Californians line up next to try to make the cut on American Idol. Olivia Newton John is the guest judge, as she was on Sunday on Grease: You're the One That I Want [exclamation point implied].

Contestant No. 1 is Martik Manoukian, aka Eccentric? He compares himself to a panther, which isn't really that endearing in a grown-up. He says he is "the most exciting entertainer on planet Earth." OK, then. Bring it on, dude. He does a totally choreographed entrance, removes his shirt, and crawls like a panther up to the judges. Then he dances and wanders around the room. He says he is going to sing "The Sweetest Princess by Eccentric." It is ... it is bad. "What the hell was that?" Simon asks. OMG, he has "panther scratches" on his chest. "Noooooo waaaay," intones Randy. It's a no.

Sholandric Stallworth wants to bring back romance and love. And a bad ponytail. And being over the age limit. (Sorry, I have been seeing a little too much of Simon lately.) He shouts the lyrics to "If Ever You're in My Arms Again," which Randy, Paula and Olivia probably don't love as much as they did before he started. It's a no.

Montage of bad and weird.

Marianna Riccio is the daughter of one of Dean Martin's "Gold Diggers." She thinks her family background is going to help her out. She sings "Should I Stay or Should I Go." Simon: "Well, we know the answer to that one." Then he says she sounds like Cher after she's gone to the dentist. She gets on her knees and begs. Because that always works. It's a no. She cries. Her mom goes back in and tells them she really is good enough. Hellooooo, stage mommy. Paula tries to make them go away by telling them how beautiful they are. Simon and Randy talk about how hot and foxy her mom is.

As opposed to Birmingham, where (most) everyone said thanks and left if it was a no, in L.A. we get a montage of people refusing to take no for an answer.

Alaina Alexander is a struggling Los Angeles performer and she had been considering giving up, but is giving it her last shot. She sings "Feelin' Good" by Michael Buble. Simon stops her to tell her it was "really, really, really great." Randy says she was pitchy all over the place. But he says yes, so does Olivia and everyone else. She makes it. They like her.

Phuong Pham things she has a lot in common with Taylor Hicks. She says she told her mom she was going to try out, and her mom sat her down and told her she wasn't "TV pretty." Ow. But, her mom is coming around, she says. She flails around in a way she thinks is like Taylor, but it looks pretty dang affected on her, and her voice is all over, too. "Honestly, I don't think this is for you," Simon says. It's a no.

Background singer (including for Anastasia and Christina Aguilera) Brandon Rogers wants to make it on his own. He sings "Always on My Mind," and let's just say experience goes a long way. He's good, people. (However, I guess being a background singer doesn't preclude him from being an amateur? I wondered that about the session musician from a couple of weeks ago, too.) Simon: "I think out of everyone we've seen today, this is by far the best audition." Olivia: "I felt you in my heart." It's a yes!

Sherman Moore is clearly outside the age limit, but shows off a petition to get on the show. We'll be back to Pore later.

Brandon Miller, who made it to Hollywood last year, is up next. He sings "A Change is Gonna Come." Simon says he's forgettable. He asks if he was better since last year, and Simon (duh) says he can't remember. Randy, Olivia and Paula say yes. Simon says no, but he goes anyway.

Sherman Pore is next. His "lady love" of 20 years was helped him petition to get on the show, but she recently passed away. They let him sing (although clearly he isn't going to make it through). He sings, in honor of his "lady love," "You Belong to Me." (Yes, I teared up, too.) He gets a lot of clapping, and handshakes and hugs. He says he is a winner.

Twenty-one from the first day made the cut.

Day 2, Randy says a winner could come from L.A.

Ever-making-out couple Cavett Carr (aka Sparkles) and Darold Gray are from Compton, Calif., and they met at the bus stop. They love each other. But can they sing? Well, she can't. She also can't flirt. But she did make Simon nervous. Darold is told that Sparkles flirted with him. He says he isn't jealous. He sings "I Wish It Would Rain." It's yet another occasion when singing is not the right verb. It's another no. But they still love each other.

Short clip of a guy who sings horribly and then when Simon says not a note was in tune, he agrees, smiles and leaves.

Next is a kind of odd guy named Eric Mueller has been preparing for two years learning to sing. But he sounds like a cartoon character. Simon says: "THAT is not serious." He says it is. He tries to sing lower. I think he should have spent two years getting training instead of training himself. Or possibly doing anything else. It's a no. He leaves, but then Simon spots that he had been training himself with the DVD "Sing Like the Stars!!" which features Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. Ha! Simon calls him back in then goes out to talk to him, and Randy and Paula try to talk to keep Simon from asking about the DVD and succeeds.

Nineteen hopefuls from day 2 made it through, of whom they showed us exactly zero. So that's an even 40 from L.A.

Next week: San Antonio.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 10:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: American Idol
        

American Idol heads to Birmingham, Ala., home of Taylor Hicks, Ruben Studdard and Bo Bice, for the next round of auditions.

Erica Skye, a biological sciences major at Auburn University, sings "Unchained Melody." Sadly, she says it is by Leann Rimes. It's pretty flat and shaky and weird. Simon says it was horrible. She keeps singing, and they make her stop, a couple of times. Paula actually leaves. She is shocked they think it's bad. It's a no.

Montage of crying.

Katie Bernard has a very (!) high pitched talking voice. Her singing voice, on the other hand, is lower and quite lovely, except for the overly growly thing. Randy says yes, Simon says no, Paula says she just got married and should hang with her husband. She runs to get her husband ("He's the man with the twitch," says Simon) so he will convince Paula to say yes. She finally does.

Tatiana McConnico is a 17-year-old student at an Atlanta performing arts high school who says she was born to sing. She sings with a huge voice, and she is through basically immediately. Randy says she might be the best in Birmingham.

Diana Walker, also of Atlanta, is up next. She sings "Saving All My Love," or rather shouts her way through it. The judges just cackle. Simon asks what usually happens when she sings in public. She claims to usually get a standing ovation. Randy asks: "When they stand, do they exit really quickly?" It's a no.

Bernard Williams wants to be the next Birminghamian American Idol. He sings "Rock With Me." Simon loves it, 100 percent yes. Paula says she was going to say he has a great tone but is completely off key and that she is shocked Simon loved it. She says no. Randy says yes, solely because Bernard called him "dawg," it seems.

Margaret Fowler goes through the humiliation chamber next. She's dressed in a fuzzy yellow dress, so they feel the need to compare her to Big Bird and play the Sesame Street theme and do the old "record scratch" noise when she claims to be 26. However, the next footage of her in her "fashion show" outfit makes me think she is there for the attention so ... Anyway, she sings. Simon says she looks like "some nightmare Easter Bunny experiment" and that she isn't going to get through to the next round so she might as well own up. She claims 33, then finally 50.

Montage of good news. (For once.)

Jamie Lee Ward, who just turned 17, lives with her grandma and her dad, who is paralyzed because he shot himself. Wow. Yes, she has a Pickler vibe going on. She sings "Reflection." Paula says she has a nice voice when not "powering through it." Simon agrees, as does Randy. She makes it.

Chris Sligh says he most resembles Christina Aguilera. He's pretty funny. He says he is there because he wants to make David Hasselhoff cry, like he did on the finale last season. Ha! He sings "Kiss From a Rose on Grave." Paula is clearly enamored and gives him a standing O. Randy says he likes him, too. Simon says he is through. He says Paula crumbled in his chubby little hands.

Fifteen get through the first day.

Day two, there's no Paula to be seen.

Victoria Watson, whose hair is 6 feet long, as is her mother's, is probably not thrilled that she is being compared with Cousin It (even though it might be apt). She says she's often told she sounds like a Disney princess character. Ryan goes to interview her and says, "What brings you hair?" She totally doesn't notice and answers as if he'd said "here." She goes in, and they ask her why she is there. She says to uplift people when they would need it the most, and Simon marvels at the fact that she is "genuinely a nice person." Simon asks to meet her mother, so they bring her in. She sings Josh Groban's "Raise Me Up." Simon says it was a "daughter to mum audition, that only your mother would really like it a lot." But he really doesn't say it meanly. It's a no. She cries, her dad hugs her, and she whispers, "I know, I know, it's OK, it's not meant to be." Aww, she really is a genuinely nice person! Too bad about all the evil Addams Family music in her intro, PRODUCERS!

