I can speak as a mother of 13, 11 and 9 year olds (all boys). When officially babysitting for us, I have chosen events in which I will pay my 13 year old and events in which I will not pay him. My determination for payment is as follows:

First of all, your 8 year old is legally allowed to stay alone (Maryland is one of the few states that has laws on the books regarding ages that children are allowed to stay alone). Although I am not comfortable doing this for a long period of time, I do not use quick trips to the grocery store leaving my 13 year old in charge as official “babysitting” and it does not constitute payment in our family.

However, when my husband and I go out on a date at night, I do pay my 13 year old. I do not pay the $10-$12 per hour that my college sitters usually earn through their jobs with Sitters Connect because he is NOT a college student. I usually pay him $5 per hour or I barter a special piece of clothing from a name brand store or skate/soccer equipment. This agreement was not written in stone or documented for our son’s sake, but it has worked well in our family. I know several families whose 13 year olds do cook for their families when the parents are out, but I am not comfortable with that in our family. My son is limited to microwave popcorn and scooping ice cream.

I highly recommend that you send your son to a babysitting class. The American Red Cross and St. Agnes Hospital both have classes that go over emergency procedures, questions to ask parents in regards to special needs, etc. Some classes even teach Infant/Child CPR. These classes often give young adults/early teens the confidence they need to sit for friends, neighbors and family. Remember, every child and their maturity level is different; there are some 13 year olds who are not mature enough to watch themselves, much less a younger sibling...