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April 1, 2008

Father's Day Tuesday: A third child takes the wheel

 Kevin Cowherd

Today's Guest Dad is probably well known to many of you; he's Sun columnist Kevin Cowherd, a father of three. Here's his post:

"What do they say about parenting that third child? You’d let him (or her) juggle chainsaws? But how do you feel about handing over the car keys?

"If it’s true that many parents are overly-cautious with their first child, loosen up considerably when the second comes along and adopt an oh-what-the-hell attitude with the third, that doesn’t necessarily hold true when the youngest gets his driver’s license. In fact, there's even more to worry about when every teen seems to be talking or texting on a cell.

"Our 16-year-old, Jamie, has been driving for five months. He’s a good driver and has his own car, generously handed down by his older brother. Still, my wife and I worry. And we grill him about his driving like he’s an al-Qaida operative.

"We want to know where he’s going at all times. We limit who he can have in the car with him. He has to call when he gets to his destination, and again when he’s leaving. One of us stays up until he’s home, and thank God the state mandates that new drivers can’t drive after midnight. We also told him if we ever see him driving and talking on his cell phone, we’ll take the keys away and he won’t drive again until he’s 35.

"Come to think of it, we’d be less stressed out if he was juggling chainsaws."

How are you monitoring your teen driver these days, and what rules have you put on his or her cell phone use when driving? Please tell us by posting a comment below. 

(Sun photo of Kevin Cowherd)

 

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:42 AM | | Comments (5)
Categories: Father's Day Tuesday, Teens
        

Comments

It's insane that kids are allowed to drive in this country. In every other civilized country in the world, the driving age is 18. And even then, the driving tests are incredibly rigorous. Instead, in this country, there's this attitude that everyone has a "right" to drive. It's not a right, people; it's a privilege. And one that's granted far too easily and irresponsibly in the U.S.

With the statistics on teenage car wrecks -- let alone teenage drunk driving -- clear as day, it simply doesn't make any sense that 16- and 17-year-olds are allowed to drive. Yet parents follow along blindly, handing kids the keys to the car without a second thought. Even the astronomical cost of car insurance (totally justified) doesn't deter them.

But what the heck? It'll never change. No matter how many kids bash in their skulls -- or those of the rest of us -- on the roads, nothing will change.

Wow. I'm not going to pretend all kids are angels out there and are deserving of getting their license at 16 or 17 but that is a pretty broad generalization to make of all teenagers and their driving habits.

I got my license at 16 and was extremely careful because I didn't want hurt myself, or anyone else, and lose my driving privledges. I have never, and am now 30, driven drunk in my life. How many adults are convicted over and over again of DUI's and DWI's and are handed the keys over and over to continue with their alcohol binges? How many adults drove drunk even just once and hurt or killed someone? How many adults have you seen on Baltimore higways with road rage? How many elderly people have you seen driving below the speed limit, over the yellow lines or completely on the wrong side of the road? I don't think age alone can be the determining factor on what makes a good or safe driver...Perhaps we should retest people, especially as they age, to determine their competency on the road. And if you are convicted of a DI, etc...lose the license. DOn't keep given these slaps on the wrist and say better luck next time.

I looked up a few statistics on drunk driving while I was thinking about it since that was singled out.

The only year I could pull a comparison on was 2003.

Total fatalities in MD 2003: 649
Total alcohol related fatalities: 281

Total fatalities kids 15-20 in 2003: 94
Total alcohol related: 40

For alcohol related instances alone, teens don't even make up half the number of deadly instances the adults are responsible for. Drinking and driving is WRONG whether you are a teen or adult. But I think singling out teen drivers because they are teenagers is really too broad generalization to make. (See the other accident scenarios I cited before.)

Well, of course, not ALL teens are lousy drivers, just as not ALL adults are good drivers. You might as well say that just because some 14-year-olds would be good drivers, therefore all 14-year-olds should be allowed to drive (I'm sure there are people out there who believe this). We have to have a cut-off point somewhere. Sure, you can argue that age is an arbitrary marker; but since 18-year-olds are subject to getting blown up in Iraq, I don't think we can deny them the chance to drive. In general, which is the only logical way to talk about social norms, 16-year-olds and 17-year-olds are still too immature, irresponsible, and prone to peer pressure to drive.

