It really looked for a bit there like Jaison was going home on last night's Survivor. In the immunity challenge, he was worn out and couldn't help push the boat or figure out the puzzle. He even admitted his weakness at tribal council, which is usually a sure-fire way to get your fire extinguished.

But Russell had his sights on Liz, and he got his way. She was a good competitor, but questioning Russell put her on his radar and a handful of moments of showing her frustration made a handy excuse for everyone else. But really, could you blame her for getting irritated when she was desperately trying to start the fire while Natalie and visiting-from-Galu Laura blabbed about Harleys and books? On the other hand, Russell wasn't wrong when he said that Natalie was doing the right thing trying to woo Laura since they're having such a severe numbers problem.

So is this alliance between Laura and Russell the real deal, or is she just stringing him along so he doesn't target him at the merge? Playing the men-are-superior card, whether she believes it or not, was probably the exact right move with Russell since he has a problem with women who question him.

So farewell, Liz. But now I can't wait to see what happens at the merge.

John-John Williams IV reports on this week's America's Next Top Model:

Erin started the episode lamenting about her disastrous Covergirl commercial from the week before. And for good reason, she was in the bottom two last week.

Tyra met the girls at their house to tell them that they needed to tidy up. She pointed out ants, dirty dishes, and scattered clothes. I was fully expecting Tyra to go on a huge tantrum about respecting the house. Instead she told the girls she was condemning the house, which would force them to take a trip to Hawaii. The girls quickly packed, boarded a plane, and were on their way.

After settling into their new ultra fabulous digs, and sharpening their claws – Erin and Brittany hate each other-- the girls met Sofia Beschen, a petite model and surfer, and Buzzy Kerbox, a surfer and model. The girls learned how to surf by the model-surfers. The girls were suppose to learn body control with their surfing lesson.

 

 

Mr. Jay Manuel met the girls and told them that they would be charged with posing on surfboards with male models for the day’s photo challenge, which Erin won. As a result, she was allowed to pick Brittany and Nicole to take a helicopter tour of Maui. Erin later complained that she didn’t win a tangible prize, and the other girls were so disgusted with her complaining. Meanwhile, Laura was tending to her sunburns that she suffered from the day’s photo shoot. She was worried that her reddish skin would negatively affect her in the next day’s photo shoot.

The next day, the girls learned that they were going to be photographed again by Tyra. Tyra informed the girls that they were going to pose as mix of two ethnicities. Laura was Mexican and Greek. She was a little shaky at first. But after asking for a quick pointer from Tyra, Laura turned her photographs into praise-worthy efforts. Erin was Tibetan and Egyptian. (Tyra didn’t appear too impressed with Erin’s performance. She called it very commercial. That’s not good at all.) Sundai was Morrocan and Russian. (Mr. Jay said that Sundai nailed her photo shoot.) Brittany was Native American and East Indian. (Tyra said that Brittany was a little stiff.) Jennifer was Batswana and Polynesian. (Tyra said that Jennifer was a mess. Ouch. But after a quick pointer from Tyra, she came alive.) Nicole, who was Malagasy and Japanese, could do no wrong. She looked phenomenal. (The judges later agreed calling her performance “stunning.”)

The next day at judging, the girls were introduced to guest judge supermodel Kirsty Hume. Nicole was judged to have the best photo of the bunch. The bottom two was comprised of Brittany and Erin. Tyra said that: Brittany had formulaic photos; and Erin had been self sabotaging herself.

Brittany said she was hurt. She thanked Tyra for the opportunity. She later said she was going to continue, and that the show was a jumping off point for her.

Do you think that after realizing that baseball is going to mess up their schedule so much that the producers of So You Think You Can Dance are regretting this whole fall season thing?

It sure messed me up. I was still out of town (but that vacation is over now, and I am back, readers!) and didn't even realize they were doing that special episode on Monday or that there wasn't a results show this week until I was catching up on the DVR yesterday. (Bad blogger, BAD!)

But now I am all caught up, and all I can say is: Wow. I loved the show introducing the Top 20 and giving them all a chance to dance in their style before the votes start coming in. The big group performance and all of the genre performances were fabulous and finally got me pumped about this season.

And the first competition show was pretty excellent, too. But again, what drama! I was so sad to hear that Billy Bell is out of the competition -- he was already one of my favorites, and I hope he's doing OK with whatever illness he is fighting. Noelle Marsh was also sidelined -- she injured her knee and was unable to compete, sitting on the sidelines with her leg in a giant brace.

I won't go one by one through the performances (though I will be back with that next week), but some of them were spectacular. I loved the goofy Dave Scott hip-hop routine with the caveman theme and the Sonya Tayeh fallen angel routine, in particular. I felt bad for Russell, who had to perform his foxtrot with the co-choreographyer, Melanie LaPlatin, instead of Noelle. Here's hoping she's well enough to return next week.

I'm hoping, too, that Nigel doesn't keep up with the whole "this empty chair is for Paula Abdul" thing for the rest of the season. I assume he's being so public about it because she really is coming to the show in one capacity or another, but who knows.

Besides Billy Bell, the person I felt the worst for was Brandon -- he doesn't make the Top 20, he watches the episode  in which he gets cut, he gets a phone call that he's in, rallies and learns a ballroom dance with a new partner in very little time, performs and then gets cut. What a roller coaster. Interesting that Nigel says they are going to try to change the rules to let him in the Top 20 in the future if he makes the cut since he kind of got screwed over by all this madness. Along with Brandon, dancer Ariana Dubose was also cut.

What did you think about this crazy week on SYTYCD?

 

Hey gang, Liz and Justine here again for another week of Top Chef recapping.

We're getting down to the wire. Only seven cheftestants remain after last week's much-anticipated Restaurant Wars episode. Everyone seems pretty nervous in the previews for this episode, and there's always the chance someone we hate will go home, so we're excited. There was also a cameo by actress Natalie Portman (does anyone remember anything else she's been in besides Star Wars and Garden State?). Celebrity guests usually bring a curveball with them, so let's hope Natalie delivers.

Enough with the swooning over Natalie Portman. On to the cooking!

Poor Jen. She did terribly last week (who cooks that much seafood to order?) and is trying to psych herself up for this week's challenges. Good luck, honey. You're coming unraveled, and we can all see it. On the other side of the delusion spectrum, Robin was thrilled with how her team prevailed during Restaurant Wars, mostly due to the Voltaggio brothers' leadership in the kitchen. Robin knows how to ride a mean coattail. But how long can it last?

Quickfire

Paul Bartolotta, an accomplished Italian chef, is the guest judge. The quickfire is one of the more creative and humorous challenges of the season. They have to give a gourmet makeover to a TV dinner. They draw knives to pick a show to inspire their dish -- Gilligan's Island, The Flintstones, Sesame Street, Seinfeld, Cheers, The Sopranos and M.A.S.H.). The cheftestants even serve their meals in little TV dinners. If knives weren't an issue, Justine would cook a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT for those in the know) because she loves pizza. Liz would cook a meal inspired by Full House -- basically, there would be huge portions and she'd invite John Stamos to dinner and only refer to him as Uncle Jesse. (We lost about 5 minutes getting sidetracked by John Stamos photos on the Google while spellchecking his name. Oops.

Robin was raised on health food and wasn't allowed to watch TV. The only things she knows about Sesame Street are that the characters had big eyeballs and lots of colors were involved. What kind of terrible parents don't allow their kids to watch Sesame Street?

Michael V. was flirting with Jen at the fridge! Jen compares herself to Pebbles and she goes on about Bamm-Bamm ... is Michael her Bamm-Bamm?!

Eli didn't eat TV dinners, and he pulled Gilligan's Island and has little idea what it's about. He went the tropical route, remarking "It smells like a Jimmy Buffet concert over here."

And Jerkface Mike said he's NEVER SEEN SEINFELD. Was he asleep during the '90s? That's just un-American. (Liz: "What a jerkface! That's enough for him to get sent home.")

Bryan V.'s M.A.S.H. meatloaf and mashed potatoes gets a MMM! From Padma (Cue celebration from Justine.)

On the bottom: Jen, Robin

On the top: The phenom that is Bearded Kevin, Bryan. And Kevin wins! He doesn't get immunity, but a version of his dish will be featured as a Schwan's frozen foods meal in their Top Chef line! (During the commercial break, Liz wanted to order 17,934 of his meals, but 1. They wouldn't fit in her normal-sized fridge and 2. The Web site was slow and underwhelming and features dishes from non-winning chefs. What a letdown, Bravo and Schwan's.)

Elimination challenge

We've reached the point in the competition where they skip the gimmicks and just let the cheftestants cook good food. They're going to Tom's Craftsteak restaurant at MGM Grand. They have to serve about 10 guests. Robin's worried that she isn't much of a steakeater. That shouldn't be all she's worried about.

(Did you notice that when the cheftestants were getting ready that Jen had a white sweatshirt that made it look like she had a neck brace?)

Back at the homestead, the boys have a strategy session about what kind of meat they're making (well, the boys minus the Voltaggio brothers). They're excited about making steak. How manly of them.

Off to the kitchen! Tom's beside himself as he introduces Natalie Portman. JFM's eyes shine as he checks her out. Eli introduces her by saying the most important thing she's done is Star Wars. But here's the rub -- she's a vegetarian. So the cheftestants have access to all sorts of meat, but they can't use meat of any sort. DUN DUN DUN!

Robin helpfully points out that "Vegetarians are people, too."

Eli and Jen flip a dehydrated slice of fruit or vegetable they found in the walk-in to decide who gets to cook with the bigger eggplants, and Eli wins. How cute and consistent with the challenge.

JFM is confident that he can please a vegetarian. We're skeptical that he can please anyone. He says his mom was a vegan. Let's hope (or not) he picked up some pointers from her.

Kevin's married! (Liz cried.) And he eats vegetarian during Lent, so it sounds like he's Catholic. He's worried that he won't have a dish to satiate the diner without a meat protein.

Eli would joke that vegetarians are lower human beings, but he's going to try to give them more than a vegetable medly.

They don't focus much on Bryan this episode, so we're optimistic that he's safe for the time being.

(Justine wonders why no one has decided to make pasta. Can vegetarians eat eggs? Does Craftsteak have no flour?) 

JFM decides to play off scallops in his preparation of leeks. He's having some trouble with the leeks, but he gives us a smarmy smile all the while.

Robin runs out of time before she finishes plating her stuff, so three plates don't get the fresh garbanzo beans. She makes some dramatic statement like that singular screw-up could send her home. If so, that'll be about three episodes too late.

They're serving Natalie Portman's friends. They look like normal people, not supermodels or actors.

Robin serves first, and the dish has too much salt. Tom didn't get any garbanzo beans, but the dish lacked balance in the seasoning. Padma said she could feel her ankles swelling. Was that because she's pregnant in this episode?

Eli serves next. His eggplant looks kind of like sushi. The texture is good and the salad is good, but the guest judge said he got some lavender flavor that was too strong and made him feel like he was sucking on a bar of soap in Provence.

Michael V. is stressed, but his dish is beautiful and very colorful. Natalie Portman was confused by the polenta with banana (Liz wants to try to make it) but the guests liked the taste. The larger chunks of banana are a little off-putting. It was a daring plate, and they recognized that. Michael was called Picasso … for the second time. Tom thought that was HI-larious.

Jen takes a chance and sauces her charred eggplant with braised fennel at the table and her hands are shaking. We totally expected her to dribble sauce on Natalie Portman's head or Padma's outfit. Gail loves the sauce. Natalie suggests it added a little danger to the presentation because of her shaking. They agree the dish was a beautiful side dish, but not an entree.

JMF's leeks are supposed to give a feeling of protein, but it smells like cabbage. They like the presentation, but he didn't execute the food well. The leeks were undercooked.

Bryan's plating isn't as professional as he would've wanted. There are some things that didn't make it onto the plate. The food seems like it's missing from the plate. (Did you catch the That's What She Said moment between Padma and Natalie? "We went from a little prick to big in your mouth," Tom said. Natalie: "That's what usually happens." Is this why the show is on at 10 p.m.?)

Bearded Kevin's dish isn't as pretty as he'd like. He makes a duo of mushrooms. The food feels more like an entree because it's meaty. Kevin's dish proves vegetarian food can be substantial.

There's a little intracommercial moment where the cheftestants are enjoying food from the guest judge's restaurant. Bearded Kevin seems to enjoy the food so much, it's rather charming.

Judges' Table

On the top: Kevin, Michael V. and Eli (Eli jokes as he's walking out of the stew room: "Did you guys call my name by accident?")

Michael V.'s dish reminded Tom about why you need to keep an open mind about food. Natalie was beaming like a school girl, Tom said.

Gail thought Eli's eggplant and lentils was great.

Kevin's smoked kale impressed Natalie. It was a mouthful of flavor and you didn't miss the meat, the judges said.

And Kevin wins! He gets a suite of GE appliances, but we didn't get a TA-DA! It's better than an autographed cookbook.

Michael V. is bitter and said he could've made Kevin's dish in 20 min. It looks like Michael V. isn't just catty and competitive when it comes to criticizing his brother's cooking.

On the bottom: Robin, Jennifer and Mike. (Weird: Bryan was totally left out of the judging. It's risky to not stand out this late in the game.)

JFM's didn't have a protein. He wanted the leeks to look like protein … but they don't have protein.

Robin throws JFM under the bus by saying she ALWAYS thinks of a protein and it's VERY IMPORTANT to have a protein. The dish had a protein, but since not everybody got them, it barely count. Does a few chick peas on a plate really count as protein? If we were vegetarians, we'd feel cheated.

Jen was so nervous that some of the guests might've worn the sauce. And sounds like she asks to leave by saying she'll try hard if she gets another chance but thanks them for the opportunity to be on the show. Tom says at this point in the competition the cheftestants get worn out, but the defeatist behavior is bad news.

Gail points out that JFM is arrogant. THANK YOU. Finally, someone's on our side. Tom wasn't impressed that he couldn't cook leeks in two hours.

Robin was not focused on the entire dish. Two parts of her dish were things she hadn't done before, and the judges agreed with Natalie that using them was a bad idea.

AND IT'S THE END OF JERKFACE MIKE! PACK UP YOUR KNIVES, SUCKER!

(Liz's neighbors must've heard our celebration. We scared the dog. And Liz's eyes were shining brilliantly while we wrote this.)

His little goodbye speech was still optimistic and cocky as always. We're glad to see losing Top Chef wasn't a humbling experience or anything. Hilariously, Robin lasted longer than JFM. That must have been the part that stung the most for him.

Predictions

Who's going home next: Justine thinks Jen's going to lose it. She's burnt out and nervous, but she hasn't been able to get over it and cook her own food. Liz doesn't think Robin can fool anyone anymore, unless next week is a team challenge.

Favorites: Justine sticks by Bryan; maybe her loyalty will pay off with an invitation to eat at Volt. Liz backs Bearded Kevin; she doesn't think he'll invite her to his restaurant in Atlanta, but a girl can dream. Maybe he can get her Eli's phone number.  

If you could cook a meal inspired by a TV show, what show would it be? What's your favorite Natalie Portman movie? What would you make for the Vegetarians? 

Also, will you be watching the Top Chef Reunion Dinner Special we saw previewed during the commercial breaks? Liz is excited to see what Marcel's been up to. We'll be watching and recapping all of the drama for you next week, since it's pre-empting our regular Top Chef viewing.

Another "Dancing With the Stars" results show. I'm going to keep the recap quick.

First up, Taylor Swift performs (such a showstopper compared to Norah Jones -- sorry, Norah). Then, we get a recap of last night's performance show. Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough finished at the head of the pack with a 26. There's a three-way tie at the bottom.

