe on Epicurious that, I kid you not, tastes like the richest made-from-dark-chocolate brownie you've come across. It mixes up very quickly, and pleases adults and birthday boys alike.

Here's the recipe.

Photo by me

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Dinner Together, Food and Recipes
        

On this Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood writes about what her retiring pediatrician has meant in the life of her family:

Last week I took my older son for his annual physical and received the heartbreaking news that our beloved pediatrician is retiring. After 40 years of looking at tonsils, diagnosing rashes and consoling anxious parents, he surely deserves to take it easy and spend time with his grandchildren.

But his leaving is a tough loss to bear. While we’ve seen other doctors and nurses in the same office over the years, when it really mattered, I wanted my kids to be seen by the doctor who first visited them when they were just hours old. He knew their history—the older child’s bouts with croup and the younger one’s pneumonia. He was there for us through Lyme disease, broken bones, bronchitis and eczema. He was always a calming and reassuring presence.

When my younger son was born, he had to be placed in intensive care because of breathing difficulties. The next morning, I was alone in the hospital room, pumping milk because the nurses said I needed to and I couldn’t see the baby until after the nurses’ shift change. Our doctor came in and asked what I was doing. When I explained, he told me to go be with my baby...

That simple advice -- that human contact was more important than schedules and procedures -- meant the world to me.

I’ve always thought the American health care system is a wreck, and the recent news that we are lagging much of Europe in childhood mortality rates is upsetting. But in my family, we’ve been lucky that, despite repeated changes in our insurance coverage over the years, we did not have to change doctors.

Now the time has come to say good-bye to our pediatrician.

When he finished examining my son for the last time, our pediatrician took a picture of us all for a scrapbook he is compiling. While we are among thousands of patients he sees, I was touched that he wants to remember us. I hope my children don’t get sick this summer, but I would like the excuse to see their doctor one more time.

(Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

Today's Monday Consult brings a warning from the American Academy of Pediatrics' HealthyChildren.org website. Paraphrased, it is: Don't let your guard down with your kids this Memorial Day weekend.

The website reported on a recent study published in the journal Pediatrics that found holidays pose a risk of injury to children. And not just holiday-related injuries -- like fireworks injuries on the Fourth of July, for example. The authors reported that "everyday injuries" such as fractures, strains and sprains, and abrasions were common, possible because parents aren't as vigilant during celebrations.

Memorial Day was the second-most dangerous holiday studied (after Labor Day), and kids under 5 seemed to be the most at risk of injury.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Health, School's Out, The Monday Consult
        

It's the 30th anniversary of the game Pac-Man, as evidenced by the Google Doodle. This must take lots of people back to what was once a huge craze.

And for those born into the thick of the Sims and the Internet age and then the world of Wii, there must be a lot of wondering what the fuss is about.

But my kids, who don't have any video games, love Pac-Man. It's available free in their dentist's office, which actually makes them look forward to visiting. Just another indicator that, sometimes, simple is good.

Associated Press photo

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 2:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)
        

This Father's Day Friday, Guest Dad Joe Burris writes about what he does when there's just too much buzzing and beeping.

The BUZZ promptly woke me up at dawn.

I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to use a toothbrush that goes BEEP every 30 seconds (it was a gift, don’t ask), telling me to go from brushing the molars to the bicuspids.

Once downstairs, I shoved a plate of my morning breakfast into the microwave. I set the timer _ BEEP, BEEP, BEEP _ press start _ BEEP _ and within a minute or so the microwave indicated _ BEEP _ that my food was ready.

Suddenly, my cell phone vibrated _ BUZZ. I didn't care to talk to anyone so early; therefore, I pressed the "ignore" button _ BEEP.

I decided I wanted to wear a shirt that I washed overnight. I removed it and a bundle of my other damp clothes from the washer to the dryer, and about 20 minutes later _ BEEP _ I discovered that they were dry.

As I headed out, my home alarm kicked in _ BEEP _ to signal that the front door had been opened. Then I switched off my car alarm _ BEEP _ switched on my auto's ignition and shortly my indicator system reminded me _ BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP _ that I needed to buckle my seatbelt.

I can't recall when this daily plethora of sound effects began...

Maybe it was around the time when cell phones began doing everything except batting cleanup for the Cincinnati Reds.

Maybe it was around the time when the life’s hectic pace made us too busy to wake up after we've had enough sleep, too rushed to cook from the stove -- and gave us too many acquaintances who lack the sense to know that, barring an emergency, 6:30 a.m. is too early to phone anybody.

