“Religious gatherings can be a challenge for families with young children. They are usually designed for adults. Nearly all the words and concepts may go right over your child’s head. Typically, the program includes prayers, where an atmosphere of reverence is expected; a sermon (sometimes quite long!) where quiet is essential so that others can hear; and singing, where the words and music may be difficult or unfamiliar. And if worship is important to us, we don’t want our child to hate it!

 The best guide I know for parents facing the challenge of bringing kids to worship is in a little book called Going to Church with Children, by Stan Stewart, Pauline Stewart and Richard Green, published in Australia in 1989 and now out of print. It uses the acronym “CALM SHEEP” as a framework for planning ahead for success at your family’s house of worship.

 CALM is for teaching children about worship. SHEEP is a set of practical tips for once you get there.

C is for “Calm them at home.” Family life needs to provide quiet times and show that it values them, so that children understand what is meant when they are asked to be quiet in church.

A is for “Anticipate.” Learn what stories and themes your church will be featuring this week or this month, and go over them with your children ahead of time, so they will know what to look for. Plan ahead so that getting out the door isn’t stressful. Pack a “worship bag” with quiet toys, books, non-messy snacks, and wipes.

L is for “Love worship.” Watch how you, as parents, talk about worship: do you give the message that it’s a chore and a bore, or that it’s not for children anyway, that their only role is to keep quiet till it’s over? Your child will pick that up. Instead, convey feelings of reverence and awe; tell stories of cherished worship experiences in your own life. In church, be a teacher. Encourage your children to notice things that are happening around them, to learn what is coming next, to take part as they are able.

M is for “Music.” Expose children at home to the music they will hear in church. Learn the words of hymns and songs that are used frequently. Teach them the special reading skills for negotiating your congregation’s hymnal.

S is for “Sit with care.” Find a place where children can see and hear, and from which they can reach an exit with a minimum of fuss. Plan your family’s seating arrangement to keep peace.

H is for “Helpers.” A great benefit of belonging to a faith community is that it expands your child’s circle of caring. Teens and older adults may enjoy getting to know your child, or he or she may enjoy sitting with the family of a friend. Kids often behave better with people who are not their parents! This may be one way that your faith community can help you, by giving you back some breathing time during worship.

EE is for “Exit when necessary” and “Enter again when ready.” Sometimes a distressed child needs a break. Lengthy whispered conflict and elaborate shushing are more disruptive than a quick, simple exit. But make the time-out brief and businesslike: it’s not a vacation or play time. Remind your child that you want to be with your worshipping family, and your child is part of that family too.

 And P is for “Persevere.” Children will sometimes whine and complain. They do that about a lot of things. Going to worship is not all golden moments, for either parents or kids. That is no reason to give up. Good luck!"

Do you have tips for what worked with your children in a worship setting? Please share them.