The bottom couple will go home; the next two at the bottom will compete head to head in a dance off. Those couples will get to choose the dance. Oh, DWTS, having to keep changing the way things are done, otherwise no one will watch the results shows anymore, except for recappers. (More faithful viewers: Has the show done this before? It hasn't during the results shows of seasons past that I've watched.)

The first couple we learn are safe are Joanna and Derek. They are joined by Mark Dacascos and  Lacey Schwimmer.

 

After some filler, we learn Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson are safe. So are Aaron Cater and Karina Smirnoff. After a commercial break, a performance by Tiempo Libre and some talk about designing costumes (yawn!), they are joined by Mya and Dmitry Chaplin and birthday girl Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel.

Taylor Swift sings her radio hit "Love Story." Then filler, filler, filler. Finally, the couple with the lowest combined total, who are leaving! right! now!, are Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas.

Dance off time. Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova do the samba. It's definitely a style that suits Michael. Judge Len Goodman says Michael has come alive. Overall, he says, it was enjoyable. Judge Bruno Tonlioli calls him a crowd pleaser. Judge Carrie Ann Inaba says the technical part wasn't quite there, but, again, it was enjoyable.

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower do the jive. Bruno says it was fast and there was energy, and there was also content. Carrie Ann says it was a good jive, but she expected more. Len says the couples didn't realize how important the dance was. He says it was sharp and clean, though.

Bruno says both did well, but that Louie and Chelsie had the edge. Len chooses to save Michael and Anna. Carrie Ann is the tiebreaker. She says she has to judge on what happened right now, not the whole season. She chooses Michael and Anna. Louie is sent packing.

Do you agree with the judges?

 

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars, it's all about waltzes, jitterbugs and a dance marathon. (By the way, still on the mini keyboard, so this won't be quite as detailed as usual.)

The first jitterbug of the night is from Mya and Dmitry Chaplin.  They have a lot of fun and bring more character than usual, which was their goal. Head judge Len Goodman feels like they spent too much time with props and intro. Bruno Tonioli says her style was spot on and her timing was incredible. Carrie Ann Inaba says she was expecting a little more character still. Scores: 8-7-9, for a 24/30.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas are doing the waltz. They prepare with Mark's mom, who is a hard core expert. She is working very hard in the  dance, but there is still a bit of awkwardness to her performance, and her acting of the character isn't quite believable. Bruno: "That wasn't good for Week 6. ... You looked like you were trying to remember what you were told." Ouch. But true. Carrie Ann says it wasn't gliding and fluid. Len says she was elegant and had musicality, but she had some technique problems. Scores: 7-7-6, for a 20/30.

Mark Dacascos and  Lacey Schwimmer are next on the jitterbug train. They do a trick-filled performance but there is a fair amount of dancing, too, so it's not only gimmicks. In short: way fun. Carrie Ann shouts woo and does a bunch of fist pumps. She does point out one stumble, though. Len: "Sometimes, less is more, but not in the jitterbug!" Bruno calls it truly spectacular except for one timing loss at the end. Scores:  9-9-8, for a 26/30

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff are hoping the waltz  suits them well enough to stay out of the bottom two. I get kind of distracted by Aaron's ginormous collar, but the performance is quite sweet, actually. Len says he danced with maturity, had a good frame and overall calls it his best dance so far. Bruno says the boy has become a gentleman, but points out a couple of times where he lost his footing. Carrie Ann loves the new, dignified Aaron. Scores: 8-9-8, for a 25/30

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova  are worried about this week's double elimination while they prepare for the waltz. In the performance, he looks more joyful than you usually see in the waltz, and he seems much more comfortable on the floor than usual. Bruno says this was not a premium waltz even though he was enjoying himself. Carrie Ann questions them about a possible lift but says the performance was charming. Len says he had the best footwork of any of the waltzes tonight -- "it was really, really good!" Scores: 6-8-6, for a 20/30

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel work on Kelly's confidence at trapeze school. Their jitterbug is very energetic and tons of fun. Carrie Ann says she brought fun back, but she stumbled a bit and showed when she made mistakes. Len says it was a little flat-footed and was a little disappointing. Bruno says it was cute and nice, but she needs to ignite the performance and sell it. Scores: 7-6-7, for a 20/30.

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower try to make up forst last week's lackluster performance by adding lots of tricks and more content. It ... kind of works, at times. Len says parts of it were fantastic, but other bits are ... "grundy(?)." Bruno says he loses his precision. Carrie Ann says she loved it, but he dropped his partner twice, which was not OK. Scores: 7-7-7, 21/30

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough are back together now that Derek's over the flu. Tom says after it's over that it's the "get a room dance of the season." Bruno: "what a performance!" Carrie Ann says the outside of her lines was good, but she still had hesitation at times. Len says her footwork wasn't too brilliant, but it was still the best waltz of the night. Scores: 8-9-9, for a 26/30.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson ramp up their performance with a bunch of tricks for this jitterbug, which seems to play to Donny's strengths (especially goofy fun). Carrie Ann says they know how to work a room, but they had some stumbles and some out of sync moments. Len says it was overall very entertaining. Bruno says at times it was like watching a steam engine trying to keep up with a bullet train. Scores: 8-8-8, for a 24/30.

Last performance of the night is the group mambo, aka the "first ever dance marathon for judges' ranking points." They will get tapped out if they aren't doing well enough. Michael and Anna are out first (2 points), then Louie and Chelsie (3), then Melissa and Mark (4), then Kelly and Louis (5), then Mark and Lacey (6), then Donny and Kym (7), then Aaron and Karina (8), then Mya and Dmitry (9), with the final standing being Joanna and Derek (10).

In danger: Pretty much everyone who got a 20, don't you think?

What did you think about the  episode?

Last Thursday's Survivor was crazy -- especially Russell the Unevil being medically removed from the game after fully passing out during a challenge. Usually when the game ends like that for someone and they don't do a vote at tribal council, it's pretty boring, but they came up with a new twist this time.

Even though no one was voted out, everyone came to TC and sat around the fire. First time that's ever happened, and it was a doozy of trash-talking.

I'm vacation-punting again and sending you to Jeff Probst's recap because he's got a lot more insight on all the medical drama. It's pretty interesting.

What did you think of the episode?

Last night's Amazing Race had the closest finish I have ever seen, and we've witnessed all-out sprints to the end. Has anyone ever quit a task because of fear like that before? Not that I can remember, and certainly not a WATER SLIDE.

Anyway, back to the beginning. The teams were in Dubai, and for the first challenge, they had to get to a yacht club, where one person would row a small boat out to another craft, where they would be given a watch. Their task was to figure out that the time on the watch was the code for opening a briefcase that they'd been given at the beginning of the leg. Most of the teams figured the code out no problem, but the Globetrotters got fixated on what numbers the hands were pointed to instead of the time and were in last place by the time they got done.

The next task was a choice: either assemble a bunch of hookahs (intricate pipes) or figure out the weight of $50,000 worth of gold, with the catch that the exchange rate was constantly changing -- oh, and that apparently math is hard. Brian and Ericka, in particular, actually went to the gold challenge, couldn't do the math, and left for the hookah challenge instead. Embarrassing!

Sam and Dan actually brought a calculator with them on the race, but they couldn't figure out the formula. Maria and Tiffany, however, could, and were there, so they worked together and got out fast. Meghan and Cheyne, who did the other challenge, maintained their first-place lead and got through the hookahs pretty fast, once they noticed their missing pieces on the ground.

Flight Time and Big Easy saw how many people were at the hookah challenge and decided to, um, go for the gold instead. I laughed and laughed when they dealt with the whole wishing they had a calculator thing by asking to borrow one, which totally worked.

They got through in time to reach the water slide, where Mika was having a complete and total meltdown about her fear of heights and water. She couldn't make herself take the six-story plunge (even with her FLOATIES ON. FLOATIES, PEOPLE), and Flight Time and Big Easy got to go ahead of them, did the slide, ran to the finish and came in second-to-last. Canaan finally decided to go down the slide first, hoping that would show Mika it was OK, but she walked down the stairs, and they walked to the finish mat, where they learned they were eliminated.

I'm not sorry to see them go. Why on earth would you decide to go on this race when you 1) don't run, 2) are afraid of water, 3) are afraid of heights and 4) are apparently unwilling to face those fears? Sorry, but for me, does not compute. I don't mean to be callous because clearly Mika was scared out of her mind -- it would take a lot to cause that much of a break with reality. But it was a water slide -- think of all the other crazy things people have faced on this show, and she fell apart because of a water slide. Yikes.

Guest poster Carla here. If you missed it over the weekend, Baltimore Sun restaurant critic and Dining@Large blogger Elizabeth Large took a trip out to Frederick to review Volt, restaurant of "Top Chef" contestant Bryan Voltaggio.

Large says: "But is his statement food worth the considerable price tag and the trek from Baltimore? Or is Volt an emperor's-new-clothes phenomenon?

"If you're serious about food and don't mind a touch of whimsy, the answer is: Yes, Volt is worth the trip and the cost."

Large describes goat cheese ravioli with a scattering of toasted pumpkin seeds, chanterelles and brown butter, and fresh halibut arranged with ruby quinoa, winter squash and marcona almonds.

Anyone want to go to dinner with me?

Photo of Bryan Voltaggio: SOTA dzine

 

This is probably a first, but I actually missed the reveal of the Top 20 on So You Think You Can Dance last night. (What can I say? I am taking this vacation seriously.)

People.com's TV Watch column has the rundown on the folks who made the cut, which you can read here.

I was glad to see that tap dancer Bianca and krumper Russell made the finals. Hoping for good things from b-boy Legacy, but I'm kind of worried he won't get far.

Did you watch? What did you think of the choices?

(Photo of SYTYCD host Cat Deeley at the D.C. auditions in 2008, taken by me)

Restaurant Wars is upon us, loyal readers! It's the most anticipated episode in any Top Chef season, and we (Justine and Liz) are back as your tour guides. Restaurant Wars is the challenge that tests a chef's muster in what should be their element: running a restaurant. But we've seen cheftestants fall in the past, whether it be due to a lackluster dessert offering or no charisma while working the front of the house. What will be this season's Restaurant Wars fatal flaw?

Enough with the speculating. On to the cooking! 

The start of each episode always lets us gain a little insight into each of the cheftestants. This week we learn Jen is really skinny and cooks wearing a bathing suit. Is she channeling her inner Baywatch babe? Is she hoping the show will come down to a viewer vote and she's trying to get the men of America on her side? Laurine (not wearing a bathing suit, btw) groups herself with the better chefs on the show; we beg to differ. Wise sage Bearded Kevin tells us the Voltaggio brothers argue all the time. They're competitive – Michael is the competitive one and Bryan tries to protect everyone. We've known this all along, but will it finally come to a head this week and mean one of them will have to pack their knives?

Quickfire

Guest judge is the "champion of conscious cooking" Rick Moonan. Bearded Kevin's restaurant in Atlanta is based on sustainability. Your beard is also sustainable, Kevin. Way to save the environment and not use razors.

The competition is a "tag-team cookoff" (by far the most creative quickfire this season, we thinks -- Justine hopes this innovation hasn't replaced her fave quickfire, the one where they test their palates and identify ingredients).  They draw knives and most are blank except two (that Jen and Michael draw). The chefs whose knives had 1st pick or 2nd pick on them are the leaders and get to pick their team. They have 40 min. to cook a dish – the first chef starts the dish and gets 10 min. to cook, they can't talk to their teammates and they have to wear blindfolds until it's their turn. The winning team gets $10,000 to split between the four of them. (Liz wants Eli to take her out to dinner if he wins. But then she thought about how he's a chef and doesn't need to take her out to dinner. What a conundrum.)

The teams shake out as Laurine, Jerkface Mike, Bearded Kevin and Jen are on one team, which leaves us with the brothers Voltaggio, Eli and Robin. Robin gets pick last for the kickball team (shock of shocks), and she's all, "They think of me as a mother." It's more that they think of you as a b word that rhymes with witch.

Bearded Kevin and Michael V. will run the last leg of the relay for their teams. Until then, they and the other blindfolded contestants will be sniffing air and speculating on what their team is doing.

It seems like with their blindfolds the contestants are sniffing the air to guess what they chefs before they are removed.

Both teams are pretty excited about their finished dishes, but it might just be relief that they actually put something out. The judges liked both teams, and the blue team headed by Jen wins. For those of you at home, that means (gasp!) the Brothers V.! didn't win. It was a high stakes quickfire, which means they won $10,000. But, since we are in Vegas, they chose to "let it ride" and win $10,000 each instead of they win the elimination challenge.

Elimination challenge

Restaurant wars! The Bravo producers were clever by dividing them in the quickfire and keeping those teams for the challenge. We couldn't remember how they chose the Restaurant Wars teams in past seasons. The biggest shock of Restaurant Wars this season is the cheftestants don't have to plan the decor of the restaurant! They aren't given some shoddy warehouse space or tent to turn into a restaurant. Instead, they take advantage of the two dining rooms and kitchens at the guest judge's place at Mandalay Bay. The cheftestants do have to worry about front of house, service and food. Another change: The front of house person also has to conceptualize a dish and is responsible for it. They can't think they're getting off easy by seating guests and being chatty instead of actually cooking.

The teams seem quite evenly matched, which seems surprising since the divide between the weak and the strong seems so apparent to us. Some of the cheftestants count Jerkface Mike among the better chefs this season. You know how we feel about that.

The blue team (headed by Jen) doesn't want to do a dessert, and Laurine says she knows things about working the front of the house. Jen's a student of Top Chefs past and says those who make dessert get sent home. 

The red team (Brothers V.!) goes for modern American concept restaurant. They do choose a dessert. There's a little tension between the brothers as Michael seems to take the lead and shoots down some ideas from Bryan. Will this finally be the alluded-to family drama the producers have been reminding us of all season?!

Stupid shopping moment comes when Robin makes a big to-do about how they want to be the only ones with sparkling water. Laurine agrees with us by saying they're not going to win with sparking water. Kick Robin off if she's deluded enough to think sparking water will save bad cooking. It's not Top Brita.

The red team (Brothers V.!) decide to call their restaurant Revolt! (The E is backwards. Like Toys 'R' Us. Clever, you Volt brothers. Is that what you called your fake restaurant when you'd play with your Easy Bake Ovens?) Bearded Kevin and Jen's team (blue) call it Mission. (Also, did you catch the glimpse of Bearded Kevin's chest tattoo?! Quite stunning. We don't think that's the pig tattoo, though.)

Robin gets all whiney because the Brothers V. don't  give her much credit. Michael says he doesn't want to insult her as a chef, but he believes she's out of her league now. Nice tact.

When Tom does his rounds in the kitchen, Jen is busy and behind – it seems she never wants to talk with him. (Liz would stop everything to chat up Chef Tom, for the record) Michael V. is pretty composed and confident. Justine admits he's so cute, but her allegiance lies with Bryan. There are bubbles of frustration between the Brothers V.!, including when Michael calls Bryan a dirty word.

Time for the judges to scrutinize the restaurants. Tom thinks Revolt is a terrible name (he thinks it sounds like "revolting"), but Tom and Padma adorably fight over wanting to eat more of Michael's chicken. Eli's Arctic char was rather one-dimensional. Michael's cod was delicious, but Bryan's meat and potatoes were "good" but not hot enough. There's some tension and full-blown yelling behind the scenes between Robin and Michael over Robin's dessert. Robin's dessert was great and the judges rave over that and Bryan's ganache.