Lakia Hill claims to be the "total package," but it's a shriek-fest. She blames nerves. Simon says it was a complete and utter mess. He tells her it was not good, possibly the worst voice they've heard in Birmingham. She says, "Thank you," and leaves.

Which introduces a montage of the Southern decorum that led to so many contestants saying thanks after being told some horrible, horrible things.

Next is Team Nichole. She says she realized she could sing when she did a pageant with a talent component and her mother told her not to because she had "no talent." But then, it turned out she could sing. (Backstory: This was in preschool.) In the audition room, she takes on "Something to Talk About." Simon says she is old fashioned and sings through her nose and it's a shame. Randy says she isn't ready but she should come back. It's a no.

Brandy Patterson says she is the next American Idol because she has "an extraordinary voice." She says she is going to sing "Like a Virgin," complete with snapping and choreography and flat and sharp notes. Oh, also, she is totally saying, "Like a Version." Simon: "Thank you, Brandy, for an absolutely rotten audition." She says the problem might be the floor. She goes to the carpet and tries again. "It's a massive difference! How anyone has sung on that floor is beyond me!" Simon says. (He is kidding.) She says, "You don't know talent anyway" and keeps going on and on. She finally leaves, but she is still talking to Ryan when Randy and Simon leave the room for a break. (And in a little bit of karma from all the locked doors of earlier auditions this season, he tries to go back in a locked door while still mocking her.)

In the end, 20 folks make it through.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 9:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)
Categories: American Idol
        

The Apprentice starts with Trump calling and asking someone on Kinetic to go to Arrow. Amy, Surya and Marisa say they are winning, and Aaron chooses Surya. This interrupts Kinetic's staff meeting and Arrow's goofing off around the fire.

Surya immediately has to move outside. They picked out Surya because he seemed laid-back, something they had very little of on their team. He says the team needs some structure and discipline. He says he has some "rules" he had been thinking about because he had determined there was a 5 percent change he would be moving over to the other team earlier in the day -- reassurance and chain of command and more and more. His buzzed colleagues seem kind of flabbergasted.

Now it's time for the stupid "Get Rich With Trump" game, which names five people you can choose from who "deserve to be sent to Tent City." This is stupid for several reasons. First, no one gets "sent" to Tent City. It happens when the team loses. Also, it gives away who is going to have a negative experience in the episode. Grumble-worthy.

The next morning, Trump meets the teams at the Hollywood Overlook, and Sean, last season's winner, who I had completely blocked from my memory is with him. So are execs from El Pollo Loco, the president/CEO and the chief marketing officer. The task is to create, promote and sell a new version of their signature pollo bowl. Heidi and Aaron are the project managers.

Arrow develops the Chicken Tortilla Bowl, mainly having lots of chips for crunch as the difference.

Kinetic's Christine added mango and pineapple to the bowl, and the team loved it. They call it the Paradise Pollo Bowl. Marisa goes for Bravado Bowl. Heidi says, "I would definitely say no to that; executive decision." Marisa suggests people in a chicken costume in the intersection. Heidi says no. Then she calls again to come up with some more Bravado slogans. Derek says she is annoying the team. She calls again to say they need to call it Bravado.

Back at Arrow, it's time to sell. They're pretty psyched. They used balloons and "signage" and James to get people in. Frank and Tim go out to try for bulk sales.

At Kinetic, it seems pretty empty. Folks don't seem interested in the mango-pineapple idea. They're doing samples at the drive-through, which seems like a great idea, except that the traffic at the drive-through is minimal. Marisa is mad that they don't have chickens at the intersections like she suggested.

Arrow is overrun with customers, some of them angry, at least according to the horns that might be edited in. They're hoping for Frank and Tim to get back soon. They sell 22 for one bulk sale, and Aaron is psyched. Surya doesn't look that psyched.

Boardroom time. From the editing, I predict an Aaron win, Marisa piling on Heidi about marketing but ending up getting sent home. We shall see.

Sean said Kinetic had a limited marketing strategy, as opposed to Arrow, and Arrow definitely wins, which means they get to move into the mansion and out of Tent City. For the reward, they are going to Malibu to listen to Andrea Boccelli at a live, beachfront concert.

Arrow is ecstatic, to put it mildly, and ready to move into the mansion. Kinetic is not exactly excited to go camping in Tent City. The trading of places is a tad awkward. Arrow acts like the kids on The Real World, looking all over the house and screaming and jumping in the pool. Tent City, on the other hand, is totally nasty. Muna is way upset about the filth.

Aaron calls Andrea Boccelli possibly the, if not the, most famous musician in the world. The beachfront concert begins, and it's gorgeous. Frank says his family listens to Boccelli every week before the family dinner, and his mother is going to be so excited. The team then enjoys a fabulous dinner, intercut with footage of Kinetic having a nasty camp dinner. Back at Arrow, Tim plays the piano for his team, and Nicole is definitely impressed. Next, they get a fireworks show of huge proportions that makes me wish I was there with my camera and tripod.

Back at Kinetic, Heidi is already talking about who to bring to the boardroom. She is leaning on bringing in some marketing people. The team starts deciding to target Marisa, but of course, she is the only one who can claim to have thrown out some marketing ideas that got ignored, as annoyingly as she shared them.

Trump talks to the execs, and they target the marketing folks, which would be Marisa and Derek. In the boardroom, Aaron and Sean are Trump's help. Christina says she was responsible for the fruit and meat, which Trump says wouldn't appeal to him. Sean says Arrow sold the heck out of the bowl at the counter. Marisa brings up her chickens in the intersections idea, and Sean said the other team created a spectacle. She says, "Sean Sean Sean Sean Sean, I wanted to create that." Muna says Marisa is intelligent and sweet as pie, but she needs to learn to listen, that she has interrupted everyone. Trump finally tells her to shut up. Marisa says no one was listening to any of her ideas. Amy says Marisa is the weakest member of the team, that you have to tell her things over and over. She can't stop saying, "TWO CHICKENS! TWO CHICKENS WAS MY GREAT IDEA!" Marisa says Amy should be fired because she was the weakest link. Amy says Marisa is disruptive. Everyone says Marisa is the weakest, too. She accuses them of ambushing her, and Muna acts outraged at the idea, but they totally did talk about it ahead of time. We saw the footage!

Heidi chooses Amy and Marisa to come back to the boardroom.

Sean says he likes Marisa's spirit and passion, but it's hard. Aaron says it comes down to sales conversions, but they can't tell who was in charge of sales. Heidi says she brought Amy back because she was on the drive-through, but she says no one was in charge of sales. Marisa brings up the two chickens again, and says she shouldn't be there. But Trump disagrees because the whole team said she should. Trump says he cannot reconcile the fact that she was in charge of marketing, and that she came up with only one idea that she can't let go. Then he fires Marisa.

I think she had a good point, but her delivery of the point only proved the team's point, that she is disruptive and doesn't listen. Oh well, at least she doesn't have to live in Tent City!

In her exit interview, she says the team would have won if the team had listened to her. She only mentions the chickens one more time, thankfully.

In two weeks, the task appears to have something to do with bees.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 10:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Maryland reality contestants, The Apprentice
        

The live show starts with the finalists doing a choreographed version of the opening credits, with the Dannys and Sandys dueling. I have a sinking feeling I will be so tired of all this musical's songs by the time these two hours are over. But it's pretty cute.

Hosts Billy Bush and Denise Van Outen are out to introduce the panel, which tonight includes Olivia Newton John.

Finally, we are meeting our finalists, since they didn't get much, if any screen time during the first several weeks. Derek Keeling, 26, from Charleston, W.Va., is first. He calls himself a boy next door. He was a track star in high school, but got injured and turned to musical theater instead.

