This sounds like fun for young baseball fans who don't have school and are free around lunchtime tomorrow:

The ESPN Zone, 601 E. Pratt St. will host a question-and-answer session with left-handed pitcher Garrett Olson noon-1 p.m. (Doors open at 11:30 a.m., according to the web site.) He will sign autographs after the session. 

Visit espnzone.com/baltimore. Free.

(Photo by Nick Wass, Associated Press)

I was distracted by attending the infamous play today (I'll report on that later) and assorted other tasks, so I find my mind completely empty as I contemplate the looming Tip Sheet for this week. Parents, please fill the void, quickly!

What are your ideas for our next tip sheet?

 

My baby turned 5 the other day. And the cake I made him, part of a cookbook review you'll see in the Taste section in a few weeks, is one every parent should have in his or her repertoire.

It's from Warren Brown's new Cakelove cookbook, named after the well-known D.C.-area bakery that opened a branch in Baltimore this year.

Many of the recipes require some special ingredients and a bit of skill, but not this No-Mixer cake. You pour the wet ingredients into a plastic container with a tight-fitting lid and shake, which would be a fun project for kids. And the cake is moist and fabulous -- well worth the calories.

It was ironic that I made this no-mixer cake, because...

(Photos by me)

as I was making the Chocolate Buttercream frosting to go with it, which does require a mixer and a fair amount of kitchen know-how, my old faithful hand mixer up and died on me.

I had a pound -- no lie -- of chilled butter cut into tablespoons waiting to be mixed into the frosting, and about 45 minutes until school pickup.

But moms are survivors, so I whipped all 32 tablespoons into that frosting by hand, nearly breaking my arm in the process. And then, after blowing out the candle later, Sam wanted a six-month-old piece of Halloween candy (we've got to throw those out) instead of a piece of cake.

So I thought I would at least treat myself to two pictures.

No-Mixer Vanilla Cake

Serves 14 to 16

1 1/3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups extra-fine granulated sugar

3/4 cup confectioners' sugar

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 sticks melted unsalted butter

1 cup whole milk

1 tablespoon heavy cream

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 large eggs

1 large egg yolk

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Set rack in the middle of the oven. Sift the flour into a bowl for accurate measurement and whisk in the other dry ingredients to combine.

Measure the liquid ingredients into a plastic container with a lid. Seal it and shake well. Whisk the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients, combining thoroughly.

Prepare two 9-inch round cake pans. Line the bottom of each pan with parchment paper, but do not spray the sides. (I lightly buttered the parchment on the side that would face the batter.) Equally divide the batter between the prepared pans and bake for 25 minutes. Remove the pans from the oven when the cake is golden brown and a wooden skewer poked in the center comes out clean.

Cool thoroughly on a heat-resistant surface. Run a thick metal spatula around the rim of the pan to release the cake, and invert onto a plate. Frost as you like, or serve with a dusting of powdered sugar.

--From "Cakelove" by Warren Brown

Per serving (based on 16 servings, without frosting): 238 calories, 3 grams protein, 11 grams fat, 6 grams saturated fat, 33 grams carbohydrate, trace fiber, 91 milligrams cholesterol, 167 milligrams sodium. Analysis by registered dietitian Jodie Shield.

Ladies and gentleman, please welcome today's Guest Dad: Hulk Hogan! OK, he's not exactly our guest, at least not in the flesh. But I wanted to pass along the advice the wrestling star reportedly gave Laila Ali, his pregnant co-host on American Gladiators.

According to E! Online, Ali says Hogan told her, in essence: "Just teach them the right things, lead them the right way and then you have to give them the space to do their own thing.”

Unfortunately, Hogan's 17-year-old son was just sentenced to eight months in jail for his role in an accident that left a good friend critically injured. And his 20-year-old daughter was in an accident over the weekend (she wasn't hurt, and reports indicate she wasn't at fault.)

Things must have seemed a lot easier when they were babies.

What do you think of Hogan's advice?

Happy Memorial Day. The Monday Consult is here, even on a holiday.

I got an e-mail with these tips last week from the Family Tree, the Baltimore nonprofit that works to prevent child abuse. They seemed particularly timely in light of the recent case of a 16-year-old Riderwood teen who is accused of killing his mother. According to police, they had argued over his performance in school.

And now the school year is ending, which means final grades are coming out. To avoid ugly confrontations over school, the Family Tree says to follow these guidelines:

• Listen when your teen wants to talk. Help them think through situations and come up with their own solutions.

• No matter what the issue, take a moment to calm down and communicate clearly.

• Be willing to compromise.

• Choose your words carefully to maintain their self esteem.

• Be realistic about your teen’s capabilities.

• Leave the past behind, and deal with the situation in front of you.

• Be aware of any changes in your teen’s life – new friends, change in school performance, or a change in sleep patterns.

• Assert authority in dangerous situations.

• Plan regular meals with your teen – it is a great way to understand what is going on in his or her life.

How do you handle report-card disappointments?

I posted the other day on the question of whether our kids, in addition to being overscheduled, are over-supervised -- so carefully monitored by pedophile/big dog/bolt-of-lightning-fearing parents that they never learn how to navigate situations on their own.

Today, I'll follow up with the web site of the woman who started this latest debate, Lenore Skenazy. She got plenty of heat recently -- but also quite a bit of support -- after she reported that she left her 9-year-old son alone to find his way from Bloomingdale's to their Manhattan home. He had "a subway map, a MetroCard, a $20 bill, and several quarters," she writes, but no adult, kid, or even cell phone with him. And he made it home fine.

She's got other things to say, about letting kids ride skateboards and eat snow.

I'd love to hear what you think about her philosophy.

Here are a few non-barbecue ideas for Memorial Day if you're sticking around here:

 --Watch the dreaded Yankees play the Orioles at Camden Yards.

--Visit Fort McHenry, which will hold observances throughout the day, including wreath-layings and a flag demonstration involving veterans at noon.

--Tell your kids great, happy stories about a relative they never got to know, and point out that you'll always remember that person.

--Take in Westminster's Memorial Day parade, starting at 10 a.m. along Main Street.

--Get thee to D.C. for a day trip. Here's our recent story on some of the newest museums, which look to be open on Memorial Day.

What are your plans?

(Photo of 2007 Memorial Day events courtesy of Fort McHenry)

This ABC news piece brings some discouraging news for expecting parents: Just 16 percent of employers offer fully paid, six-week maternity leaves, according to a study by the Families and Work Institute -- compared to 27 percent a decade ago.

The study also found that despite technological advances that might make more working from home and job-sharing possible, employers aren't offering more of those options. One upside: employers are becoming more accommodating to mothers who need private spaces to breastfeed (or pump, I gather).

As our economic picture gets bleaker, I imagine it will be harder for some employees to feel they can leave their jobs for long to have a baby or care for a family member. In retrospect, I feel supremely lucky to have been able to take 6 months or so with each child. Yet I would love to have been able to take more time.

How much time did you take for your maternity leaves?

Here's something else that might be fun if you're in town this weekend, again courtesy of Jennifer Choi:

Port Discovery Children’s Museum is launching Robots: The Interactive Exhibition, part of a national tour inspired by the animated film Robots.

Visitors can see how robotic arms and industrial robots function, take a ride on the Crosstown Express, which provides a journey into the world of robotic vehicles, and visit the "Movie Star Robots Hall of Fame," which has a montage of movie and television bots from different eras.

Adults and children can also build or color their own virtual robots in the Robots Explorers and Paint-A-Bot stations. (But will the robots then come home and do my dishes?)

The exhibit is open 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Tuesdays-Fridays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturdays and noon-5 p.m. Sundays through Sept. 8. Admission is $11.75 and free for children younger than 2.

(Photo courtesy of Port Discovery)

Well, dear readers, I can see there's an overwhelming sentiment that I should watch my son's short star turn at preschool.

In case the drama of some other election has distracted you from learning the results of our first Guilty-Mom poll, the yeses had it by two to one. Even my boss agreed with the majority, which helps.

Thanks to all who voted. Extra thanks to those who told me not to feel bad if I didn't go.

Truth be told, I think I decided I would get there somehow as soon as the first couple of yes votes rolled in. Mom guilt -- and its nicer twin, mom love -- are powerful things.

But here's the thing that bears further discussion, I think. Consider:

 

Over the next two weeks I'm now scheduled to attend the play, a dance performance, and an end-of-school picnic during "working hours." I will also be leaving work to ferry my first-grader to her after-school child-care arrangement every day one week because her school has scheduled a week of half days.  On another day or two, I'll be home with my son when his school is closed.

I didn't tell you that before I knew about my son's play, I was asked to chaperone my daughter's field trip, which is happening at the same time as the play. If I had accepted, I couldn't have gone to the play. So this isn't just a problem for working moms, but for all moms with more than one child.

How do you handle times like these?

 

Here's a list of places some of our readers like to take their families on hikes. Special thanks to Christine, who not only suggested the topic but sent me a long list of spots.

Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, and I'm hoping parents who have actually hiked these trails will post reviews of which are the best and which weren't so successful for a particular age group.

(Photo of Cylburn Arboretum by Sun photographer Kim Hairston)

Eden Mill Nature Center - Pylesville. It's a hike (sorry, bad pun) for some, but this Harford County nature center looks promising, with downloadable trail maps on its Web site. The site says an open house is scheduled there from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. June 7, rain or shine, so that might be a good time to check it out. 

Oregon Ridge Park, Cockeysville. This got several favorable mentions from readers. Laura says the hike around the lake is easy enough for kids under 5. You can also check out a report on the hiking there from Kid Baltimore. There's also a good playground there.