The judges head over to Mission. JFM's food lacks salt, and when Padma asks for some, he freaks out a little. His asparagus was missing something. Laurine doesn't give explanation of the dishes until Padma asked for it (doesn't Laurine know the producers need her to verbally say what's in the dishes so they can artfully pan over the glamour shots of the food? Get with the program). Jen's two fish dishes were a disappoinment. The butter sauce broke, so all you taste is grease. Kevin's pork plate was good, but the lamb (Laurine's concept, Kevin's cooking) was too rare, like Jell-o.

The Bravo producers must have a sense of humor – there's a montage of scenes between commercials of Michael V. yelling in the kitchen. In the interviews, he's saying that people mistake confidence for arrogance and that there's no place for yelling in the kitchen.

Judges' Table

Bryan, Michael, Robin and Eli won! Tom said it was the best restaurant in six seasons of the show, and Toby said he'd give it three stars (out of how many?). Michael was the overall winner, and he won an autographed book and $10,000 – the other team forfeited it when they let their bet ride. He decides to split it with the teammates. Aww. Is he trying to make up for yelling at all of them? Bryan and Michael have a little spat in the stew room – Bryan is tired of Michael's unprofessional behavior and tells Michael to keep his share of the money.

As for the losing team, Bearded Kevin, JFM, Laurine and Jen weren't surprised. JFM even admits their restaurant had its issues and was going to lose. Where's the cocky JFM we've come to know and loathe all season long? Jen is demoralized by the judges and says she feels broken, like her brown butter sauce. Tom says it seems like the team didn't have a leader. Toby points out that everybody's dishes had problems except for JFM. Darn.

And it's not a shocker: Laurine goes home for poor front-of-house service. The judges said she seemed to hide when things went bad, and she wasn't forceful enough to send back lamb even if it wasn't cooked to her standards.

Predictions

Who's going home next: Liz and Justine are in agreement -- Robin can't stay any longer. She, Eli and JFM are the cheftestants in danger. Even though Robin's dessert did well this week, one dish can't save her from past poor performances.

Favorites: Since we've been predicting the top four all along, we're going to narrow things down now to who we think is going to win it all. Justine wants Bryan to win, but Kevin has a really good shot. Michael has really high highs but sometimes takes really big risks, even though she'd be sad to see another cute contestant to go. Liz fears Michael's cockiness will get the better of him. Bearded Kevin is her safe bet. 

What's your favorite quickfire challenge of all time? Would you rather eat at Revolt(ing) or Mission? Justine wants to know if you voted for her Bryan on the poll on who is the better chef. She guesses Michael's tattoos can't save him, Liz. Booyah!

And it's another results night. I'll keep it short.

-- After a brief recap of last night's events (Kelly Osbourne went to the hospital, but will be fine to dance next week), the judges want to see Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson's Argentine tango. I missed the show last night, so this is my first time seeing their tango. I'm not blown away by it.

--  Throughout the show, we see the pros reflect on Michael Jackson as we see clips of past season's dancers performing to Jackson hits.

-- Norah Jones performs. Her new album is out next month. Not my type of music, but the dancing is cute.

-- First couple named safe are Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer, followed by Donnie and Kym and Mya and Dmitry Chaplin.

-- We see the dancers and stars putting on makeup, eating snacks and getting ready for the show. Cheesy filler. 

-- Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough are in jeopardy. Note: Joanna danced with Maksim Chmerkovskiy last night since Derek had the flu. Kelly and Louis Van Amstel and are safe. Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff are in the bottom, too. After the commercial break, it's announced that Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova are safe; Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo are not.

-- Norah sings again. This time, it's "Come Away With Me." More dancing.

-- Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower are safe (they're my favorite couple this season); Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas are in jeopardy. I'm thinking that they've used the word "jeopardy" too much, just as host Tom Bergeron jokes about using that word too much I keep wanting to type an exclamation point after it, like the title of the game show.

-- More MJ memories. The Macy's Stars of Dance performance is a tribute to the King of Pop, introduced by no one other than LaToya Jackson. She's rocking a long blue gown that I believe is connected to her wrist. The dance starts off with "I Want You Back," followed by "Man in the Mirror" and "Thriller." The "Thriller" portion is pretty sweet.

-- Next, we learn Melissa and Mark and Joanna and Derek are safe. We're down to the bottom two. Judge Bruno Tonioli says he's shocked that Aaron is at the bottom. Judge Carrie Ann Inaba says she's disappointed to see Natalie at the bottom. he Judge Len Goodman says something, but my TV decides to change over to "The Hills." Whoops! Still trying to figure out my Dish box! I flip back. And who's out? Natalie and Alec.

 

 

Yes, I am on vacation, but I just saw this and felt compelled to share the burden with all of you. Maybe if we take it on together, it won't feel so gross.

In an interview with RadarOnline, Nadya Suleman (aka "Octomom") says she thinks Jon Gosselin is hot and also that she thinks putting children on television is exploitative. Um, OK. As my friend Beth said, "There is something terribly wrong with every line of this article."

Judge for yourself here.

 

Unfortunately, Sarah is still on vacation, and I've only seen a handful of "Big Brother" episodes. So, I have nothing witty or snarky to say about "BB 9" winner Adam Jasinski, who, according to the Associated Press, was charged with attempting to sell oxycodone pills in Massachusetts.

From glancing back at Sarah's "Big Brother" posts, it seems that Adam's season was a snooze. Last year, a reader, Rich, wrote:

 I do not really care who wins either, between Adam and Ryan. I do not even think there will be much venom. It will be boring.

Life's not so boring for Adam now, I suppose? Any reaction, faithful "BB" fans?

Photo courtesy of CBS

 

 

 

 

Sorry for the delay on tonight's Dancing With the Stars recap. I'm in a different time zone than usual, which is throwing a wrench in things. (Also, I'm posting from an unfamiliar -- and small -- computer, which is messing with my typing, so please forgive me if there are fewer details than usual.)

This week, the 10 remaining couples are taking on the challenges of a group hustle -- and the flu. And Samantha Harris' outrageous hairdo!

The two individual routines are the paso doble and the Argentine tango. We also learn in the intro that Joanna Krupa is paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy because her usual partner Derek Hough has the flu.

The first couple of the night is Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo. They are one of the couples doing the paso. She's excited to ditch the romance and focus on power. They dance to  "American Woman," and she's in a red,  white and blue skirt and top,  and he's in a motorcycle jacket. I enjoy the performance, but something about it doesn't quite hang together for me. I'm not sure why. Head judge Len Goodman says she is clean and precise, but he felt this lacked a little bit of aggression and character. Bruno Tonioli says she lacked conviction in the performance. Carrie Ann Inaba says she's a great student but she needs to extend her movement "out past your body." Oh, and she calls lift. Scores: 7-8-7, for a 22/30.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff want  to have a better week after being in the bottom two last week. They've got the tango. This character works much better for him than last week's lambada (thankfully), and they also have some awesome leg flicks. Bruno says he's done exactly what they asked him to do. He said it was a little like watching Robert Pattison tango in Twilight. Carrie Ann gives him kisses on the cheeks and says it was great. (Shouldn't they be skipping cheek kisses if there is a flu epidemic on set?) Len says Aaron's been like a little boy lost in the wilderness looking for his Daddy the past two weeks, but that "you've come back to me!" Scores: 8-8-8, for a 24/30.

 

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova are doing the paso doble. Michael takes it to the next level during training -- when Anna tells him that he needs to bring his hips forward and act as if he is holding a coin between his butt cheeks, he actually puts a coin there during practice. Finally, finally, he's actually performing with some power and finesse, though some of his movements are still too small. He's a big guy, he's got to extend those arms! Carrie Ann says this was her favorite dance so far. Len says it was expressive and great. Bruno tells him to keep that nickel in his butt because it's working for him. Scores: 7-7-7, 21/30.

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin prepare for the tango -- and they're excited because they can do lifts. In the performance, they are spot on and sexy and intense. Plus, Mya manages to not kick Dmitry in the crotch during one of the moves she was having trouble with during rehearsal. (Gotta say, though, that would be one event for which Host Tom Bergeron would be more than qualified for coming up with a one-liner, had it come to pass.) Len says he didn't mind that they spent a lot of time at the top of the stage, but he liked it. Bruno calls it intricate like lace. Carrie Ann loved the moves, but she feels like there needed to be a little more character. Scores: 9-9-9, for a 27/30.

Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer are struggling to find Mark's most aggressive side for their paso doble. Lacey's given him a solo to try to get them to stand out from the middle of the pack, where they've been all season. In the performance, he seems to be channeling that aggression, at least in his face. Bruno says he is turning into Mephisto and that he looked like he was about to sprout horns. Carrie Ann says there is a subtle difference between force and power and this was power. Len says he had posture, performance and passion. Scores: 9-9-8, for a 26/30.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson have had a tough schedule with two dances this week, plus he is having to work in Vegas four nights a week. Their performance is good, but it kind of lags in the middle a little, so it seems a little longer than the others. But it ends strongly. Carrie Ann says the Argentine tango loves Donny Osmond, that this kind of transformation is what this show is about. Len loved the intensity and the quiet moments,  the light and shade. Bruno says it's bonanza time. Scores: 10-9-10, for a 29/30. Huh, maybe I'm just tired that I thought it was a little laggy? I do have jet lag after all.

Louie  Vito and Chelsie Hightower are hoping to bounce back from last week's lame-o two-step with this week's Argentine tango. His competitive side comes out and he dances a lot more than last week, but it's still not in the same league as some of this competitors. Len says he wasn't expecting a lot, but he was pleasantly surprised. Bruno says they had great storytelling, but he is still stepping instead of dancing. Carrie Ann says he was a great partner to Chelsie. Scores: 7-8-7, for a 22/30.

Melissa Joan Hart  and Mark Ballas fought through Mark's flu while they prepared their Argentine tango. They had a great week last week, but want to prove it wasn't a one-time thing. Their performance seems to have way more content than some of the others -- tons and tons of leg flicks and intricate steps, and they carry off the characters pretty well, too. Bruno, however, says she lost it more than a few times, step wise, and that he never believed her as the harlot. He adds that she looked more grumpy than intense at times. Carrie Ann: "DISAGREE!" She says she sustained the character, but agrees that she had some stumbles. Len says it lacked a little seduction, but the performance was "full-on." Scores: 8-8-7, for a 23/30.

Kelly Osbourne and  Louis Van Amstel, like Melissa and Mark, shone last week during the Charleston, and they want to rock their paso doble. They're dancing to "Crazy Train," which is awesome. Perhaps I should say potentially awesome because it appears to have psyched Kelly out just a touch. Still entertaining and powerful, though! Carrie Ann says this is why she loves this job, that it's so surreal, but that she needs to keep her intensity and stay with it. Len says she was dancing with more authority, but it was well done. Bruno says it was very difficult and that she didn't go wrong but she had a little case of nerves. Scores: 8-8-8, for a 24/30.

Joanna Krupa did a great lambada last week with Derek Hough, but then he ended up with the flu, and Joanna ends up performing with Maksim Chmerkovskiy for the Argentine tango. They ended up together last minute, but they handled it well. There is, however, a pretty bad stumble toward the beginning. But I'd like to point out, as one of my friends mentioned, we couldn't even tell because at the time, they were in close up. I don't care about close-ups during the performance! I want to see the lines and the feet and everything. Bruno says he was living his fantasies until the stumble. Len says getting a new partner is like getting a new pair of shoes and that they did a great job under the circumstances. Carrie Ann liked the chemistry but says she needs to work on her flexibility. Scores: 8-8-8, for a respectable 24, but it does make you think of what might have been.

Last up is the group dance: Do the hustle!

Kelly Osbourne will be performing in the group dance, but barefoot after hurting her foot during the individual dance. Anyway, the performance is like half fun and half disaster (and most of that disaster is contained in the guys' wigs). A couple of the guys look like they have their wigs on backward, and for some of them, the wigs are a giant hotness-killer.

So what did you think of this night of dancing?

 

Sarah's on vacation and missed last night's "Amazing Race." Unleashed blogger Jill Rosen has graciously donated her time and talents to this mini-recap of Sunday's episode. Enjoy!

This week's Amazing Race in a nutshell: The teams were in Dubai. They stopped in at the top of the world's tallest building. Mika (at left with partner Canaan) cried because she's scared of heights. Meghan and Cheyne ended up with fast-forward, allowing them to do a race-car event and then go straight to the pit stop. Meghan cried at the race car event, too. Inexplicably. She might have even cried at the pit stop.

The rest of the teams went from the tall building into the desert, where one team member had to search about in the sand for a clay pot with water, fill a bag with water, and then bring it back to a camel. Much sweating and swearing ensued. From the 100-degree temperatures of the desert, the teams then went to Ski Dubai -- what is essentially a snow-covered indoor mountain built in the middle of the city. With that much absurd decadence, Americans should not be getting such a bad rap in the world for waste.

 

Anyway. The teams could either sled down the hill and look for a tiny snowman in a pile of snow, or sled down the hill and then take some snow outside in the blistering heat to build a snowman. Brian and Ericka found a snowman in the pile in like 12 seconds and made it to the pit stop second.

After getting horribly lost, but not being as obnoxious as usual, Lance and Keri came in last and were eliminated from the race.

Photo courtesy of CBS

Mmmm ... a gross food challenge, and insane rainstorm, punitive measures for chicken-losing, unexpected endurance from a petite contestant ... could you really ask for more from an episode of Survivor?

First, sorry this is a little delayed -- I spent the day traveling yesterday and now the time zones are working against me. And now I'm writing this from Salem, Ore., the hometown of two of the contestants who haven't gotten much screen time because, well, they're on Galu, which keeps winning.

The reward challenge probably showed up on the production schedules as Gross-Food Smoothie Roulette Wheel. (Maybe something by the same name will show up on Top Chef: Las Vegas next week -- somehow, someone would manage to work sous vide into it.)

 

There's a wheel with nasty ingredients, a ball for someone from each tribe, spin it, Jeff mixes up a smoothie with the nastiness (and his choice of base, sometimes milk, sometimes juice, sometimes water) and splits it between the two people facing off, a member from each tribe. In a bit of a twist, it doesn't matter who finishes first; whoever finishes at all gets a point.

It stays tied for ages, and then it's Dave and Ashley, who get a double dose of sea slug guts, and Jeff cruelly mixes it with water, "so we can see exactly how chunky it is." Yuck. Dave finishes, Ashley tries and tries, but the end of her glass is all chunks, no liquid, and she ends up barfing. Game over! Galu wins again, taking home a bunch of steaks and sausages.

But wait ... first, they have to send someone over to the other tribe to "spy," which seems like the wrong term what with there being no secrecy, and this person will miss out on the reward. Russell chooses Shambo and makes sure she knows she's missing the reward because she lost the chicken. Nice. I mean, not wrong, but he's just so condescending about it.

Back at Foa Foa, Shambo is mad at her tribe, so she decides to show them all the clues for the immunity idol. These clues are not subtle, so everyone figures out exactly where it should be and that it's not there, since Russell found it sans clues about 459 years ago. Everyone starts to wonder who has it, then, and there are two schools of thought: that Russell has it and is lying (true) or that Ben had it and failed to use it, so it's not in play anymore (false). Liz acts like she thinks the latter could be true, but she totally suspects Russell. She tries to get him to admit it, which she does very straightforwardly, and which of course Russell interprets as a threat. Basically, if you say anything, it's a threat. So he gets super mad about her asking him, yells at her about being threatening and then tells her she's on thin ice (which is way more threatening than anything she said to him).

Then (and this is important): It starts raining. A lot.

At the immunity challenge, a man and a woman from each tribe have to hold onto a rope that goes through a pulley and from which a basket is hanging. The remaining members from the other tribe have to throw coconuts into the baskets, and whichever team lets go of both ropes first loses. Foa Foa cannot make a shot and Galu is hitting like mad, so Liz and Russell (the designated holders for their tribe) are having a rough go of it, but they hang in there. Ashley, in particular, cannot seem to make a single shot against Galu.