As for statistics, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, teenage drivers have the highest crash risk of any group. Car accidents account for one-third of all deaths of 16- to 18-year-olds. That's pretty whopping. And the only reason the number isn't higher is because of graduated driver-licensing laws, which delay granting a full license until a teen spends a certain amount of time with a parent or is permitted to drive only under certain conditions. These restrictions, which have been implemented in states all over the country, have helped reduce the number of fatal crashes by teens -- since 1993, by 23%. The risk goes up exponentially when a teen driver is accompanied by other teenagers in the car. Teens are still involved in about twice as many crashes as 30- to 59-year-olds.

You're 16 or 17 and want to drive? Fine. Pay for your own car insurance out of your own pocket instead of running to Mommy and Daddy to take care of it for you. That'll change the statistics real quick.

And yes, I'm all for requiring people to continue passing driving tests, especially as they're getting older, before they can continue to hold a license. And yes, of course, I'm in favor of stricter laws pertaining to drunk driving -- for all people.

But the bottom line is that in this country none of these things will ever happen because, as I said before, driving is looked upon as a right, not a privilege. Good grief, the mere fact that we've been having debates in state legislatures about talking on cellphones while driving, and texting while driving -- my god, the idiocy of it. We have to fight to convince people that -- duh -- you can't drive and text at the same time. You can't do two things at once, even though you think you're superhuman and oh so responsible and it's only everyone else out there who can't do what you do.

Driving tests in this country are ridiculously easy to pass, driving privileges are taken for granted. And the attitudes of too many people, of all ages, when some driver does something monumentally stupid and dangerous, is a wink and nod and a tsk-tsk.

I think we can agree that law makers are not going to reduce the driving age any time soon whether or not it is looked upon as a privledge or right. While there are rules (like the no driving after midnight) it is unlikely additional rules will be implemented, or current rules extended for additional years, any time soon.

And we can probably also agree that not every police officer is going to pull over a teen, or young person whose age is debatable, to determine whether or not they are breaking said rules. In the case of teen drivers, it really comes down to the parents being involved and making them responsible for their actions.

My father was diligent with my brother and I. For the entire first year we had licenses, he made us drive every where we went as a family. I was not allowed to drive friends anywhere unless he was also in the car. So if it was Friday night and I wanted to go to the movies, he rode with us in the car. Then he left and came back later, allowing me to drive home but was in the car. I hated it at the time but realized later how smart it was. He also took me to a parking lot during the massives snowstorms of '96 and made me drive around backwards for an hour. Reasoning? If you can drive backwards in the snow, without being scared or slipping all over, you can do it forwards and be safe.

Laws will never be passed about texting and driving because essentially, they would have to pass the law that you can not do anything else while driving which is how it should be anyway. But people drink coffee, eat tacos, read the paper, put on make-up etc all the time. Texting while driving is just the newest distraction.

We are at the point with drunk driving that basically the only way to remedy it is install the breathalizers in all vehicles that won't allow them to start if you've been drinking. Why wait until people have proven they can't be trusted and are charged with multiple DUI's? But that too would be vetoed and anger people who think it's an unfair practice even though it would make the roads safer. And there is always that genuis who has someone else breathe in the device for them. Why anyone agree to do it I'll never know but just last year there was a report of a woman who made her CHILD do it. Of course he/she didn't know any better.

As said above, not all teens are bad drivers and not all adults are good drivers. The unfortunate thing is we will never be able to identify who is good vs. bad based on a driving test at the MVA. People are trying to be good and are paying strict attention to the rules there. I don't know how we police the streets for bad/unsafe drivers when state/city budgets don't have any room to allow for additional officers for such patrols.

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About Hanah Cho
Hanah Cho joined The Baltimore Sun in 2003, just a few years out of college. While covering everything from education to workplace issues to financial services, she also got married and became a first-time mom in December 2009. Now, she’s trying to juggle work and life demands without losing her sanity.

She lives in Columbia with her husband and infant son.

Kate Shatzkin authored Charm City Moms until June 18, 2010.
Follow @charmcitymoms on Twitter
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