Gunpowder Falls State Park. This 18,000-acre park in Baltimore and Harford counties has many trails, including the Torrey C. Brown rail trail (aka the NCR trail, perfect for walking or biking.)

Cromwell Valley Park, Baltimore County. This 380-acre park has a number of nature trails less than a mile long, according to its web site.

Cylburn Arboretum, Baltimore City. Wildflower varieties are marked along the 2 1/2 miles of trails, according to the Web site. 

Soldier's Delight, Owings Mills. According to the web site, you might be able to spot songbird nesting boxes along the trails.

Marshy Point Nature Center, . The ice cream social this evening would be a nice opportunity to get to know this nature center on the bay. And if the weather is too nasty for hiking, there's a family movie night the first Friday of each month, says the web site.

Trolley Trail No. 9 between Catonsville and Ellicott City. This trail, just over a mile, begins at the end of Edmondson Avenue and winds through Oella to downtown Ellicott City. A side trail takes you to the Banneker Historical Park and Museum.

What's your favorite?

Looks like there's lots of fun to be had the rest of this week, whether it's indoors or outdoors. If you have an event to add, post it in the comments. If it's for a future week, please e-mail details to Jennifer Choi.

Any ideas for Memorial Day itself? I'll chime in with some tomorrow and/or over the weekend.

Thursday (May 22):

Head StART in ART: Children 3-5 present a performance at 11 a.m. to display what they've learned from native Ghanaians Kofi Dennis (pictured) and Kwame Ansah-Brew, otherwise known as Anansegromma. The duo began an artist residency with Head StART in April, during which they taught the youngsters about West African music, dance and games. At the Howard County Center for the Arts Black Box Theatre, 8510 High Ridge Road, Ellicott City. Call 410-313-2787 or go to hocoarts.org. Free.

Ice Cream Social: From 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. families can learn about the process of making ice cream (and try some, too) at Marshy Point Nature Center, 7130 Marshy Point Road. Call 410-887-2817 or go to marshypoint.org. Free.

(Photo courtesy of the Howard County Arts Council)

Friday (May 23): 

Middle River Bluegrass Festival: Music, rides and food are the main attractions of this three-day festival: 6:30 p.m.-11 p.m. today, 1 p.m.-11 p.m. Saturday and 1 p.m.-9 p.m. Sunday at Our Lady Queen of Peace Church, 10003 Bird River Road. Admission to the concert area is $5 per day per person or $15 per family. Free admission to the carnival area. Fees for rides vary. Call 410-686-3085 or go to olqpmd.org.

Flower Moon Camp Fire: See wildflowers and listen to stories around a campfire with s’mores at 7 p.m. at the Irvine Nature Center, 8400 Greenspring Ave., Stevenson. For ages 4 and older. $6-$8. Call 410-484-2413 x. 24 or go to explorenature.org.

Saturday (May 24): 

Color Wheels and Deals: Learn about colors in the Walters Art Museum’s collections and participate in an interactive creative activity. The museum is at 600 N. Charles St. The event runs 11 a.m.- 3 p.m. Call 410-547-9000 or go to thewalters.org. Free.

Family Hike: Parents and children can hike a route filled with learning stations from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. at Marshy Point Nature Center, 7130 Marshy Point Road. Call 410-887-2817 or go to marshypoint.org. Free.

Make & Take Craft: Children 3 and older can make a personalized journal from 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. at Lakeshore Learning Store, 1620 E. Joppa Road, Towson. Call 410-296-5888 or go to lakeshorelearning.com. Free.

Sunday (May 25):

Free Family Sundays: "Every Picture Tells a Story" lets kids respond to photographs through interactive creative workshops, gallery tours, and more. At 2 p.m. at the Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive. Free. Call 443-573-1700 or go to artbma.org.

National Tap Dance Day: Take part in tap demonstrations and lessons and watch the movie Tap, 3 p.m.-5:30 p.m. at School 33 Art Center, 1427 Light St. Free. Call 410-396-4641 or go to school33.org. 

Sowebohemian Arts & Music Festival: Listen to live local music and take part in family entertainment, such as face painting, balloon artists, jugglers and interactive art, noon-9 p.m. in the 1100 block of Hollins St. Free admission. Call 443-416-7719 or go to soweboarts.org.

 

...in the first (un)official Charm City Moms Guilty-Mom poll. You have just a few more hours to weigh in on whether or not I should arrange to leave work during an even-more-hectic-than-usual week to watch my son in a preschool show.

I should mention, if it wasn't clear before, that I am nearly always at important school events, and very happy to be there. It's just that this one time, it's going to be particularly difficult.

And yet, and yet. Last night my son intimated that there might be singing involved, too. The stakes have been raised.

The universe must have been smiling this morning, because when I reached in typical, hurried fashion into the big, unsorted jumble of clean laundry, I found not one but two pairs of matching socks sitting obediently together at the top. One for each child.

And just below those, there were clothes appropriate for each child to wear today.

I nearly wept with joy.

Something's definitely up, because yesterday fellow blogger Mary Beth over at Supafine had her own morning miracle.

Do you have any to report?

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, this lady is crazy. Does she think our kids are going to eat that? Tofu? Out in the open?

The thing is, my 7-year-old daughter chose it.

I offered her two options for this week's Dinner Together: fish baked in parchment packets, which she could help wrap up. Or grilled tofu with peanut sauce and baby bok choy.

Even though she wants to be a vegetarian (who, as I said before, eats vegetables only under duress), I thought she'd choose the fun fish packets. But she was horrified at taking a fish's life, and chose the tofu.

I admired her principles, but feared for the outcome of the dinner. ...

(Photo by me)

 

My only hope was that it involved peanut sauce, and neither of my children could live without peanut butter.

I was encouraged when I arranged this on a platter with the cute baby bok choy, and my daughter actually said that it "looks yummy." But the store-bought peanut sauce, instead of being my salvation, did me in. It was too spicy, and put both kids off. I tried quickly giving them a bowl of natural peanut butter mixed with a little soy sauce to drizzle on the tofu, but by then they'd decided against the whole thing, and ate grudgingly.

Live and learn. Next time I make my own peanut sauce. My husband and I really liked this dish, though, and it's very easy. It's a handy option if you have vegetarian guests coming over for a summer barbecue. If you don't have time to fire up the grill on a weeknight, a grill pan works beautifully. And if your kids have peanut allergies, a Thai chili sauce can be substituted for drizzling.

Grilled Tofu with Baby Bok Choy and Peanut Sauce

Serves 4 to 6

 

2 pounds extra-firm tofu, drained

8 heads baby bok choy, halved lengthwise

½ cup plus 2 tablespoons canola or grapeseed oil

2 teaspoons Asian sesame oil

Kosher or sea salt

Store-bought Thai peanut sauce and/or natural peanut butter for drizzling

 

Prepare a hot fire in a charcoal grill or preheat a gas grill on high, or oil a grill pan and heat on high.

Line a large, rimmed baking sheet with a double thickness of paper towels. Cut each cake of tofu into four 3/4-inch thick slices. Arrange the slices in a single layer on the paper towels. Place a double thickness of paper towels on top of the slices and press lightly to absorb the moisture.

While the grill heats, prepare the bok choy. Arrange bok choy in a single layer on a large, rimmed baking sheet. In a small bowl, combine the 2 tablespoons canola oil and the sesame oil and mix well. Brush both sides of the crisp white stalks (not the green leaves) of the bok choy with the oil mixture. Season the stalks lightly with salt.

If using a grill, oil the grill grate. When ready to grill, remove paper towels from tofu and brush both sides generously with the ½ cup canola oil. (Be careful when you turn the slices.) Using a spatula, transfer the tofu slices to the grill or grill pan, arranging them directly over the hot fire. Grill, turning once, until grill marks appear on both sides and the tofu is heated through, 2 to 3 minutes per side. Remove tofu and keep warm.

If using a grill, place a long strip of foil, about 6 inches wide, across the length of the grill. Arrange bok choy cut side down, so white stalks are more directly over the fire and green leaves are resting on the foil, protected from the fire. (If using a grill pan, just place the bok choy direcly on the pan, cut side down.) Grill until light brown grill marks appear, about 1 ½ minutes. Turn and do the same on the other side until bok choy is crisp tender when pierced with a fork.

Arrange tofu and bok choy on a platter and drizzle with peanut sauce, or serve with a dipping cup of natural peanut butter for little ones.

 

--Adapted from “Grill Every Day,” by Diane Morgan

Per serving (without peanut sauce or peanut butter): 503 calories, 32 grams protein, 36 grams fat, 3 grams saturated fat, 27 grams carbohydrate, 12 grams fiber, 0 milligrams cholesterol, 740 milligrams sodium. Analysis by registered dietitian Jodie Shield.

 

I have a terrible dilemma, one I'm sure many of you have faced. And along comes our snazzy new poll capability to help me solve it.

Here's the first of what may be many Guilty Mom questions.

Pro: My son's pre-K class is putting on what sounds like a very cute skit for the school and parents.

Con: It's at 11:15 a.m. on a weekday morning, in the middle of a short week in which my deadlines are already wickedly compressed. Husband will be out of town, so he can't go.

Pro: The boy has a speaking part.

Con: He has one line. I can recite it.

Pro: This is a priceless moment of childhood that shouldn't be missed. And my son invited me. Personally. With big eyes.

Con: It's being videotaped. And I'm already taking days off the following week to attend several end-of-school child events and stay home when school is closed, meaning I've got to work ahead to meet those deadlines, too.

Now it's time to vote. You have until tomorrow at 6 p.m.:

This story from today's San Jose Mercury News explores how the health of a prospective father can be just as important as that of his wife in avoiding birth defects for his children.