Russell (who was taking the brunt of the weight) finally gave out, leaving Liz alone. She tried and tried, but eventually she couldn't hold it anymore -- it seriously looked like the basket was holding the equivalent of her body weight and it lifted her off the ground. So Galu wins again.

But about that rain ... it still doesn't stop, and it's so relentless that Foa Foa is forced to just sit huddled in their tiny shelter before tribal council. There's no sneaking off to cut deals or even discuss anything. They're just trapped. I know there was a time when a tribe had to go straight to TC without having time to discuss, but I can't remember another time when the weather took this opportunity from them like this. It was pretty awkward as they tried to figure out whether they should all say at camp who they're voting for or not. Finally, they just decided to vote for whoever at TC. It was pretty clear, though, that Ashley was out after two bad performances in back-t-o-back challenges.

And that was true. People interviewed half-heartedly that maybe Liz was in danger (yeah, Liz, the only one who gave them any hope of winning that immunity challenge), but everyone voted for Ashley, even her BFF Natalie. If he'd had time, I'm sure Russell would have been gunning for Liz, but the rain put a stop to that. 

They're so going to mix up the tribes, soon, don't you think? It's so unbalanced right now. I think that could be really, really interesting.

What did you think of the episode?

 

 

 

Greetings and salutations, Project Runway junkies. I'm Kevin Van Valkenburg, sports writer when sober, fashion blogger/recapper when not.

First, a brief apology for my absence last week. I'd like to tell you I was so overcome with all the emotion of Jim and Pam's wedding at Niagara Falls that I simply couldn't recap, but the truth is I was a little under the weather. Not even Heidi's bizarro Oktoberfest b---- slap of Epperson could shake me out of my fever fog. But seriously, just to look backward for a brief moment, Logan made a pair of pants that looked like they'd be ill-fitting on a traveling hobo, and Epperson was still the one who got booted. Insanity. (It's time for Logan to stop making Bambi eyes at pushover judges like Zoe Glassner and Zanna Roberts and start actually designing some closes.) Essentially, this is why Heidi can't be left alone to make major decisions, much like her native Germany. She needs Spain (Nina Garcia), France (Michael Kors) to keep her in line while England (Tim Gunn) makes sassy comments and referees disputes.

This week begins with the adorable Carol Hannah telling us she's queen of the middle -- never great, but never awful -- and then she tries to sell us on the idea that slow and steady wins the race. (Basically, Carol Hannah wants to be the Jay Leno of Project Runway.) Heidi strolls onto the runway this week wearing a stunning black blouse and ruby red pants that are probably supposed to seem a little punk rock (judging by the belt) by look more like the pants Aerosmith's Steven Tyler wore in the "Love in an Elevator" music video.

Heidi says this challenge is all about the opportunity to "shine," but doesn't elaborate further. Instead, she makes weirdo faces. My heart skips a beat as I briefly contemplate the possibility that the designers might be making an outfit for the rapper "Shyne," who just got out of prison after serving a 10-year sentence that everyone assumes he agreed to because someone had to take the fall for Diddy back in 1999. Alas, I have to keep reminding myself that this season of PR was filmed almost a year ago, so that seems unlikely. Perhaps next season.

Cut to what looks like a romantically lit museum, where Tim Gunn is looking rather debonair in a purple tie. He's standing next to Bob Mackie, the so-called "Sultan of Sequins." Mackie is famous in the fashion world for designing costume dresses sought by attention-seeking actresses, the kind of women who have never met an ostrich feather they couldn't stuff into a thong and call a red carpet dress. Which is to say Cher, Tina Turner and Madonna. Mackie is a handsome fellow, in a what-if-Frank-Gifford-were-gay kind of way.

Tim says this week's challenge will be to design a stage look -- in the style of Bob Mackie -- for a five-time Grammy winning, multiplatinum artist. But who is it? Tim lets the suspense build, and Nicolas responds by chewing on his fingernails like a raccoon with a meth addiction.

"She's an individual who sets trends and her own rules when it comes to her fashion, both on and off the stage," Gunn says.

(Please, please don't be Celine Dion. I have a hard enough time explaining to my straight friends why I love blogging about this show.)

Turns out it's Christina Aguilera! I'm actually kind of excited about this. I miss the days of MTV when the world seemed to revolve around people like Christina Aguilera.  Remember when Eminem was so angry that Aguilera not-so-subtlety accused him of abusing his wife that Eminem wrote a song about how she hooked up with Fred Durst and Carson Daly? And even though all parties involved denied it, it seemed, at the time like the most scandalous thing ever? It makes me feel so old realizing that happened more than a decade ago. Those vapid chuckleheads on The Hills were like 11 years old back then. (Sigh.)

Cut to Mood. We got here so quickly, I'm going to further revise my Los Angeles travel theory and suggest that Tim Gunn got everyone here by piloting the Millennium Falcon, because Tim is absolutely the Han Solo of the fashion world. (Here is hoping Nicolas had to ride in the smuggling compartments while Irina and Shirin got to play space chess.) Inside Mood, it's nothing but feathers, sequins and panic, baby! Carol Hannah tell us that her strategy is to buy as many possible things as she can and "figure it out later."

(Facepalm.)

Oh dear. Sweet, naive Carol Hannah. Haven't you learned by now that Heidi is probably listening to you right now, beneath an invisibility cloak?

With two days and $300 for this challenge, there is really no excuses. It's one thing to get sent home when you have to make a outfit out of groceries or candy, but when you get to choose your own fabric, sketch your own design, and you have plenty of time to execute it, you're the only one to blame if it doesn't go well. It's sort of like when one party occupies the White House, and has control of both the House of Representatives and the Senate. You've run out excuses if you can't get the job done, even if people are opening rooting for you to fail. So the same way that Rush Limbaugh is rooting for President Obama to fail, I'm rooting for Nicolas to fail.

Back to the workroom. My girl Irina resumes her role as the go-to designer for catty commentary in the talking heads. She's already mocking Shirin for her choice of fabrics, and we aren't even 10 minutes in to the show. She does have a point though. Shirin is ironing a dress that is so red, it looks like it will worn by Jessica Rabbit.

Carol Hannah pulls out a heap of clothes and looks equally confused.

"I really don't know what Carol Hannah bought," Irina says. "She bought this like this cheap, crappy-looking Halloween costume fabric." 

I think the only way to make Irina's mean commentary more awesome is if you pretend she's saying it with Ian McShane's voice, like she's the main character on Deadwood. I think from this moment forward, we're going to have to refer to her as Irina Swearengen because she is simply that cold-blooded.

Meanwhile, the stress seems to be getting to everyone else. Gordana is wandering around the workroom wearing sneakers and a skirt, rubbing her temples and mumbling to herself in broken English. Even with immunity for winning the "Lonely Divorcee Challenge" last week, I'm worried her brain is about to splinter into 10 different pieces, kind of like what happened to Yugoslavia in the early 1990s.

Cut to the next morning, Gordana is starting over from scratch, Nicolas focused on accentuating Christina Aguilera's breasts, and Shirin is drowning in a hurricane of fabric and wearing a hat that one of Payne Stewart's kids apparently mailed to her on accident. Tim Gunn strolls into the workroom and immediately expresses his "general disappointment" with Christopher's two-part outfit, which features a top that "tears away" to reveal another look underneath.

"If you're going to have a reveal, it should be super sexy [skanky]," Tim says, and somewhere Fred Durst nods his goatee in agreement.

Tim isn't finished grinding designers dreams beneath the heel of his boot, however, because he's equally unimpressed with Althea's outfit as well.

"You and Christopher, you're both thinking about this like she comes out in a pumpkin and pops out," Tim says, and in the background, we see Nicolas giggling like a hyena. It turns out we might get the last laugh though, because Tim calls out Nicolas next for essentially ripping off his Ice Queen design, and Nicolas' snark balloon deflates by half.   

Like a tornado that seems to grow stronger the more it destroys, however, Tim Gunn is practically and F5 by the time he gets to Shirin. When he's done talking, I'm actually stunned that she hasn't burst into tears. Hell, I'm even more surprised Christopher didn't burst into tears just listening to it.

"This is like Guinevere meets vampira," Tim says. "This looks like student work. I looks like it's for a 16-year-old's really bad prom." 

In case you'd forgotten one of our favorite subjects -- that everyone wants to get in Logan's pants, regardless of how poorly-tailored they might be -- before the night ends we're treated to several clips of Logan and Carol Hannah flirting with one another. Carol Hannah blushes and tells us Logan is hot and this is "really distracting." The more I see of this, the more I'm convinced that this season is going to end with a shot of Irina Swearengen lying in bed with Logan while Carol Hannah stands on the sidewalk outside their apartment in the rain crying.

Cut to the following morning, where it's time for models and make-up. Nicolas overhears Irina telling her model that Carol Hannah is mediocre and that she has no personality, and in a talking head, Nicolas seems mostly annoyed that Irina has the gall to act like a bigger snotty queen than him.

"Irina is a great designer. The only problem with her is that she is a b----," Nicolas says. "I just wish she would be nicer to people and not treat everyone like they work for her."

Runway show. Oh hell yeah, guess who is back? It's my girl Nina Garcia! It seems the Weinstein Bros. finally found her number in one of their BlackBerrys, and decided to let her know the season started, even though this is week nine of the competition. Everything is just better with Nina in it, frankly. I'd like to see Nina in the Monday Night Football booth, if possible next season. I want Nina hosting Meet the Press. I don't care if she's talking about Peyton Manning or Sarah Palin, she would eat them for lunch and then pick her teeth with their bones.

Christina Aguilera is also on Judge's Row, and she's wearing a wig that looks like someone from the local barber college cut her bangs with a bowl and a straight razor. I've never understood exactly why she likes to dress like a drag queen so often, because she's otherwise quite gorgeous. But she's not here. In fact, it seems like she took the Frowny Bus from Frowntown to get here. In half the shots, it looks like she's trying to pass gas without anyone noticing.

Let's cut to the chase. To be honest, Carol Hannah and Nicolas look like front runners, with Irina, Christopher and Logan not that far behind. Gordana's dress is a joke, and I'm almost certain that Heidi will scold her for slacking just because she had immunity. Shirin's dress his hit or miss. No idea what the judges will think. Althea, I assume, will skate through because that's what Althea does every week. Honestly, ever since she won that challenge early for an atrocious, bra less outfit, it's like she's been invisible.

In a minor surprise, Irina gets sent to the greenroom to represent the middle, which I'm a little bummed about because there is always the potential she'll mock someone as they're getting ripped, resulting in tears. (I'm looking in your direction, Christopher.) She's quickly followed by Gordana, but not before Heidi tells her that her dress was a disaster, and she's lucky to have a free pass this week.

Christina gets things started by praising Carol Hannah's featherpalooza, and backstage I think I hear Irina Irina Swearengen grinding her teeth. Shirin, however, gets called out for making a Halloween costume.

"I see like an upscale witch Halloween dress," Heidi quips. "There needs like a pointy black hat and a broom, and it would be like a perfect Halloween outfit."

(Now to Shirin's credit, Heidi did say "upscale" Halloween dress.)

Nina drops the hammer on Christopher, saying that everything she sees in his outfit is something that has been done before, but then Christina totally undermines that by saying she really likes the effort Christopher put into everything. See Nina, this is what happens when you miss eight weeks. Skinny like pop stars with bowl-cut bangs will undermine your rip jobs! The nerve!

Logan's outfit is a mess, but he gets minor praise from Nina for taking a chance instead of boring everyone to tears, which I suspect is a direct dig at Shirin.

In the end, Carol Hannah picks up the victory, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think (gag, cough, gag) that Nicolas got screwed a little. His outfit was pretty darn good. (Now excuse me while I go punch myself in the face.) Nicolas and Logan are safe, meaning it comes down to Christopher and Shirin.

(Dum, dum, dum, spooky music, Halloween music, dum, dum!)

It seems the Upscale Park Avenue witches are getting auf Wiedersehens instead of candy this year.

Goodbye, Shirin. If you hurry along and clean up your stuff, maybe Epperson will buy you a beer at Oktoberfest.

Until next week, kids. 

Another week of Top Chef means another recap from Liz and Justine. We won't lie -- the previews for this week's episode had us on edge, with all of the Voltaggio brother tension that was being foreshadowed. Would this be the week one of Maryland's own Voltaggio brothers, Michael and Bryan, would go home? Say it ain't so, Bravo!

Enough swooning over the Volts and their brotherliness. On to the cooking! 

(Photo of Kevin, Eli, Ash and Bryan tasting pinots from bravotv.com)

We learn a lot about Eli (Liz's favorite cheftestant, but not for his cooking ability) early in the episode. That either means he's going to do quite well or go home. His food in previous challenges hasn't really stood out for being good or bad, so we're a bit concerned for his fate. We learn important things about Eli, like how he lives at home and calls to check in with his mom.

(Also, who noticed Jerkface Mike putting lotion on his tattoos in one of the first shots? Eww!)

Robin does pilates in the morning. She beat cancer, and now she's talking about winning Top Chef. We're skeptical. But she gets a sympathy vote from some viewers....we aren't as easy to win over.

Quickfire

Guest judge: Charlie Palmer. He's the pioneer of American cooking, sez Michael. He's worked with Michael AND Bryan, but he promises that he won't be swayed by their experience together. (Bryan's worked with him 10 years) The essence of the quickfire challenge is food pairings. The (product placement) catch, you may ask? Their dishes have to go well with Alexia chips – if you've been paying attention all season, they've been in shots in the stew room, the cheftestants have been eating them in the house, etc. (Liz: "Just cook them in Caphalon and put them in a Glad container and be done with it.")

(Fun fact: A few episodes ago, Liz and I ate the ranch flavor before we knew the chips would play such a major role in the show. And Liz has more coupons for $1 off a bag, but keeps forgetting to buy them at the store.)

Ash describes his food as: Clean, simple, awesome. He didn't include the eyeroll, but we did.

Fashion moment: Padma's white knee-high boots! And her belt!

The lackluster pairings: Robin, Ash and Jennifer, whose pork chops became overcooked as they sat patiently, waiting for Padma. Too bad this wasn't a high stakes quickfire. 

On the top: Eli, Bryan, Kevin. The winner: Eli! But he doesn't win anything -- no immunity, no $15,000 "chip," no Calphalon! No advantage, either. Poor Eli. Liz's celebratory dance at Eli's victory shook the couch.

Ash is bummed to be in the bottom and he's surprised. That's never a good sign. It's those who are clueless about their poor cooking who are easy targets.

Elimination Challenge

The cheftestants have to cook pork dishes for Chef Palmer's Pigs and Pinot annual charity event. It's about creating a pork dish that goes well with pinot noir. Knife drawing takes place for what part of the pig they will be cooking; Palmer winks at Eli for drawing the pork belly. They'll each have to make 150 tasting portions.

On a quick field trip before going to Whole Foods, they go to Aureole restaurant at Mandalay Bay where wingless wine angels get wine for you. The cheftestants show their true professionalism by just tasting the wine before dumping out most of it. Since they drew knives for parts of the pig they had to use, it's only fair that they get to choose which pinot noir they want to pair.

Bearded Kevin says he wants to win the challenge because he's a "pig guy" who has a pig tattoo. Oink.

What is with all the product placement today? Mention of the cars they ride in, GE logos everywhere, Swanson broth, etc. It seems like they're running out of content.

Back at the homestead, Eli's making dinner but Robin is annoying him by bickering over a dirty cutting board. Robin and Eli argue. She's not his mother. They're all hating on her. Eli takes his pan of scallops (Liz: Again, he's a man after my own heart) and shares with the other chefs so they can get their Robin hating on.

