How to get kids to do their chores
The Monday Consult is back! Tigress asked:
How do you make sure kids are helping around the house doing age appropriate chores? What's reasonable? Kiddo is quick to tell me what others do or don't do. I respond "they don't have the privilege to live under this roof," but I really do wonder.
I asked Dianne DeSantis to think about this one. She is a parent coach who runs parenting classes for MindCare in Baltimore:
"Basically parents should differentiate between chores and responsibilities.
"Chores are tasks that children do like a job in order to earn additional privileges (i.e. allowance, special outings, etc.).
"Responsibilities are the tasks required to be done as part of caring for their own things and living as a member in the household. Everyone has responsibilities as a family and home member.
"Families need to determine what is fair and reasonable for each family by way of discussion. Discussion of each person's expectations is imperative in any family. Everyone needs to understand all the factors and then divide up appropriately.
"As far as making children be more responsible (never have a problem with chores as described above), parents need to learn how to inform and implement. What this means is that children have privileges as a result of being responsible. Children must lose privileges when they are not responsible. Parents must be consistent with implementation or else they are teaching confusing lessons about how to be responsible and about how natural consequences occur as a result of irresponsible behavior."
Comments
It all starts with picking up THEIR toys which starts when they are able to get their toys from wherever they get kept (about 3) and should be a consistent time of day eg: before dinner.
Don't set them up for failure though by not having a place that EVERY toy can neatly go (which can just as easily be an old laundry basket as an OC organized shelf). Just sayin'...
Reinforcement: Empty box labled "Toys for Poor Kids" which they can be encouraged to donate to as they outgrow something but the main purpose being where Mom or Dad will put what doesn't get picked up by them when told to.
Posted by: MrRational | January 11, 2010 6:22 PM