Needless to say, I don't get a buzz out of all this beeping. Some days I say to myself that I'm going to shut it all off, if only for a day. Then I wonder: What if the security of my home is compromised? What if after saying a prayer I forget to buckle my seat belt? And what if I miss the call that I can't miss?

That's why sometimes I have to leave suburban Washington, D.C., for the bucolic confines of eastern South Carolina, where I grew up. I joke to my friends here that it's so rural the last person up turns out the street light.

But although technology hasn't by-passed it, my hometown scarcely has as many beeps and buzzes as my current residence.

Instead, occasionally the most dominant sounds are those of crickets and birds clamoring for nature's center stage at dawn. Sometimes while I’m there, I take my daughters out at night and we gaze up at the sky to see so many stars that you can practically hear them twinkle.

And often during warm spring afternoons, the wind whistles as it stirs the sheets and pillowcases set out to dry on clotheslines.

That's right, clotheslines. Remember them? My mother still has one. What she doesn't have is a microwave. I bought her one a few years ago, and after a couple of months of tireless beeps she gave it away. When I go home, I can still hear the sound of something hot and tasty sizzling on the stove.

That's when I often tell folks to call me on her land-line phone -- only if necessary, of course -- and switch my cell off.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K., back with another installment of Toddler Thursday. 

We got a little surprise at day care this week when we learned that our son, Isaac, will be moving into the Twos class on Monday.

We knew this day was coming -- he turns 2 next month -- but there are a lot of classroom transitions going on right now, and we'd originally been told he was going to move with his teachers into a new toddler room. 

But him moving into the Twos is fine. He has spent a fair amount of time there on and off the past few weeks, and he's comfortable there. But, my husband told me, there were a few rules in the Twos that we needed to keep in mind: 

1) No pacis. No problem, as he'd stopped using one at school months ago. (He just uses it for night time at home now.)

2) Naps are on cots, not in the crib. Also not a problem, since he started sleeping on a cot in his own classroom a few months ago.

3) No sippy cups. This was the one that made me, well, gulp. 

The few times he tried a regular cup at school, it was a mess, and he came home in his spare outfit after dumping water or milk all over himself. We haven't tried much at home. Partly this is because we were delayed in making the sippy cup transition in the first place -- Isaac has to take this liquid medicine every day, and for a long time, the only way to make sure he had it was to give it to him in a morning bottle. But we made the switch to sippies back in October. 

That still seems new, so we haven't been pushing the regular cup much, or really even trying. It would have been really handy to know this was coming so we could have been working on it at home for a while. But these things happen, right?

But does anyone have any suggestions on the whole sippy-to-regular transition? It's funny because I'm basically otherwise unconcerned about Isaac moving into a new classroom, but this has thrown me for a bit of a loop.

(Sippy cup photo by me)

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

It's the weekend before Memorial Day, and the weather should be nice. Here's the Thursday-Sunday family short list of events:

Thursday, May 20:

Preschool story time takes place at 9:30 a.m. at the Parkville branch and at 10:30 a.m. at the Reisterstown branch and the Hereford branch of the Baltimore County Public Library. For kids 2-5.

Friday, May 21:

Preschool story time at libraries in Rosedale, Pikesville and Woodlawn, 10:30 a.m.'

Saturday, May 22:

The Emperor's New Clothes: Pumpkin Theatre's latest production can be see at 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday and Sunday.

Urban Hike:: outdoor family festival takes place at Gwynns Falls Trailhead #2. $15 for adults, under 12 free. 9 a.m. for food.

History sale: A bit of history is for sale at the 2010 Greater Baltimore History Alliance General Sale at the Baltimore Museum of Industry. 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

LEGO Party at North Carroll library in Greenmount, 10 a.m.

Sunday, May 23:

Maryland Half Marathon kicks off at 7 a.m. at the Maryland State Fairgrounds in Timonium, with a kids' fun run and concert.

Middle Eastern bazaar art drop-in activities take place at the Walters Art Museum, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Things to Do
        

All right, Frances Bowman....even though when pressed you went with the wrong one of your two guesses in our guess-the-location carousel photo contest, you are the winner of the Loaded Questions game.

You're the only commenter who mentioned Trimpers in Ocean City, which is where the photo was taken. Thanks to all who took part!

It's the perfect day for this reveal, because our beach guide is out today in print and online, with all sorts of things you need to know to plan a family beach excursion:

--100 things to do in Ocean City

--25 things to do on the Delaware shore

--25 things to do in the Outer Banks

and more!