Moving on to the fast and furious cooking before Pigs and Pinot. Did anyone else notice that Bryan gets super sweaty when he cooks? He was really sweating it up in the quickfire, and again he's soaked. (Justine says she thinks it's hot. Get it? Ha.) Is it the extra pressure of the guest judge he's worked for all these years, or is he just a naturally sweaty gent? Michael V. says he's traveled more and is willing to take more risks. Bryan has stayed in one place and has "gotten really good at one type of food."

Ash is confident that this week he's going to cook his food, not anyone else's. We're not buying what you're selling, Ash.

JFM talks about how he's done so many types of cuisine so far in the competition, but one of the cuisines in his list - Asian – and he did that ONLY because he and Robin had to, and Robin was the one who knew everything about the ingredients. Lame.

Some brother battle with Michael trying to piss off Bryan over who gets to use the gigantic Glad wrap. Is product placement really what's tearing the brothers apart?

JFM complains about the setting for the tasting – he usually has sous chefs for this type of thing, apparently. At the events in your head, JFM? Is that where you get your very own sous chef?

Moving on to the event. The chefs are stressed because all the people come at once and they just want to eat. Aren't there any caterers left in the cheftestant bunch, or are they all restaurant folk? Dana Cowin of Food & Wine magazine and Toby are the other judges. Never thought we'd say this, but we miss Gail. We'd take her over trite Toby any day.

Eli's dish was good but the hoity-toity guest judge said it didn't go with the wine.

It seems like everybody's dish is going over well. It'll be the little stuff that trips them up, except Laurine's dish is "cat food," or so sez guest judge Dana. So harsh. Robin's doesn't give a pork flavor – maybe the meat is cut too thing, Tom postulates.

Judges' Table

Not the shock of your life, on the top: Micahel, Bryan, Kevin and Jennifer (For those of you keeping track at home, that's the final four we've been predicting for weeeeeeeks) They had the best dishes and the best pairings. They were spot on with what the whole event was about.

Toby made some kind of random comparison about hairy armpits on a cooking show. Ick.

The winner is Bearded Kevin! He gets to be a guest chef at the 2010 Pigs & Pinot event. He points out his pig tattoo. (Liz is going to make an appointment to get one tomorrow.)

On the bottom: Ash, Laurine and Robin (nice to see they didn't stretch to pull a fourth chef into the bottom when Eli and JFM's dishes weren't total screw-ups)

Robin's dish didn't have enough pork. The texture of the sauce was weird and gummy. Ash is surprised to be on the bottom. The dish wasn't strong enough for the wine. Padma asked him if he tasted it. Tom has some wise words about Ash: he second-guessed his first instinct, not trusting his gut. Laurine ran out of time to get her food done, and guest judge Palmer points out that she didn't even make a rillettes at all.

In the stew room, Ash shouts out that he forgot flavor. We knew that a long time ago, buddy.

Michael says Eli is the little brother they've never had. (Liz called him her “TV boyfriend.” She visibly swoons whenever he appears. Eli, if you're out there, please write her so she'll be quiet.)

Ash goes home! Surprise! The criticism sounded like Laurine's was the worst. The moral of the story: You can make cat food on Top Chef and not go home.

Next week: Restaurant wars! The brothers work together! Robin freaks out about and the VOlt brothers BOTH yell at her! Score!

On a side note, they were misleading about the brother tension in the previews of this episode. We were mislead by the clever editing. Darn you, Bravo! Way to get us all worked up over a little squabble involving some plastic wrap.

Predictions

Who's going home next: Liz says Laurine's cat food performance won't keep her around long. Robin may stay for the added drama, sad to say. Justine wants Robin out next because none of her food has been great. It's always been mediocre to bad.  

Favorites: This doesn't change from week to week, folks. Justine's sold on sweaty Bryan's hotness because that means he works hard. While Liz may swoon over Eli, she won't shake off her Bearded Kevin loyalties. They will soon share a pig tattoo, after all. 

How bald do you think Tom really is? When's the last time you had pork belly? If you had to host a charity food event with alliteration of the major ingredients, what would it be?

It's another results night for Dancing With the Stars. Here are the high points:

-- The reprisal of the night is Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas' Charleston, which was fun, but a little overscored yesterday, I think.

-- Shakira performs a couple of times.

-- First wave of results: Mya and Dmitry Chaplin are safe, as are Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas. The first couple in jeopardy is Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff.

-- The pros give us a preview of what a group dance should look like, since the stars will be doing this next week. OK, it probably won't look exactly like this, especially since their group dance is going to be the hustle.

-- More results: Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel are safe, and so are Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo and Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough. After the break, still more: Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer are safe, as are Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova.

-- In one of the cutest montages of the season, the stars' kids run around and talk about how they feel about their parents being on the show. In one of the least exciting, DWTS is stressful OMG!

-- Results: Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson are safe. So are Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower, which leaves Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya in the bottom two with Aaron and Karina. The couple ousted from the competition is: Chuck and Anna.

I'm OK with that. He's a lot more likeable than I expected, but the dancing? Not his strong point.

What do you think?

Tonight, the couples on Dancing With the Stars will be taking on four new dances -- new to the competition, not just the stars -- the two-step, the bolero, the Charleston and the lambada.

My big question is, who is going to have to do the lambada, and will we viewers survive?

First up are Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya. Their assigned dance is the two-step, and Chuck is glad he doesn't have to wear ruffled sleeves and that they're allowed to do lifts. In the performance, aside from the lifts (which yes, dude is strong) and a few of the turns, it seems like Chuck is just kind of walking around the stage. They're having a blast and entertaining the crowd, but technique is not a strong point here. Head judge Len Goodman says the lifts were really good and that they brought entertainment to the show, but his quality of dance isn't there. Bruno Tonioli says he brings "carnage and mayhem" to everything he does but still managed to look like a two-step. Carrie Ann Inaba says this dance suited him the best of everything he's done so far this season and that he didn't let the dance beat him. Scores: 6-5-6, for a 17/30.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas and Mark's fake mustache are the first taking on the Charleston. In the performance, they have a grand old time and get over-the-top wacky with their facial expressions. Melissa's posture still seems a little off to me, but they perform like crazy. Bruno loved it, but I can't understand the first half of what he says, but she has "the role 110 percent." Carrie Ann she needs to take that one on the road: "Breakthrough, breakthrough!" Len says the Charleston is all about the three Es: energy, excitement and entertainment, and, "You ticked all the boxes." Scores: 9-9-10, for a 28/30. Wow!

 

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazon have the bolero, which I know literally nothing about. In rehearsal, they want to push the choreography and make it very challenging to go to the next level, but they clash over it a bit. But in the performance, they are amazing. To me, it looks like they've kept up the challenging choreography (they were clashing over whether to make some of it easier). And you know how sometimes, when it's a couple with a male pro, the pro is so good, you end up watching him the whole time? That doesn't happen here. Natalie totally keeps up with Alec. Carrie Ann says it was beautiful and that they went for the difficulty, but she could see a struggle in the movement. Len thought it had a lyrical movement to it and that Alec's choreography had great moments, but he wanted more romance between them. Bruno says she's glad she found her "basic instinct" and looks like Sharon Stone. Then he makes a comment about her swimming arms and dropping the facade and calling Sharon for advice. Scores: 8-8-8, for a 24/30.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff have to do the lambada, and they want to start out with a gymnastic intro, but they're worried he's not going to make it. He does, but the rest of the dance seems really uncontrolled and kind of awkward and not that entertaining. There are some fabulous turns, but some of the rest of it is just not great. Len says it was a walk on the wild side, that he loves Aaron's enthusiasm. But, he adds, he should have spent more time learning the rhythm and raunchiness of the dance instead of worrying about the back-flip. Bruno says he put everything into that he had, but he missed the character. Also, he points out, Aaron missed the lift. Carrie Ann says Aaron needs to chill out, that he is trying too hard, that he dances well and is a good-looking guy, but because he is trying so hard, it makes it hard to watch and turns people off. YES! I don't think I have ever agreed with a critique more. Scores: 6-6-6, for an 18/30.

Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer take on the two-step and try to work on their chemistry and get Mark to loosen up. They almost seem to have more sexy moves than in the previous lambada, but at the same time, Mark doesn't exactly look like a natural doing the two-step. He is, however, having more fun on the floor, which is good. Bruno says he should have a roll in the hay more because his confidence was a lot better, but his footwork got off for a while. Carrie Ann thanks him for having confidence and being grounded. Len loved the choreography, but what he loved the most was that Mark was actually required to dance and not just walk around the stage. Len does point out, though, some heavy feet. Scores: 8-7-7, for a 22/30.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel are the second to take on the Charleston and HOLY MACKEREL LOUIS IS WEARING A LOT OF MAKEUP. OK, sorry about the yelling, I was just surprised. Their song is from Cabaret and Louis is taking inspiration from Broadway for his choreography (and from Joel Grey for the makeup, I now realize). Kelly shares that she won the lead role in Chicago on Broadway but lost it because she couldn't dance, so she's looking for some redemption. The performance is a ton of fun, and has a lot of emoting from them (as in Melissa and Mark's), but there is a bit in the middle where they seem to lose a little steam, but they finish strongly nonetheless. Carrie Ann says watching Kelly dance is like watching a birdy get its wings and learn to fly. Len loves the confidence and that they performed the dance, but he would have liked a tad more swivel. Bruno thought this was a great tribute to some great dancers and a very good performance. Scores: 8-7-8, for a 23/30.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough are the second couple taking on the lambada. Derek: "The lambada is a dance with a lot of grinding and a lot of thrusting. And you know what? I have the best job in America. *thumbs up*" I can't lie. I LOL'd. All I can say about this performance is ... oh, so this is what the lambada is supposed to look like. Hope Aaron was taking notes. They have a little trouble with the final move, but overall, it's great. Len says he knows what he wants for tomorrow's encore and the Derek never disappoints with the choreography. Bruno says don't try this at home and that it was like watching animals get physical, bursting with sexual energy. Carrie Ann says, "I hope that the children were in bed." Host Tom Bergeron interrupts: "I bet some of the adults are now." She adds that it worked because the dance is about passionate sex. Then she says the word crotch way too many times. Scores: 9-8-9, for a 26/30.

Donny Osmond is not sure why he pretended to make out with Bruno last week, and neither am I. This week, he and Kym Johnson are dancing the Charleston, which should work with his entertainer persona.  Their performance is fun and energetic, but I actually found Melissa and Kelly's dances a little more exciting, personally. Bruno says this showed a showman in his element and that he was in control, but he needs to be a tad sharper with his feet. Carrie Ann says they played to Donny's strengths, but she did notice his little stumble. Len says it was really well done. Scores: 8-8-8, 24/30.

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova don't want to be in the bottom two again. This week, they're doing the bolero, and they get some help from Tony Dovolani, who was the bolero champion. Tony's tips seem to help -- their chemistry is more believable than it's been this season, but there's still a bit of pro-dancing-around-star syndrome. Carrie Ann says they brought the romance side, but there wasn't enough dancing. Len says it was economic with the movement, but this was the most difficult and needed a lot of control and he assures him he will give him the best scores yet (he hasn't give him more than a 4). Bruno says Michael's dancing is like the economy: "Every week it's supposed to be getting better, but nothing happens." He says he sees the romance, but not the steps. Scores: 5-6-5, 16/30. 

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower get together with Ty Murray to prep for the two-step and find some cowboy attitude. In the performance, Louie is thinking-thinking-thinking and not so much performing. And again, he's another one whose partner is dancing circles around him. Len: "It was just a series of walks and then you stopped and Chelsie did something and then you walked again." Bruno says it was dazed and confused for a two-step. Carrie Ann said there was no musicality and too much shuffling going on. Scores: 5-5-6, for a 16/30.

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin are the last to take on the lambada, and they're hoping to finally please Len. Their lambada is sexy and intricate and definitely seems to fulfill the requirements of the dance, to say the least. But Len's surprised me all season when talking about them, so let's see what he has to say. Bruno says this was an "erotic, exotic rollercoaster" that people would want to ride over and over again. Carrie Ann says: "Mya's on fiyah!" She adds that she brought sophistication and class to the dance. Len says his expectations for them are really high, and the thought he was going to get more from them. Scores: 10-8-10, for a 28/30.

What a weird night. It's kind of hard to compare the lambada and the two-step or the Charleston and the bolero, but here we are. 

I think tonight was the women's night. The performances that stood out for me are: Mya, Joanna, Natalie, Melissa and Kelly, not necessarily in that order.

What did you think?

 

 

Sorry I'm so late in posting about last night's Amazing Race. Can I claim I was still recovering from the half-marathon?

Once I realized it was Zev and Justin who were in trouble with the passport-loss issue, I got worried.

Pretty quickly, it became clear that they were going to be disqualified, and then I realized that they had been emerging as my favorite team this season. So. Bummed.

It's never good to see a team out for such a frustrating reason, but when it's an overall nice team -- and in the leg in which they'd pulled themselves from last into first -- it hurts. Of course, it was their own carelessness that cost them, so it's not like the time the team was searching through haystacks for hours and hours and never found a clue. But still ... I was not a happy viewer.

The other big stunner for me was how few people could identify Jackie Kennedy! Maybe I've spent more hours than average in the Smithsonian American History Museum, but I still couldn't believe how many people were like, "Oh, it's some queen or something ... ?"

The poker players said it best when they mentioned that if they had luck like this in poker games, they'd be rich. I can't believe they and karate-kicking Lance are still in. Bleh.

What did you think about the episode?

I'll admit it; I was really distracted when I watched Survivor last night. (I'm doing the Baltimore Half-Marathon in the morning, and I had a lot of packing to do.)

But anyway: Wasn't it totally obvious that Galu was finally going to lose once the tribe started getting screen time?

First, there was a highly amusing reward challenge -- and finally, a separate reward challenge. Three representatives from each team showed up and found two boxes, one of which contained chickens. But: No Jeff. Totally confused, they decided they were just supposed to fight it out for the chickens. A couple of the folks decided to actually look in the other box, which had instructions. The chicken-kidnapping was put on pause, and a bocci game commenced.

It looked like Foa Foa had it in the bag, and then Dave landed an insanely precise (or lucky) shot, winning it for Galu.

Mick just couldn't believe it. I could. (The "dramatic" build-up made it pretty clear that Foa Foa was totally going to lose again.)

Back at camp, for some reason Shambo had shared her immunity idol clues with Erik, and he found the idol. What was she thinking? But this was only one of her dumb moves. The self-declared country girl took on the care of the chickens and then accidentally let one free while trying to get an egg out of the cafe. "I didn't know they could fly!" she exclaimed as the tribe watched it alight into a tree. It's got wings, and it's not a penguin or an emu, so chances are fair it's a yes on the does-it-or-doesn't-it-fly question.

At the immunity challenge, the teams had to build a tall tower of blocks that didn't fall for five seconds, then run across a ropes and net course, then build another tower. It was really close, but thanks to Jaison's height advantage, Foa Foa finally brought home a win.

At tribal council maneuvering time, I thought Shambo would be toast. (She. Lost. A. Chicken.) Then it looked like Monica's total uselessness in the super-close challenge was going to cost her the game. But the tribe decided Yasmin was too annoying to deal with anymore and voted her out instead.

At some point, I remember thinking that Dave was really hilarious, but the morning after, I can't actually remember his punchlines. If anybody else does -- or if you have anything else to discuss about the episode -- let's talk in the comments.

Update: I should just link to this every week, but here is Jeff Probst's take on last night. Don't let them go hostless, JP! We all saw what it did to Trading Spaces -- and what almost happened to those chickens!

