When dad's in charge...
Today's Guest Dad is Steve Sullivan, assistant managing editor for multimedia at The Sun, with a tale of how he solves problems among his kids while his wife's on the road.
"Let me preface this post by saying that my wife, Marcy, and I have three wonderful, smart kids who regardless of what they say and do really love each other. Most of the time. I think.
A few weeks ago Marcy was on a week-long business trip and I was in charge of our brood, which consists of our 17-year-old son Courtland and his two sisters, Flannery, 13, and Moira, 10. When I arrived home from work, I was pleased to find the girls peacefully sitting in the family room doing their homework, while big brother was doing same upstairs. I asked how their days went and was answered with a nonchalant "good" from all.
Soon there was a call from mom, checking in from the road. She talked to the girls, then the phone was passed to me. We traded a few updates on our day, then Marcy slipped in, "Did Flannery mention that Mo threatened her with a knife?"
"Uh, no"....
"Maybe you should talk to them about it."
"Uh, yeah."
And that I did. First off, I asked Flannery why she didn't bother to say anything about this to me. She shrugged and told me it wasn't a big deal. Oh, yeah. Having a knife pulled on you is never a big deal.
Next, I interrogated Moira. "Did you pull a knife on your sister?"
There was no hesitation in her answer. She admitted it, but chalked it up to frustration over some petty argument. She said she went into the kitchen and pulled out the equivalent of a butter knife, brandished it a few seconds, then calmed down.
I explained to both that there are other - MANY OTHER - ways to settle arguments than using knives. Both acknowledged my wisdom and quickly returned to their homework, likely figuring out what other items in their arsenals they would use next.
Next it was time to check in with the boy. His day had been "good," too. Then he asked if he could sign up for "agility classes." I asked what they were, and he explained that a friend had taken a series of lessons, the result of which was that he could run faster. I said that if he wants to run faster, he should simply start by going out and doing some jogging.
Courtland said that wouldn't work, because he wouldn't have the motivation to do it by himself. He said he needs someone to push him, give him a reason to run. That's when the lightbulb clicked on over my head. "What if we get Moira to chase you with a knife?"
My perspective - I'd found a creative way to channel Mo's rage, help Courtland run faster and save us $100 per session in agility classes. Marcy's perspective - maybe it was time to stop traveling so much."
Hmm. Your thoughts?
Comments
Clearly, having a sense of humor is perhaps the best tool in your arsenal. :)
Posted by: leeann | July 1, 2008 11:52 AM
I dunno, maybe I'm old school, but I hafta really respect my grandmother's approach to settling sibling disputes. On kitchen knives - she did the exact opposite. She actually dragged the dueling kids to the kitchen and handed them knives, saying "Here! you wanna kill each other? Go ahead! Do it! Otherwise knock it off, you knuckleheads." My relatives got the drift pretty quickly and almost always sulked away.
So there you go - foster more knife fights, not less! ;)
Posted by: Pete | July 1, 2008 12:04 PM
Pete, these days the kids might take someone up on the invitation to battle it out with knives. There's been some seismic shift, I'm afraid.
Posted by: Dahlink | July 2, 2008 10:55 AM