Photo at Trimpers by Baltimore Sun photographer Jed Kirschbaum

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Things to Do
        

Today's Dinner Together comes from the ubiquitous celeb chef Bethenny Frankel, who dishes up some good ideas for healthier turkey burgers:

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

The social media blog Mashable reports on a new survey that finds 48 percent of parents would friend their kids on Facebook. Of course that means the majority, 52 percent, wouldn't.

Some of the parents who wouldn't be friends with their kids said it would be awkward to follow a child's updates. And this isn't limited to parents -- I know uncles who won't follow their nephews and nieces unless specifically invited.

On the other hand, for parents at least, isn't it important to monitor what your kids under 18 are doing online -- even if it feels nosy and, yes, awkward?

Fortunately, my kids are still at the stage where they're begging us to keep news about them off Facebook. But I know this will change in time.

Thoughts?

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: On the Web
        

Liz Atwood has a mess on her hands this Tween Tuesday:

You should see my house now. On second thought, no one should see my house now. This year we have taken spring cleaning to a whole new level. We are painting almost the entire house.

My idea was to start with the easiest and least cluttered rooms and methodically work my way through the house, finishing with the boys’ rooms. But somehow my plan has dissolved and we have a disaster.

The boys’ bedrooms are the worst. Here lies the collective memory of their entire lives—stuffed animals they had when they were babies, school work from the time they were in kindergarten, art projects and action figures. Where did all this stuff come from? And more importantly, where should it all go?

I have tried to avoid being the pack rat my mother was. I make regular donations to the church rummage sale and Goodwill. I try to be mindful of which school papers and art projects I save and pack away in boxes. But still the stuff accumulates. The older boy has six boxes of school work already and we haven’t hit high school.

While I don’t consider myself a packrat, I studied history in school and I dabble in family genealogy. I want to hold on to some items for posterity. But how can I decide which items are worth keeping and which items should be tossed out? What items will my children want to have when they are my age? What would their children want to see? The 13-year-old says throw it all out. The 9-year-old wants to keep it all. How do you decide?

Kate here: By the way, if you struggle with organizing your children's artwork, you might be interested in this story from our archives with ideas on how to preserve the best pieces. The photo above, showing art made into laminated placemats, went with the story.

Photo by Gene Sweeney Jr., Baltimore Sun

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

Our latest Reader SunShots photo contest is for you, parents. The latest subject is family photos. I know you've all got many, many of them to upload to our site.

If you're not familiar with this weekly contest, it offers photographers a chance to display their work on our website and compete for a critique from photography director Robert Hamilton. The winner each week is published in the print version of The Baltimore Sun as well. Check out our latest winner in the sports category.

I can't take part in the contest, of course, but to get the ball rolling, I thought I'd share one of my favorite family vacation photos with you.

Can you guess the location where the photo was taken? The first commenter with the correct answer wins a copy of the game Loaded Questions Junior.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
        

In our Picture of Health live chat on weight loss last week, Concerned Mom asked:

My daughter is 2 years old and overweight. We try to feed her healthy food, but she refuses to eat anything that doesn't look like a chicken nugget. How can I instill healthy eating habits when she is so picky?

It's a perfect subject for our Monday Consult, particularly in light of the enduring controversy over how to properly feed our kids. (Witness the recent battles over the new chocolate formula.)

Dr. Lawrence Cheskin, director of the Johns Hopkins Weight Management Center, answered the question this way:

"Most experts advise that kids will not starve themselves to death if we refuse to give them exactly what they want. This is a great age to give only good foods, and ignore the pleas for junk. We learn to like what we're used to eating, so get them in good habits early!"

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Joe Burris has this Father's Day Friday post:

My 13-year old daughter is fond of reminding my wife and me that she has more Facebook friends than the two of us combined. Yet the other day, I boasted to her that I have more Twitter followers. Upon hearing my number she had to agree.

Now, there are two simple reasons for this. First of all, many folks her age prefer sites such as Facebook and MySpace over Twitter. Secondly, I’ve learned how to lure Twitter followers to my page, and although my list is relatively small now, someday I hope to have the equivalent of the population of Omaha, Neb., following me.

The lure comes from keywords.

I once joked to a friend of mine that occasionally, while venturing out in cyberspace, I turn around, stare at some of my Twitter followers and ask, “Why are following me?” But I’m told that apparently some companies and organizations spot certain words that come up in Tweets and then respond by making your acquaintance.