Austin Miller, the pro from Alvin, Texas, who always looks like he is wearing eyeliner. He wants this show, he says.

They have to sing -- Derek starts with "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." He does a good job, but nothing really remarkable. Austin follows with "Money, Money." He works his hips, his hair, his upper range, the stage and the audience. He might want have backed off the higher range, but it was easy to see he's experienced. Olivia says she is very impressed. Jim says he could see both of them as Danny. Kathleen says they delivered. David Ian (who I assumed was going to be the Simon Cowell) was over the top excited about both performances.

Allie Schultz is from Nashville and just out of high school. She says she's young, but she's ready. Kate Rockwell says she was pretty uncool in high school but has gotten over it and that she is competitive. Allie sings "I Love Rock N Roll." She is dressed very bizarrely, but she handles the song well. Also, I never would have guessed she was only 19. Kate sings "All By Myself." Her song features a glory note we haven't seen in the other three songs thus far, which she sells. Kathleen says she saw the sweet and sexy sides to both girls and (jinx) that she can't believe Allie is only 19. She also says Kate has one of if not the best voice there, but next week she would like to see her more loose and girly. Olivia loves Allie's confidence and boots and was impressed by Kate's voice. David says Allie showed she isn't just the baby of the competition and adds that Kate is the best singer. Jim says Allie seems exactly like Sandy as he first envisioned her, and Kate blew his socks off.

Throwing it to the commercial, Billy Bush says the final 12 are about to become the final 14. The silhouette looks like Matt the jock. Not sure about the girl.

Matt Nolan is the Danny and Ashley Anderson is the Sandy. So finally, we have people who actually got some screen time -- and will probably get votes no matter what as a result. Hopefully Matt's worked on his voice and Ashley on her nerves. They were both pretty likable otherwise.

Matt is from New York and is a jock but says nothing prepared him for Grease Academy and that he is glad to be back. Ashley says people can call her a crybaby, but she doesn't care, and she's glad for the chance to show she's a fighter. David Ian says they are back because they were great, but very green and deserved a second chance. Matt sings "Pretty Woman." He does seem more comfortable on stage, but he also seems unused to harmonizing -- sounds a little weird with background voices, and he biffed one note. Ashley sings "Still the One." She seems pretty nervous still -- and she's not exactly on key, but she ends strong. Kathleen says they both look great but that it was a little tentative from both and for next week to go for broke. David says he his the 50s is in Matt's DNA but he really needs to work on his vocals. He said Ashley looks like a dream but the vocals were a nightmare (ah, there's a Cowell-esque line), that her pitch was questionable and all over the place. Jim says they've clearly got nerves, but they were good. Olivia says their vocals will get better.

Jason Celaya is of the Mormon faith and says because of that, he has sung a lot since childhood. He was also in the production of Altar Boyz, which was in Baltimore a couple of months ago. I will have to see if he was part of the cast that was here. He says his dance ability is his strength. Max Crumm moved to L.A. to become a perform, but his main job is gym receptionist. He says he gets fired because he is a slacker. He says his personality separates him from the rest of the Dannys.

Jason will be singing "Faith." His moves work, though they are a little self-conscious at times. His voice? I think everyone is getting used to singing on live TV. Max will sing "Summer of 69." He seems totally comfortable on stage, and his voice is great, with or without the backup singers. Jim says he can Danny in both guys. Kathleen says Jason needs to tone down the contemporary vibe and think 1959 and tells Max he's one of the best actors there. David says there is an innate pop performer in Jason and that Max acts what he sees and he believes every word he says. Olivia says they are both great and that Max has a great personality.

Laura Osnes left the role of Sandy in Minnesota. She just got engaged and had to leave her fiance behind, too. Kathleen Monteleone is 23 and from Oregon but lives in NYC with her husband. She leads a worship band at a church in New York.

Laura sings "Why Do Fools Fall in Love." I don't get the shorts and half-boots thing, but it's not a fashion show. Her voice is spot-on. Kathleen sings "Suddenly I See," continuing KT Tunstall's reign as a go-to songwriter for reality TV singing competitions. She has a very sweet voice, that's the best way I can describe it. Olivia says Kathleen has great presence on stage and that she loved Laura's voice. David says Laura is sweet and nice and he's not sure that would cut it, that some of the people they've auditioned for the other parts this week would eat her for breakfast. Kathleen said it was a fantastic performance. Judge Kathleen tells Laura to turn up the dynamic energy and tells contestant Kathleen that she is so in the moment and connected to everything she says. Jim says they are both great.

Kevin Green is from Greece, New York. He hangs with his buds in the city and loves his grandpa. Chad Doreck is 27 and is from Long Beach, Calif. He's a soccer coach and is in a band when he isn't performing.

Kevin sings "Walking in Memphis." He works the camera and does a pretty decent job singing. Chad sings "Signed, Sealed, Delivered." He gives a nice performance, but it's definitely simple song in terms of the lyrics and range, but he gives it a lot of extra energy at the end. Jim says Kevin has been growing on him, still maybe a little tentative, and Chad was "top of the mountain." Olivia says both are charming and likable. David says Kevin is like a singing James Dean and that he needs to not let cool become low energy and that Chad is great and commercial and would sell lots of tickets, "I love you." Kathleen says Kevin should dial up the confidence and that Chad was energetic.

Juliana Hansen is 23 from L.A. and thinks she has a hidden rock n roll girl inside.  She says she and her mom shared an apartment with a lot of other people after her folks divorced and that remembering that experience fuels her ambition. Ashley Spencer is 21 and has been dancing since she was 7 and spent every last cent to get to L.A. for the auditions.

Juliana sings "The First Cut is the Deepest." For all the talk about her being the "rock chick," she seems very sweet and earnest in her performance. Ashley sings "It's in His Kiss." She also has a very sweet voice, maybe a tad weaker than Juliana's. But let's see what the judges say. Jim compares them to Betty and Veronica and says they would both be great. Kathleen says Juliana commands the stage but should have more fun next week and that Ashley is open on stage. David says Juliana didn't get the sexy, sultry side or her heart through the song, and that Ashley looks the part but needs to show more emotional range. Olivia loves them both, too.

Then there's one last performance from the final 14. They're singing "We'll always be together ..." (the chorus to "We Go Together") even though clearly, they won't, since two people are going home every week until the final two. The panel's favorite Danny and Sandy of the night are: David Ian says Derek and Ashley Spencer. Kathleen says Austin and Allie. Jim picks Chad and Kate. Olivia says she will leave it to America to decide because everyone is great. ("Great" has been a recurring theme all evening. Almost more than I said "sweet.")

In two weeks (gotta watch the Super Bowl, after all), Andrew Lloyd-Weber will be the guest judge and we will find out the first eliminations.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Grease: You're the one That I Want
        

The playoffs last weekend threw off my whole reality TV viewing schedule, but I should be caught up by the end of the evening. At least for now.

First up, last weekend's Apprentice (reairs on CNBC on Saturdays, by the way). Team Kinetic didn't have to participate in the task at all, thanks to their win the previous week. Arrow had to split into two teams and create a theme tour for Starline tours in Hollywood. Aaron (the Columbia, Md., contestant) stepped up to be one of the team leaders, and Michelle kind of got steamrolled into it. Here's how it went down.

On Aaron's team (which also includes hyper James and Melania lookalike Stefani), they decide to hire some Lakers Girls to jazz up the crowd and pick a theme of "Famous Places, Beautiful Faces," which focuses on famous movie locations. James takes ones of Starline's tours and decides what he does and doesn't like -- deciding that snacks are good and goofy jokes aren't. At the end of the first day, the team sets up a makeshift office outside, works hard and quiet for a few hours and heads to bed. During the task the next day, they have a huge, happy crowd, and they get going. James is on the mike, and his energy (and nonsensical statements) is off the charts. After a while, Stefani takes over and starts talking about the actual sites, saving the day.

