Father's Day Friday: Sex after baby
Did that get your attention? In lieu of a Guest Dad today, I bring you an interview from Paul Nyhan of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, who writes the Working Dad blog for that newspaper's web site. He talks to Heidi Raykeil, author of a new book on the sex lives of parents, about how dads can help solve the delicate problem of how children tend to cool off the za-za-zoo.
My favorite quote from Raykeil re: dads: "My question to you guys is, 'How are you initiating?' Saying it has been six days, two hours and 30 minutes since we last had sex is not the right way to initiate sex. So it doesn't turn into fighting about not having sex -- because that doesn't make us hot.' "
Thoughts?
Comments
I agree with what he said about talking about it. If both partners keep quiet, and if both partners have different expectations, you're not going to get anywhere. This topic comes up from time to time with friends and the most common scenario is the man lying in bed thinking, "Am I going to get shot down again if I ask for sex?" and the woman lying there thinking, "Oh God, please don't let him ask for sex." So a little communication about what's reasonable could go a long way.
Posted by: Kayris | January 9, 2009 11:20 AM
Did you notice the order of the headlines in the Blog Updates section of the online Sun? The headline captioned "Sex After Baby" is followed by a headline captioned "Surely You Jest" (from John McIntyre's blog and having nothing to do with the topic here). Hilarious!
That is too funny!
Posted by: Loved the headlines | January 9, 2009 11:21 AM
Hey Kate, thanks for checking out the story. What I found interesting was how important it is for both mom and dad to talk about it, but also think before they talk. Many dads who want to talk with their wives about working on their sex lives are trying to help their marriage, the books suggests, but maybe don't express it in the best way.
Posted by: Working Dad | January 12, 2009 1:06 PM