I became aware of this while Tweeting during a recent trip to the dentist, only to discover later that I had become a magnet for the oral hygiene industry.

Nowadays, I venture out onto Tweet Street looking to draw followers. Although I erase many of them for repulsive content, I still have a fairly diverse batch -- from shopping sites to real estate sites to museums to a site written completely in Russian.

I bragged to my daughter that it shows how much folks show a keen interest in her dad. And I guess at one point I believed that. But now I know that such is tantamount to believing junk mail comes from someone who cared enough to write.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

Hi, folks, it's Sarah K.K.! After a few weeks out because of some emergency surgery, I am finally back with another installment of Toddler Thursday. 

It's been a strange few weeks in our house. After my medical situation a few weeks ago, I couldn't lift my son, or much of anything else, for a while. But I was home much more since I couldn't really do a lot, so I got to spend more time with my almost-2-year-old, Isaac, which was excellent.

He's in a really funny stage -- he's started putting words together into sentences, and that mixed with near-constant mimicry has meant that he's talking talking talking all the time. It's so amusing. We often find ourselves hiding our faces behind our hands and cracking up at his inadvertent hilarity but trying to make sure he doesn't think we're laughing at him.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at home at dinnertime, which is a rarity most of the time. Isaac was in the highchair, and I walked over to my husband and gave him a hug and a kiss. Isaac looked up at us and said, "Good job!" and started clapping. We didn't quite think fast enough to curtsy and bow, unfortunately.

"Good job," though, has become a familiar refrain. I know the kids get told that often at daycare, and we certainly praise Isaac when he's doing something right.

My last morning at home before my return to work, I was still sleeping, and Isaac and my husband came in to say goodbye before they left. Isaac gave me a hug, and followed it with, "Good job, Mommy! High five!"

I wish I always got that much positive reinforcement for sleeping in!

(Photo by me)

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 1:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Of course the 2010 Preakness Stakes is happening this Saturday. (If you're going or even just watching at home with the kids, RSVP to our Facebook event. If you're at the race, we'd love it if you'd upload your pictures for use on our site.)

What else is there to do with the kids? Here is the weekly short list. Find more at FindLocal:

Thursday, May 13:

Eden Mill Nature Center Storytime takes place at the Eden Mill Nature Center at 11 a.m. Registration required.

Urban Pirates visit the Catonsville branch of the Baltimore County Public Library at 10:30 a.m. For kids 2-5.

Friday, May 14:

Preakness Parade of Lights starts at Pratt Street and Market Place at 8:30 p.m.

Saturday, May 15:

Drawing Books takes place at the Perry Hall branch of the Baltimore County Public Library at 2 p.m. You'll be telling stories and designing stories around illustrations by Laura Rankin.

Middle Eastern Art Bazaar art activities continue this weekend with glass painting at the Walters Art Museum, 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday and Sunday.

Sunday, May 16:

Tooth Fairy Day happens at the National Museum of Dentistry downtown from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.

Preakness parade 2006 by Chiaki Kawajiri, Baltimore Sun

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Things to Do
        

This Wednesday food day coincides with the sixth blogiversary of local blog Coconut & Lime, authored by Hamilton resident Rachel Rappaport. Rappaport publishes her original recipes here and lots of helpful tips, and now she's having a contest in honor of the blogiversary. (Good for moms: she loves cupcakes.)

We've published some of her recipes in our food section.

Anyway, good luck to all in the contest. We'll be watching for some tasty results.

Photo of Rachel Rappaport with her homemade marshmallows by Baltimore Sun photographer Barbara Haddock Taylor

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Food and Recipes
        

Liz Atwood is back with Tween Tuesday. Today, she's looking for secrets for keeping the peace in a household full of volatile tween/teen emotions:

Can anyone be harder to live with than a tween? Yes, you say. A teen. We have one of each in our house and it’s like living with two powder kegs. The other night we all went to the movies and the boys fought over who got to sit up front in the car. The loser stalked off and wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the evening.

I came across this interview with a middle school guidance counselor in the Chicago area. She says the secret to parenting tweens is to keep the channels of communication open and keep listening. I agree. But getting them to talk is sometimes the hard part. As they get older, I’ve found it becomes increasingly difficult to figure out what’s going on in their lives. I’m sure I’m not alone. Do you have any advice for dealing with the volatile tween/teen?