On Michelle's team (which also includes Tim, Frank and Nicole), it seems like Michelle is petrified to make a decision because if they fail, she will be blamed. This totally backfires and she comes across as confused and spineless the whole time. The team picks the theme "A Day in the Life of the Rich and Famous." But as Michelle and Tim drive around Hollywood, they don't really see much that they like. So she decides Beverly Hills is a better option. But after driving around there, she thinks it's boring. She goes back and forth (several times) with Tim but finally decides Hollywood is the way to go. Frank and Nicole get annoyed and start taking care of things like tux rental and banners. Back at camp, the team starts working on a route and Michelle wants everyone to stay up all night. Nicole disagrees, but eventually relents. On event day, it's kind of a disaster. The mike fails right off the bat. Michelle talks to the crowd and literally makes no sense. Tim points out the hotel where John Belushi died of a heroin overdose and uses the term "speedball" (though in interviews after the fact, he realizes this was a bad, bad idea). He also starts talking about the stars on Hollywood Boulevard while he's still on Sunset.

In the boardroom, before they hear the results, Aaron and his team say they are confident. Michelle and her team acknowledge they had some logistical issues, and Nicole and Frank say she wasn't a great project manager. The results: 82 percent approval for Aaron's team, 58 percent for Michelle's.

Before they leave the boardroom, Michelle "resigns." We all know Trump hates quitting more than about anything, so there is the usual heckling and discussion about how she will regret it forever. She mostly seems to have issues with the living-outside part of the equation, but she doesn't relent, and she decides to leave.

So she leaves, and eventually the rest of the team learns no one else will be fired. So that's the end.

But let me leave you with some of the best quotes of the episode from Michelle:

• "I want to be operating in consensus."
• "Is that OK to be second guessing it?"
• "If you were me, which direction would you go in?"
• "Are you thinking too?"
• We will be telling you about "the elements of being in the caliber of the rich and famous."
• "There were people on the bus who certainly weren't angry."
• "The team absolutely stood up to the bat."
• "I would love the opportunity to work for your organization in the conventional way, but at this point I don't even want to come back to the boardroom: it's not worth it to me to go through this."

One last thing: It's vaguely hilarious that the other team constantly listens in on the losing team through the hedges.

=====

On Beauty and the Geek, it's getting a little out of control. The guys seem to be in it for the right reason, but the women? Well, it's looking cattier than the SPCA. Week before last it was the blondes vs. the brunettes, with Sharee and Andrea both sent to elimination. I liked Sharee, but she was out, leaving Angela, who is not nice to her partner, but finally started studying, in the game. She was not getting along with any of the rest of the girls. Which I could have understood, because she wasn't that nice, but the blondes really banded against her, which was rude.

In last week's episode, the guys finally got makeovers, though they had to pick out their outfits themselves based on information given to them by the girls. They all looked pretty great afterward. Poor Mario wasn't too happy because the store they were in didn't have that big of clothes, so he felt uncomfortable. He still looked good, though. Scooter looked so much better with his scraggly facial hair gone. Matt looked more grownup and happier. Drew looked much more confident and modern with his new look, and Niels was thrilled with the outfit he picked out. Nate, losing his giant beard and trucker hat, had the biggest transformation. He reminded me of Adam Levine, the lead singer of Maroon 5, after his makeover.

For the competition, the women had to try out their marketing skills, selling the boys in a charity auction. Niels ended up bringing in the most dough, and we followed all the guys on their dates -- on which they all managed some conversation.

Niels and Jennylee differed on who to send the elimination. They agreed to send Matt and Angela, but Niels wanted to send Nate and Cecilia and Jennylee didn't because of her flirtation with Nate. He overruled her, and it got kind of ugly. Jennylee said they had to send Andrea and Matt, and afterward Angela called her on that. They had this horrible interaction that ended with Jennylee saying, "I guess it's because I'm cooler than you." In case you were worried that this hadn't descended to seventh-grade depths.

One of the guys said last week that they are supposed to be learning about social interaction from the women, but that they sure seemed to have a lot of issues with one another compared with the no-drama friendships the guys have all developed with one another. Very good point.

Anyway, in the elimination room, Cecilia got both her questions right, leading her team to victory and sending Matt and Andrea home.

I like all the guys who are left, but I think Nadia might be the only woman who seems to be striving for any depth or to learn anything from the guys. We'll see what happens this evening.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 7:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Beauty and the Geek, Maryland reality contestants, The Apprentice
        

To add to this post from a few days ago, a friend of mine who works in the TV production in Los Angeles points out a couple of other things. She mentions that one of the major reasons that reality productions are so much cheaper than scripted ones is because the employees -- including the cast -- are paid markedly less. So it's not just that renting a "mansion" and footing a prize is cheaper.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 6:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

American Idol finalist Chris Daughtry (known currently for all intents and purposes just as "Daughtry") has the No. 1 album in the country this week, but only 134 copies more of his album sold than the Dreamgirls soundtrack (featuring Idol finalist and Academy Award nominee Jennifer Hudson), which came in at No. 2. According to Billboard (via the Los Angeles Times), this is the slimmest margin between first- and second-place albums ever.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 1:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: American Idol
        

The Los Angeles Times took a look at the the impact that reality TV productions are having on the local economy there. The results are mixed -- there's a boom in the number of series being produced locally, but each program brings in less money -- and offers fewer job opportunities, in most cases -- than a scripted show.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 4:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

On Sunday night's Grease: You're the One That I Want, we got to follow the finalists as they went through "Grease Academy" and were trimmed from 50 to 12. For several weeks, we'd gotten to know a number of the contestants, such as 17-year-old Kelli, 42-year-old Dominic, 21-year-old waitress Ashley Anderson, a jock named Matt. So how many of these are going to be performing in the live shows starting Sunday? Zero. Well, not exactly. There is Max Krumm, who got a lot of attention for being very talented but not exactly having the look. And Austin Miller, a professional who played Link in Hairspray. And a woman whose name escapes me who was really good friends with Kara, who we spent a lot of time with but who got cut. And one of three guys who got to be buddies but were otherwise interchangeable. Hardly anyone else has seen any actual screen-time.
If they were trying to make it an even playing field by not focusing on the finalists too much, that's one thing. But to have so few of the people viewers got (semi-)invested in make the cut was frustrating too.

Oh well.

The live performance and the public voting to cast Danny and Sandy starts Sunday. Good luck keeping track of everyone!

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Grease: You're the one That I Want
        

The auditions for American Idol continue, this time from New York.

"Legendary songwriter" Carol Bayer Sager is joining the judges.

Ian Benardo is up first and talks about how he was on So You Think You Can Dance, and now he is here. He claims he is already a superstar and he isn't going to stop until he is a household name. He starts "singing" "Gloria," but he is just talking. And all he wants is attention, so I'm done here.

Sarah Burgess from Ohio is 19 and lied to her parents about whether she would audition. She starts crying about her parents and her dad not being supportive. Thankfully, she is pretty good. Simon likes her even though she's "not the best singer we've heard, but you're a trier." Randy likes her voice and its tone. Carol agrees, as does Paula. So she gets through. "Be proud of yourself; that's the way to do it," says Randy. That's some good advice! Next up, she calls her dad. Who seems to think it's awesome. So, uh, OK.

Fania Tsakalakos, from Greece, is compared with Constantine Maroulis. She says she was backup dancer on a Greek version of AI. She sings "Africa" by Toto in a really over the top kind of way. They say no, and she leaves. Yep, no drama.

Ashanti Johnson, who has gone to Hollywood twice, is back. She sings "Lovin' You" in a really high register that I don't love, but let's go to the judges. Simon says it's more cabaret, boring. Randy says she just has an old-fashioned R&B voice. Carol tells her to think about auditioning for Broadway. She wants to know about her tone or intonation, etc. Ryan throws in a "soap opera" transition, and Ashanti launches into a monologue back in the audition room. It includes a part about how the only chance they haven't given her is for America to decide whether they love her and she knows they would. Simon: "Well, these three are Americans, and they don't." She starts singing again, and Simon says, "It's a no." She acts like it's a play and keeps pleading, and finally Simon tells her to leave and "get over it."