 

Justine and Liz back for another week of Top Chef after what seemed like a long week hiatus for the show. Bravo left us in suspense for a whole week about the drama between Jerkface Mike and Robin. But the tension didn't disappoint.

Enough with the manufactured drama. On to the cooking! 

(Photo of Padma and guest judge Tyler Florence from BravoTV.com)

Ash starts off the episode saying he hasn't been to culinary school and knows he was close to going home. (How nice of you to figure out what the audience at home has known for weeks, Ash.) Also, he says Jerkface Mike doesn't seem like the culinary school type because he's "savage" in the kitchen.

A touching moment from Michael Voltaggio -- he brings his family into the mix and says he misses his daughters, ages 9 and 5. Insert a collective sigh from the women folk. 

Jen is feeling under the weather. Maybe she has swine flu! Don't cook in my restaurant if you're sick. Tom and Padma, get out your swine flu masks.

Quickfire

Food Network personality Tyler Florence is the guest chef! Bearded Kevin is excited because Florence has been on TV! (Psst, Kevin: You're on TV right now.)

(May we interrupt with a Padma fashion moment: She has on lime-green shiny disco pants! Liz misses the leopard ensemble from a few weeks ago.)

The cheftestants' mission: Create a dish incorporating three key words. Lest we forget this season is set in Las Vegas, they use a slot machine to get their three words -- mood, flavor, cuisine. It's a shameless plug for recipe Web site cookstr.com (When we opened the site right after the episode aired, Padma was the "author of the day"...coincidence? We think not)

Among the choices on the "flavor" wheel of the slot machine was umami. JFM described umami as...well, umami. Bravo producers are trying to introduce the concept to the general public. Did you Google it, too?

Florence is giving good reviews to everyone, even JFM! What's with that, dude? (Except Eli! No! Jen also gets no comments. She's too sick for criticism. Justine says she may be sick, but we're sick of her.) Chefs on the bottom: Robin, Eli, Jennifer. It's her first time on the bottom. Whiny. Go blow your nose or drink some orange juice.

The best quickfire chefs: JFM, Bearded Kevin, Michael V. No shocker to us -- Kevin wins. He was thrown a wild card by getting Asian cuisine, something he says he never cooks, on his slot machine spin. The dude can win without even cooking cuisine he's used to. In this high stakes quickfire, he gets a choice between immunity and $15,000. He picks the money! ("Dude, he can friggin' win the whole thing. He doesn't need immunity," Liz said.) That's Kevin's first sign of cockiness. He's always been the nice guy.

Elimination

The cheftestants are cooking at their place. Jen whines about being exhausted from the competition. Padma waxes poetic on the economy and how more people are cooking at home in these tough times. Cheftestants must throw a dinner party for some semi-famous chefs and the judges. Insert shameless plug for Macy's here. This is the Macy's Come Together Challenge. Blah.

Here's what we've been waiting for. As the cheftestants draw knives to choose which chef's ingredients they will be cooking with, JFM has to work with Robin. Haha. What's that expression, just deserts? Jerkface decides to make the best out of working with Robin and says he's going to take control like he "always does." Sure, he does, just like when he works with the Maryland brothers. Also, haha, "I know she knows I'm a better cook than her." What arrogance. The funny part is she seems to know Asian cuisine better than he does.

Jen feels better. None of the audience watching at Liz's apartment (including her dog) is relieved.

Michael V. is taking the lead and Ash is just his yes-man. He says Ash is a good No. 2 – we guess that means he can't win. You're lucky we have faith in you, Michael V.

JFM gave Robin things to do that "wouldn't affect the final product" and he's throwing her stuff out. Jerky smile.

Bad joke alert! Michael V. is cooking in electric woks and he says "We'll wok it out to you." Wocka-wocka. But alas, they blow a circuit, which means they have to start and stop cooking their fish. They're worried, and frankly we are too. (Liz shouted "Team Michael" to encourage them, even though she realizes it's been taped for months. They didn't hear her.) This is the first time Michael feels he's messed up. Is he actually human and not some food deconstructing borg?

Justine love that Bearded Kevin and Jen are making Korean barbecue. Yum.

Not much focus on Bryan and Laurine's dish, which means they must be safe. Justine holds up her hands in a V for Voltaggio victory.

Judges' Table

On the top: Laurine, Bryan, Jennifer and Kevin

We didn't see enough of either team to know who would win. Lame, Bravo. Winning dish is Korean barbecue! Jennifer's sauce wins! She wins a $10,000 gift card from Macy's and says she'll buy Kevin a suit for his hard work. We wish Kevin would have won again so we could hear his triumphant "Ta-da!" 

Bottom: Michael, Ash, Eli and Ashley

Ash says playing second fiddle to Michael is like washing paint brushes for Picasso, then in the next breath says he thinks he can give it a good run. Michael V. is embarrassed by being compared to such a legend and slowly backs away.

Ashley isn't good at defending herself, and Tom lists a bunch of problems with their dishes. Ashley didn't cook the prawns well enough, and the gnocchi were too salty, which Eli may have ultimately been responsible for but never fesses up to the mistake.

Shocker of the evening: Ashey goes home! Wow. She's disappointed. Undercooked prawns did her in. She cries, and we are also shocked she's going home. She stood behind what she did for the most part. Guess it wasn't good enough for the judges in the end.

Predictions

Who's going home next: Justine thinks Jerkface Mike's number is up. She thinks it's time for another surprise elimination (that, and she's just sick of his jerkfacedness). Liz thinks Ash dodged a big bullet this week and should have been sent home based solely on his overly cheesy Picasso line. We've heard judges in past seasons say the competition isn't "Top Sous Chef." 

Favorites: Justine's really digging Michael V.'s tattoos this week, but she's still Team Bryan. He shows up, works hard and isn't dramatic about it. Liz may be changing loyalties. While Michael V. will always have a place in her heart, Bearded Kevin's versatility and streak of impressive performances is making an impression on her. Yes, folks, she may go for the beard. 

Which Voltaggio brother do you think will go home first, since tonight's episode showed us at least one of them is human? What dishes do you think best embody the umami experience? Is Top Chef product placement getting out of hand, or does it make you wish you had a $10,000 gift card to Macy's? 

It's the best part of the So You Think You Can Dance auditions -- VEGAS!

152 finalists are facing off, taking on all kinds of challenges from the choreographers, to make the Top 20 and the live show.

Up first, each contestants takes to the stage for a solo.

Nathan Trasoras, who was too young to compete in season five, got his chance to come to Vegas this time around. The judges don't give any feedback for this round.

Ellenore Scott  gives a wacky, amusing, but still very technically sound, audition and gets a standing O from the judges.

Then we get a montage of a bunch of auditions at once, but no names. After the first 10 dance, they are called forward and two are cut. Brutal. (By the way, I can't list all the names because they're not all ending up on screen, and some of these are just not guessable.)

Shelby "Skip" Skipper, the New Orleans "bounce" dancer, gets to show his solo on screen, and there's good reason -- he's fab. 

Allison Becker, who is hearing-impaired, got cut, but we didn't get to hear much about that.

Thomas Hamilton, whom we met in the Atlanta auditions, is trying to better his life. He tries to climb the scaffolding in his audition, and Nigel stops him. He ends up getting cut.

Next is a montage of cuts. 

Same-sex ballroom couple Jacob Jason and Willem de Vries audition. The judges like Willem, but not Jacob, which is upsetting to him, and they don't get to say goodbye to each other. 

41 were cut in the first round, leaving 111 to take on hip-hop. Teddy (the goofball in the golf pants) does surprisingly well and makes it through, but a lot of others do not. Ryan Kasprzak (Evan's brother from last season) gets a 3-3 split in the hip-hop round, so he barely makes it through. But hip-hop is his toughest genre, so he's hoping for the best in the next rounds.

For the next round, Louis Van Amstel (!) and Anya trains the finalists in a really tough cha-cha routine. Billy Bell takes an elbow to the face and can't return to the stage until he starts bleeding. Krumper Russell (the first ever to make it to Vegas) is partnered with ballroom star Ivetta (whom we met last night) and they're feeling confident. They get through -- and the judges praise Russell and tell him how unexpected his amazing performance was. B-boy Legacy gets nailed for lack of personality, and he is told he'll have to "dance for his life." Everyone else -- including Billy and his partner, who didn't get to practice with the music after his injury -- in this group makes it through. Ryan Kasprzak is in the final group, and he looks totally frantic during the dance. Nigel Lythgoe looks heartbroken, but tells him he's cut. Bummer. He's a lot of fun, but this wasn't a great audition.

In the dance-for-your-life portion, John Litzler, a contemporary dancer from New Orleans, looks terrified during his solo. Nigel says no, as do three others, so he is cut. B-boy Legacy is next, and he's very emotional and worried beforehand, but he plans to leave it all on the floor. Nigel tells him his cha-cha stinks, but his b-boying is great. He gets another chance. 

On the other hand, Teddy got cut after cha-cha, as did Skipper.

Vegas continues next week. Huzzah!

What did you think about the start of Vegas rounds? 

 

 

Reports earlier this evening indicated that Tom DeLay will be bowing out of Dancing With the Stars tonight, but that remains to be seen.

In the recap of the last night's show, we get to see some backstage interviews, the most notable of which shows Aaron Carter actually crying over his scores. 

The judges request an unusual dance for the reprisal: Chuck Liddell's samba. Really? It remains zombie-samba (but with lots of smiling and ruffles)!

In the next segment, Queen Latifah performs while Cheryl and Maks dance (and they both seem almost relieved to be getting to show off all their moves without being limited by their partners).

For the first set of results, the lowest-scoring men are called forward. Tom DeLay and Cheryl Burke are safe. Michael Irivin and Anna Demidova are in jeopardy, but Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya are safe.

Then, it's time for the big announcement. Tom DeLay comes forward and says that he will be leaving the competition. He says he got through last night on adrenaline, but after that, he realized he was in too much pain to continue. "You can't practice. And if you can't practice, you'll make a fool of yourself out here, and I don't want to do that to Cheryl." He adds that he would have been doing the Texas Two-Step next week and was really excited about it. Host Tom Bergeron says if Tom D. is feeling better later, he's invited to do the Texas Two-Step at the finale. Tom D. looks thrilled.

In the meantime, though, the star who did have the lowest combined score and votes will be eliminated.

Next, more results: The women with the highest scores are called forward. Mya and Dmitry Chapin are safe, as are Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo. Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough, however, are in jeopardy.

After a break, the four remaining male stars come forward. Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson are safe, as are Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower. Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff are not, but Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer are.

The Macy's Stars of Dance performance tonight is Jabbawockeez! Yes! Love them! (Anybody else watch America's Best Dance Crew?) They dance to "Singin' in the Rain," and it's way cool. They have two guest dancers with them who get unmasked at the end -- it's Lacey Schwimmer and Mark Ballas! 

Queen Latifah's back with another performance, this one of "Ease on Down the Road." 

The lowest-scoring women are on stage to find out their fate: Debi Mazar and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are in jeopardy, but Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel and Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas are all safe.

That gives us four couples in jeopardy. Joanna and Derek learn they're safe, as are Aaron and Karina. Samantha Harris stops to ask Len Goodman who should go home. He says they both have great potential and whoever goes will be missed. Well, that wasn't dramatic. Anyway, the couple leaving is Debi and Maks, meaning Michael and Anna are still safe.

Debi says she's been having a great time and has so many new friends and that it's been amazing. Tom asks her for a definitive answer on how to say her last name since the announcer and Tom were not saying it the same way. She says her grandma says Muh-ZAR, but everyone else just says MAY-zar, so she's gone with that. So both are right.

What do you think about the results? I had a feeling Debi was out since she was in the bottom two with great scores last week (and I said as much on the Dave Durian show on WBAL Radio this morning, actually).

 

People.com is reporting that Tom DeLay is going to drop out of the competition on tonight's live results show of Dancing With the Stars.

According to the story:

By the end of the night, though, DeLay told PEOPLE he was paying the price for the performance. “They’re starting to tell me I shouldn’t have done this,” he said of his feet, which were dressed in orthopedic booties after the show. “I ice them. I’ve got a bone stimulator machine that I put on them.”

It's not 100 percent confirmed, but we'll see for sure in a couple of hours!

Scroll down or click here to get to the screen for the live chat, which will begin around 2.

Tomorrow night, somebody's going to go home because of their samba or rumba. But first, the contestants have to hit the floor on Dancing With the Stars tonight.

The first thing we learn, as the stars descend the stairs, is that the wardrobe folks have gone a little crazy for Latin night. Chuck Liddell in ruffles! Aaron Carter in what looks like a blue satin wrap top! Debi Mazar in more feathers than you'd find at Big Bird's family reunion. 

Co-host Samantha Harris starts things off with an announcement that Tom DeLay's pre-stress fracture has developed into a full-blown stress fracture, so it's still unclear whether he'll be dancing. Oh, I'm sure the producers know, but they need to build some suspense here, so it's going to remain unclear to us. 

First up are Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer, who are doing the rumba. In rehearsal, Lacey's on Mark to calm down and slow things down, but he is very energetic, so it's tough. In the performance, they do slow things down -- and have a little story about how he's flirting with other girls and lying about it -- but it feels like they slow so much that they only dance on a tiny fraction of the floor. Seems a bit static. Head judge Len Goodman says the rumba is tough for the male celebrities. He felt it was too "hard," and lacked chemistry and warmth, but he loved Lacey's one-leg turn. Bruno Tonioli says it was an "anticlimax." He adds that it lacked fluidity. Carrie Ann Inaba says his quality of movement is up there with Mya and Aaron, but he's lacking confidence, which made it "kind of uncomfortable to watch." Scores: 6-6-6, for an 18/30. (Oh, it turns out the woman Mark was being flirty with at the beginning is his wife.)

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough want to get back to the top of the pack with their samba. She wants to step it up in particular because she doesn't have as large of a fan base as some of the other competitors. These two are all over the floor and having a grand old time, but Joanna needs to stop mouthing the words to the songs. She also seems a tad tentative and not super fluid at times. Bruno says, "The good times are back." He says it was full of excitement and life, but that there was some unsteady footwork, but it was otherwise very good. Carrie Ann calls her fearless and says it was super-sexy. Len says, "It had quality stamped all over it. ... Great dancing, well done." Scores: 7-8-8, for a 23/30.

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin are hoping to bring a romantic air to the dance floor. In rehearsal, they aren't feeling it, so Mya brings in candles and rose petals to the studio to help them find their characters. The performance itself is sexy and sweet. (Also, I totally hear Carrie Ann yelling "LIFT!" in my head when Dmitry lifts Mya's feet off the floor at one point.) (Hey, random, Paula Abdul is there!) Carrie Ann says she has chills it was so good, but "There was what I'm not sure was a lift, but the honest truth is I was so mesmerized, I can't call it." (Guess that really was just in my head.) Len says they had chemistry and momentum, but there was so much going on that sometimes you need a little simplicity to make it sparkle. Bruno tells him to take a Valium. He says she was the epitome of a seductress, and, "No price is too high for you; I'd pay!" Scores: 10-7-10, for a 27/30. OK, wait, so last time Len gave them a lower number it was because they had too little content, and this time it was because there was too much? I don't get it.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas have trouble in rehearsal because Melissa is just not getting the steps, and she's been criticized for her footwork, so she has to push it. She says she is determined to embody the samba. In the performance, they give it their best effort, and you can really tell that Melissa is trying, but the pieces just aren't coming together. Her footwork still seems pretty messy, and things just feel off-kilter. Len says parts were really excellent and that she came out and performed. He adds that she had strong legs, but her legs were kind of divorced from the top and needed more rhythm. Bruno says she lost timing a couple of times, but her foot placement was a lot better, and that overall, it was an improvement from last week. Carrie Ann says she is coming out of her shell a little more every week, but that she doesn't "believe it when you dance," adding that some moments, she shows her wild abandon and then others, her fear is evident. Scores:  6-6-7, for a 19/30.