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

Several Preakness events where the wee ones can have fun are upon us:

--Pee Wee Preakness takes place tomorrow (May 11) at 11:30 a.m. at Federal Hill Park. What could be more fun than watching a race that takes place on hippity hop balls? And it's free.

--Preakness Frog Hop takes place at noon May 12 in Patterson Park. Cheer for your favorite frog this time. Free.

--Preakness Balloon Festival kicks off at 3 p.m. May 13 at Turf Valley in Ellicott City.

Grace Davis, 6, hops along at last year's Pee Wee Preakness. Photo by Amy Davis/Baltimore Sun.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 3:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Things to Do
        

The tragic death of UVA lacrosse player and Cockeysville native Yeardley Love has also raised many questions about the safety of students on campus. Our reporters Scott Calvert and Tricia Bishop explored the issue in this story yesterday.

The piece looked at what campuses do and don't do to keep up to date on their students' scrapes with the law, and included quotes from an organization called Security on Campus, Inc.

The story left me wondering what parents could tell their kids about how to stay safe, especially when they might be living on campuses miles away. The organization's website had these tips for our Monday Consult:

--Know your surroundings and trust your instincts.
--Keep phone numbers of campus safety in your cell for emergencies.
--Lock your door. Do not loan your key to friends.
--Do not accept drinks (alcoholic or otherwise) from others. Remember that alcohol is the #1 date-rape drug.
--When you go out, let someone know where you're going and when you plan to be back.
--Do not prop doors.
--Use caution when posting personal information on Facebook, MySpace, and other social networking sites.

For more information, go to the organization's website.

One more angle on this is the role alcohol may have played in the events leading up to Love's death. Read editorial writer Peter Jensen's perspective here, and discuss with your college students.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: The Monday Consult
        

Erin Jeany has sent us a letter to her son, Elijah, just under the Mother's Day Letters Project wire. You can also find it on her blog, One Big 'Pyle' Of Love.

Here's Erin:

Dear Elijah John, my precious boy.

It is my second Mother's Day since you have entered this world! There is so much I thought about telling you. It's hard to put into words. I never really understood what it truly meant when they said being a parent is having your heart walking around outside your body. I do now.

I never thought I would have a little boy of my own, especially not as perfect as you. From the moment I found out you were growing inside me the love I felt grew and grew. You were my little miracle baby! I have never in my life felt an emotion as strong and indescribable as the ones I felt when you entered this world. Your first tiny cry, the way you blinked your eyes, the way it looked when your father first walked over to me with you in his arms, how you snuggled into his chest all safe and warm. Your became our world, the start of our family. You turned out lives around and suddenly everything had a purpose. I will never forget a second of it. It was honestly the best day of my life.

As a infant you continued to amaze me. You were so smart and strong, doing everything ahead of schedule. Too fast actually. It seems like I only held you for a week before you were ready to be independent! You were so happy to sleep in your crib by yourself, I missed the naps together that we shared for the first 2 months. You would lay with your forehead and nose pressed up against my face. I would lay there and breath in your scent, stare at your sleeping face, and kiss your tiny chin. I would just think over and over how lucky I was to have a little angel so tiny and perfect. I would try to think how it was possible to love someone so much more already than you ever loved and know that love was only growing bigger by the second. I have pages and pages of memories from those months written down and could go on and on.

Everyone you met was immediately wrapped around your finger. You have always been so cute and knew it right away! Your charisma was +99 and people couldn't wait to hold, kiss, and play with you. Your beautiful big blue eyes and blonde hair, a smile that could melt any heart, how could they not?

Now that you're a toddler it seems everything flies by so fast. You were 25 pounds and 34" tall at the doctor last month. I am almost afraid to know what you will be when we go back. You grow and grow and grow out of your clothes before you even wear them all! I'm buying you new shoes every week! When you were born they took a foot print and stuck it on a card. The nurse said you were the first baby she ever saw that filled up the whole card! You never could wear newborn shoes! You started at size 2 from birth! Now you are already wearing 7/7.5!

You love to dance. You love ducks and moose. You love Mama, Dada, Da-Duck, Ma-Muck, Gamma, Nee, Beth. You love all your family and friends and are so wonderful at showing it. You give kisses and hugs and full tooth grins. You love to play with Dada and would be happy if we just let you swim in the bath tub all day every day. You talk nonstop and say silly made up things like 'Shukah' and then you turn around and say full clear sentences such as "Baby has milk" or like today when you said "Beth has *woof* *woof*." Barking as loud as you can while you tell us about your doggie cousin, Jake.