Best friends Amanda Coluccio and Antonella Barba are next. They seem very sure that they are the hottest thing in the universe. Amanda goes in first, but they tell her to bring in Antonella, too. Simon gets a dirty-old-man look on his face and mutters, "I bet you two are verrry popular. Lots of friends." They start out dueting, and it's a mess. Amanda starts solo with "Crazy." Randy says she was OK, Simon says she was generic. Paula likes her. Simon says he couldn't care one way or another, so he says yes. Carol says yes. Antonella sings after Amanda leaves, and Paula seems into it. Randy says Antonella was better, and Carol agrees. She gets an unqualified yes.

Clifton Biddle from New Castle, Del., says he's an average Joe. Then he does sound effects. Okie doke. In the audition room he says he's going to sing ZZ Top's "Tush." He stomps, claps and yells the song. He hauls out the harmonica, which seems like a bad move since Simon is not that pro-Taylor. And he doesn't sing! He gets four nos and heads up.

Montage of bad male auditions, including an astronaut and a green mohawk.

Kia Thornton sings "Ain't No Way" by Aretha Franklin, and she gets their attention. Simon says it was the best audition of the day. Carol tells her to avoid oversinging. Randy and Paula love her, too. She cries.

Day 2 continues ... without Simon.

Jenry Bejarano is up next. He's 16, but looks older, and reminiscent of Tyrese. He sings some Gerald Levert, with a few little tentative moments, but otherwise good. He gets a yes from each of the three judges.

Nakia Claiborne is very energetic and compares herself to Shirley Caesar. She sings "Dancin' in the Streets." Paula says she's infectious. They ask her to bring it down a little, so she sings a song with a little less volume, but it goes awry. Paula says she needs a lot of work, that she is all over the place. Carol says the first song was so much that they didn't care that there were flaws and that in the second song, it was obvious. They say no. On her way out, she asks what was wrong with her pitch. She cries.

Sarah Goldberg is up next, singing "Dreaming of You," which Nakia just butchered. Sadly, the slaughter continues. Carol says, "Do you, in your heart, really think you can sing?" She says no. Randy asks why she is there. She says, she is not a singer, but she loves to sing and her friends make fun of her all the time. She says she can be the next American Idol because she has never sung before, so they can teach her. WHAT? (Randy says, "Huh?" right when I type that.) Randy tells her it's a SINGING COMPETITION. She screams about being unique. It's a no. She cries. Then she rants.

Simon is back now.

Antonio Torres Jr., who is 47, sings "New York," and he doesn't even say "New York." He leaves off the K.

Jory Steinberg is next on the chopping block. She, thankfully, is wonderful. Or "terrific" as Simon says. Paula says she sounds like a "natural pro." She gets an across-the-board yes.

The next contestant, Porecelano Patino, says she has been preparing for this for a year over footage of a Rocky-like workout. She starts singing in a rocky kind of voice. Paula says she is pretty awesome. Carol says she is unique and says yes. Randy agrees, too, so she is through. She gets a group hug from the judges, minus Cowell.

Montage of the judges messing up people's names (some of it with guest judge Olivia Newton John there).

Next, Christopher Henry supposedly looks like Simon. He sings in a very high register. Simon says he should wear a dress and heels. Paula tells him he could build an act around his strengths, and she and Simon get into a row over it. It's a no.

Rachel Zevita, who is an opera student, is up next. She sings some Jeff Buckley, but they stop her. She does a couple of bars of "Get Here." Then they ask for some opera. Carol says yes, Randy says yes, Paula says yes, so does Simon. Simon: "You're all coming to Hollywood."

Montage of "All Night Long." My favorite part is the guy who sounds exactly like Kermit.

Christopher Richardson is up. He uses the word "interpetated," but that's OK. He sings "A Song For You." Carol says yes. Randy says yes, too. Same with Paula. Simon says he is someone who could surprise them in the next round.

Another montage of bad.

Nicholas Pedro, who quit during Hollywood week last year, is back to try to redeem himself. He sings "Fly Me to the Moon." He gets a bunch of yeses, even from Simon.

Last is Isadora Furman, a clairvoyant rocker chick. To make the obvious joke, she doesn't predict what happens when she auditions. She starts singing "Lady Marmalade," and it's scary, and includes a lot of tap dancing and moaning and tambourines. They all flee.

35 people made it to the Hollywood round. We saw, what, 10 of them?

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (1)
Categories: American Idol
        

Thanks to the State of the Union address, we only have one hour of American Idol auditions today. WAHOO!

This time, we're in Memphis.

Southern Arkansas University cheerleader Frank Byers Jr. brings the rest of the team and part of the marching band with him to his audition. He interprets "Heard It Through the Grapevine," with a little pitchiness and a little nervousness. Simon says it was corny, over the top and cabaret, so Frank launches into another tune. Even Paula says it's over the top. So they all say no. He gets a cheer and a band performance, and Simon gets all annoyed: "Not being rude, but can you shut up?"

Timika Sims seems nice, but really nervous and not very interesting. She sings Ashanti's "Rock With You." Simon, who already couldn't understand anything she was saying during their conversation, says he didn't understand her singing, either. She (like Frank) launches into "Secret Lovers," which is even worse. She gets a no, too.

Chris Rivera goes in with confidence and sings "Superstition" with a lot of ticks and scary jeans. He is also unintelligible.

Alexis Partee sings a little Teena Marie, but it sounds like she's singing falsetto. No.

Sundance Head, son of Roy Head, who had a No. 1 song called "Treat Her Right" in 1965, is up next. He says he'll blow them away, but with some self-awareness that he could get kicked out and have this footage shown to show "what a smartass he was." He sings "Stormy Monday" and Randy tries to be all nonchalant and take a drink of water in the middle of it, but he is GOOD. (Oh, and his caption says, "Jason 'Sundance' Head," so I don't know what all this Sundance business is about.) Simon says he's one of the best voices they've heard in the auditions all season so far. He gets a unanimous yes, and Simon adds, "I'm going to amazed if you don't make the finals." After Sundance leaves the room, Simon mutters to the other judges, "He just blew Taylor apart." Sorry, Soul Patrol-ians, but I'm going to have to agree.

Wandera Hitchye sings next. Simon says there are "so many singers like you trying to get deals right now. Paula says, "You're a good singer, but there's nothing that makes you ... " "There's nothing special," Randy fills in. She leaves, and she is MAD and pushes the camera out of her face. I get what they were saying, but after showing so many horrible singers, she seemed pretty great, so it makes them look kind of needlessly mean (again, some more.

The montage of "noooooo" that follows doesn't help.

Travis McKinney has a song for his girlfriend. You know it's either going to be awesome or petrifyingly bad. It starts with manic dancing, and it gets worse, with breathy talking. Randy gets it right: "That was crazy!"

Dani McCulloch busts out with Aretha Franklin. Randy says he wasn't blown out, Simon agrees, but says he likes the "blues part" of her voice. Paula says yes, and Simon agrees, so she is through. Randy says she should try to prove him wrong.

Next, we learn that the locals adore Paula.

Topher McCain, aka Paula's biggest fan, is up next. He has a sad story about his wife leaving him. He seems like a pretty good person, if a little deluded about his chances with Paula. He says he's going to sing "Footloose." He starts, and I begin to fear that he will soon dance. He sort of does. Simon: "I'm tempted to ask if you sang that the night before your wife left you." Of course, saying this is the equivalent of, "Not to be rude." In other words, too late. They tell him it's bad karaoke, and he's out but not too down. Except for the last jab at Paula.

The next contestant, Janita Burks, says that her style "works in with my confidentiality." She says the judges' first impression of her will be that she's innocent, conservative and very sexy. Um, yeah. I hate to think what a "liberal" outfit would look like. She sings "Disco Inferno." I hope she is one of the people who is trying to get on TV. She tries to sing another song, and it's NOT good.

