The kids are up next. The mini-competition is a fun idea. The first couple are the brother and sister of one of the girls who danced last season. So cute! I love watching the kids dance. Craig and Samantha do the chachacha. It's great. Michael Flatley, our guest judge, says it was sensational. He tells them dancing will teach them the value of hard work. Bruno says it was vibrant and precise. Carrie Ann says it was like "poetry in motion" and she gives them a "woo-hoo!" with some arm flailing.

Their competition is the pair of Simon and Lucy. Simon says he started dancing because his mom bribed him with $20, and that no one at school knows he's a dancer. Ha! (Secret's out now!) Simon and Lucy dance the samba. I really like their dance; they have a lot of inventive moves. Carrie Ann says Lucy has a fantastic shape, and that it was well done. Michael likes it, too, but is a bit more ... reserved?  Bruno says it was fun and echoes Carrie Ann's love of Lucy's extension. There was no woo-hoo from the judges, though. Craig and Samantha are moving on.

The Pussycat Dolls (in trashy outfits) and Missy Elliot (with a gold sparkly mike and black sweat pants) are performing now. Yawn. (My boyfriend is telling me the details of the group; apparently, the main one sticks around, the the background signers are a "revolving" group of women, he tells me. Why does he know this?) 

Cody says Julianne's surgery went well. Tom tells a bad joke about her competing in a triathlon. We learn that Warren and Kym are continuing to the next round.

And now ... Michael "the Celtic Tiger' Flatley dances on a flaming stage (I'm not joking). First, he dances behind a red screen. We see just his shadow. After some sirens, he's out in the open, tapping away. There's steam rising from a box he's on. ("I don't know if this could be worse," says my boyfriend.) Now there's fire! He runs away just before the box he was tapping on explodes. Phew!

Next, a bunch of people, including a Marine, tells us what the celebrities need to do to win. Can anyone say filler? 

In no particular order, we learn Brooke and Derek and Maurice and Cheryl are safe. After the commercial break, we learn that Cloris and Corky's luck is up (they did have a really low score!). So Susan and partner are safe. Cloris should have been long gone, but you gotta give her credit. "I'm not leaving!" she says. "I'm going to get a pretty costume and be here next week!" she says (in the audience, that is).