Last week Susan K, a single mom, wrote for help with her 12-year-old. He's very smart, she said, but "lazy" when it comes to school. She's tried both punishment and incentives (like letting him pick their summer vacation destination) to get him to do better, but nothing has worked.

I called Douglas MacIver, a principal research scientist who studies middle schools at the Johns Hopkins University's Center for the Social Organization of Schools, and the father of boys who are in eighth and ninth grade right now. He suggests going in another direction: Harnessing your kid's passion.

"What do they dream about doing when they grow up?," MacIver asks. "For a child who spends a lot of their time watching Animal Planet, let's say, and who whenever they go to library checks out all the animal books they can find, if either the parent or a teacher can when possible make some of those natural connections between what some of their passions are and what they are learning about, it makes a huge difference. Too often, the teachers don't know their kids even well enough to make those natural connections."

The key, MacIver says, is to try to bring the passion to the classroom. If possible, Susan might ask for a meeting with her son's team of teachers to talk about what they have already tried with him, and what they see as his interests. "Explore with the teachers for how many of the assignments is there a choice, an opportunity to do something related to what you're interested in," MacIver says. Then ease up on punishments and inducements, and focus on helping the child get excited about his chosen project for that quarter of the school year.

MacIver also suggests getting some other adults involved -- especially someone who is doing now what Susan's son might dream of doing someday. That person might be able to explain to her son how what he learns in school now is relevant to following his interests later, in a way that Susan can't.

"Once children do reach early adolescence, they will often take some guidance from a mentor that they won't take from a parent," MacIver says. "Sometimes the homework battle or the effort battle will be where the child will be resisting for reasons that have nothing to do with school. It's just an arena to fight some other battle that the parent and the child are fighting." A summer camp that focuses on something her son is interested in might provide opportunities for him to explore those interests while meeting some mentors.

Do you have other ideas for Susan? Please let us know by commenting below.

(Photo of Douglas MacIver, courtesy of Douglas MacIver)