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower have the rumba this week, and Chelsie is surprised that he knows all about the sexy and romantic dance. In rehearsal it seems like they have a little crush working. And they work this to their advantage in the performance -- their chemistry is evident, which takes away a lot of the potential awkwardness from the dance. Bruno: "That's chemistry! That's how to play a girl! But ... you have to work on the fluidity." Carrie Ann says they are so cute, and that "in the rumba, the chemistry takes you far. ... You give you good frame." Len says he so much wanted to be nice, but it was wild and had no finesse, so it became hectic and he was disappointed. Scores:  8-5-7, for a 21/30.

Debi Mazar and Maksim Chmerkovskiy want to bounce back from last week's bottom-two experience. He invites Mel B in to give her a pep talk, and in rehearsal, she's a lot more focused. They dance the samba, and it's OK, but it seems a lot slower than the other couples' sambas. (They're dancing to "Love is in the Air," which isn't exactly a party song.) Carrie Ann says it was cute, but a hair safe, especially since she's a "fiery chick." Len says what she did she did well and precisely, but it lacked some flavor. Bruno says she has a fiery personality and there was a disconnect, but also, she had two missteps. She says he is right. Scores: 6-5-6, a 17/30.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson are doing the rumba, and they're having trouble bringing the romance to the dance floor. In the performance, though, not so much. It's a tad awkward at the very beginning, when Kym is just standing there, and Donny has to do all this hip action solo, but once they're dancing together, it's great. Len says his foot action was a little off, but that overall, he did a great job. Bruno says it looked pretty, like Swan Lake, and a little "airy fairy" at times, which strangely prompts Donny to run over to him and give him a kiss. Bruno tells him to "come to the dark side," and the Donny dips him like he's giving him a big kiss, then dips him again. Well, OK, then. "I don't think they're going to let me back in Utah anymore," Donny says. "Let's all go to Bora Bora!" Bruno says. Carrie Ann: "That was a bit awkward.  What was I thinking? The rumba! Very daring to do a solo in the rumba ... there was a genuine vulnerability that I saw." Scores: 7-7-7, for a 21/30.

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova are pushing hard in preparation for the week's samba. At first, they're just frustrated with each other, but eventually, they make a checklist of goals and work everything out. In the performance, Michael finally looks comfortable and like he's having fun, which is a major improvement. The dance itself, though, seems a little safe again, more like the first week. Bruno says they are going in reverse, that he has charm, but he was dancing like a tank and was on the wrong foot pretty much the whole time. Carrie Ann says he is a big man with a gigantic spirit and he's dancing too small. Len says it's a tough dance, and this was a little disappointment. (Michael is feeling the effects of all the time used up by the Donny-Bruno antics -- very little actual feedback.) Scores: 5-4-5, for a 14/30.

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo prepare for the rumba, but the closeness and the attempts at acting sexy make Natalie feel uncomfortable, so she turns red and gets embarrassed. To help work that out, Alec brings in his wife, Edyta (!), to show what an impact eye contact has on chemistry. Natalie says she's going to try to make it work. Edyta gives her "permission to go all out with my husband." In the performance (to "Tonight" by Genesis), Natalie mostly manages to keep the eye contact. Their movement is nice and fluid and the chemistry is a bit better. I do notice Natalie kind of pausing and taking a breath to get her nerve up before she does this backbend move, but I can't really blame her for that one. It is a momentary break in character, though. Carrie Ann: "I knew you had it in you!" She loved it the intensity and the gorgeousness. Len says it was expressive and good leg action and hips. "I thought it was an excellent performance." Bruno: "I knew you could fly, but you've gone stratospheric tonight!" Scores: 9-8-9, for a 26/30.

Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya get ready for the party dance, the samba. Chuck is awash in ruffles for the performance, but he quickly tears them off.  So Chuck+the party dance could have equaled disaster, and it doesn't, exactly. Anna definitely gives him content to work with, so he does a lot of dance technique, and his face looks like he's having fun, but he's still kind of stalking around the floor. Len congratulates Anna for doing a great job with Chuck and giving them a thoroughly entertaining performance. Bruno says you can see the huge amount of work, but it's still like "a samba from Zombietown." Carrie Ann says he has the right attitude, with the ruffles and the kick to Len, and that it was fun. Scores: 6-5-6, for 17/30.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff prepare for the rumba, but Aaron keeps overdoing the movements. In the performance, this is definitely an issue -- he just looks kind of clunky and like he's trying too hard. Also, why is he wearing a blue satin wrap shirt? I can't get past it. Bruno says he had plenty of attack and determination, but it lacked fluidity and needed more light and stage. Carrie Ann says he is over-exaggerating everything, but he did a great job. Len says it lacked musicality and that he was flinging his arms around.  Scores: 8-6-7, for a 21/30.

Tom DeLay has been promoted all night as the big drama: Will he or won't he be dancing? That pre-stress fracture is a stress fracture now. His doctors and the producers have told him to withdraw from the competition, and he's got pain in his other foot now, too. Tom Bergeron talks with Tom and Cheryl Burke, and he shares that he has stress fractures in both feet now. Tom B. asks if he's dropping out, and he says, "What's a little pain when you can party?" So they will be doing the samba after the break. They dance to "Why Can't We Be Friends," and I finally notice that he has the Republican elephant on his back and Cheryl has a Democratic donkey on her dress. That gets a little chuckle. The whole thing is pretty OK, all things considered, except for when Tom has to do solo hip action. I'm sorry, it's just wrong, and I didn't need to see that. Carrie Ann says he is easy on the eyes when he dances and he has good entertainment value, but it could have been more exciting. Len says he's a hero, that if he had a stress fracture in both feet, he wouldn't even be judging. Bruno says he's a super trouper, but yes, the performance suffered, and they have to judge what they saw. Scores: 6-4-5, for a 15/30.

Kelly Osbourne wants to fight back after her mistakes in last week's tango. She and Louis Van Amstel prepare for the samba, determined to do better. In the performance, she definitely has some of her effervescence from week one back, and it seems like she's trying to have fun, too, even when she does stumble a bit. At the beginning of the song, there is a line about a kiss when their faces are right by each other, and she sticks her tongue out and licks his face? (That sounds way more extreme than it was, but it was still surprising.) At the end, she gives him a big kiss, and speaking of surprising, Louis looks like that was not expected. Anyway, she has her mojo back. Len says that her problem is confidence and that her performance level will rise when she believes in herself. Bruno says she's back and had some beautiful sections. He advises her to forget about doubt. Carrie Ann says when she gets it right, her technique is great, and she just needs to listen to the other two. Scores: 7-6-7, for a 20/30.

So what did you think about the evening of dance? I felt like it was pretty uneven (and clearly the judges thought so, too).

One last thing: Anybody else notice at when they were giving the numbers, the voices listed Tom and Cheryl's name and number second, while Joanna and Derek's info and video were on screen, and Joanna and Derek's name and number second to last, while Tom and Cheryl's info and video were on screen. Sounds like they delayed Tom and Cheryl for maximum ratings impact, but didn't take everything into account. Yikes! At least the numbers and names lined up, even if the voices didn't. Hopefully this doesn't cause voting problems.

 

Oh, Marcy, Marcy, Marcy. I admire your resolve to take in your surroundings in all the locales you were visiting on The Amazing Race. But it's too bad you forgot about that last word, "race."

Seriously, sometimes last night it felt like Marcy and Ron had a loose itinerary to stick to ("Oooh, after this, we have to rearrange some letters to spell out a local word. Then, maybe we should check out Reunification Palace. What do you think about that? Perhaps a spot of dinner first?"). So I wasn't that surprised when they got eliminated.

But also showing some less than stellar racing skills were Lance and Keri. Ugh. How many mistakes did they make last night? First, Keri thought they were still in Ho Chi Minh City even though they had moved overnight during the pit stop. Then, once they were given their clue at the water-dragon challenge, they totally failed to understand that the clue was inside the bullet they were given upon completing the challenge. They ran around yelling at people for clues (thanks for playing the Ugly American role so well, guys!) and then finally put it together. Then, at the end of the giant-concrete-animal-and-balloon challenge, Keri couldn't figure out who to give the balloons to, and Lance rampaged around for a while until they finally put it all together. It was difficult to watch. (That's not even taking the crazy-smeared eye makeup into account!) I'm looking forward to them getting kicked out.

The rest of the episode still seemed a little slow somehow -- maybe because there are just still so many teams?

What did you think?

Today at 2, be there or be square, we're going to give this chat thing another go. We'll talk Dancing With the Stars, of course, but we can talk about whatever reality shows your little hearts desire, too. If you sign up below, you can get an email reminder before the chat. See you then!

 

Ashley Jewel (who went by A.J.), ex-fiance of Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member Kandi Burruss, died outside an Atlanta nightclub Friday night.

Jewel and Burruss called off their engagement in August.

You can read the details here.

UPDATE: There are more details, including a statement from Burruss, in this story.

 

America's Got Talent watchers, remember Recycled Percussion? The group, which performs a high-energy show of, as the name implies, percussion on recycled items, is performing at Stevenson University on Oct. 19.

Tickets are $5-$8. Call 443-352-4302. The school is at 100 Campus Circle in Owings Mills. For more information, go to www.stevenson.edu.

(Photo courtesy of the group)

They tried to tell me not to recap, I said noooooo, nooooo, nooooo!

Greetings single moms, stay-at-home dads and guys who are trying to make nice with their wives by watching Lifetime. I'm Kevin Van Valkenburg, sports writer by day, Project Runway addict by night.

The last time we saw our intrepid, amateur designers, Nicolas and his bubble-wrap ice princess were tricking the judges into giving him the victory, while Ra'mon was being sent home for making a dress that looked like a homeless Kermit the Frog in drag.

This week's episode begins with Louise furiously brushing her hair and nervously admitting she can't afford another snoozefest with the judges. Cut to the guys' apartment, where Epperson, Nicolas, Christopher and Logan are having an Algonquin Round Table discussion about gender issues and a man's role in modern society.

Just kidding. Actually, Nicolas is saying catty things about Shirin and laughing way too hard at his own jokes. Meanwhile, the chalkboard in the women's apartment says, "Welcome Home Logan!" which doesn't make any sense, unless the female designers kidnapped Logan last night and took turns having their way with him, only to turn him free minutes before Tim Gunn stopped by with crepes and lattes for breakfast.

Heidi's dressed in all black today as she saunters onto the runway to inform our designers that their challenge this week will be all about color. (Seems like someone in the wardrobe wasn't paying attention in a production meeting.) Shirin does the obligatory talking head where she tries to build the suspense by saying, "I don't know what it could be. We could be making garments out of big colorful parachutes for all I know."

Suddenly I'm intrigued by the possibilities of this challenge. Might we see Tim Gunn throw Nicolas out of an airplane and tell him he has to design a cocktail dress out of his parachute?

Alas, someone named Martine Reardon is here from Macy's to explain that the designers will be working with blue, and that they'll have to create two looks for the company's INC brand. The winner gets to design a holiday dress that will be sold at Macy's and Macys.com, as well as a night alone with Logan and an assortment of sensual oils. (Only one of these things is true.)

But wait! It's actually a team challenge, meaning that the chances of someone choking Nicolas in a rage just went up 25 percent. (Don't let me down, Gordana.) Carol Hannah wins my heart forever by doing the video game death wail -- Whah, whah, whah! -- to sum up everyone's dismay at having to partner up.

Time to sketch and pitch designs to Ms. Reardon, who is wearing an all-white pantsuit that looks like it was stolen from Tom Wolfe. (Do they sell that in a XXL on Macys.com? Because if so, I'll take two, as long as it comes with pocket squares.) Reardon picks Irina, Althea, Carol Hannah, Christopher and Louise as the team leaders, and then Tim Gunn reaches into his bag of black magic to choose partners.

Althea gets things started by choosing -- surprise! Logan.

"Do you want to work with me? Please say yes!" she whimpers.

"I don't know if I have a choice," Logan says, and everyone shares a hearty laugh, even though Logan seems on the verge of tears at the prospect of being Althea's sex slave for the next 12 hours. Seriously, this is getting out of hand. Logan is going to have to design himself a chastity belt if he wants to make it to Bryant Park alive.

Christopher picks Epperson. Louise picks Nicolas, even though he has immunity and giggles like a serial killer. Irina can't decide between Gordana and Shirin, so Gordana volunteers to work with Irina, leaving Carol Hannah and Shirin to form a team I quickly dub "Innocence and Earnest."

In a flash, we're at the front door of Mood. Last week, I theorized that Tim Gunn handled the transportation to Mood in a big pink school bus, but after putting more thought into it this week, I've decided everyone just grabs onto his sport coat and they apparate like in "Harry Potter." This way, they don't have to deal with Los Angeles traffic, and it also furthers my theory that Tim is the Dumbledore of the fashion industry. I just hope he realizes Nicolas might be the Tom Riddle/Voldemort character before it's too late.

In Mood, Louise actually loses her dress money and is forced to run around the store in a panic while Nicolas fantasizes about where he'll bury her body if she can't find the money. Luckily, she locates it, as well as her sketches (oy!) in the back of the store, under some boxes of fabric. If you ask me, this team is off to a great start.

Christopher and Epperson, on the other hand, are having a classic bromance when we return to the workroom, telling one another several times how fabulous they are. It's like Batman and Robin, really, as long as Batman was a 49-year-old skinny black man and Robin had hoop earrings and Kevin Federline's facial hair.

Surprise, surprise, Althea and Gordana give testimonials to Logan's hotness, and then Gordana tells us the affection the designers feel for him is not limited to the ladies. Poor Logan. Everywhere he turns, someone is asking him to thread their needle. I bet when he lays down for a few hours of restless sleep tonight, he'll have nightmares of Zoe Glassner hiding under his bed in nothing but her underwear. Gordana and Irina, in between hours of French seaming, snarl at one another and complain about having to play nice in their talking heads.

Tim Gunn's in the house, and he's wearing a delightful chocolate colored blazer. (Perhaps wardrobe decided to universally rebel against the Smurf blue in this episode.) Tim decides to start with Team Innocence and Earnest, even though Shirin has dubbed them "Team Awesome." There's nothing awesome about leggings, however, and Carol Hannah has decided to add leggings to their outfit. Even Jennifer Beals' character in "Flashdance" thinks this is a bad idea.

Louise and Nicolas seem to be doing OK, but Irina and Gordana can barely hide their contempt for each another. Tim tells them they have a lot to "discuss" after the argue openly in front of him about the waistband on their dress, and then Irina shrewdly slips away to call the INS to see if Gordana's papers are in order. (Again, only one of these things is true.) Team Batman and Robin have "reinvented the shirt dress" according to Tim, but he's also worried their outfits don't go together.

Nicolas goes on a rant about ruffles, saying they were made to hide flaws, and "they make me sick." Is it weird that Nicolas' ruffle rage perfectly captures the way I feel about him and his designs? Carol Hannah and Shirin are giggling their way through the final hour of the night when Irina lets us know in a talking head their outfits look like "they were bought at a discount store. Like a $10 shirt on sale for $5.99 kind of thing." Irina has quickly become the producers' go-to designer for cold-blooded, catty comments, and she manages to do it without relying on cheesy catch phrases like "fierce" and "hot tranny mess," which, I've decided, makes her my favorite designer this season.