While women are encouraged to eat healthfully and take vitamins while they're trying to get pregnant, men typically get no such advice, the story says. Yet a recent study from the University of California at Berkeley found that men who ate little folate had more sperm with the wrong number of chromosomes, which could lead to miscarriages and birth defects like Down syndrome, the story says.

So if you want to be a dad, it can't hurt to take a multivitamin and eat leafy greens rich in folate.

Men, have you made any changes to your diet to prepare for a pregnancy?

(Photo of arugula by Bob Fila/Chicago Tribune)

I'm happy to have David Gerstman, the local blogger better known as Soccer Dad, as our Guest Dad today. When he's not blogging, he's helping to raise six kids (17, 15, 14, 9, 6 and 20 months.) Today, he's got a nice post on the way kids develop language.

"One of the joys of parenting comes from observing how children learn to communicate," he writes. "Of course, when they're infants they cry and a parent has to sort out what different cries mean. It's a skill and there's no way to teach it. But eventually a parent learns when a child is hungry, uncomfortable or just plain tired.
 
"When children start speaking, they're generalists. Words often have more than one meaning." ...

 

"When our oldest was about a year and a half she'd ride her rocking horse and say "lolly, lolly, lolly" in a sing song voice. I don't know if we ever figured out the source of "lolly," but we did learn that it wasn't just a tune. Once in D.C. we put her on a merry-go-round. After one time around it was time to move on and as I lifted her from the horse, a ear-splitting cry of "l-o-l-l-y" filled the air. A horse was also a "lolly." (At the age of 3 or 4 when she saw her first blimp on Preakness day, she called it an "airplane balloon," a rather clever construction, if I may boast.)
 
Five years ago, another daughter was the same age. All animals to her were "Max." Max is my in-laws' dog, and she associated all animals with the dog. Once she saw a group of birds and ran towards them shouting "Max." The birds didn't understand and flew away.
 
Our baby is now at that age. "Cookie" is likely any food that's round or that she wants to eat. (This is a sign that she's #6; our older children wouldn't be so familiar with cookies at this age!) She does have exceptions such as "lalla" (for challah, specially prepared bread for the Sabbath) or "chee" (cheese.) Drinks are "bottle" (for bottle). The exception is for her Dora cups which are "Dora." "Buckle" means traveling either in the stroller or the car.
 
Then there's here prefix "ah." "Ah-bottle" means "I want a bottle ... RIGHT NOW."
 
As a child gets older, she starts differentiating more. But some of the fun of learning her language is lost too. (Yes, I have boys too, but I don't remember their early speech patterns.)"

What were your kids' first all-purpose words?

Is it a perfect time for best places for family hikes, as Christine suggested a while ago? Or are we just inviting more rain with that idea?

While we're deciding, please post your favorite places for family hikes below, and/or suggest another topic. Remember, there are many Thursdays down the road. And please help us all out and ask your friends to contribute ideas; the more parents who participate, the better the lists.

That's the thesis of an op-ed article in The Sun today. (It's by a Los Angeles Times columnist.) Rosa Brooks' argument, one we've heard on Charm City Moms in various forms before, is that kids these days don't get enough free time to play and explore independently because we're always hovering over them.

She makes the argument that statistically speaking, a child is much more likely to be killed in a car accident than seriously hurt while wandering around his neighborhood.

I know what she's talking about, but I'm wondering whether there's a middle ground. After all, when we used to walk to school by ourselves, we were much more likely than kids are now to know trusted parents along the route. And those parents were much more likely to actually be home.

Can't we give our kids more free play time, but supervise them from a distance if we feel it's necessary?

How do you draw these lines?

In addition to just being irritating, this ever-changing weather gives parents another thing to feel guilty about. Or, for those with older kids, another reason to fight with them.

What should the kids wear?

Now analyzing the weather report has been added to my crowded morning to-do list. I've got to keep my kids' drawers stocked with both shorts and long pants, long-sleeved Ts and short, which means they're overflowing.

Layers seem like the answer, but sometimes they're not even enough. I got my daughter out in a sweater, T-shirt and pants today, but still felt bad on the trek up to school because she was cold without a jacket. ...

(Click below to keep reading.)

(2003 file photo by Sun photographer Kim Hairston)

My son, meanwhile, is growing like a weed out of his long pants, so he's off to preschool in high-water jeans some days. Even if I wanted to buy the next size up for him in long pants, the stores have moved aggressively on to summer wear and there's not much selection.

I'm so busy trying to figure this out by 7:30 a.m. that my own outfits are even less pulled-together than usual. Today: short-sleeved T, long winterish skirt, bare legs (cold!) and sandals. Hastily threw a faux-suede jacket over the whole thing. Yikes.

Ideas?

 

MGB asked for guidance on preparing her two children, 5 and 10, for the fact that their 13 1/2-year-old dog will probably die soon.

Betsy Brown Braun, a child-development specialist in Pacific Palisades, Calif., has a recent book out that seemed perfect for this question: Just Tell Me What To Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents.

Ideally, she said, parents begin early educating their kids about the life cycle, saying things like: “That rose is starting to die. It is all done living and it fell off the bush.” 

She says children understand death differently at different ages, and gives some ideas for helping each child. Click below to read her post.

(Photo courtesy of Betsy Brown Braun)

 

"The 10-year-old’s capacity for understanding death will differ from that of the 5-year old who has a more limited life experience. But all children need to know the truth.  Dead means that something or someone is all done living. We will never see it (him) again. Sheltering a child from this reality only deprives the child of the opportunity to learn about life.

Preparing a child for the inevitable (nearing) death of a beloved pet is crucial to acceptance of the sad reality of the loss.  As your pet ages, point out the obvious signs. “Buddy Dog is getting old. Look at the grey fur on his face. That shows he is getting older.”  “Buddy Dog is having a hard time getting up these days. He walks much more slowly. His legs are not working as well as they did when he was younger.”

When your child asks if his dog is going to die, (and he surely will), it is your opportunity to say, “Yes, Buddy Dog is going to die one day. Everything that is alive will die someday. Buddy’s life is starting to come to an end. You can see that parts of his body don’t work so well anymore.”

When the inevitable death is around the corner, it is your choice whether to have your pet die at home or at the vet’s office. My suggestion is the vet’s office, as the death alone will be hard for the child to experience. Seeing the pet’s dead body may be more than the child can process.

“I am taking Buddy Dog to the vet’s office. He isn’t eating much, he sleeps most of the time, and he is having such a hard time getting up and walking. Let’s see what the vet says.”

I am not in favor of introducing the child to euthanasia. In fact, if at all possible, stay away from the concept of “putting the pet to sleep” (even though it is better for the dog), unless you are prepared for some sleepless nights with your child!  Children in their teens (11 and older) have the capacity to comprehend the compassion of euthanasia. Younger children may be overwhelmed by the deliberateness of the act.

Even though you decide to euthanize the pet, you prepare the child for the reality of the coming death with:

“The vet called to tell us that Buddy Dog has gotten very very old for a dog, and parts of his body are starting not to work. Yes, (in answer to the question), he is going to die soon. He is staying at the vet’s office where he is comfortable and peaceful.”

And the next day perhaps:

“I have such sad news to tell you. The vet called to say that Buddy Dog died last night. His body was all done working, and now he is dead.” When your child asks where Buddy is, the answer ought not to be that he went to “doggie heaven” or that he is “living in the country.” We honor our children’s intelligence by explaining that the vet put Buddy’s all done body in a special container and took it to the pet cemetery where he buried it.  Just as the concept of euthanasia is highly charged for a child, so is cremation. While you may choose to keep Buddy’s ashes, you will save yourself some tongue-tied moments if you keep those ashen memories in a very private place for the time being."

Tell us how you prepared your child to lose a pet. By the way, Charm City Moms contributor Kayris has posted some ideas about this subject on her blog.

Today's site should be inspiring for kids who love to ride their bikes and parents who want to see the world. Family on Bikes is chronicling a family's planned bike journey from Alaska to Argentina, which is to start in June. The family? Mom, Dad, and 10-year-old twin boys. The bikes? Two singles and a tandem. The length of the journey? 20,000 miles, in about 2 1/2 years.

The kids are going for a Guinness World Record as young cyclists to complete the Pan-American Highway. The parents, both teachers, will school their children on the road and blog about their odyssey, and hope to be hooked up with classrooms where students can follow what they're doing.

Tell us about your bike trips with kids. And try not to feel intimidated by this family's plans. If it makes you feel better, I can barely bike down the block.

As promised, here's my other pre-summer safety tip:

Johns Hopkins Children's Center is cautioning new parents that they should avoid giving infants water, even in the heat of summer when all kids need extra liquids. Each year, a press release reports, the children's center sees 3 or 4 babies who have suffered seizures because of drinking too much water.

Water flushes sodium from the body, and babies less than a year old may be more prone to these types of seizures than older children because their diet does not contain enough food sources to replenish the lost sodium. "Also, an infant's immature kidneys cannot flush out excess water fast enough, causing a dangerous buildup of water in the body," the release says.

Overdiluted formula can cause the same problem, so stick to breast milk and properly mixed formula, especially for babies not yet eating solid food.

One reason I'm mentioning this is because I've run into a few grandparents out there who think giving babies water is still a good idea, because that's what they did. Now, if you get into a dispute about it with your mother or mother-in-law, you can point to an "official" source.

 

It feels a little funny to be talking about warm-weather safety on another unseasonably rainy, cool day, but summery weather is coming soon. (I really, really hope. Beginning to feel like I live in Seattle again, only without as much great coffee to get me through.)