Sean Michel, who has a huge, Castro-esque beard, is the next in the audition room. He sings "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Johnny Cash, and before he starts, let me just say, Cash is the only one who can pull that song off. He sings it a lot higher-pitched than I expected, and with a more soulful sound. Simon, Paula and Randy say yes.

Nerve hound Melinda Doolittle, who sings backup vocals in session work, is up. She sings "For Once in My Life," and she's great. Simon says she is a brilliant singer, but he's concerned about her lack of confidence, but that "you are in the top 2 percent of the singers this year." Randy says she's one of the best singers ever on the show.

Robert Lee Holmes claims to sound just like Elvis. He says he isn't going to dance, he's just "going to do a little movement." He sings "Burnin' Love." Well, sings might not be the right verb. Even Paula says, "It wasn't that good." He gets three nos. The look on his face afterward suggests that it was all a put on.

Phil Stacy missed the birth of his child to be at these auditions. Actually, he tells us this by saying he's feeling a little tired today because his wife woke him up at 4 a.m. to tell him she'd delivered their baby. HE is feeling tired? I bet she kicked him hard when she saw that little soundbite. He says he is going to sing "Let's Get It On," because, "to be honest, that's the last thing she wants to hear out of me today." OK, that was funny. But he changed it to "My Girl," and you are just hoping that he is going to rock it, but some of the notes were odd at the beginning. However, Randy liked it. Paula says it started weirdly. He sings something else. Simon says he can't start his songs well, and I have to agree. It was weird. But he's through anyway.

Twenty-two from Memphis made it through. And thankfully, we didn't have to see another hour of bad singers.

Tomorrow night, New York. And we get a preview that includes a glimpse of a guy who tried out for So You Think You Can Dance and was simply OUTRAGED that he didn't make it. I'll have to see if I can find his name in one of the old recaps. Scary, they keep coming back.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 9:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: American Idol
        

TMZ.com reports that it's obtained the cast list for the next Dancing With the Stars. It's not confirmed, but the stars reportedly include:

• Billy Ray Cyrus (think "Achy Breaky Heart" or dad from Hannah Montana)
• Ian Ziering (think Beverly Hills, 90210)
• Laila Ali (daughter of Muhammad Ali)
• Joey Fatone (think N'SYNC)

Here we go again!

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 3:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Dancing With the Stars
        

I'm a little behind on my reality viewing (blame the playoffs), but here are some headlines to hold you over for a while:

• The Special Olympics has no beef with American Idol for airing the audition of one of their athletes, Jonathan Jayne. Well, that's fine, but the judges were nice to him. To his friend and to a number of other contestants, not so much.
• In yesterday's Modern Life section, The Sun ran a Real Life column from Chris Yakaitis about his experiences as an American Idol auditioner. It's a blast. Check it out.
• Original Survivor winner Richard Hatch writes to the Boston Globe that no one has yet investigated the "abuses of power" and of the court system that he was subjected to. (He's currently in prison serving time for tax charges.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 2:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Last week, Michael got cut on Top Chef. The six had to split in two teams and open a restaurant. Their restaurants weren't thought to be that great, but finally it was clear that Michael was skating, and he had to "pack his knives and go."

Tonight's first challenge has the final five cooking with chocolate for guest judge Eric Ripert. Cliff calls him a demigod. They have 90 minutes to make a sweet or savory dish out of at least one of the kinds of chocolate before them.

Elia made poached chicken topped with a chili chocolate sauce and caramelized pecans. Ripert says the chocolate is not supposed to be overpowering in a mole sauce. She also made a creameaux mousse of ginger and chocolate with strawberry and mint crumble. They liked the second one.

Sam made shrimp and banana with chocolate chipotle, black bean and cilantro pesto sauces. Ripert finds the banana "surprising." (Sam pronounces chipotle wrong. Sigh.)

Cliff's dish is a braised chicken with piquillo pepper, rosemary and chocolate sauce with potatoes. Ripert says it's very balanced.

Ilan made a chicken liver chocolate ganache (yes, liver) with fried ginger and sherry sauce.

Marcel's dish is potato cannelloni filled with coffee whip (whip, not foam!) cream and chocolate mousse with vanilla powder. Ripert seemed to like it.

Sam, Marcel and Cliff got decent marks. Elia's dessert was the best, he said, but her chicken was off, so she didn't win. Ilan's liver with chocolate gets worst marks. Sam wins for his originality.

For the elimination challenge, they have to create a five-course romantic dinner, with wine pairings, for couples expecting a wonderful experience. Sam gets to choose his course, and the others have to figure out their own afterward. Sam picks first course, and no one can use whatever protein he uses. He picks lobster and scallops, which steps on Marcel's ideas. Elia takes on dessert, which no one wants. Ilan makes fideos with clams and saffron. Marcel is making salmon with beets, even though Sam is using beets for his dish, too. Cliff is making sirloin with lentil puree and plum jam. Elia makes a dessert similar to her successful one from the Quickfire Challenge.

The contestants head to Santa Barbara and pick their wines at a local wine cellar. They get to the restaurant to get everything done, and the kitchen looks like a disaster to me. It's definitely little, and they are getting in one another's way.

The judges like Sam's first course, and the wine.

Ilan's dish comes down to the wire, and he's using all the burners, which throws off Marcel. The judges like the texture and taste of this course, too.

No one helps Marcel plate because he didn't help them at first, but they eventually do, especially after some of the salmon hits the floor and can't be served. The guests notice that beets show up yet again. The judges say the fish is crying for some acid, but the wine works well with it.

Cliff's sirloin is next. Padma can't take the super-rare one, so she trades with Collichio. He is perplexed by the pureed lentils, which Gail couldn't even identify. He also thinks the greens are worthless, and Eric says it's like hotel food.

Elia says she is screwed because her chocolate hearts won't come out of the mold right. They break up the chocolate, and it seems OK, but she is very, very upset. But the judges notice there is no chocolate heart, even though the guests seem to love the taste.

The judges say this is the overall best meal they've made so far, but Collichio says, "I didn't get the romance." Ilan says he thought it was all good, but that might come down to whatever dish was found to be the least romantic.

The contestants get a little nuts that night, and Elia talks about how she always wanted to shave her head, so she and Ilan shave their heads. Then, fueled by alcohol, they think it would be a great idea to try to shave Marcel's head. Cliff holds him down, and Sam refuses to cut his hair, and Marcel is very uncomfortable.

Sam says it wasn't OK, Ilan says he was manhandled. Cliff says he regrets it. Tom Collicchio comes to talk to Cliff and that everyone else needs to leave. He says that he broke the rules, which clearly state that "if you touch another contestant in an aggressive manner," you are out. Cliff is full of regret and seems pretty clear on the fact that he crossed the line: "My actions toward Marcel were really stupid."

The other judges are shocked that Cliff went home in this way, but they also say he could likely have been sent home because they didn't love his dish. The remaining finalists get yelled at by all the judges for their juvenile behavior.

Ripert tells Marcel his dish lacked acidity. The judges say Elia's dessert was missing the heart, but that it was tasty and very light (in a good way). Ilan's dish is called "perfection" by Ripert. They also loved Sam's dish, though Ripert says he would have liked more lobster.

Now, at judges' table, they are starting to pick apart Marcel and Elia and talk about sending one or both of them home and not to the finale in Hawaii. Sam and Ilan are told off the bat that they are both going to the finale. Then Padma tells Elia and Marcel that they have to pack their knives ... and go to the finale. Whew.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 12:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Top Chef
        

And now, the second night of hellacious American Idol auditions continues, this time from Seattle. Hey, guess what? It rained there. (But seriously, it doesn't always. Just some extra knowledge from a Texan/Northwesterner.)

Brandon Groves came dressed as Uncle Sam (he tried out last season singing "I Shot the Sheriff" in his sheriff's uniform. He, most literally, sings "God Bless America." OK, he butchers it.

