Yesterday, Sasha and Malia Obama started their new school. Seven-year-old Sasha enrolled in second grade at Sidwell Friends school in Bethesda and 10-year-old Malia joined the fifth grade class at Sidwell’s middle school campus in the District of Columbia. And while they are the daughters of the man who will soon be president, the sisters are still kids who must face the task of fitting in and making new friends.

Coincidentally, American Girl has just introduced Chrissa, its "Girl of the Year" for 2009, who is described as “a friendly, creative girl who finds the courage to stand up for herself...” According to her story, her family moves to a new town and Chrissa wants to make a new friend, but she encounters “a mean group of girls that make it hard for her to fit in.”

In real life, children aren’t always courageous and the endings aren’t always happy. As a parent, it’s often hard to watch on the sidelines as our tweens negotiate the shoals of friendship. The peer pressure they face can be intense, but even the president of the United States won’t be able to “fix” all the friend problems his girls will probably encounter in the years ahead.

In the case of my boys, I have reluctantly intervened when I thought spats with friends might lead to blows, but I know the emotional damage can be just as hurtful as physical damage when kids turn against each other.

Do you have any guidelines for how and when to intervene when your kids have friend troubles? How do you walk the line between being supportive and helpful and yet letting the kids work things out themselves?

(Photo by Baltimore Sun photographer Elizabeth Malby)