Warm weather has its own dangers for kids that most of you probably know about, but these warnings bear repeating. In this post and the next, I'll pass along some warnings that have landed in my e-mail box the last few days.

 First: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reports that 18 children have fallen from windows since April, and two of them died. It's issuing these safety tips:

--Use window guards or window stops. (For windows on the 6th floor and below, install window guards that adults and older children can open easily in case of fire.) Install window stops so that windows open no more than 4 inches.

--Never depend on screens to keep children from falling out of windows.

--Whenever possible, open windows from the top -- not the bottom.

--Keep furniture away from windows to discourage children from climbing near windows.

 (Photo by Carlos Chavez, Los Angeles Times)

 

This little book arrived on my desk a few weeks ago, and I thought it might be fun to excerpt some of the "secrets" for discussion. The authors, Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, say they came upon the idea while interviewing moms for their first book, I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids.

"In some cases, moms mailed us their typewritten dirty little secrets to ensure their privacy -- they wouldn't risk being identified by their handwriting or sharing their e-mail address," the authors write.

We wouldn't do that on Charm City Moms, would we?

Anyway, on to some secrets. ...

(Click below to keep reading.)

Are any of these yours? 

"I take Vicodin when the baby won't stop crying."

"It's impossible to keep my house clean, so I just don't invite people over. Ever."

"Right before school one morning, my 6-year-old daughter threw up. I gave her some Tylenol and dropped her off anyway -- I had to get to work and didn't have a backup babysitter."

"Last night I wanted to read my book, so I let my 3- and 5-year-olds watch reruns of Roseanne."

Discuss.

OK, I'm pulling out the big guns.

My 7-year-old daughter, Leah, heard me talking with my husband about the endless debate on Dining at Large over whether kids should be allowed to set foot in restaurants before the age of, say, 25. "That's not fair," she said.

Yesterday afternoon, I asked her if she wanted to put her thoughts in writing. And, as you can see, she has.

I helped her with spelling and one bit of grammar. But the words are hers. In case you can't read it, a reprint follows. ...

(Click below to continue reading.)

 

"Dear people who think kids should not go to restaurants:

"I think you should only blame the kids who really do not behave. Now my mom says that my brother and I behave very well in restaurants and he is only 4.

"If you have children and they do not behave you should blame them, but do not blame all kids!!"

That's a "straight mouth" under the exclamation points. She thought that conveyed the right middle ground between politeness (smiley face) and disappointment (frown). 

I couldn't have said it better.

Here's a small list of best pizza places that kids love. Now foodies, before you get all exercised about what's below, remember that this isn't necessarily the best pizza -- though some of these places rank up there. It's a list of places where families like to dine and everyone is reasonably happy.

Often all we can hope for, as parents. And the absence of even these basic conditions is why many parents told me they don't have a place to go for pizza -- they just take it out.

For example, according to my unscientific observation, the No. 1 kid favorite pizza variety is likely cheese. Just ... cheese. Second favorite: pepperoni. So it's good when a place has both plenty of basic pizza and some fancy-schmantzy stuff for the adults.

--Amer's Cafe, Fullerton. Jason K raved about this place early on. Make-your-own-pizza parties, belly dancing, and a location in the same shopping center as the Beltway Movies 6 movie theater, which shows lots of family-friendly matinees.

--Carmine's in Hunt Valley gets props from Annelies and mgb. I like the sound of a gelato shop in the back.

--Bertucci's, various locations in the area. Yes, it's a chain. I've not been, but I've heard good things from several parents, particularly about the Timonium location on York Road. 

--If it's not busy, Iggies Pizza in Mount Vernon has gotten kudos from Chowhound readers for kid-friendliness (and from Dining at Large readers for its gourmet, thin-crust pizzas). I've never taken my kids, but I do like the pizza and the atmosphere. But Chowhounders recommend avoiding Saturday nights. They also have a "take and bake" option that might work if you think the kids (or you, for that matter) aren't up to restaurant manners that night.

--LIVE! restaurant reviewer and mom Karen Nitkin likes Matthew's Pizza in Highlandtown and S'ghetti Eddies in Roland Park. I second the S'ghetti Eddie's shoutout because I liked its Colors of Italy pie last time we were there -- and because, according to the web site, they now serve ice cream with free sprinkles.

--Edamommy likes another Timonium place, Pasta Blitz (49 Aylesbury Road, 410-453-6603). In a 2006 Sun review, which may not apply anymore, Karen praised the food and said there were lots of pizzas available by the slice.

--If we're going for takeout, our family has become fond of Vito's Pizza, 6304 York Road, Towson, 410-323-8486. Their cheese version pleases the kids, and the adults like the veggie pizza.

Now, I do realize that there aren't any Anne Arundel or Howard County places on this list that aren't chains, so I'm fervently hoping that some readers from those parts will chime in with good recommendations. And if there's anyplace else that should be mentioned, please tell us in the comments below.

Preakness is upon us, with lots of lead-up events for families, in addition to the race itself. Got a kid-friendly event to add that's happening today through Sunday? Please post it in the comments.

Thursday (May 15):

Preakness Balloon Festival: Kids and adults can enjoy crafts and entertainment, refreshments and games while watching balloons launch and fly from 3 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Thursday and Friday, with a final launch at 6:30 a.m. Saturday at Turf Valley Resort, 2700 Turf Valley Road in Ellicott City. Free. Visit ballooningusa.com/preakness2008.

Preakness Crab Derby: Cheer on your favorite sports, media, and local celebrities as they jockey blue crabs to win a purse of $500 for the celebrity's charity of choice. Caribbean Music will be performed by Orlando Phillips. Lexington Market Arcade, 400 W. Lexington St., Baltimore, 12-1 p.m., 410-685-6169, lexingtonmarket.com.

Waddle, Wade, Paddle: See frogs, muskrats and ducks up close, learn about them and participate in activities at 2 p.m. at the Maryland Science Center, 601 Light St. Admission to the center is $10-$14.50. Call 410-685-5225 or visit marylandsciencecenter.org.

Friday (May 16):

Plant A Seed: Listen as a master gardener discusses plants and their importance, see a hands-on demonstration and plant your own seeds to take home at the Elkridge branch of the Howard County Library, 6540 Washington Blvd., Elkridge. 1:30 p.m. Free. For ages 5-10. Call 410-313-5085 or go to hclibrary.org.

"Teddy Bear's Picnic": Rainbow Theatre presents this Bob Brown Puppets production at Slayton House, 10451 Twin Rivers Road, Columbia. Showtimes are 10 a.m. and 1 p.m., For children pre-K- 7. $5-$6. Free for children younger than 1. Call 410-730-3987 or go to columbiavillages.org/wildelake.

(Click below to read about weekend events.)

(Photo of a 2002 Preakness celebration featuring balloons by Sun photographer Kim Hairston)

Saturday (May 17):

Get Wiff It Baltimore: Reedbird Park hosts this tournament and festival from 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Highlights include competitive Wiffle ball games, games of skill, food and music. Free. The park is at 201 Reedbird Ave. Call 410-962-7070 or go to getwiffit.com.

36th Annual Lithuanian Festival: The Catonsville Armory hosts this celebration of spring with a Lithuanian twist including costumes, music and dance from 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Traditional Lithuanian fare such as desra sausage, pastries and Viryta honey liqueur will be available. The festival runs 11 a.m.-6 p.m. today and tomorrow. The armory is at 130 Mellor Ave., Catonsville. $3. Call 410-646-0261.

Mount Airy May Fest: Celebrate spring with two days of festivities ranging from live music to obstacle courses, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday. Free. Vendors will also be on hand with furniture, jewelry, pottery and a variety of food. The event takes place at 1 S. Main St., Mount Airy. Call 301-829-2112 or go to mountairymainstreet.org. 

Wine in the Woods: Sample hundreds of wines from around the state at this annual event. There will be handmade crafts by more than 75 artisans and a variety of entertainment, including Latin jazz group Rumba Club, pop rock performer Risa, living statues, a roving magician, balloon sculptures and more. The festival runs noon-6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday at Symphony Woods, 5950 Symphony Woods Road, Columbia. $20-$25; $5 for ages 4-20. Free for ages 3 and younger. Call 410-313-7275 or go to wineinthewoods.com.

Sunday (May 18):

Arbutus Arts Festival: This festival features more than 200 crafters and artists, a large variety of local food vendors, kids' activities and rides and live entertainment from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. It takes place along East Drive in Arbutus, from Superfresh to the Hollywood Movie Theater. Free. Go to arbutusartsfestival.com.

Free Family Sundays: “Monumental Art” features interactive art workshops, gallery tours, and more at 2p.m. at the Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Dr. Free. Call 443-573-1700 or go to artbma.org.

Picnic and Concert: Temple Oheb Shalom hosts the band the Bridge for a picnic and outdoor concert at 11:30 a.m. at 7310 Park Heights Ave. Free. Call 410-358-0108 or go to templeohebshalom.org.

The Sun's brand-new book blog, Read Street, has a roundup of the latest reviews of children's books from the Sun, the New York Times, and the Washington Post. Check it out and add your own reviews in the comments there, or here.

On the subject of coming up with healthful, quick meals that the kids will actually eat, you'll want to check out today's installment of our Make Over My Meal series. This month, a single mother who works full-time asked for help with dinners for her daughters.

Food blogger Rachel Rappaport offered some good ideas, including a recipe for peanut butter and noodles with snow peas (pictured) that I'm definitely going to try. Maybe the picture of the adorable little girl about to try something new that ran with the story will persuade my family it's a good idea.

By the way, if you'd like to volunteer to be featured in Make Over My Meal, please send an e-mail to food@baltsun.com with "Makeover" in the subject line. Give us your name and phone number, and tell us a little about what meal you'd like made over.