Jennifer Chapton, "also known as The Hotness." No comment. She starts with a wad of gum, not a good sign. She won't stop. And she talks back to Simon in the worst, most ridiculous way. Then she really won't stop singing. On her way out the door, she says, "He has no taste, he probably listens to that back-country Englishman sheep stuff." I have no idea.

Stay-at-home mom Amy Salgado has a sob story about her husband not supporting the idea of her trying out. She takes a stab at "Reflections" by Christina Aguilera, saying that she was bad because of her cold. Randy says she's tone deaf, and she wants to try again. She starts singing over Randy's "no" and Simon finally yells "NO" at her.

Montage of badness.

Darwin Reedy, aka Misha, from Houston, claims she has a sexy look. No comment again. She tells the judges she has written a novella about a singing competition. She says she's going to sing "Dontcha" by the Pussycat Dolls, but they have her bring in her mother, and it's just a nightmare of awkward. That's even before the singing starts, but when it does, it gets worse. WAY worse. When she gets to the chorus ("Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?") I have to pause because it's just horrifying. This girl clearly has no self-awareness of what is actually happening in this situation, and I can not take it. My husband breaks the silence by deadpanning the line in the most emotionless, tone-deaf way imaginable. OK, for that, this might be manageable. Simon says it's appalling. They say they understand, that she's nervous, and that they still love Idol.

Tears are compared to rain, as "Blame It on the Rain" plays. Scary.

Thomas Daniels, a gas attendant from Troutdale, Oregon, plans to make it to the top without working his way there. (He didn't use those words, but that's what he means.) He tells the judges it's his third audition and launches into Amos Lee's "Arms of a Woman." Paula loves it, and Randy and Simon agree, too. He is through! His family hands Ryan the tiny chihuahua so they can hug him.

Melissa Carleen Stavros of Snohomish, Wash., also has her dog with her. She sings Christina Aguilera's "I Turn to You" and is kind of all over the place. She says afterward that she got shaky and "sounded like a goat." That is about the best attitude and self-awareness we've seen so far this season.

Blake Lewis says he is the "champion here" of beatboxing, so Randy says he has to show it off. He does, and it isn't bad.  He sings "Crazy" by Seal, and it's OK. Simon says he's good, but maybe not as as good as he thinks it is. Paula loves him, Simon says she's easily pleased, but that he is good enough to go through to the next round. Randy agrees, and he's through. His dad cries for him.

And then it gets scary.

David Mills sings "Lean on Me" like someone has a gun to his head. "Oh, man, dude," Randy says.

Brother and sister Shyamali and Sanjaya Malakar are up next. Shyamali sings "Summertime," and it's lovely even though she is nervous. Simon doesn't think her voice is unusual at all. Randy and Paula say yes, so she is through. Sanjaya goes in, and Paula asks him to sing some Stevie Wonder since his application says he is a fan. "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" means he's through, too. Simon says she has the stage presence, and he has the voice. So, sibling rivalry, here we come. They're both through.

Nick Zitzmann, a software engineer, is an uber-geek and wants to sing "Unchained Melody." He says his coworkers encouraged him to come to the audition because of some instrumental demos of his that they'd heard. He has a scary, thousand-yard stare. And a scarier voice. And they let him sing and sing and sing and sing. "Was that not good enough?" Nick asks. "It was almost non-human," Simon says. "Out of tune, bad tone, unpleasant, none of the things you want singing to be," Randy says.

The last contestant of the day (and supposedly the day that Simon called the worst day of auditions ever) Rudy Cardenas says he is going to get a golden ticket. He sings "Open Arms," and hey, turns out he can sing. Miracle. Simon interrupts him and says it's a no. Paula says it's a yes. Randy says yes, too, so he is through. "It was tough, though," he says, "Simon's over it; he's had a bad day." Hah!

Seven got through on day one.

Day two, there are two guys who made friends in line. Kenneth Briggs says he dances and sings and has been compared to Justin Timberlake. He sings "Tearin' Up My Heart," complete with all the Backstreet Boys' moves. I think it's cruel that they let him get this far. Simon says he looks like "one of those creatures that lives in the jungles with the giant eyes." Paula and Randy say he's an awesome person, but not getting through. Jonathan Jayne is up next, and Kenneth tells him to try his hardest. He sings "God Bless America" with enough vibrato for about seven other people. Paula says his spirit and his personality were great, but he isn't right for the competition. Simon says he's a great person, but that this is not his career path. 

Montage of badness.

Eric Chapman, a Taylor Hicks wannabe, is a hairstylist who says he gets into a trance when he cuts hair. His bio caption says "Age: 28???" Simon asks Eric if he is drunk. He gets a no, and he was going to try to fix Simon's hair (because of course, he's carrying around pomade), and the bodyguards swarm.

Anna Kearns, a 6-foot-4 waitress from Texas, makes Ryan look positively Lilliputian. She sings "Respect." Simon doesn't look too impressed and says, "That was loud." He says she was interesting, very cabaret, over the top ... Paula and Randy start growling at him ... he refuses to talk after being interrupted, but she gets two yeses.

Jordan Sparks, who is 16 but doesn't look it, sings "Because You Love Me" by Celine Dion and burns it down. (That's a good thing.) Paula loves her, Randy's blown away. Out of nowhere, Paula asks who her dad is. He's Phillippi Sparks, a corner for the Giants. Simon says it was too cutesy and over the top and sugary, but that he liked it but wanted to give some constructive criticism. Randy says she's a natural and great.

Only seven more got through.

Next is a montage of bad auditioners singing "Dontcha." Was this a requirement? Oy.

Steven Thoen of Superior, Wisconsin, is next. He says people just call him "Red." For the hair. He says he does a little "care-oki" now and then. He also says he will make it because he can hit the high notes. This is not typically a good sign. He says he is as good as Freddie Mercury and launches into "Bohemian Rhapsody" in a high pitch and hitting literally zero notes.  The judges are literally laughing uncontrollably. Paula even snorts. He says he can even do country. This doesn't help. Simon says it was "like a 1-year-old" and Steven says, "That was harsh!" No, he hasn't seen the show much before. It's a no.

Next week, it's Memphis.  And four more hours of this mess.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: American Idol
        

CBS has announced the cast of The Amazing Race: All-Stars, which starts Feb. 18.

• Kevin and Drew, Season 1, fourth place
• Oswald and Danny, Season 2, fourth place
• John and Jill, Season 3, fifth place
• Uchenna and Joyce, Season 7, winners
• David and Mary, Season 10, sixth place
• Towson's own Charla and Mirna, Season 5, sixth place
• Rob and Amber (of Survivor and Survivor: All Stars), Season 7, second place
• Teri and Ian, Season 3, second place
• Eric and Danielle, Season 9, second place (him) and seventh place (her); now they're dating
• Joe and Bill, Season 1, third place
• Dustin and Kandice, Season 10, fourth place

Interesting mix. I didn't start watching the show until Season 4, so there are a whole lot of people I'm not familiar with here. I'm tired of Rob and Amber, but it was almost a given that they'd be back. What do you think of the casting decisions?

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Categories: The Amazing Race
        

If it's time for another season of American Idol, it must be about a year since I started this blog. And how about that? Last week (Jan. 9 to be specific) was the one-year birthday of Reality Check.

But that's not why we're here today. It's the premiere of the sixth season of American Idol, now with even more footage of bad auditions. I actually hate this part of the season, but I miss all the backstory otherwise, so here we go ...

For now, I will just listen to the Who song they've set the intro to and ignore Ryan Seacrest's hyperbole. Is that wrong?

They're starting in Minneapolis, ostensibly because Prince performed at the finale last year. Jewel is going to be part of the judging panel -- are they going to mention that she's also part of Nashville Star? Looks like no.

