Should 12-year-olds have cell phones?
MGB asked:
My fifth grader is heading to middle school in the Fall and right now all of the 5th grade parents are discussing this question among themselves: How do I know if my 12 year old needs/is ready for a cell phone?
I asked Bonnie Compton, a parenting coach and therapist in Ellicott City who last advised us on troublesome relatives, her opinion. She said that it depends on the child -- and the parents.
"Take a look at why the child wants a cell phone," she told me. "Is it purely peer pressure? Do the parents think it's necessary or would be beneficial to have one?" For example, if the child is regularly walking home, or needs to be picked up from an after school activity and can't get into the office, a cell phone might be a good idea, Compton said.
Parents should also think about the cons of giving a middle-schooler a cell phone; namely, that it's not easy to monitor whom they're talking to or what's being said. There's also the texting issue, which has gotten lots of kids in trouble -- and occasionally presents parents with an unpleasantly huge cell phone bill.
That's why Compton advises that parents spend time asking lots of questions of a cell-phone provider about the controls it offers. Some plans will restrict calls to certain numbers. Some have built-in GPS systems, which parents tend to like but kids don't. And make sure the child understands and abides by his school rules on cell phones.
The bottom line? "Determine whether it is a need or a want the child has, and then set boundaries," Compton said. If those are not followed, the child loses the privilege of using a cell phone.
What's been your experience with this, middle-school parents?









Comments
I purchased a "house cell" phone for my daughters to use when they were 10-13. They would bring it to school, then to any afternoon activities, and when they got home, the cell phone was returned into a kitchen cabinet. On weekends, we allowed them to bring to to friends homes. However, whenever our children were home, the cell phone always stayed in the cabinet OFF. We did this until they reached High School. It worked really well.
Posted by: JimSilver | May 4, 2009 9:30 AM
We got our son a cell phone when he was in the 5th grade. It was only $10 a month to add another phone to our plan. We did it for safety and convenience. We lived in a community with a lot of kids his age. When it was time to come home for dinner or the night it was easier to just call him rather then call the homes of all his friends. Within a few months several of our neighbors had done the same thing. This past year (he is now in 7th grade) he wanted text messaging. We told him if he paid the extra $10 a month he could have it. We have made our rules very clear and he has never abused the privilege.
Posted by: Julie | May 4, 2009 10:31 AM
I definitely think a 12 year old should have a cell phone. In fact our kids will be getting them as soon as they are old enough to be left places without adult supervision, or depending on other adults for rides places, etc. However, there will also be definite rules for use.
Posted by: Kayris | May 4, 2009 10:49 AM
The problem is with supervising the text messaging. My niece is not allowed to delete messages until she asks permission and the messages are checked. Of course she could delete the messages and I would never know, but I have convinced her otherwise.
Posted by: NotableM | May 4, 2009 8:35 PM
I live in america and I think kids above 10 years of age should have cell phones because even if they are not responsible the cell phone could give them more protection from things that happen on the streets. They could use the cell phone to call their parents if they are not by a phone so their parents won't get scared that something happened to them. All in all it would not just help them it would help their parents and people who are watching them. saftey always comes first
Posted by: alicia | May 4, 2009 10:54 PM
i think kids should have cell phones in school in my school there was a mistake that happened in the cafeteria someone sprayed pepper spray and we had to get out of the building i didn't have a cell phone too call my mom so we should have cell phones.
Posted by: Aisha Ramos | October 28, 2009 8:22 PM
I think 12 year olds should have cell phones because what if there was an emergency or wat if your child goes on the bus and somthing happened and he or she was going to come home late?? Wouldn't u worry?? Wouldn't u feel like calling your child but he or she doesn't have a cell phone?? Wat will u do?? U see my mum and dad says they have to see why but i think it doesn't matter!! Cause somthing terrible could happen at school too!!! And I strictly convince all parents to but a cell phone for your child.
-bunty- a 12 year old!!
Posted by: bunty | June 6, 2010 1:24 AM
I think 12 yrs old is perfectly fine to have a cell phone- just set limits and be sure to agree. For instance, maybe your kid can't text with his phone until a certain age or resposibility level-and you can restrict internet access too.
But if this even seems like too much leeway, maybe a cellphone isn't right. And kids should have responsibility for their cell phones. If they lose, drop, or break it, they have to deal with it.
Posted by: Rachel | August 15, 2010 8:51 PM
It's a valid question. In the area where I live, a cell phone with a built-in GPS is almost a must -- it's rather rural, and the school bus stops are a long ways from the houses. Having that extra feature give me peace-of-mind.
But texting is a tough one. NotableM has a good system going on, but I don't know that it would work for everyone -- or even most people. The only recourse is to limit texting -- get a plan where texting can be turned off after a pre-set limit is reached.
But yes, I do think a cell phone for a 12 year old is called for these days.
Posted by: Gail | August 26, 2010 7:00 AM
I've had a phone since I was....maybe 6 or 7 and my brother got one for his 6th birthday. I think kids do need mobile phones and definately once they reach 10. Especially when they walk/cycle home alone, or the bus is cancelled or if an after school activity is cancelled, when they go to friens and sleep overs!
Posted by: KT (Katie) | January 31, 2011 3:39 PM
I think that 12 year olds are capable of having cell phones. I'm twelve, but I've had mine since I was 8! And if you don't want your kids giving you a big bill for texting, then get a plan for them that has unlimited texting and/or minutes. It's that simple. Family Plans also work really well. :)crividef
Posted by: Laura | February 2, 2011 7:22 AM
I think kids 12and up should have a cell phone. Its the age where they hang out with friends sometimes in unsupervised places. what if something did happen? wouldnt you want to know where your child was? at least call them to find out whats going on?
Posted by: Ariana | April 21, 2011 10:36 PM
i dont think a 12 year old deserves a cell phone i dont think any child deserves a cell phone until the age of 18 as a mother mostly i give my child my cell phone at a certain need but other wise my child or any child does not need a cell phone. mostly though it matters the location the parent and the child
Posted by: SuperMom101 | June 24, 2011 6:08 PM
I think cellphones are a useful tool for ages 10 and up. Kids these days have the iPod touch, but why not the iPhone? They cost the same and with iOS 5, there comes free texting in iMessage where they have Wi-Fi. If they don't have Wi-Fi, get an unlimited plan at Sprint -- it won't cost any extra.
Posted by: Mom | January 2, 2012 3:52 PM