Kids in the city -- stay or move?
I'm spending some spring break time this week with my kids this week, so Kayris Wall of The Great Walls of Baltimore, a frequent commenter here, graciously helped me out with this thought-provoking guest post on living in the city with her family.
For more on the subject, check out this story I wrote on downtown families several years ago.
Here's Kayris:
Nearly ten years ago, my husband bought a house in the city. Two years later, when we got married, I moved in, and we've been here ever since. When we announced we were having a baby, it didn't take long for people to ask, "When are you moving?"
Many of our former neighbors bolted for the burbs when kids started to come along. We stayed.
Baby number one was easy. Our spare room became the nursery. City living provided ample opportunity for afternoon walks along the water, and we made sure to buy a stroller with plenty of basket room for groceries. With the bank, pediatrician, library and numerous restaurants within walking distance, it was easy to get my stuff done without having to get in the car.
A couple of years later, another baby came along and people asked, "Are you going to move now?" ....
And still, we stayed. It was a bit of a squash, but the nursery became the kids room. Living in a rowhome means we don't have things that other people take for granted. Like closets. It means I'm constantly purging stuff, rearranging toys, trying to come up with creative storage solutions for our ever changing needs. It means bedtime is quite often a disaster because two kids and one room don't mix. We're lucky enough to have two bathrooms, but I often wonder what families with only one do with more than one kid in the house.
Raising kids in the city certainly is different than raising kids in the burbs, but I don't feel like mine are missing out on anything. We know all our neighbors, something people in subdivisions can't always say. My kids can't take off with their friends for hours at a time like I did as a child, but the city's parks and museums always provide us with something to do. Our lack of space has really helped us keep our possessions to a minimum and seriously consider if we need something before we buy it. And I'm fond of saying that raising kids in the city makes for good sleepers. Both kids sleep through an appalling amount of noise, be it a loud party next door, early morning engines, or the occasional fire engine screaming down the street.
Still, sometimes we talk about moving out of the city. Wouldn't it be nice for the kids to have their own bedrooms? How great would it be to be able to park in our driveway instead of three blocks away? We could grow all our own produce and leave the lid off the trashcans without worrying about cat-sized rats getting into it. Our children could run barefoot without the fear of broken glass, and I'd no longer have to hear my neighbor sneeze in the middle of the night when the windows are open.
First, the housing bubble popped. Then our oldest child started preschool and we didn't want to move in the middle of the school year. He starts kindergarten this fall and the younger child is in preschool. At this point, there are few easy ways to do it. I used to be anxious to move. Now I don't really want to, because the city girl in me is willing to put up with crappy parking to stay in a community that has made being a family so enjoyable.
City residents--What are your challenges to family life, and do you ever plan to move?
Comments
As someone in their late 20's who grew up in Baltimore City, I commend all families willing to stay. There are a lot of great things about raising kids in the city. In addition to the diversity and other great things you'll find it's nice as they get older that they can do things without you having to drive them everywhere.
Posted by: Meghan | March 29, 2010 12:50 PM
Being a 20-something who has just moved to the city, I wonder what I'll do if I decide to have kids. I've been hearing increasingly good news about charter schools in the city, so I know that there are options available. There are some really huge row-houses in Baltimore, so don't feel like your house itself is a big constraint!
Posted by: Brent | March 29, 2010 2:59 PM
It's a complicated issue. My husband and I used to live in a great downtown rowhouse community for nearly 10 years. We moved before we had kids, after much consternation. Really, we would have preferred to stay in the city. There were just a couple things that could have made it doable. But we found that we could no longer afford the property taxes on a comparable property within the city limits. We ended up moving just over the line (We're literally 50 feet outside the city limits). I would never live in a subdivision, and the lovely old neighborhood we are in is not that different from the one I moved from. There are block parties, people know and socialize and help each other. The biggest change is we have a garage, driveway and a garden. So, I'd like to at least try to put to rest the myth/assumption that every family that leaves the city is looking to live in a generic suburban development in some kind of McMansion. We never would live somewhere like that and have found that there are terrific established areas that have a lot of the benefits of the city, without the financial burdens.
Posted by: Debra | March 29, 2010 3:27 PM
It's a moot point really, at least today. Years ago, a move from the city meant drastic changes in housing, community, schools, shopping, etc. Not so much today. Many of the changes will simply be trade-offs. Don't be quick to consider the 'burbs unless you're considering a very long distance move. Most urban problems are now in full bloom outside those city lines.
Posted by: ruth | March 29, 2010 3:45 PM
Thanks everyone for your comments. It's a difficult choice to make because we love our street and our neighbors and our kids' preschool. But we need more space and at some point the kids won't be able to share a room anymore since we have one of each gender. And city taxes make it pretty much impossible to afford a larger house in the city. So I'm pleased to hear from Debra that there are affordable options outside of the city that still feel like home.
Posted by: Kayris | March 29, 2010 5:13 PM
I have to say that while I do't live in Baltimore, I do live in Big City life. I live in the San Francisco maze of a Bay and I have two boys. I watch tv sometimes and I see farms, or perfect lawns for kids to play in fro hours and there are moments where I am willing to run and find that for my little family. However, there is something magical about raising your kids in City life. My kids know how to ride a BART or Muni. My kids understand one way roads, fog horns and how to not stare at the beggers on the street. My kids see life all around them in diverse and energentic motion. And it is second nature to them. I think it brings them confidence. I think it bring them imagination and inspiration. Yes, we use white noise to drown out the helicopters and city noise. Yes, we rejoice over a parking place close to home.. but I am glad the kids know this life early.
Posted by: ZenJen | March 29, 2010 9:08 PM
For me it was ultimately about safety. After being mugged at gunpoint just a couple of blocks from my house. And then my immedate next door neighbor was beaten nearly to death in a home invasion/robbery. I just couldn't feel safe. I know there is crime in the county, but SO much less. My husband put his foot down and we moved to the burbs. While I definitely miss some of the conveniences of city life, I am just as happy here.
Posted by: Cara | March 30, 2010 12:54 AM
Cara It's very unfortunate that you had these horrible things happen to you. I only wish you had a better experience.
On that note. I was born and raise and now raising my family in Highlandtown. I have seen it's ups and downs and right now it is in-between. LIke many cities you have your bad blocks and good blocks. I do feel guilty that my daughter can't just go out front and play with the neighborhood kids, but it's just more effort on my part to get her involved in other activities where there is a great mix of city kids and county kids.
I don't plan on moving out of the city. We only have our daughter (don't plan on anymore) so space is not the issue. It's whether I see that "up" again.
I just love the fact that Patterson Park is in my backyard and I really don't need a car too do many things. The snow did not pose an issue for me since my job, my husband's job and my daughter's daycare are all within reasonable walking distance.
I just love it here and I hope I don't get pushed out.
Posted by: tracie | March 30, 2010 8:17 AM
FYI guys, as someone who lived in Patterson Park for years and now lives in the suburbs, you really CAN get to know your neighbors in the burbs as well. We live in a subdivision and we know everyone; have block parties, progressive dinners, etc. My kiddo can play outside in the cul de sac with our neighbors kids. I thought the same thing when I lived in the city- that I would lose that immediacy and comfort of a community but that's not always the case. City or suburbs or country; the bottom line is you need to spend a lot of time checking out a place before you commit. There are ups and downs to all areas and living situations!
Posted by: sdr | March 31, 2010 4:30 PM