You know all your animals (well basic farm, domestic, and some jungle) and can point out their pictures and make their sounds. You can name and point to pretty much any simple object in the house we ask. You can jump, run, sing, high five, climb, and even know how to turn on and off every electronic we own.

EJTP, I could talk about you and how proud of you and how much I love you all day. I DO talk about you all day. But I think I will close this with one more thing. In a favorite book of mine a mother gives her daughter a very special locket with a very special saying engraved on it, "Plus que ma propre vie." In French it means 'More than my own life.'

Never in my life has a saying been more beautiful or more true.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 5:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Happy Mother's Day! To continue our Mother's Day Letters Project, I want to introduce you to a lively group of ladies known as the Pimlico Elementary School Grandparents' Club.

I met many of them nine years ago, when I was working on a story about them for The Sun. (You can read it here to get a better idea of how much they've meant over the years to that school.)

I was pregnant when I was reporting the story. Very pregnant. The ladies fussed over me, and maybe that's why they still remember me.

It occurred to me that these women, who have raised children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren through many challenges, would have some priceless Tweets of advice for all mothers and children.

They didn't disappoint. Watch this space throughout the day: I'll be updating this post, along with the @charmcitymoms Twitter account, with their advice. Here's the first Tweet:

--"If you want to make friends, as the Bible says, you want to first show yourself friendly." --Rosella Pinkney, 68. (Five children, seven grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren.)

--"Don't be a follower, because that's what they do. They follow other people and mess up their own lives. Be true to yourself." -- Mary Johnson, 62. (Two children, three grandchildren, one great-grandchild.)

--"Come to know God. There's answers when we pray and communicate with him." --Viola Bell, 62. (Three children, ten grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren.)

--"Always respect your elders. Be curious, and say 'Yes, ma'am' and 'No, ma'am.' " Jean Webster, 75. (Five children, 15 grandchildren, three great-grandchildren.)

--"If you give love, you will receive love. Always think about other people." --Nellie Taylor, "in my 70s." (Three children, four grandchildren, one great-grandchild.)

--"Always treat people as you want to be treated." --Mabel Rich, 70. (Seven children, 16 grandchildren, 17 great-grandchildren.)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 3:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

The latest contribution to the Mother's Day Letters Project comes from Heather J. (See it also as a post on her blog, Age 30+...A Lifetime of Books, which is also featured on our Mobbies page (for Maryland's Outstanding Blogs).

On Mother's Day, I'll share my own letter to my kids. And there will be a special treat -- all day on Mother's Day, @charmcitymoms will feature Tweets of advice from a club of grandmothers and great-grandmothers associated with Pimlico Elementary School. The Tweets will also be collected here.

Meanwhile, here's Heather...

Dear Kiddo,

Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend. Your dad has been asking me what I want and, as usual, I haven’t given him much of an answer. Do you know why? Because I already have exactly what every mom wants for Mother’s Day – a wonderful child who I love and who loves me back.

You are kind, loving, and generous. Your magnetic personality draws everyone in around you, no matter what their age. You don’t ever make fun of people and you do your best to make sure no one else does either.

You are huggable and kissable and you don’t fuss when I do all that hugging and kissing. You are not (yet) embarrassed by me or by your dad and you like to have us around (you are 8 years old now … I wonder how many more years that will last?).

Despite all the difficulties that have been thrown your way, you continue to think positively. You don’t complain (much) about your restricted diet or your feeding tube, and your outlook on life is fantastic.

That’s not to say that you are an angel. You try my patience on a regular basis, and you can’t seem to remember anything I tell you (unless it is about something you want to do – then you never forget!). But that is to be expected; you are only human, and a boy at that.

Regardless of who you are or how you act, I am your mother and I will love you always. It just makes things that much better when I can honestly say that I am proud of you every day.

I am so enjoying watching you grow up, and I can only imagine what an amazing man you will become one day. I love you Kiddo!

Love, Mommy

McClatchy-Tribune photo

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 3:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Holidays, Mother's Day letters
        

Here's Guest Dad Joe Burris on lessons about helping kids navigate in a foreign land -- and helping people from elsewhere navigate ours:

One of my friends from West Africa is fond of saying that you can always tell an American who has experienced the world outside his or her borders. Earlier this week, while I working at a do-it-yourself office supply store in D.C., I got a sense of what he means.

