Let’s face it, married life is challenging on many levels. Before kids are in the picture there are plenty of challenges, but the availability of intimate time isn’t one of them. After kids are thrown into the mix, intimacy can be downright nonexistent.

So, I thought, being a guy, I could lend some advice to those ladies out there looking for hints on how to improve the married sex lives. After talking to some other dads about the topic, I came up with a list of ideas that (I believe) will prove fruitful for you ladies to not only increase the quantity of sex in your lives but also the quality.

--No Nagging: Nothing makes a guy want to hit himself in the head with a brick more than nagging. Nagging is a serious turn off. I am not sure why, but females seemed to be genetically predisposed to being superior naggers. Perhaps there were ancient creatures that would die or run away if attacked by an adult human female wielding a whiney voice. We can only guess at this point, but what is clear is that women nag. I am not a math guy, but I would venture to guess that as nagging decreases, quality sex increases in a marriage.

--Initiate: Men aren’t machines ,and after years of marriage and children it becomes difficult for them to play the ‘game’ all the time. The game in question is the one that revolves around the unspoken tradition that the man has to initiate “business time,” otherwise nothing will happen. It is fine, say 80-85 percent of the time, for us guys to initiate things, but if the women in our lives would take over every once in a while—it would go a long way. We husbands would feel better about ourselves and this would certainly help spice up things.

--Communicate Ladies, although you may think your man is a mind reader—it simply isn’t the case. If you want us to know what you want (in the bedroom), you are going to have to tell us. If you tire of us wearing the red cape all the time—just say so. We would love to know what you are thinking, because we really have no clue. Talking can only lead to a closer connection between you and your husband and that is one thing husbands and wives both want.

--Keeping up appearances: If you want to have better sex with your husband, then it isn’t a bad idea to put your best foot forward. A lot of guys say things like, “She used to try harder to look good for me when we first got married,” or “She always looks so nice when she goes to work or out with her friends—why not when she is home with me and the kids?” Ladies, sometime your man needs to be reminded just how beautiful you are. I am not saying lingerie all the time and 10 pounds of makeup. I am talking about making an effort to look sexy for your husband every once in a while. We’ll even let this count as you initiating. It may be tough for you to part with the bummy tee-shirts and baggy sweats, but give it a try every once and a while and see where it gets you.

--Surprise: Surprise sex is great. Let’s say you surprise your spouse with sex during the day when the kids are on a play date with some friends. Actually, for that matter, it is quite likely that we forgot that sex can happen during the day or that it is possible in the first place. Your husband might be like, “Wait, it's day time…can we even do this?” So, just scheduling a daytime encounter with your husband one weekend would pretty much make you the most amazing person ever. Why not try it?

--Promises: If you talk about/schedule/hint/think about having sex one morning or afternoon just keep this in mind—we heard that. Your husband is about 1 million times more likely to remember what you say about sex then just about anything else. Furthermore, your husband is about 4 billion more times likely to remember what you talked about earlier in the day regarding sex then something you were nagging him about 5 seconds ago. We remember. You forget. If we need remind you what we had talked about earlier in the day, the sex has already begun to suffer.

--Preparation Another key component of the married sex game is the rite of passage I would like to call “tucking them in.” If you are truly serious about having sex—put your kids to bed. Don’t make your husband do it the night you want to get busy. It is kinda like telling him he can watch 10 more minutes of ESPN—not soon forgotten. This will pay off later. Also, when you are starting to get things started in the bedroom—lock the door. This is another one of those tasks that us guys generally have to do, and by us not having to do this simple mundane task we are interpreting that you are either: A) really into us (which is awesome on its own) B) really turned on (which is really, really awesome) Or C) both (which is incomprehensible).

--Fun Sex is not work, it is fun. If you treat the act as an obligatory gesture, your husband can tell -- and this will lead to a lower self image for your husband and friction in your marriage. Have fun; enjoy yourself.

I hope you find the list to be both reasonable and helpful. Is there anything I left off? Is there anything that doesn’t belong? I want to hear what you think. Let’s get the conversation going.