(Photo by Sun Photographer Amy Davis)

When all else fails, go to the stuffed baked potato. It's easy, full of nutrients, and allows each family member to add his or her own toppings.

This recipe is from a recently published Sesame Street cookbook, called "C" is for Cooking. This is Cookie Monster's baked potato: Baked once, then mixed with cheese, yogurt, butter and bacon bits if you like, then stuffed back into the shell and baked a little while longer.

Without the bacon, we thought it might be a good vegetarian option for my daughter. ...

(Click below for the recipe.)

(Photo by me)

 

She ate some of it, but not very enthusiastically. My son picked the bacon off his and left most of the potato. But he did eat his roasted carrots.

 

If someone's home early enough to put the potatoes in the oven about an hour and 15 minutes before you want to eat, this is a very doable weeknight dinner. There's very little prep work. And I didn't test this, but if you have less time, you could try microwaving the potatoes for the first "bake," then putting them in the oven to warm the stuffing and melt the cheese on top.

 

Cookie Monster’s ‘Me-Stuffed’ Potatoes

Serves 4

 

4 medium Idaho or russet potatoes (about 2 pounds)

½ cup low-fat plain yogurt

2 tablespoons butter, softened

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese, or a combination (divided use)

3 slices crisp cooked turkey bacon, crumbled

Salt and pepper to taste

 

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Scrub potatoes and pierce in one or two places with the tip of a knife. Bake the potatoes directly on the oven rack until tender, about 1 hour.

In a large bowl, combine the yogurt, butter and oil. Stir in ¾ cup of the cheese and the bacon.

When cool enough to handle, slice the top off each potato. Carefully scoop out the potato flesh and add to the bowl with the cheese mixture, leaving a ¼-inch potato shell intact. Place the potato shells in a baking dish. Stir the potatoes and cheese mixture until well-mixed. Use a large spoon to stuff the potato mixture back into the potato shells. Sprinkle evenly with remaining cheese.

Bake the stuffed potatoes in a medium baking dish until heated through, about 15 minutes.

--From Sesame Street’s “C is for Cooking”

Per serving: 435 calories, 16 grams protein, 23 grams fat, 12 grams saturated fat, 40 grams carbohydrate, 4 grams fiber, 480 milligrams sodium, 66 milligrams cholesterol. Analysis by registered dietitian Jodie Shield.

It's time again for me to ask for questions for the next Monday Consult. Since we've had several expert consultations lately that dealt with young children, you get bonus points for questions about tweens or teens.

And....don't let those Dining at Large posters scare you away from the all-important pizza query for this Thursday's tip sheet. Because if families can't go out to eat pizza, well, we might just have to show up at Charleston instead.

 

 

Today, occasional Guest Dad Joe Burris tells us what he likes in a child's toy.

The chief requirement: It doesn't talk back.

(Click below to read and react to his post.)

"Once a friend of mine with a young child asked what I look for in a children's toy.

My response: 'Does it have an 'off' switch?'

Think I'm kidding? You'd be surprised at how many of today's toys and games are extremely difficult - if not improbable - to shut off. Many don't have control switches at all, and the batteries that operate them are imbedded well inside, behind latches that are secured by screws too tiny to fit most screwdrivers. For others, the control switches are placed where they're likely to be found by accident.

Many of the toys - which ironically are more state-of-the-art than anything I grew up with - are activated by touch. Any touch. While that makes sense for toddlers, it can lead to harrowing experiences for adults.

One such toy I bought years ago for my then-toddler daughter was a Winnie The Pooh doll that supposed to teach kids the names of their body parts. Each time you touched Pooh, he would blare out a question like, "Can you help me find my foot?"

A few months later, I came home late from an assignment, and I went to my sleeping daughter's bedside to kiss her on the cheek. I didn't see Pooh on the floor in the dim room, and I inadvertently stepped on him.

"Can you help me find my head?" 

I jumped with fright, lost my balance and tumbled into a See-And-Say touch-activated farm animals toy.

"BAAAAAH!"
"MOOOOO!"

I couldn't wait to get out of there.
From then on, I've looked mostly for toys with "off" switches that were easy to find. Occasionally I've come home with a gadget that doesn't have an "off" switch, but it's been one that I could live with.
"Look sweetie," I said once, with a shiny red tablet in my hand. "Etch-A-Sketch." '

What are your favorite quiet toys?

Fathers, I feel for you. Last week, geared to Mother's Day, must have felt pretty darn estrogen-heavy. You must be glad it's over. And that it's Father's Day Tuesday.

Our Guest Dad, returning contributor Joe Burris, will be along soon. In the meantime, since you've so patiently listened through all the momcentric talk, I'm throwing the floor open. What fatherly things are on your mind?

And if you'd like to be a Guest Dad in the future, please send me an e-mail with a sample post.

I think this is the Thursday to come up with the list eapopp suggested of favorite area pizza places that kids love.

Pizza is certainly a staple for many families, though with the economy pinching all of us, it's apparently becoming more of a weekend treat, according to this piece on progressivegrocer.com. All the more reason to choose your pizza place wisely.

Dining at Large has done a general fave-pizza place list before, but ours will probably be geared as much to how easy it is to eat there with kids as it is to the taste of the pizza itself. Of course, we want the best of all worlds: great pizza in a place where the kids can run wild feel comfortable.

Post your favorite places below, and tell us what you like about them.

(Photo of Pasticcio pizza in Canton by Sun photographer Lloyd Fox)

According to a story in yesterday's New York Times, international adoption agencies are feeling the pinch of new rules and increasing constraints from some countries, causing some to close. In some cases, the story says, parents who were in the middle of the process were left in the lurch, and out thousands of dollars.

I'd like to hear from some parents who are trying to adopt from overseas -- or who have recently done so -- about how the process is going. Are you being told to prepare for longer waits? And how does that affect your decision-making about adoption?

 

This week's question comes from Edamommy, who has been having trouble getting her almost-4-year-old daughter to make transitions from the house to school, a friend's house to home, etc. 

Margo Sipes, executive director of Downtown Baltimore Child Care, has seen many children and parents struggle with transitions over the years. Here's her post about what to do:

(No, that's not Edamommy's daughter clinging to her mommy. It's just a Sun file photo.)

 

"Change can be difficult for many people children and adults alike.  Here are some questions to ask yourself as you as you try to work through this issue.

Am I moving slowly enough?  Children’s brains do not process information as quickly as adult brains and adults often expect a faster response than is appropriate when they give a child a direction.  Try waiting for two or three beats longer than you think you should when you ask your daughter to do something. A five minute warning is a good way of preparing your child that a change will take place, but avoid using a count down. Repetition may raise her anxiety level.  
 
Does my child have enough control in the transition? It might be helpful let your daughter in on the plans.  Talk about what’s going to happen before the transition takes place.  For example, in the car on the way to preschool, tell your daughter, “When we get to school, you’ll hang your coat in your cubby, we will read one story, I’ll give you a goodbye kiss on both cheeks and then I’m going to leave for work.  What story would you like to read?” Repeat the process every day so that it becomes a routine.  Continue with the planning by letting her know what the whole day will look like.
If your daughter balks, don’t give in and read two or three stories.  Rather, be firm but calm.  
 
Do I let my child know I understand how she feels?  Validate your daughter’s feelings. You might say, “It’s hard to leave when you are having so much fun, isn’t it?” But stay firm and if she resists, give her a choice where all the options are acceptable to you.  You might say, “It is time to leave now. You can walk to the car or I can carry you.  I’m sorry you are sad, but it’s time to go.” Your tone should be firm but calm and then follow through, even if she makes a scene.
 
Can your child trust you?  Most of the suggestions above are techniques that lead to the development of trust.  Don’t ever threaten to leave your child if she doesn’t come with you. Trust is mightily important in the parent child relationship, and if your daughter is feeling insecure or frightened that she will be abandoned, it can exacerbate the problem.  Avoid that technique altogether.  Rather, give her something to look forward to, special time with you, the love of her life. You might say, 'When we get all buckled up in your car seat, we can sing a song together as we ride.  Which song do you want to sing today?'

With a little time, patience, and consistency, these simple techniques are usually successful."

What's worked for you?

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope that while you were luxuriating in bed this morning, sipping the hand-squeezed orange juice that was brought to you with the newspaper, you read the great essays on mothers that appeared in today's Arts & Life section of The Sun. If not, you can read them here.

The essays are centered on the theme of the surprises that come in relationships between mothers and their children. Sometimes those surprises come when the kids are little, sometimes when they're grown.

I've had a few. ... 

(Click below to keep reading.)

(Photo of virtual flowers from me to you, taken a week ago at Sherwood Gardens in Baltimore.)

I was surprised -- still am -- that it was so hard to work and raise kids. (For some reason, when I was single, I thought this had all been figured out.) I was surprised -- still am -- that I could ever love anybody this much, even when they're exhibiting their least charming behavior.

What are the surprises you've experienced? (And please don't tell me one of them was that your kids thought a hamster would be a great Mother's Day present.)

 

The deluge of comments under my post about mothers' groups got me thinking that Charm City Moms should explore a little more the kinds of connections mothers form with each other, and how these friendships change as the kids grow.

I find it interesting that mothers' groups have become more and more necessary to people as our society seems more hurried and more disconnected.

It seems like it should be easy for mothers to be friends, and sometimes it is. Who understands what we're going through the way another mom does, especially if the kids are the same age? But sometimes it's not easy. Ever tried to approach a group of moms on the playground who already know each other? It can be downright scary. Let alone if you're a stay-at-home dad trying to break into a group of parents, as our Guest Dad Will Morton noted a while ago.

