Mel and Maks prepare for their routines. Mel brings in some Spice Girls tour dancers to help mix up their freestyle. Their dance for round one is the cha cha. It has an amusing start and a lot of cheeky flair, but like usual, the music choice confounds me: "Car Wash"? They are working it, but it's sure not traditional cha cha (and I can't wait to hear what judge Len Goodman has to say about it). Len says it was crisp, clean and precise, albeit with "a few funny moments" for him, by which he means, not traditional cha cha. But he says it was a great show opener. Bruno Tonioli says she has become an accomplished dancer in the past two months and calls her a stunner. Carrie Ann Inaba says it was fun, but she was expecting a hair more excitement. The rest of the Spice Girls, sitting in the audience, boo. Scores: 9-9-10, for a 28/30.

Marie and Osmond and Jonathan Roberts are next. They practice all kinds of lifts and holds for the freestyle. Their judges' pick is the samba. Marie says she thinks it was because that was the dance she fainted after, and they didn't get to critique her. Their routine is fast and fun and also cheeky, but I have to say, I still think she doesn't quite have the shoulder shimmy down -- it looks a little stilted (at least compared to Jonathan's). Bruno: "Marie, I'm going to tell you the truth. ... You never fail to entertain. Technically, the samba is tricky. ... Technically, it wasn't your best dance, but as an entertainer, you are always a winner." Carrie Ann says she agrees, but that the dance revealed her range-of-motion weaknesses. Len says for entertainment and fun, she's second to none. Then she starts screeching, "I liked it!" Well, they did, too, they are just being honest about your footwork, which is their job. Sheesh. Scores: 8-8-8, for a 24/30. She looks wounded and starts pleading for the voters to help out.

Helio and Julianne also practice flips and lifts for the freestyle. For their judges' pick, they are redoing the jive, which they got their lowest scores on a few weeks ago. For the jive, Julianne is in this cute pink and black 1950s inspired outfit, and they dance to "The Twist." There's a bit of story and a lot of pulling faces, but it totally works with the silliness of the song. Carrie Ann says she agrees with the audience, who are being so loud that she is almost inaudible. But she adds that he messed up the footwork at the beginning and some of his moves were still a little awkward. Len says he messed up the "toe-heel swivels," and he says though he was high-octane, there were a ton of technical issues. Bruno says he has a gleaming personality and a great performance, but the "footwork wasn't good enough." Scores: 8-8-9, for a 25/30.

Now, the best, FREESTYLE!

Mel and Maks are first again. They dance to Timbaland's "The Way I Are," and the band is having some trouble with whatever they are using to make the male singer's voice sound metallic and mechanical. They are all over the place with some hip-hop moves and some crazy lifts, which the crowd likes. But Maks was still the choreographer, and I think you can tell he's a little out of his element -- it's not that cohesive. But it's still fun. Maks has a tough time getting up at the end -- hopefully he didn't hurt his back. Carrie Ann says this is her favorite because people get to see how far the stars have come, but she didn't think it showed off all her greatness. Len says it was a little disjointed and lacked a little flow, but otherwise, it was great. Bruno says it was risky and spectactular and they did a good job. Scores: 9-9-9, for a 27/30 and a 55/60 total.

Marie and Jonathan start their freestyle with a lift. She is dressed like a porcelain doll, and they dance to "Start Me Up." She is supposed to be a wind-up doll that is starting to come to life, so she is very stiff and mechanical -- and I'm sorry, I don't want to pile on, really I don't, but that was lame. The lifts were impressive, but acting like a machine really played up her weaknesses. Len says what has happened here has happened to him in the past -- something that sounds like a good idea is brought out on the dance floor, and somehow, it just doesn't work. "I don't buy it," says Marie. "I'm not buying it." Len says this routine for him didn't have it even though he is a fan of hers. Bruno says this defies criticism because it was not a dance. Carrie Ann says she is a risk-taker and she is the queen performer, but sometimes we make odd choices, and this was one of them. "I'm a doll designer," she screeches. "I think we all know that," says host Tom Bergeron. Thanks, Tom! Seriously, all the back-talk is killing her likeablility this evening, and let's be honest -- that's why she's gotten this far. She runs backstage calling out, "I love you." To the judges? To the fans? Not sure. Scores: 8-7-7, for a 22/30, and a total 46/60.

Helio and Julianne are last, and they are dressed like racecar drivers, only sparklier. Then, they rip off the outfits to reveal even more spangled costumes. They dance to "Land of 1,000 Dances," and they do the mashed potato and several of the remaining 999 dances. They're having a blast and flipping and turning all over the place, and when it's over, they are pretty excited about their performance. "I did it," he tells Tom. Bruno calls him "Mr. Irresistible." He says it was really difficult, and Helio pulled it off. Carrie Ann says she's worn out from watching it. She says he brings technique and entertainment, but she says he was a little rough on the exit of the lifts. Len: "Best freestyle of the night, by miles." Scores; 9-10-10, for a 29/30 and a total 54/60.

For me, this has not been the best finale ever. I'd be OK with a Helio or Mel B win, but not Marie. She's a good entertainer, but she is simply not the best dancer here.

What say you?