In the guys' apartment the next morning, Nicolas expresses regret that he can't betray Louise in front of the judges, proving that he's closer to Draco Malfoy than he is to Voldemort (I guess the hair should have given it away), because Voldemort would destroy Louise just for sheer entertainment. In the workroom, Irina calls Gordana's outfit sad and depressing-looking, which seems unfair to me because that outfit, though drab, would be like the freshest thing in Yugoslavia, so I think Gordana should be graded on a sliding scale.

Models and make-up. Nicolas and Louise are having a ruffle-inspired panic. Gordana points out that she "saved her ass" with some last-minute alterations to her top, and then mentions that she's happy because she knew Irina would have, "as they say, thrown me under bus." Man, Gordana's broken, monotone English is comedy gold. I would pay large sums of money to watch her and Heidi square off in a West Coast rap battle refereed by Biz Markie.

Tim is getting impatient trying to herd models and designers to the runway show. The Weinsteins should really think about getting him a bullwhip. On the runway, Heidi is wearing an all white outfit with chains on it -- watch your symbolism, German lady -- and it looks a little bit like World War II pajamas but I can't concentrate because FREAKING MICHAEL KORS IS BACK! OMG, MICHAEL KORS IS BACK! He looks like he's spent that last month in St. Barth's getting tan, eating fried food and letting his hair plugs take root, but I've missed him so much, I think I'm about to weep. A skinny blond Englishwoman named Zanna Roberts is here from Marie Claire, filling in for Nina Garcia, who is apparently still unaware this season of Project Runway has actually started and no one can find her phone number.

Runway show. Irina and Gordana -- Team Cold War -- have a pair of decent outfits, although Irina's barely looks blue to me. When Logan's model Tara struts down the runway, her skirt creeps up her thigh to the point where I'm flushed and feel like I need a cigarette. Given the way the ladies on this show feel about Logan, I'm now wondering if it was intentional. Louise's rufflepalooza looks hideous, and when we cut to Heidi, it looks like she's contemplating giving Louise das boot. Carol Hannah and Shirin send two boring outfits down the runway, and I'm wishing Nina Garcia were here just so she could make one of them cry about their choice of leggings. Batman and Robin look like they'll survive, although I like the shirt dress they designed more than the teal thing.

Heidi says that Althea and Logan are safe, despite the live-action pornography performed by Tara, but then she throws a curve ball by informing us that Epperson and Christopher are tied with Nicolas and Louise for the low scores. Um, what? We just saw the birth canal of Logan's model and he and Althea get a free pass to the next round?

Carol Hannah and Shirin get compliments for their outfits, including one from Heidi that I suspect is a direct dig at Irina.

"It doesn't look cheap," Heidi says, confirming my suspicion that she's been hiding in the air conditioning ducts, listening to the designers' private conversations.

Somewhat surprisingly, even though they're in the running for the victory, Irina decides to go ahead and have Gordana "thrown under bus" for being "too shy" as a teammate. I don't know why I find Irina's ruthlessness endearing. It's like trying to explain why you love Shark Week. You can't. You just do.

Time to bring out Ruffle Madness and the Dynamic Duo. Zanna Roberts says if she walked into Macy's and saw a ruffle-o-rama, she'd turn around and walk right out. "I'd think I walked into a bad bridal shop," she says. Kors does her one better, saying one of the outfits looks like a bridesmaid dress with a shower loofah attached to it. Heidi rips Nicolas for half-assing it because he has immunity, which gives me tremendous pleasure. I bet, as of this filming, Heidi is pregnant again and just hasn't told anyone yet. She's not mincing words at all. She proves it by telling Christopher his model looks like she's wearing a lobster bib. Kors calls it a "teal char mouse disco pumpkin" and Christopher bursts into tears. You see, this is why Batman works alone.

In the end, my girl Irina is declared the winner, the first person to win twice. Gordana, Carol Hannah, Nicolas and Epperson get a reprieve, and the ax comes down to Christopher and Louise.

(Bum, bum, bum, spooky music, bum, bum!)

Louise gets the auf wiedersehen ... but wait! Could this be our first double elimination?

(Bum, bum, bum, spooky music, drums pounding, bum, bum!)

Christopher survives the ax! He celebrates by bursting into tears, yet again.

Well damn. Quality episode. I almost wish I could lie next to Logan and cry myself to sleep.

Until next time!

Darn you, promo-makers, giving us hope that Jaison was going to realize how much Russell is manipulating everyone and try to get him out.

No, suddenly, way after the fact, he was so determined to get rid of Ben that he threatened to leave if people didn't vote in that direction.

Sigh.

Anyway, basically, there was a combination reward/immunity challenge, Foa Foa lost again, and Shambo was sent over from Galu as an ambassador/information-gatherer. The only thing that really happened on Galu was that the other Russell had to choose between comfort items (bedding) or functional items (more food-gathering gear) as the reward, and he went with comfort. Back at camp, he said it was because he takes care of his women, which was ... weird. Oh, and at the very beginning, Shambo was just outraged at her team for doing yoga. I get that they were trying to show the divide between her and her team, but really: They were doing yoga despite the fact that there was no water and no firewood. So I don't think Shambo was wrong.

Russell was determined to make Ashley leave but bowed to the desire of the team and agreed to vote out Ben. In the meantime, he allied with Mick ("We call you Mick-Dreamy," Shambo said when she got to Foa Foa, which made me giggle, I can't deny it). So who hasn't Russell allied with? Gah, he is so slimy, but somehow it's working. Is he right? Are his fellow tribemates really this dumb?

What did you think?

 

Have you been watching the audition rounds on this season of So You Think You Can Dance?

I have, but I've been so busy I haven't had much time to post. It feels like it's been a little quieter than past audition rounds, but maybe I'm just a little burned out since the show has barely been off the air.

I do like that they've been focusing mostly on the folks who actually can dance. I enjoyed the turnabout a while ago with the kid in the wacky golf pants -- you could just tell that they thought he was going to be terrible and then ... no, turns out he's really compelling on stage.

Tell me your thoughts on these past few episodes. I've enjoyed them, but I am looking forward to really getting started when they go to Vegas.

John-John Williams IV reports on this week's America's Next Top Model:

When Tyra Banks comes to the set of your America's Next Top Model photo shoot, you'd better be on your game.

Too bad Bianca had to learn that lesson the hard way. We'll get to her demise in a little bit.

The episode basically started off with the girls learning how to apply makeup by makeup artist Sam Fine. They were immediately put to the test at Walmart. After a quick meet and greet with judge Nigel Barker and his wife Chrissy Barker, the girls competed in a makeup challenge that required them to race through the store to find the makeup, shoes, and clothes needed to give them a look fit for a go-see. There was a major catch -- there weren't enough items for all the girls. If a contestant wasn't fast enough, she would be out of the running. Only the first three girls would be judged by Nigel and his wife for the top prize -- a photo on the Covergirl page on Walmart.com, and a $1,000 Walmart gift card.

 

Erin tried her best to claw her way to the top. She tried to pull Sundai down to the ground while they were racing through the store. Later she tried to body check Ashley. To add insult to injury Erin also tossed aside Ashley photo during another leg of the race, which essentially eliminated her.

All of Erin's cheap shots got her into the final three, but Sundai won the contest. She was really excited -- remarking that she and her mom shopped at Walmart a lot.

"We're in here like every five minutes," she exclaimed.

Later that night, and the next day on their way to the photo shoot, several of the girls complained about Erin's dirty tactics she used during the race. Erin started to cry. (Boo hoo.)

At the photo shoot the girls got a surprise. Tyra Banks was the photographer. The girls learned that they would be photographed in head wraps for "beauty shots," which basically means upclose photographs of their face. The girl with the best photo received immunity from elimination -- a first for the show. She also recieved a photo shoot with two male models who were discovered by Tyra Banks. (Is there going to be an all-male version of America's Next Top Model in the near future? I wouldn't put it past Tyra Banks!)

Brittany, who posed with a sheer tan cloth over her face, won the challenge. The girls definitely were jealous of her.

This week the guest judge was China Chow, a 5'3" model.

The judges said: Erin took a stunning photo; Kara showed a deadness; Ashley was not pushing through on her photo; Laura's photo looked like a Renaissance painting; Bianca looked uncomfortable and didn't show a softness in her face -- again; Rae looked strong and soft at the same time; Nicole needed to relax her face; Sundai took a beautiful shot; and Jennifer should serve as an example for the other contestants because she took risks during her shoot.

Jennifer had the second best photo after Brittany. The bottom two were Ashley and Bianca. Tyra said that the contestants were in the bottom two because: Bianca had a hardness in her face when she got in front of the camera; and Ashley was so hard to photograph because she was "the most difficult girl to shoot," Tyra said. (I still don't know what she meant.)

Anywho, Ashley was saved. Bianca got the pink slip.

Bianca said that it "hurt bad." She said she expected to get to at least the top five. She said she wished she could have shown a softer side.

Project Runway alum (and Annapolis native) Christian Siriano is going to get his own show on Bravo, Variety reports.

Also with deals in the works are Fabio Viviani from season five of Top Chef and Bethenny Frankel from Real Housewives of New York.

The item from Variety states: The flamboyant Siriano, who won season four of Project Runway (back when the show still aired on Bravo), will be featured in his show as he sets up a new shop and markets his clothing line.

See photos of Christian and other Maryland reality TV stars in this gallery.

Here's John-John Williams IV on last week's episode of America's Next Top Model (recap of this week's is coming soon!)

The episode started with Ashley and Lulu talking smack about resident bad-girl Bianca. I'm not saying that Bianca didn't have it coming with her horrendous antics in the past few episodes, but she had the last laugh.

The girls went to get a little runway coach from Miss J Alexander who was joined by Diva Davanna, a 9-year-old model, who knows how to walk the catwalk like nobody's business. The pint-sized beauty hit every pose thrown at her. She was really impressive.

The girls were paired up so they could learn to walk the runway alongside another model. This was pretty uneventful except for the crap Ashley was talking about Brittany during her confessional. Ashley said that Brittany's walk was "forgettable" and that her proportions were weird and made her look short.

Later that night, Bianca got a wake-up call when Sundai told her that Courtney, who was eliminated last week, talked crap about her with Lulu. Bianca later confessed that her feelings were hurt and that she intended to put up more of an emotional wall.

The next day, the girls put their new skills to work in a Kevan Hall fashion show. Ann Shoket, the editor-in-chief of Seventeen Magazine, made her annual appearance, and told the girls that the best catwalker would win a spread in Seventeen Magazine. The winner would also get to chose two competitors to join her in the shoot.

The girls had to walk the runway with much taller models to further reinforce the fact that they this year's contestants are 5'7" or shorter. (Enough already!) Brittany won the competition. (I'm not sure I really agree with that. Her walk didn't do anything for me.) She chose Kara and Laura for the photo shoot, even though Lulu and Ashley were critical of her walk the night before.

Lulu and Bianca turned their fangs back in the direction of Bianca later that night. Bianca was having a heart-to-heart conversation with Nicole in the hot tub, while Lulu and Ashley looked on from the house making a slew of comments about Nicole's naive personality and Bianca's fakeness. Later the two warned Nicole about Bianca. Nicole brushed it off and said in a confessional that Ashley was a "mean girl" and that Lulu was her sidekick.

 

The next day the girls did a photo shoot where they.... wait for it.... attempted to look taller. (That really isn't much of a theme. I'll skip to judging.)  

The guest judge of the week was Jaime Rishar, who was the first petite model to make the cover of Italian Vogue back-to-back.

The judges said that: Erin took one of the best photos; Bianca brought a softness to her face, which had been missing in past weeks; Brittany did not look tall in her photo; Sundai looked stunning; Laura didn't have enough length; Jennifer had a beautiful picture; Nicole looked 5'13" (not a typo) and that she looked like one of Anna Wintour's new models; Lulu looked pretty and average; Kara looked strong and used the set to her advantage; Rae didn't really look longer because she was laying down; and Ashley didn't really look that tall.    

The best photograph of the week went to Kara. Brittany and Ashley's sidekick Lulu were in the bottom two. Judge Nigel Barker said that Lulu was one of the cutest girls, but didn't have an "it factor." Brittany was in the bottom because she looked too short in her photograph. 

Tyra told Lulu that she lacked tension, which made her look like she wasn't interested in modeling, so she was out. Lulu vowed to work on the tips and to be a successful model. (Hopefully she will work on her attitude while she's working on the modeling.)

 

John-John Williams IV gives us the rundown on last night's Hell's Kitchen: 

You couldn't wipe the smile from Tennille's face at the end of Hell's Kitchen. But why was she smiling? Could it have been Dave's departure? What about Suzanne? Ariel had been screwing up. Could it have been that Kevin took a disastrous tumble? Or was she smirking in defiance after a tongue-lashing from Chef Gordon Ramsay?

Any one of the five contestants could have gotten the boot on the most recent episode of Hell's Kitchen. But it didn't start off that way. In fact there were two front runners at the beginning of the episode.

The contestants entered their first individual challenge when they were tasked with making a visually pleasing dish for judges from Bon Appetit magazine. The hopefuls had 45 minutes to create their masterpiece. The top two dishes would then be tasted to determine the winner.

Tennille's red snapper broke, so she was basically out of the competition. Dave did a horrible job explaining his dish to the judge, which I suspect played a factor in his third place finish. And Suzanne's salad appeared to be too simple.

Ariel's John Dory and Kevin's sea bass were voted the top two dishes. After the taste test, it was determined that they tied. As a reward, each chef had their recipe featured in the magazine. (Surely neither of them could be in danger of going home. Or could they?)

The losing contestants were forced to pick up garbage on the side of a highway as punishment. During the "manual labor" Dave aggravated his injured wrist. (Could this be the demise of him?)

 

Kevin really showed his true ugly side this episode. He basically urged Dave to drop out of the competition because of his injured wrist. He told Dave that he shouldn't risk permanent injury. (What a weasel! But was it enough to push Dave out of the competition?)

All the wheels came off during dinner service.

Tennille overcooked her risotto. Suzanne overcooked scallops. Tennille, who was tasked with recooking the risotto, messed it up again. Ramsay was furious. After a little detective work he found out that it was actually Kevin who incorrectly cooked the rice. (Tennille shared the blame because she didn't spot it. But the lion's share of the blame rested with Kevin.)

"Chef was on Kevin like white on risotto," Tennille said during a confessional. (That was most definitely the quote of the episode.)

Meanwhile, Ariel undercooked her chicken. Suzanne served raw fish. Kevin had the nerve to comment that women can't cook. (Didn't he just screw up the rice?) Then Ariel sent out some pitiful looking lamb, which got Ramsay's blood boiling again. He took her out of the kitchen into the restaurant to yell at her in front of the patrons. It was really embarrassing.

The contestants completed dinner service, but Ramsay said that there was no real winner that evening. He charged them with choosing the bottom two for possible elimination. The group chose Ariel for her "inconsistencies" and Suzanne for sending out raw fish, overcooking scallops and then having the nerve to think she did a good job.

When it came time to essentially beg for their lives, Suzanne said she was a better chef than Ariel. Ramsay made a surprised face at that comment. I knew what was coming next. He told Suzanne it was time for her to go. That's when Tennille began to grin from ear to ear. But not too fast, Ramsay wasn't done yet. He told Tennille that she dodged a bullet.

Really? Shouldn't Ramsay have been directing that comment to Ariel? After all, Tennille was only partly to blame for the risotto. I guess we'll see if her luck runs out next week.

It's not just you: Despite Maryland's small size, the state has had large representation on reality television shows in recent years.

We've put together a photo gallery showcasing the state's reality celebs, which you can see here. If we missed anybody -- or if someone from the area appears on a new show -- let me know in a comment or email.

(Photo of Charla and Mirna on "The Amazing Race" courtesy of CBS)