Part of it is that parenting makes many of us anxious -- and, dare I say it, judgmental. We want to do everything right, and to appear to do it right. Sometimes if a mom appears more perfect than you, you may not want to be friends. If she brags about her kids too much, you might not be able to stand it. Or you might think she's too lax. Even though your kids like each other, you worry about the example she sets -- and what might go on in her house if you left your child alone there.

She might think you're judging her because she works and you don't. Or because she stays home and you work. And vice versa.

And then there's the time factor. If things get really busy and you don't have time for some of your mom friends, it's another thing to feel bad about.

How do you choose your mom friends? How many can you handle? What makes you stick with one, and keep her for years?

 

 

I just got back from the Mother's Day tea at my son's preschool. It was totally cute and festive, as you can see from our place settings. (Sorry the picture's a little blurry, but a 4-year-old was squirming on my lap.)

I was charmed that the teachers had each child give mom (and/or grandma) a paper flower, lead her to her place and pull out her chair. My son discharged this task very solemnly.

They made us placemats in which each child said what his or her mom was an expert at. I got "brushing my teeth," meaning his teeth. Hey, at least I'm good at something.

The white bag to the left is a portable "breakfast in bed" with a banana and a cereal bar the kids had assembled. A great idea. We were supposed to save them for Mother's Day morning. But my son couldn't wait; he wanted me to eat it right there in front of him. So it goes.

Have you been to a Mother's Day event today? Post your report below. If you have pics of your gifts to share, email them to me.

(Photo by me)

Restaurant critic and blogger Elizabeth Large has the details on another local Mother's Day free food offer, this time at Don't Know Tavern in Federal Hill.

It's the time of year when the things to do start to multiply as the temperature climbs. Here are a few more events you might want to know about:

--The Belvedere Square outdoor concert series "Summer Sounds at the Square" kicks off tonight at 6 p.m. with the Crawdaddies. (Concerts will be cancelled if it rains.  For updates, call 410-534-BELV.)

 --SquidFire, which makes baby clothes sold at Ladybugs and Fireflies and Corduroy Button, is holding an art mart in Mount Vernon Square from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday featuring functional items from 40 artists. 

Our expecting friend Amy asked an interesting question the other day that you may have missed:

Any suggestions on how to gently decline Mother's Day wishes when one is still about a month away from being a mom? I know folks have the best of intentions, and I am probably just being superstitious, but it doesn't quite feel right yet...

I never faced this one myself -- because my first baby was born in early spring, I wasn't pregnant on Mother's Day. But I'm sure many of you were. What did you say when someone wished you Happy Mother's Day before you were actually a mom?

I guess I would have done what I did when people meant well but had other kinds of unwanted things to say or do. Like touching my belly when I didn't really know them. Or saying I was obviously carrying a boy or a girl. Or telling me their delivery horror stories.

I'd just smile, smile, smile, until they stopped or went away.

Anyone have advice for Amy?

(Photo of Bono kissing Gwen Stefani's belly at the 2006 Grammy Awards, by Richard Hartog, Associated Press)

 

I found it telling that when I asked mothers, on and off Charm City Moms, what they really wanted for Mother's Day, not one person mentioned a physical item. What we want for Mother's Day is....

--Time. Some of us, like CKisMom and Annelies, want a peaceful day to hang out with the family.

--Time. Some of us, like mrg and MarylandMommy.com, want time to ourselves to do anything we want. (And in my opinion, it needs to be a long stretch of time. Sometimes when I have the gift of a few hours with no agenda, I'm so paralyzed with the possibilities that by the time I've decided what to do, time's up!)

--More time all the time. And others, in a perfect world, want more time every day, preferably time not filled with errands or carpools. Count me in this group. Lila said it best: "A 25th hour."

--Pampering: Yeah, it may be a cliche, but we'd really like to get our nails done, or have a facial or a massage.

--A personal trainer. This is (the other) kate's wish. It would be mine, too, if only I had time (see above).

--A professional organizer. Laura wants her scrapbooks/photo albums organized, eapopp wants her windows cleaned, and I want a dining room table with no papers on it.

--A date for a nice dinner. Several people mentioned this, and I'm there with them. Not only do I want a date with my husband for dinner out at one of my favorite places (the ones where the Dining at Large people would scream if they saw children), but I also want someone else to hire the babysitter, make the reservations, get the kids bathed and fed before the babysitter gets there, have enough cash on hand to pay the babysitter, and drive the babysitter home afterwards. While I sit around in my little black dress nursing a nightcap.

There, we've said it. Now, how do we feel about having the kids make us breakfast on Mother's Day? Pro: It's so sweet and fun. Con: We might have to clean it up afterwards.

Discuss.

(Sun file photo by Doug Kapustin)

This weekend you can learn about screen painting, party on the water in Middle River, and have your portrait painted by the kids at the BMA for Mother's Day.

There are also several school festivals. We'd love to hear about your upcoming school festivals, either in the comments or via e-mail.

(By the way, an apology to all of you who commented last evening and had to wait until now for comments to show up....my phone AND Internet service were out at home. Ack! Verizon, do you hear me now? Please come soon!)

Friday (May 9):

Big Book of Animal Tales With the Maryland Zoo: Singing and storytelling at the Pikesville branch of the Baltimore County Public Library, 1301 Reisterstown Road, Pikesville. Sessions start at 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. For ages 2-6 with an adult. Reservations are required. Call 410-887-1234 or go to bcplonline.org.

Family Fun Night: The Bounce About at the Town Mall of Westminster, 400 North Center St., Westminster, will provide family games, prizes, moon bounces and more, from 4 p.m.-7 p.m. Visitors can also meet Elmo. $4 for the first half hour and $3 for each additional half hour. Call 410-751-6489.

Click below for events Saturday and Sunday.

(Photo of a lighthouse screen by Baltimore painter Tom Lipka, by Sun photographer Jed Kirschbaum)

Saturday (May 10):

Baltimore County Waterfront Festival: Middle River’s Wilson Point Park hosts a variety of family activities, including water-taxi tours, arts and crafts shows and live music. The program also includes nature and environmental displays, local food vendors, water rescue demonstrations and more. The event runs 10 a.m.-6 p.m. at Wilson Point Park, 1101 block of Wilson Point Road, Middle River. Free. Call 410-887-3871 or go to baltimorecountymd.gov.

MayMart: This annual spring festival and fundraiser at Roland Park Elementary and Middle School features food, games and rides, along with booths with homemade crafts and white elephant items for sale. Admission free; tickets can be purchased for games and rides. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., on the school grounds at 5207 Roland Ave.

FriendsFest: Friends School of Baltimore hosts the event, which features art exhibits and sales, food vendors and live music. Runs 10 a.m.-3 p.m., at the school at 5114 N. Charles St. $5. Ages 18 and younger free. Visit friendsbalt.org.

International Migratory Bird Day: The National Aquarium in Baltimore, 501 E. Pratt St., celebrates birds with activities inside the aquarium and outside on Pier 3 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Activities included with admission, which is $21.95 for general admission, $20.95 for seniors, $14.95 for ages 3-11 and free for ages 3 and younger. Call 410-576-3800, 410-727-3474 or go to aqua.org.

Rowhouse Rembrandts: Parents and children can participate in the Screen Painting Workshop, which is part of Rowhouse Rembrandts, a celebration of Baltimore’s urban arts. The workshop takes place 10 a.m.-11:30 a.m. at the American Visionary Art Museum, 800 Key Highway. For ages 5-12. Call 410-244-1900 or go to avam.org.

Sykesville Flower and Artisans Festival: Many local flower vendors and artists will fill Sykesville's Main Street for the event, which includes children’s activities such as face painting and balloon art. Local DJ Jerry Thrasher provides the music. The festival runs 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Free. Call 410-549-3095 or go to sykesvillebizassoc.com.

Sunday (May 11):

Mother's Day Garden Container Days: Moms and kids can decorate plant containers and fill them up, take hayrides, visit farm animals and picnic by the pond. Sharp’s at Waterford Farm, 4003 Jennings Chapel Rd., Brookeville, hosts the event, which runs noon-5 p.m. Admission free. Fees vary for containers and plants. Call 410-489-2572 or go to sharpfarm.com.

Mother’s Day in the Museum:  Visitors can create portraits of their mothers using materials provided by The Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, starting at 2 p.m. Free. Call 443-574-1700 or go to artbma.org.

Kristin, with one of the many valentines to BaltimoreMommies. There were also lots of good words for Maryland Mommy, Maryland Mommies and ChesapeakeMommies today. Boy, it can be a little tough to keep you all straight! Thanks to all who helped us strive for 500 comments, and added some good resources and funny posts in the process. I hope you'll stick around and get us to 1,000! And now to the matter of Kristin's fabulous prize....

She gets a choice of one of these books:

--The exciting new version of What to Expect When You're Expecting, by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, with hip expecting mama in jeans replacing lady in the rocking chair. (You probably don't need it, Kristin, but this would be a nice gift to have on hand the next time a friend or relative announces she's pregnant.)

--The Cowgirl's Cookbook: Recipes for Your Home on the Range, by Jill Charlotte Stanford. Looks like fun.

--Cheese Hors d'Oeuvres, by Hallie Harron. Kristin is required to invite us over for a cocktail party if she chooses this one.

--The Official Guide to Dysfunctional Parenting, by Frederick Muench and Gregory Nemec. I don't need this guide; I worry that I could have written it. But Kristin may be a very good and conscientious parent, in which case she requires some help to mess up her kids.

--The Pretzel Cookbook, by Priscilla Warren. Because life with kids gets twisted.