The loud and somewhat disruptive chatter of the place was suddenly quieted by a man who kept requiring assistance but spoke little English. The workers had little patience for him, and nearby patrons weren’t much better.

When he asked a woman sitting next to me to help, she declined. She then leaned over to me and whispered, “He’s getting on my nerves.”

The moment reminded me of the first time I tried to use a self-service laundry near my wife’s home in Soweto, South Africa. I scarcely understood the symbols on the machines. As I tried to figure them out, the laundry operator and the other customers stared at me with amusement and whispered too each other, but would offer no assistance.

Before I knew it one of the machines overflowed with suds. A patron walked over to me and said, “You put too much soap powder in!”...

Finally, I said to myself, someone to talk to.

“Well,” I replied, “what do these symbols …”

“Sorry,” she interjected. “I don’t speak much English.”

My daughters have been to their mother’s home country throughout much of their lives. We often go as a family but, when the price makes it prohibitive to do so, I encourage my wife to take them without me.

For me, it’s important that they not only maintain a sense of their South African heritage, but that they also understand what it feels like to be in an unfamiliar place, and how to navigate their ways through it.

Or better still that they grow up having sympathy for those who struggle to navigate through those moments, and, if the opportunity presents itself, offer help _ as I did for the man in the office store.

As it turned out, all he wanted to know was how to place type in boldface and italics on Microsoft Word. He smiled with relief when I showed him what to do.

As I departed, other patrons stared at me as if I was from another world.

And maybe I am.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday
        

Here's the family fun list for this busy Mother's Day weekend. There should be something for everyone. For more Mother's Day and other events, check out our FindLocal database.

Thursday, May 6:

BSA Spring Dance Performance runs through Sunday at the Baltimore School for the Arts.

Friday, May 7:

FlowerMart has a lemon stick and more for everyone at Mount Vernon Square through Saturday.

Star Parties: Watch the sky from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. at the Dundalk campus of the Community College of Baltimore County.

Saturday, May 8:

BaltiMORE Happiness for Less Weekend has discounts and free activities for all ages at the Inner Harbor through Sunday.

Fair in the Square brings children's activities, including a petting zoo, and food to the Village of Cross Keys.

Let's Make Tracks: Kids 6 and up can learn how to track animals at Irvine Nature Center.

Sunday, May 9:

Mother's Day at Ladew Gardens from 10:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. features free gifts while available at the Monkton gardens.

Mother's Day Cruises on the Spirit of Baltimore.

Mother's Day Gospel Celebration at 6 p.m. at the First Mariner Arena.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Today's food topic is Mother's Day recipes.

Don't miss Susan Reimer's helpful piece on Mother's Day brunch, with a Baltimore International College chef demonstrating a decadent egg dish and easy French toast (pictured on the left).

For a twist on that French toast, I recommend a Mother's Day recipe we presented last year (and which I tested): Angel Food Cake French Toast. I personally think it's the bomb, and just as easy as regular if you use a store-bought cake.

I mean, if your family uses one. They're making brunch for you, right?

You're just cleaning up. (Snicker, snicker.)

What's your favorite food for Mother's Day?

Photo by Baltimore Sun photographer Lloyd Fox

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Dinner Together, Food and Recipes
        

It's Star Wars Day again! And guess what -- my kids still haven't watched the movie.

That's more from our own inertia than anything. I think your comments last year convinced me it was more than OK.

Anyway, let's not keep that from discussing these great family movies.

Who's your favorite Star Wars character? (I'm keeping this to the first film, but feel free to write in candidates from sequels and prequels in the comments.)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Holidays
        

Liz Atwood talks tween fashion on this Tween Tuesday:

As the recession ebbs, retailers are gearing up to attract tween buyers. Madonna is developing her Material Girl line, which will be in Macy’s stores this August. J.C. Penney’s announcement of its new tween fashion line called Uproar sent the company’s stock price higher a couple weeks ago.

It’s really astounding that 8-to-14-year-old children have such buying power. They can’t drive. They can’t work. And, at least in the case of my younger son, calculating dollars and cents is still a challenge.

But studies show this population of 21 million is a retailing gold mine. They might not be able to drive to the mall, but tweens know how to nag. They wield about $43 billion a year in spending power, according to EPM Communications' Tween Spending & Influence report.

Actually, those numbers are probably conservative. I bet my sons influence my buying more than $2,000 worth of stuff a year. How about you? Any idea how much your tween prompts you to spend each year?

(Associated Press photo)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

Jill Berry of Musings from Me has posted her contribution to the Mother's Day Letters Project.

