Sports and camp: how to choose
It’s already time to think about spring sports and summer camp. Which brings up the question of how much say tweens should have in the matter. I’ve adhered to the rule that once they start an activity, such as joining a sports team, they must stick with it for the season. “You’ve made a commitment,” I say. “People are counting on you.”
Sometimes that’s made for some less than enthusiastic play. When my tween was younger, he discovered early in the season he hated soccer. That meant I watched a good many games in which he walked around the field or stood in place while the ball passed by him.
Other parents have a different philosophy. Rather than forcing a child to do an activity he or she hates, it’s better to let him or her quit, they say.
Now that it’s time to sign up for spring sports and summer camp, I’m asking the kids what they want to do, but the truth is they don’t always know. Several times I’ve had the experience where they say in February they don’t want to play baseball, and then in April, when their friends are playing, they are sorry they didn’t sign up.
Last summer, my older son was furious when I signed him up for art camp. He thought he would be bored. But he loved it and can’t wait to go back. Last year, he was on the verge of quitting band; this year, he made the county honors band and says he intends to play through high school or even college.
So what do you do when it comes to enrolling the kids in extracurricular activities? Do you let them decide? Do you sign them up even if they don’t want to do it? Do you let them quit if they don’t like it?
(AP Photo/Jessica Hill)
Comments
Seeing something through is an excellent life-lesson to learn early on. It makes for an adult whose word can be trusted, even when things get tough. Or boring. Or there are no friends there.
Posted by: Eve | January 27, 2009 2:28 PM
Do you sign them up even if they don’t want to do it?
When my now grown son was in 8th grade, I insisted against all arguments that he enroll in HS band for 9th grade. I assured him that it would enrich his life.
Just so you know: An adolescent who is determined not to have his life enriched can win that battle!
Posted by: Eve | January 27, 2009 2:33 PM
When my tween was younger, he discovered early in the season he hated soccer.
You've raised a smart son there, Kate.
When the kid was in first grade we made him take piano lessons for a year. We told him that he needed to try it before he made a judgement about it and that after one year of lessons, he could decide whether to continue and we would honor his decision.
It was the longest year of my life.
We decided then that anything "extracurricular" in nature was solely up to him. He's now a happy, productive adult who has never been arrested, makes an annual contribution to his IRA and shovels his walks every time it snows.
(He's also a 4-handicap; on his own he found ways to fill his free time.)
Actually, it's Tween Tuesday specialist Liz Atwood who raised a smart son and wrote that post. I realized later that because I helped realign the picture, the post came over under my name. My son? Still only 5, so the jury's out. But he's looking good so far. Kate
Posted by: Bucky | January 28, 2009 9:12 AM