Which one would you choose? Tell us below. And Kristin, you can let me know your choice either by commenting below or by private email.

This New York Times piece today has some surprising news about how often kids in day care and preschool get to play outside. According to a survey of staff members at child-care centers, sometimes the whole group would have to stay inside if one child didn't have the right clothes for the weather.

File under things you didn't want to know: Kids also apparently eat mulch. And throw it at each other.

I've always felt fortunate about the outdoor play time situation at Govans Presbyterian Preschool in Baltimore, which our kids attended for years (my son will age out in a month). They seem to go outside every chance they get, and the creative games they come up with when left to their own devices on the playground are amazing. My daughter still wistfully looks back on all the play time they had there, even though she's almost finished with first grade.

I tell myself this is a very good thing each night when I shake all the sand out of my son's shoes.

How do you feel about the outdoor play situation at your child's day care/preschool/school?

(Sun file photo by Algerina Perna)

Ok, folks, we're getting pretty close to 500 comments, so you know what this means....a chance for a fabulous prize (OK, you get to choose from some books, including cookbooks) and bragging rights if yours is the 500th comment.

We'd better get the party started now, because it's almost Thursday and I have scant fodder for our tip sheet on what we want for Mother's Day. If you don't answer the call, I'll have to make up a list of everything I want. And then think of the pressure on my poor husband. (Hee hee.)

By the way, if you're vying for the 500th comment title, please include your e-mail address in the commenting box that asks for it. (If you're not sure where that is, review this guide to comments.) You can still use your handle or just your first name, of course, which is all that will show up here on the blog. But the e-mail address (which I promise not to share with anyone) will let me get in contact with you to make arrangements for you to receive your fabulous prize.

 

This is a good dinner for anyone looking for a quick vegan recipe. If your kids don't like the idea of tofu, they won't know it's hidden in the sauce.

If they don't like the spinach as pictured, you can add some of the spinach to the sauce as you're making it, too. Just make sure you do that in small batches, because too much can make the sauce brownish-green instead of creamy red.

(Click below for the recipe. ...)

(Photo by me)

Pasta with Creamy Spinach and Roasted Red Pepper Sauce

Serves 4

 

10 ounces dried whole-wheat pasta, any shape

12 cups (two 10-ounce packages) fresh baby spinach leaves, rinsed and dried

1 ½ pounds firm silken tofu

One 12-ounce jar roasted red peppers with garlic

¾ teaspoon salt

2 heaping tablespoons small capers, drained

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add pasta and cook according to package directions.

Meanwhile, put spinach in a large, deep skillet or saucepan (cook in batches if necessary) with 2 tablespoons water. Stir over medium-high heat until wilted. Cover, reduce heat to low and cook 1 to 2 minutes more, or until tender. Remove pan from heat.

Combine tofu, peppers and salt in food processor or blender; process until smooth and creamy. Drain spinach, gently pressing out any excess liquid. Combine tofu mixture and spinach in pan, stirring to blend. Cook over low heat, stirring often to heat through; do not let boil.

Drain pasta and place on serving plates. Top with spinach mixture, and sprinkle with capers. Serve immediately.

 

--Recipe and analysis from “Vegetarian Times Fast and Easy,” by the editors of Vegetarian Times

Per serving: 370 calories, 26 grams protein, 3 grams fat, 1 gram saturated fat, 65 grams carbohydrate, 13 grams fiber, 0 milligrams cholesterol, 1,130 milligrams sodium

Elaine's report on her fab Kentucky Derby party prompts me to ask all of you who watched the Derby with your families last weekend what you told your kids when they heard the filly Eight Belles went down.

After learning about it Saturday night, I was so glad that I had completely forgotten to turn on the race. My daughter in particular would have been both penetrating in her questioning and devastated at the news that the horse had to be euthanized.

Fortunately, I gather that most of this happened off camera. But it's been all over the news. And it seems like we're just recovering from the Barbaro tragedy.

Any suggestions/stories about how to handle the awful sight of a racehorse being injured, should something similar happen again at the Preakness?

On a happier note, I haven't forgotten Elaine's request for a Black-eyed Susan mocktail; great idea! Look for it soon. In the meantime, if you have a tried-and-true recipe, please post below.

(Photo of Eight Belles after being injured at the Kentucky Derby by Brian Bohannon, Associated Press)

So ... what do you really want for Mother's Day? If we do a tip sheet on that for this Thursday, you can leave Charm City Moms strategically displayed on the computer all that day and the next, hoping SOMEBODY will get the hint.

I think this tip sheet is pretty necessary. For example, my e-mail inbox this morning included the following missive:

Chef Gordon Ramsay makes it easy with his new cookbook,

Gordon Ramsay’s Fast Food – PERFECT FOR MOTHER’S DAY

Just what I want on my special day: recipes from a chef who would cuss me out and perhaps vomit in my trash can if he doesn't like what I make from his book. So calming!

(Don't get me wrong; I'm sure the food is good. It just doesn't really say Mother's Day to me.)

What do you want? Post your tips below.

 

 

 

Today's Guest Dad is Sun features reporter Rob Hiaasen. His 17-year-old daughter Samantha (pictured) just had one of those senior superlatives bestowed on her. And, as Rob suffers through the tough college application process with her, he is darn proud. 

Click below to read his post.

(Photo of Samantha Hiaasen courtesy of her father)

"The news traveled fast on the Internet. The girl who always had the best hair at home won for Best Hair at Dulaney High in Cockeysville.

"We needed this. No, I needed this.

"My daughter is a member of the largest high school senior class in the history of the Republic. Colleges are turning away students — even the ones who were voted Most Likely to Marry a Millionaire — even the ones with the Best Hair. It’s been a season of rejection, so I was hoping my daughter would get some good news about her first choice. In the meantime, though, we'll take Best Hair.

"So, how to describe my daughter’s hair? It’s a wild child that belies a down-home girl. It’s no beehive, but rather a frizzled bandshell of dirty blond hair requiring its own zip code. Hair-wrangling attempts by Timonium-based stylists have been ineffective. 

"Dulaney High’s Best Hair can be trimmed, but it’s too powerful to be tamed. Samantha's hair has been a force for good, and the subject of one of her college essays. Best Hair does not, alas, carry weight with college admissions people.

"The tangled business of where my daughter will go to college will work itself out. I’m not worried about that. It’s just that when Sam does leave, she will take her Best Hair with her. And every other best thing about her."

Many parents out there are watching the cruel world size up their seniors -- and at the same time, they're preparing to send the kids they've lived with for so long into that world for college. How are you dealing with it?

This time TGI Friday's is getting in on the Mother's Day act. Mothers get a free dessert with the purchase of an entree on Mother's Day.

To quote the press release:

 “Mothers are always special guests at Friday’s,” said Mike Archer, president and chief operating officer of T.G.I. Friday’s USA. “This day is about Mom. We invite mom and her family to have fun, experience great food and drink and at the end, mom receives a special treat from Friday’s ~ a free dessert.”

"According to Archer, moms may be offered one of the following Mini Dessert Shots: Orange Cream, Rocky Road or Chocolate Chip Mint; or perhaps Oreo® Chocolate Cake." '

Mini dessert shots? Mother's Day is one day I want a maxi dessert with no regrets. But maybe that's just me.

Do you know of other Mother's Day offers? Please pass them along.

In the couple of months that I've been writing this blog, I've been trying to gather information about moms' clubs around the area to tell you about.

Mother's Day Week seems like a good time to publish what I've got so far. Maryland parents are all over cyberspace (and sometimes they get together in person, of course). Here are some groups I've learned about:

(Click below for the list. ...)

--Maryland Mommies, a membership-only group with events and online discussion forums.

--Baltimore Mommies is another free private discussion forum for moms in Baltimore, Howard, Eastern Carroll and Northern Anne Arundel counties, with some in-person meetups.

--Chesapeake Mommies is part of the same network as Baltimore Mommies, and has the same format. It covers Harford, Cecil and Kent counties.

--There are lots of Maryland moms' groups on Yahoo!, from the specific to the broad.

--Meetup.com also has scads of local groups, for working moms, SAH moms, and on and on. Here are local search results.

Are you in a moms' group? Tell us what it does for you, and whether it's been worth your time. (Remember, you can post under a handle or anonymously here, so you can be brutally honest.) Which are the best you've tried? 

Also, I'm sure I've left somebody out. Please fill us in about any other local parents' groups that accept new members.

This week's answer goes to Dave, who wondered what to do about an aggressive child who plays regularly with his daughter. They're both a little over 2 years old, and the rough one has been pushing the other one around since they started walking, he said. The tough part is that the parents are friends, and the hitter's mother has been trying to stop her daughter's behavior to no avail. Dave is wondering whether the hitter needs to be excluded from the play group.

Molly Brown Koch, who's been coaching local parents for about 50 years and is author of the recent book 27 Secrets to Raising Amazing Children, says Dave shouldn't give up on his daughter's playmate just yet. As long as no one's getting seriously hurt, she said, both children have more to gain by learning how to play peacefully in a group.

(Click below to read more of what Koch had to say. ...)

(Photo of Molly Brown Koch courtesy of the Jewish Community Center of Greater Baltimore, where Koch will speak May 14.)

If time-outs and reprimands aren't working, Koch says, it's time for positive reinforcement.

"I ask parents to turn it around to a positive," she says. "If you play nicely then you get a reward." Part of that reward can be praise while the play time is going well; the child's parent might say: "The kids like you so much today!"

Distraction is another key tactic. Dave can help his daughter by staying alert, during the play group, to signs that the other child is about to get pushy. Before things escalate further, he and other parents can help the kids switch gears by starting a new activity. Dave might talk to his daughter in private about how to head off problems beforehand by asking her how they can play together so that everyone can have a good time. (In other words, trying to find out what sets off the other child.)

