On tonight's America's Got Talent, 10 of the Top 20 chosen by the judges will perform. We're of course keeping a close eye on Bel Air, Md.'s Julienne Irwin, a 14-year-old singer who wowed the judges in the initial rounds.
She seems to have caught the producers' eyes, too, since she is the first person introduced for tonight's performances. This makes me think she will perform first, but it is not to be.
Instead, it's Johnny Lonestar, the cowboy with the ropes. He performs to "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy," and in his big finish, he ropes the judges. It's fun, but I just can't see wanting to see this again and again.
Next is Julienne, who is the youngest contestant this year. In her intro, she calls herself "a small-town girl who lives in a farmhouse." She goes on, "A few weeks ago, I was in my room singing to myself and now singing for millions of people. ... Judges told me to find my own voice. I've been practicing every day." She's going to sing "Bless the Broken Road." She sounds like she's been working hard, with just a couple of raw patches (and hey, she's untrained, so not too shabby), and she looks totally self-assured on stage despite her age. (Shades of American Idol's Jordin Sparks?) Judge Piers Morgan says she put on "an amazing performance." Judge Sharon Obsborne calls her a great role model, that she is beautiful, dresses appropriately and has talent. Judge David Hasselhoff says, "I have absolutely no doubt you are going to the next round; I wish I was voting." Host Jerry Springer adds his two cents about her talent, too. Yeah, I think they like her. As well they should.
Magician Kevin James (not actor/comedian Kevin James who will probably soon be very embarrassed about I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry) is next. He guarantees people will be talking about his gory act tomorrow. He does a thing with a disembodied hand that later grabs a towel, and then he drinks a beer? I don't know; I kept waiting for something to happen. Piers gives him the "X." Hasselhoff says he was still waiting for the payoff.
Robert Hatcher, a 26-year-old singer for Cincinnati, says this show is his ticket "out of the sewer" (where he currently works). He sings Whitney Houston's "Run to You." This is my first time hearing him since I don't watch this all that often. He does great in the big notes, but seems to have some issues with some of the more subtle notes. Piers says he didn't think he stood a chance with this lineup tonight, but he changed his mind. Sharon says he sang like a star, but that he had too many hand movements and theatrics, but overall, "You're a star." David Hasselhoff says he "gets right to our heart."
Jonny Come Lately, a "teenage rockabilly band," is next. One of the kids (they're all 15) says their goal is to become a band like, "the Stray Cats, Sublime, the Beatles." That is pretty eclectic. They perform "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." It's very, very fast, except for one slow part. The girls (at least the tweens) go crazy. Piers says he wants to hear them do something more contemporary so they sound less like they are mimicking other acts. Sharon notes that the bass broke or something (the cord fell out? Is that what he is saying?), and she says they were still really good. David says they had raw energy the first time, and tentative and rehearsed the second time. He says if they get voted through, they need to "go crazy out there."
"Bollywood dancer" Kashif performs next. Piers gives him the "X." OK, so he is, what? Lip-syncing and dancing a routine from a Bollywood movie? It seems more like a high-school talent show skit, not a "No. 1 show in the country" routine. It's fun, but, like the cowboy guy, not for repeated consumption. Piers says he has no talent and the personality of a "flat pancake," and "you dance worse than I do." Sharon says Piers is small-minded and that before the end of the year, everyone is going to be doing the Kashif dances in all the clubs. Hasselhoff: "Kashif, I can think of a dream, a bad dream, that my career is over and I'm now in Bollywatch, and when I looked up there, it looked like Baywatch ... I don't know, on acid. And, you know what you, are a charming guy, you mesmerized me last time ... May the Bollywood be with you."
Butterscotch is classically trained as a piano player, and she's a beatboxer. She performs her take on "Summertime." She somehow manages to sing and beatbox at the same time -- it's perplexing, but cool. Piers says he hates her outfit, but the good news, "You are, without, one of the most gifted acts." Sharon says she just wished she hadn't started with the trumpet noise, "because it sounded like a fly." Hasselhoff says, "If I was a betting man, and I am, I think you're going to win this competition."
Sideswipe combines martial arts and acrobatics and dance in its performance. I don't really have much else to say about it because that's exactly what they do. (Also, I'm a little bitter because I pulled a muscle in tae kwon do a couple of hours ago and can't even think about doing any of what they are doing right now.) It's a fun combination of things, but it gets a little too Chippendales cheesy for me when they rip off their shirts. Piers says if they add more dance, it will move from sports to entertainment. Sharon only discusses their oily bodies. The Hoff says he thinks every girl in America will vote them through because of their abs.
Manuel Romero is 18 and has sung for "a pope and a president," according to Springer. He sings "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman." To my ear, he sounds a little nasally. Piers says he has everything going for him, but that he needs to really "go for it," because it felt like he was holding out. Sharon says he is confident and owns the stage. Hasselhoff: "Man, you've got it. ... Bring us to you!"
Last are the Glamazons, who will be singing "Hot Stuff." They look cute and deliver an engaging performance. Piers says if they are looking for hot stuff later, "I am available." He goes on, "I am so sick and tired of the only role models for young girls being stick-insect models and celebrities. You girls are single-handedly proving big is beautiful, big is sexy and big is talented." Sharon says they are comfortable with themselves and if she had had their confidence she wouldn't have had all of her fat "sucked out." Hasselhoff thanks them.
I think Julienne is definitely safe, even though half of tonight's acts will be cut. Kevin James wasn't that great, Johnny Lonestar is a little too warm-up act, Kashif isn't really performing anything original, and Julienne was better than most of the other singers. What did you think, and who are you voting for?