'I Love Money' premieres on VH1
Guest blogger Lindsay Diokno recaps the first episode of I Love Money:
I watched the first episode of I Love Money last night, and it was about what I expected -- a lot of smack talk, even more censor beeps and little in the way of clothing. Oh, and someone was eliminated (like that's why I'm watching the show).
The show opened with our 17 contestants arriving at their Mexican paradise by boat. There's footage of the contestants jumping from their boats to the beach and fighting for beds. Boring. All you need to know is that Midget Mac and Mr. Boston don't get beds. Mr. Boston proceeds to be as awkward as possible -- he asks one woman if he can share a bed with her, then changes clothes in the kitchen in front of a second. Mr. Boston is the guy you knew in college who toes the line between awkwardly desperate and completely creepy; you want to root for him, but he makes it very difficult.
(I could talk about the alliances and romantic "bonds" that have already formed, but you know those will be out the window by the next episode, so we'll look at those next week.)
Before the first challenge, the contestants are each given an oversized check for the $250,000 prize, and they're told that when they're "bounced" from the show, their check will be voided. I'm bowled over by this clever wordplay. The contestants also talk about what they'll do with the money if they win.
Toastee says she can't get employment because of her alleged appearance in some materials that are decidedly not family-friendly, so she'll use the money to pay for med school. The Entertainer wants to get out of his parents' house. Whiteboy wants to pay off his bills. Heat and Hoopz want to help out their families.
Some are … potentially more or less admirable: Brandi C. wants to build a life-sized Barbie House. I, too, have always wanted to live in a pink-and-purple Dream House. Megan wants to rescue mentally challenged dogs. So … yeah. Nibblz wants to expand her dominatrix dungeon. I had an English teacher who said the dominatrix profession is one of the three highest-paying careers for women in the U.S. I guess it must not be paying well enough if Nibblz has to compete for $250,000.
Then, the first challenge is given: Each contestant has 30 seconds to stuff his or her bikini with pesos while in a money booth. The two with the highest amount of money will be team captains and pick the two teams for the show. Some people are disqualified for one reason or another, but Midget Mac refuses to wear his bikini all together -- between that and some harsh words he yelled at some of the female contestants, take a wild guess who's getting eliminated this week. Mr. Boston proves himself a creeper once again -- in order to fit more money in his bikini bottom, he pulls out toilet paper that he was using to pad the swimsuit. For some reason, everyone else's bottoms fit normally, but Mr. Boston's fits like a thong. I'm currently drafting my petition to stop him from wearing skimpy Speedos.
The winners are Hoopz and Whiteboy, so they're safe from elimination, and everyone but Midget Mac starts brown-nosing. Teams are picked, and the only really funny moment was Brandi C. doing 10 weak push-ups, falling down after and getting picked last. Midget Mac refused to apologize to the women he insulted, so he was 'bounced."
The final teams are:
Gold: Hoopz, Rodeo, 12 Pack, Entertainer, Heather, Toastee, Pumkin and Nibblz
Green: Whiteboy, Chance, Real, Mr. Boston, Heat, Destiney, Megan and Brandi C.
Picks for the winner? Hoopz, Rodeo or Heather. Rodeo is physically strong and can keep her cool when everyone else starts getting upset. Heather and Hoopz are both competitive and may play a little smarter than everyone else.
Picks for the best fight? A lot of the guys on this show get very violent very fast, so there's a good chance of Mr. Boston getting a beatdown. But based on Flavor of Love, I'm gonna have to say Pumkin getting into a brawl will be the best fight. Picks for the best "romantic bond"? I can't even consider Real, because the preview of him wooing Hoopz actually looks sincere. Heather gets with one of the guys in the previews, so that could lead to some great arguments and alcohol-infused affection. But I'm a fan of classic love triangles, so I'm rooting for the Destiney/Entertainer/Heat angle.
That's about all the reality TV I can talk about for today, so I’ll leave you with this clip of Midget Mac. Stay classy, Midget Mac.
Comments
I am still trying to get over new york not picking real in the first place. I would love to keep it real wit real!
Posted by: sophie | July 10, 2008 9:32 AM