One of the things I wish I had known: if people want to hold the baby, LET THEM. Take the opportunity to eat or take a nap or catch up on something while you have the chance. With my first, I was always wary of imposing on people. But with number two, if they asked to hold her, I'd hand her over and say, "See ya! I'm going to go get a sandwich."

Also--speak up if visitors are getting to be too much. After baby number one, most of our family descended on us and then stayed for HOURS. My delivery was rough and I would rather have been sleeping. After baby number two, even though I felt okay, I made sure to tell people that I wasn't up for visitors and we'd see them in a couple of weeks.

Also, I spent a few days before the birth of number two cooking things that freeze well. I didn't have to put much effort into cooking dinner for a good 2 weeks and that really helped.

Wish I'd know: I totally OVER-prepared for labor and delivery, and UNDER-prepared for the next six weeks. I somehow forgot that I would be healing and would need to factor that into my expectations of what I could and couldn't do. Can't drive for six weeks? Really? At least for labor and delivery, I had drugs and medical professionals on hand, and it was over in 12 hours. Every day of the first six weeks I really thought I just couldn't do it.

Let's see - we are headed down the homestretch. 7 weeks and counting. It looks like the list of 10 things we wished we'd known is getting started already, but I'm still up for just about anything. Bring it on.

Good to hear from you!

Baby gear that is great:
*a mirror for the car that goes on the backseat so that you can see the baby
*a sling or other baby wearing device
*some soothing music that you like to listen to but will also help the baby
*California Baby Calendula Cream for cradle cap and dry peeling skin
*A glider/rocker/comfy chair for nursing, rocking, napping

Good luck!

Gear (more for toddlers than infants):

- rechargeable batteries and a battery charger

- a cordless "dustbuster" type vacuum

I found the first couple weeks actually easier than the next several months. If I knew, I would have scheduled the family to come and "help out" later, rather than right away. Little babies sleep a lot, so have someplace to lay them down in your living area. I loved my rolling bassinet for this reason. You need a comfy chair and ottoman for all those times baby (and you) fall asleep in the chair. I got a big, soft, upolstered chair that I could later move to the living room and love it; so glad I didn't bother to get the glider with wooden arms. The whole "rocker" emphaisis seems overblown. If you are breast feeding, consider getting a "nursing bracelet" to help keep track of feedings and of course a Boppy. The only other indispensable things are the Baby Bjorn for later walks and a cozier soft sling, for at home when they are really little and fussy. I could go on and on. My first is 15 months and it's all still pretty fresh in my mind.

This is a great subject! There are several things I can not live without with my second child:
travel formula dispenser
excersaucer
a bumbo seat
snap and go stroller
toys that attach to the handles of the carrier
handheld video monitor

I wish that I had had a list for what works for my kids rather than trial and error, but my first had much different preferences than my second child and the same goes for advice from friends and others!

This isn't really gear, but it was indispensable for me, "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It comes as a book or a DVD. I recommend the DVD because when you have a newborn, you don't have time to read books :) Also, the new mom's group at GBMC run by Deedee. She made me a better mom.

Best piece of baby gear: The Ultimate Crib Sheet - the best waterproof crib sheet, because unlike the others is covers the entire crib and snaps around the slats. It makes changing the crib sheet waaayyy easier - really you rarely need to change the fitted sheet, just quickly unsnap this cover - get 2!

Most useless piece of baby gear: a wipes warmer - you don't want to get the baby used to always having a warm wipe, you won't always be home to use them, and really they don't get that cold anyway.

Most useless advice: When I would tell people in the last weeks of pregnancy that I was not sleeping well because I was uncomfortable and had to use the bathroom 10 times throughout the night, everyone's response was "Oh, that's to prepare you for the nights you won't sleep when the baby comes" That doesn't make me feel any better or less tired. A simple "sorry, that sucks" would have been better.

Best advice: The rule of "this too shall pass". When you are completely drained and clueless and tired and frustrated and done, remember that this (tiredness, crying, whatever) can't last forever, and it's just a stage you and the baby have to go through, so keep that in your mind as the light at the end of the tunnel!

Ten pieces of baby gear you'll actually use
- A great rocker. I got one of those big squishy foamy ones.
- A dog walker - someone to walk the darn dog
- Breast pads
- Breast pump
- Ice packs (yup - lots of them)
- That little vibrating baby chair saved me - we had two, one for the bathroom so I could shower and one for the livingroom
- Very comfy pajama-like clothing to leave the hospital - I was so sore! Also, I used the hospital gowns for the entire stay instead of staining my own clothes with lanolin etal

Ten things we wish we'd known when having our first babies.
- I fired the housecleaner (sorry) because she could never come when the baby wasn't sleeping and I had to pick up the clutter before she came. It just didn't work.
- You have to train you husband and tell him to do things. Don't be mad if you have to ask.
- Lanolin is great for nipples but stains everything
- Ignore the mess and sleep whenever possible. You are not lazy. The floors look fine. Go to bed.
- If people don't offer help, ask for it and tell them specifically what you need
- I had a doula for the second week but I wish I had her for the first, too (a family member). She fed me, helped with breastfeeding, walked the dog (no kidding), turned the ringer off the phones, told my husband what to do.
- Get rid of the pacifier at 6 months (best thing I ever did)
- Baby bargains is the best book - I learned a ton about what you need and don't. I also had friends help me build my wish list with very practical things.
- Have several changing stations around the house because those little newborns need about 18 changes/day.
- Girls can pee on you as easily as boys. Be alert : )
- Transfer the baby from your room to their own crib as early as you can. I did it at 3 months and we both slept for 6 hours straight. Then I wondered why I hadn't done it sooner

The shower is in 2 weeks, so I just added a few of the items suggested here to our list! So helpful!

I second the breastpump, if you plan to breastfeed. I struggled with mastitis while nursing both my babies, and the pump provided much-needed relief.

Also, I like having a variety of places to put my 6-month old when I cannot hold him. The variety keeps him entertained. He likes his vibrating bouncy seat, his swing, his walker (yes, these can be dangerous, so you have to be careful), his play pen, and tummy time on a blanket.

I'd stay away from pacifiers, myself, though I know some parents really like them for their babies. I just feel that it's a bad idea to mess with that link between suckling and food.

Breastfeeding was the hardest thing I've ever done. If you plan to do it, be ready for difficulties. Hopefully, you'll get lucky and it will be easy. If it's not easy, it's almost certain to become so if you can just hang in there!!

I like baby carriers (baby bjorn, for example) far more than strollers. The latter is inconvenient all too often.

If people want to help you, ask them to bring food. It's so nice not to cook. Our friends brought carry-out meals to us for the first week and it was great!

An important thing to know for labor and delivery - no one can make you do anything you don't want. The hospital staff may not like it (they were annoyed when I refused an IV), but it's your body.