Should 12-year-olds have cell phones?
MGB asked:
My fifth grader is heading to middle school in the Fall and right now all of the 5th grade parents are discussing this question among themselves: How do I know if my 12 year old needs/is ready for a cell phone?
I asked Bonnie Compton, a parenting coach and therapist in Ellicott City who last advised us on troublesome relatives, her opinion. She said that it depends on the child -- and the parents.
"Take a look at why the child wants a cell phone," she told me. "Is it purely peer pressure? Do the parents think it's necessary or would be beneficial to have one?" For example, if the child is regularly walking home, or needs to be picked up from an after school activity and can't get into the office, a cell phone might be a good idea, Compton said.
Parents should also think about the cons of giving a middle-schooler a cell phone; namely, that it's not easy to monitor whom they're talking to or what's being said. There's also the texting issue, which has gotten lots of kids in trouble -- and occasionally presents parents with an unpleasantly huge cell phone bill.
That's why Compton advises that parents spend time asking lots of questions of a cell-phone provider about the controls it offers. Some plans will restrict calls to certain numbers. Some have built-in GPS systems, which parents tend to like but kids don't. And make sure the child understands and abides by his school rules on cell phones.
The bottom line? "Determine whether it is a need or a want the child has, and then set boundaries," Compton said. If those are not followed, the child loses the privilege of using a cell phone.
What's been your experience with this, middle-school parents?
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Comments
I purchased a "house cell" phone for my daughters to use when they were 10-13. They would bring it to school, then to any afternoon activities, and when they got home, the cell phone was returned into a kitchen cabinet. On weekends, we allowed them to bring to to friends homes. However, whenever our children were home, the cell phone always stayed in the cabinet OFF. We did this until they reached High School. It worked really well.
Posted by: JimSilver | May 4, 2009 9:30 AM
We got our son a cell phone when he was in the 5th grade. It was only $10 a month to add another phone to our plan. We did it for safety and convenience. We lived in a community with a lot of kids his age. When it was time to come home for dinner or the night it was easier to just call him rather then call the homes of all his friends. Within a few months several of our neighbors had done the same thing. This past year (he is now in 7th grade) he wanted text messaging. We told him if he paid the extra $10 a month he could have it. We have made our rules very clear and he has never abused the privilege.
Posted by: Julie | May 4, 2009 10:31 AM
I definitely think a 12 year old should have a cell phone. In fact our kids will be getting them as soon as they are old enough to be left places without adult supervision, or depending on other adults for rides places, etc. However, there will also be definite rules for use.
Posted by: Kayris | May 4, 2009 10:49 AM
The problem is with supervising the text messaging. My niece is not allowed to delete messages until she asks permission and the messages are checked. Of course she could delete the messages and I would never know, but I have convinced her otherwise.
Posted by: NotableM | May 4, 2009 8:35 PM
I live in america and I think kids above 10 years of age should have cell phones because even if they are not responsible the cell phone could give them more protection from things that happen on the streets. They could use the cell phone to call their parents if they are not by a phone so their parents won't get scared that something happened to them. All in all it would not just help them it would help their parents and people who are watching them. saftey always comes first
Posted by: alicia | May 4, 2009 10:54 PM
i think kids should have cell phones in school in my school there was a mistake that happened in the cafeteria someone sprayed pepper spray and we had to get out of the building i didn't have a cell phone too call my mom so we should have cell phones.
Posted by: Aisha Ramos | October 28, 2009 8:22 PM