If you have a child with special needs, you sure as hell better be a helicopter parent. Given the way the Special Education law is structured (as an unfunded federal mandate), backing off or trying to strike some sort of balance with teachers and/or administrators may result in your child getting the short end of the stick. For disabled kids, the parent always needs to argue for the full loaf. Only then will the system cough up the half to which the child is entitled. The first 18 years of life are probably the only period where a person's needs are given some priority by society and the law. After that, it's reversed. Helicopter on, folks, helicopter on.

If you're a parent to a special needs kid in BCPSS you need more than being a helicopter parent. You need a lawyer. IEP meeting after IEP meeting my spouse and I brought up concerns and problems and requests and were always given an "uh-huh, we'll get right on that..." with of course no results. A lawyer saying the same things and BAM! everything changes. Way expensive, but one of the best investments I've ever made.