I'm printing it below for us to learn from, too.

I'd love to have letters, blog posts, or Tweets from every Maryland mom I can. E-mail them to me here or post in the comments section. Or post on your blog with a link back to the original project post.

Here's Jill:

Note: For reasons of safety and security, I don't refer to my children by name on my blog, but rather refer to them as "the teen," "the preteen," and the "the kid."
___

Dear Teen:

You have never been shy about letting me know what you feel.

As a baby you only took a bottle on the 3rd try. You refused to be fed with a spoon to the point where I had to make your oatmeal super thick so that it would stick to your fingers. You insisted on dressing yourself even though putting on pantyhose is impossible for a 2-year-old. You walked out of your preschool classroom because you wanted to go to kindergarten NOW. I could go on, but you get the idea.

Last year when you became a teen, I was secretly worried. You have always been so determined to do what you wanted to do. What would you be like as a teen I wondered?
You emerged in to your teen years as a young lady full of dreams and ambitions for the future. Gone was the petulant and pouty tween. In her place, I found a young woman who was able to have a discussion about an issue even if the outcome was not what you wanted.

You have always done well in school with prodding from us. This past year you have taken the helm with school projects. On a number of occasions you have reminded me of homework assignments!

I am excited about what the future holds for you!

Love, Mommy
___

Dear Preteen:

When you were an infant, I recall that you would scream and fuss at bedtime. I geared up for a battle of wills at bedtime. I fed you and changed you and rocked you -- all to no avail. One night it occurred to me to put you in your crib. I stood beside your crib amazed that you fell fast asleep. What?? You let me know in a nonverbal way that you needed an early bedtime. The early bedtime is just one of the gifts you have given this family.

Your sense of humor is a true joy to me. As a child I was a joker...ask Grandma and Grandad! You and I have fun reciting lines from The Simpson's Movie and Shrek while your Dad, sister, and brother stand by bemused. I know, I know...I laugh at the lines far longer than you do.

As the younger sister to one and the older to another, you have much responsibility. Your older sister can be stand-offish with you or she can be your best buddy -- what can I say, she has an independent streak. Your little brother looks up to you, which I know is both charming and annoying. You handle both of your siblings with grace.

I am thrilled that you have found two sports that you love dearly. While I may not know what a libero does or what your time is in the breaststroke...I love cheering for you on the sidelines or poolside.

I will hang on for the ride to see where life takes you.

Love, Mommy
___

Dear Kid:

You are a bundle of joy wrapped up in a little boy package. You cuddle up for a bear hug or headbutt me -- I never know which one I will get! You love your dad and would rather hang out with him. But, from the moment we brought you home from the hospital you have always been my little buddy.

As the only little boy in the family, you are relentless at trying to convert your sisters to the world of Cars and Thomas and Geotrax and Iron Man. You haven't changed their minds yet, but you never stop trying.

I love that you adore school. From the moment I picked up a book to read to you, your eyes sparkled. Books hold your attention. You love being read to...when persuaded you will read to one of us. I love it when your preteen sister comes in to the room to listen to the Junie B. Jones books Daddy is reading to you. We are a book family!

I am excited to see where life will take you.

Love, Mommy

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 3:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Holidays, Mother's Day letters
        

With another big crib recall last week, new and expecting moms must be wondering -- how in the world do I buy and put together a crib that keeps my baby safe?

For today's Monday Consult, I'm going to pass along some crib tips from the On Safety blog of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. (Read the full post here.)

--The CPSC is developing new crib safety guidelines, in part to deal with increasing problems with drop-side cribs. The agency doesn't say there are problems with all such cribs, but writes: "In general, cribs with drop sides have a tendency to be less structurally sound than cribs with fixed sides and are more susceptible to problems from use, being moved, storage and assembly."

--Before you do use or buy a crib, check the agency's recall list.

--Make sure that you check that all hardware is tight and secure and that a drop side is on its track.

--Don't try to repair a broken crib yourself. Stop using the crib and call the manufacturer and the CPSC, the blog advises. If the baby is less than 6 months old, she can sleep in a bassinet; older babies can sleep in an approved play yard.

--"Every time you change the sheets, make sure there are no gaps larger than two fingers between the sides of the crib and the mattress," the blog says.

--No matter what kind of crib your baby is sleeping in, keep out extra bedding such as pillows, thick quilts, or anything plush. All are suffocation risks, the blog says.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: The Monday Consult