At the same time, Dave should help his daughter find the words to speak up for herself and levy her own consequences when the other girl is pushing her around. She could learn to say "I'm not going to play with you if you do that," and then follow through by walking away and playing with someone else.

The parents in the group also might try shortening the length of time the kids are together and making sure there's plenty of food and drink during a play date. Well-rested, well-hydrated kids tend to have better behavior.

Finally, everyone should have patience, even though it's hard. "Unless she’s really burning the place down, I wouldn’t exclude her," Koch says. "Try all these things. We need to strengthen these litle kids, so that they can handle these situations calmly and peacefully."

How do you feel about Koch's advice? Has something else worked for you?

If you'd like to hear more from Koch, she'll be lecturing and leading a discussion at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 14, on "Respectful Children: A Lost Cause?" at the Rosenbloom Owings Mills Jewish Community Center, 3506 Gwynnbrook Ave., Owings Mills. Admission is free.

Since it's Mother's Day Week, we're going to be talking a fair amount about so-called "mom bloggers" (perhaps at my peril). For the two of you who are not already reading the excellent Finslippy, I'm going to commend you to her blog today. Her motto is "wading in the shallow end since 2004," but she clearly understands that the shallow end is also the deep end.

Her last few posts in particular capture the absurdity and the heartbreak that comes with being a parent. Ever tried to ask a kid about his day? Read this post. Tried to protect him from marauding germs? Check out this one. And, sadly, her latest -- about her miscarriage last week -- is a sparely written account of a tragedy too many parents will recognize. I'd add to the 783 comments-and-counting under that post, but I have no words for this one except those that have been said: I'm so sorry.

 

To reward my weekend readers, I'm throwing in an extra tip sheet. Yes, I know it's Saturday, but rules were made to be broken. (This reminds me of those day-of-the-week bibs my kids wore as babies. If we didn't time the laundry just right, they ended up wearing the wrong day and humiliating their parents at day care.)

Also, I promised you some ideas on what to do with kids' art. I've combined your suggestions with some that I used in a Sun story on the subject a couple of years ago.

Click below for the list. ...

(Art by Leah from several years ago. No, I'm not recycling this one.)

Sort it. Keep drawings and paintings for a while, then get your child involved in choosing favorites to keep -- and others to toss. As a professional organizer told me what's important to emphasize is the act of creating, not necessarily keeping every last creation.

Recycle it. Wrap gifts in pieces the kids are willing to part with. Or use several old works of art to create a new one.

Give it, to teachers, relatives and close friends. Far-away grandparents will especially appreciate receiving the surprise of art in the mail. And kids will enjoy seeing it displayed when they visit.

Display it. Make a gallery space -- not the refrigerator -- for the truly special pieces. Inexpensive frames can be found at places like Ikea, or you can pick them up used.

Photograph it. When the gallery is getting too crowded, take a picture of all the art -- then dispose of the bulky originals. As Kayris suggests, you can display the photographs on your screen saver.

Laminate it. Another idea from Kayris that an organizer also mentioned to me. Artwork can live on as placemats, at least for a while. 

Create a portfolio. Buy an archival-quality portfolio and make a coffee table book, as Annelies suggests. Go lower-tech, as Joyce from KidBaltimore does, and make "books" out of recycled paper, with art on a theme. Or create a book or a calendar online at a site like Photo Works or Cafe Press.  

Other ideas? Please share.

You might say that every day is Mother's Day here on Charm City Moms (with the exception, perhaps, of Father's Day Tuesday.)

But the coming week, as we saw from the previous post on free food for new moms, is going to be filled with "special offers" just for us, stories about what we really want, reflections on our hidden importance, and depressing statistics about how much money we'd be making if motherhood were paid employment.

So we might as well have a week to sound off about discuss Mother's Day here on our blog.

I'm thinking that the next Tip Sheet Thursday goes out to fathers and children (including adult children) to tell them from our own mouths what we really want for Mother's Day, and what we don't.

Or it could be top lessons learned from our own mothers.

What else do you want to discuss during Mother's Day Week?  

(Associated Press photo)

 

...you are wearing a Hot Wheels/Barbie/Care Bears/Lightning McQueen/or some other character Band-Aid. At work.

Like this Strawberry Shortcake number I have on today.

The sad thing is that we weren't even out of the boring old adult kind. I just didn't have time to walk to the other bathroom and get one.

(Photo by me)

All next week, Let's Dish!, the meal-assembly company some of you probably use, is making a Mother's Day offer I wouldn't be able to refuse if I had had a baby this year -- free dinner for the family for any mother who has given birth since January 2008. (Now if they could just come over and do the dishes afterwards...)

Check the link above for details. Moms of twins born this year will be happy to hear that they get two meals.

This looks like it's going to be a busy weekend for families, especially around the Inner Harbor. There's the American Visionary Art Museum's Kinetic Sculpture race (pictured) -- always a fun time -- and the Baltimore For Less weekend, which offers discounts on a variety of downtown destinations. A little further north, you've got the two-day Flowermart.

With all these choices, what are you doing this weekend? Let us know in the comments. (Hate to say it, but as busy as we've all been lately, I could vote for "nothing in particular" in a heartbeat.)

Friday (May 2):

Baltimore’s Flowermart: 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Friday and Saturday. For 90 years, Baltimore’s Flower Mart has brought plants, entertainment and the classic lemon stick to the city. The festival offers a variety of vendors, live music, art and singing contests, classic cars and a pet parade. The monument is at Mount Vernon Place and Charles Street. Free. Call 410-323-0022 or go to flowermart.org.

Stroller Strides Baltimore City grand opening: Children can enjoy songs and games in a trial class, and parents can sample the fitness program with children of stroller-riding age. There will also be food, refreshments, raffle prizes, fitness assessments and kids' games at Fort McHenry National Monument and Historic Shrine, 2400 East Fort Ave., from 9:30 a.m. - 12 p.m. Call 800-733-8718 or go to strollerstrides.net/baltimorecity.

(Photo by Sun photographer Monica Lopossay, 2007)

(To read about events on Saturday and Sunday, click below.)

Saturday (May 3):

Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race: Watch the mayhem as the American Visionary Art Museum hosts the Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race. Racers, or "kinetinauts," build gaudy and outrageous human-powered crafts to traverse road, mud and water for glory. Free. The event is 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m. The museum is at 800 Key Highway. Call 410-244-1900 or go to kineticbaltimore.com to see the race route.

"Baltimore For Less Weekend": Saturday and Sunday. The citywide event highlights free events as well as discounted parking and admission to 15 attractions, including Center Stage and the Maryland Science Center. Call 800-343-3468 or visit baltimore.org/moreforless.

Towsontown Spring Festival: The community festival runs from 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Saturday and 1 p.m.-7 p.m. Sunday, with more than 450 vendors, summer food and four stages with 50 acts. Activities include a children’s area, beer garden and NASCAR area. The festival is at 400 Washington Ave., Towson. Free. Call 410-825-1144 or go to towsontownspringfestival.com.

Waterfront Wiggle: Attend a concert by Milkshake, the local kids’ rock band seen on PBS, at 11 a.m. at West Shore Park, between the Visitors Center and the Maryland Science Center. Free. Go to waterfrontpartnership.org.

Sunday (May 4): 

Mayfair: Port Discovery Children’s Museum hosts this event with crafts, workshops a birthday celebration with MPT’s Bob the VidTech, food and more, from 1 p.m.-5 p.m. $25. Children younger than 2 admitted free. Call 410-727-8120 or go to portdiscovery.org.

Here's our tip sheet on how to make kids' birthday parties a little greener. Thanks in particular to Laurel, who contributed lots of good ideas. A bonus of this list is that using it should also save you money.

--Green invitations. On her blog, Heather of EnviroMom suggests using Evite or recycling old art projects to make invitations.

--Greener gift wrap. Use recyclable plain paper to wrap gifts and have your children decorate them. Or, steal this great idea from Parent Hacks: Conceal your gift in a reusable shopping bag (which becomes part of the gift -- a double "green" effect when the recipient uses it at the store). Or give reusable shopping bags as parting gifts (see below).

--Or, skip the gifts, as Marc Nelson Jr. suggests. One way to keep people from bringing them anyway -- as I've seen happen -- is to ask for gifts of food for the hungry, or of puzzles or games to be donated to children who don't have any. (You'll want to make sure your birthday child is in step with this plan ahead of time, of course.)

--Reuse party ware. If your kids are small and/or you have more than one, you have lots of parties ahead of you. Do as Laurel suggests and buy washable plastic cups and plates and commercial-grade silverware you can use each time. Use your own tablecloths, or pick up used cloths at a thrift store if you're worried about stains.

--Imaginative decorations. As Laurel suggests, instead of buying pricey decorations, you can probably use some of your kids' own toys.

--Greener activities. You can make your own play dough for younger kids to use at the party and/or take home; here are a couple of recipes. Older kids might arrange to clean up a playground or school grounds, or do a project as a nature preserve, as part of the party. Or, have a scavenger hunt for items found in nature.

--Greener parting gifts. Instead of goodie bags, have the guests make their own thank-you gifts as a party activity. Or, as one of my friends did recently, collect gently used children's books from your household (or visit a source like The Book Thing) and tell the kids to choose one as they leave. For spring parties, consider giving each child a flower pot, some soil and seeds, and having them plant their gift at the party to take home.

Sources for some eco-friendly party supplies, and a few other ideas, can be found at the Nature Moms Blog.

Do you have other ideas to share? I'd love to know what you've done at your own parties.