"Change can be difficult for many people children and adults alike.  Here are some questions to ask yourself as you as you try to work through this issue.

Am I moving slowly enough?  Children’s brains do not process information as quickly as adult brains and adults often expect a faster response than is appropriate when they give a child a direction.  Try waiting for two or three beats longer than you think you should when you ask your daughter to do something. A five minute warning is a good way of preparing your child that a change will take place, but avoid using a count down. Repetition may raise her anxiety level.  
 
Does my child have enough control in the transition? It might be helpful let your daughter in on the plans.  Talk about what’s going to happen before the transition takes place.  For example, in the car on the way to preschool, tell your daughter, “When we get to school, you’ll hang your coat in your cubby, we will read one story, I’ll give you a goodbye kiss on both cheeks and then I’m going to leave for work.  What story would you like to read?” Repeat the process every day so that it becomes a routine.  Continue with the planning by letting her know what the whole day will look like.
If your daughter balks, don’t give in and read two or three stories.  Rather, be firm but calm.  
 
Do I let my child know I understand how she feels?  Validate your daughter’s feelings. You might say, “It’s hard to leave when you are having so much fun, isn’t it?” But stay firm and if she resists, give her a choice where all the options are acceptable to you.  You might say, “It is time to leave now. You can walk to the car or I can carry you.  I’m sorry you are sad, but it’s time to go.” Your tone should be firm but calm and then follow through, even if she makes a scene.
 
Can your child trust you?  Most of the suggestions above are techniques that lead to the development of trust.  Don’t ever threaten to leave your child if she doesn’t come with you. Trust is mightily important in the parent child relationship, and if your daughter is feeling insecure or frightened that she will be abandoned, it can exacerbate the problem.  Avoid that technique altogether.  Rather, give her something to look forward to, special time with you, the love of her life. You might say, 'When we get all buckled up in your car seat, we can sing a song together as we ride.  Which song do you want to sing today?'

With a little time, patience, and consistency, these simple techniques are usually successful."

What's worked for you?