We're starting with Jessica, a girl with a stereotypical Minnesota accent who actually works at the Mall of America. And she's Jewel's biggest fan! Could they have set it up better? (OK, they probably did set it up.) Well, maybe if she were singing a Jewel song in an intelligible manner it would be better. They all pass, and she starts bawling. This isn't entertainment; this is just painful. (Insult to injury: She tries to go out the door that won't open. I honestly don't know if I can take this, and it's just the first audition.) Is this segment ever going to end? OK, yes, finally.

Troy Benham -- who is all about being "urban Amish" and hasn't ever seen the show and doesn't know the judges -- is up next. He also appears to be making up his song as he goes along. When he gets to "this catalog I found sells roaches by the pound," the judges stop him.

Now a montage of broken dreams.

Jesse Holloway claims to have a range that includes some Mariah Carey notes. I think to count as having hit the notes, there needs to be some volume. And not leaving for water in the middle of the audition. But why are they not stopping him? It's a no. Followed by a rant.

Charles Moody from New York is dressed like Apollo Creed (Stars and Stripes and boxing gloves) and singing in Italian. His voice isn't bad, but he's confusing everyone.

Denise Jackson, a 16 year old from Wisconsin, has a sad tale of being born to a drug-addicted mother and saved by her grandmother. Can her voice back up the story? So far, yes. Speaking of yes, she's a unanimous yes from all four judges.

Now a montage of forgotten lyrics (to a silly public service announcement). Tashawn Moore is the poster child, singing "Kiss" by Prince. Well, that's the plan, but she can't even remember the first line. JUST SKIP TO THE BRIDGE! OK, she does, but it doesn't help. MAKE IT STOP.

Perla Meneses tells her "survival story" of coming to the U.S. at age 15 from Colombia, flirts with Ryan (but also insults him and calls him short), says she knows Simon is going to love her, comes in the room, starts singing Blondie like it's karaoke night. But as she warms up, it gets a little bit better. Simon says Blondie was weird because she sang it "heavily accented," but the problem was she was trying to sing like Blondie. Anyway, they let her through. My husband says, "If she was totally ugly with the same voice, there's NO WAY she would have made it." I concur.

Matt Volna, who likens himself to Johnny Cash and claims to have pizzaz, isn't going to end the trend of males not making the cut in Minneapolis. Simon says it's pointless, Randy says it's awful. At least he went out the correct door.

Navy intelligence specialist Jarrod Fowler won "Reagan Idol" on his aircraft carrier. Simon says he gets a yes because he thinks people will like him. Jewel says yes, but to watch his pitchiness and try a different song to show some range next time. But he is through to Hollywood.

The next girl sings the Lion's song from The Wizard of Oz and sounds like a wookiee. She calls herself "unique," which is never a good sign.

Vocal teacher (also usually not a good sign) Stephen is up next with Aerosmith's "I Don't Want Miss a Thing." And it starts out not that painful and then it goes up to a horrible high range that is scary. He gets harsh words from Randy, who says he shouldn't even be a vocal teacher. Simon eggs him on, trying to get him to yell at Randy, but Stephen tries to get Randy to tell him what he did that was wrong. Simon finally says no, too.

You know it's getting bad when I just hope hope hope that the people go out the right door on their way out.

Michelle Steingas comes in, is shocked to see Jewel, and then busts out a pretty good version of some song I've never heard. The judges seem to like her, and Simon says the voting public will like her because she's "confident without being irritatingly precocious." She is through.

Next is a montage of people who got fired for going to Idol auditions.

Then there's Dayna Dooley, whose boss actually flew her out to Minneapolis for the audition. Jewel says, "I was pulling for you; I wanted it to be good." But Randy et al tell her she was out of tune the entire song. They bring in the boss to tell him she can't sing. Randy says she's tone deaf. They ask what she sings in the office that is so good that he felt compelled to fly her out. So now she's singing "Fever" to the boss and I just want to crawl under a rug and hide from the universe that has created this moment. But the judges thought she was better singing to him.

Matt Sato sings "California Dreamin'" after explaining that his parents aren't there because of the money they've spent on him being in show choir. Simon says he's "got something." The judges really liked him, and he makes it through!

Rachel Jenkins, who works at her parents' body shop and appears to be a specialist in the Army Reserves, and whose husband is in Baghdad, sings "His Eye Is on the Sparrow." The judges like the tone of her voice and send her through.

Sarah Krueger sings "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" (sounds like the arrangement Katherine McPhee sang last season) and it's got to be a relief to the judges to hear someone who can sing and has control over her voice. It's a unanimous yes.

Inquiring minds want to know: Can it really still be the season premiere when the second episode airs tomorrow? I say: No.

Jason Anderson sings while juggling sticks, but he ought to have focused on one or the other. Randy says he should have been on America's Got Talent for the juggling. Then he shows of his dancing. Then he cries in the hallway and says, "I could tell they hate me!" Well, just the singing. And the dancing. But they liked the juggling! "They said Minneapolis had no talent because of me."

Then Brenna Kyner (the biggest fan of the show ever) is up. She reveals that her favorite contestant is Ace Young and that she has a tattoo of a heart that he drew on her. And she's going to sing "Under Pressure," and I am scared that she is going to start out beatboxing the intro like when Vanilla Ice tried to claim that the beat used on "Ice Ice Baby" was totally different. (Hopefully you saw that Behind the Music.) Actually, that would have been better than the shrieky, repeated "whyyyyyyyyy" that served as her introduction. Simon tells her it's about as bad as it gets, and like so many clueless contestants before her, she is incredulous.

And now, a "Kiss" montage. Ow.

Next up is rocker Josh. He sings a gravelly version of Fuel's "Bad Day." Randy says it doesn't feel like it was him. Simon asks him what he would do if it was Abba week. He tells him he will come back in 15 minutes and sing an Abba song. He doesn't know Abba, but runs out to get a song, learn it and singing. They want him to stop singing the "gravelly" -- Jewel says she's worried he will hurt himself singing like that all the time. The judges tell him to stick with the band.

Out of 10,000, only 17 in Minneapolis made it through. Wow. Painful. And supposedly Seattle (two hours tomorrow night) is worse.

OK, y'all, if we can make it through the auditions, maybe the live show portion will be worth it.

A girl can dream, right?

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: American Idol
        

Now we know the team's names. Heidi's is Kinetic, Frank's is Arrow. That's thrown in during the intro to this, the second episode of The Apprentice.

The teams meet Trump at Pacific Palisades Park at Santa Monica Beach, where they learn that they will be designing swimwear of Trina Turk and putting on a show on the beach for buyers. (OK, Project Runway!) The teams learn that the winning team won't have to participate in the next task at all.

Nicole took on the project manager role of Arrow. Carey was really excited for a design challenge, and drew out some ideas. Aaron (our Columbia-ite) suggests that not all the men's suits be quite so snug and revealing.

Over at Kinetic, they made a suit, and Marisa and Heidi clashed over it -- Heidi thinking it was too basic, Marisa loving it.

At Arrow, the guys were not sure about Carey's male suit. Michelle spoke up, and everyone seemed to turn on her (even though Tim and Aaron had issues with the cut, too). But then she tried to not give her opinion on the pricing and people seemed to think she was avoiding having made any decisions about the task so that if they lost, she wouldn't be held responsible. (However, turning the whole team against you? Not a good plan either.)

Kinetic was up first with three board shorts, two bikinis and a one piece. Arrow's had board shorts, a two-piece, a short shorts, Carey's James Bond shorts, and two more bikinis. No one seemed too excited about Carey's shorts. Arrow sold $19,616 worth of suits, and Kinetic sold $20,511 worth of suits. So Arrow is still stuck outside. Kinetic is exempt from the next task, stay in the mansion, and they're heading to the Playboy mansion for their reward.

I assume Arrow is going to target Michelle for being contrary (even though she was right) and Carey for insisting on the crazy men's suits. We shall see.

First, Kinetic goes to the mansion and meets Hef, where they talk the business of Playboy, of course, and a huge party with Bunnies is next, of course. And, of course, there is the beginnings of anger/jealousy toward Heidi for continuing to be the project manager. (Thanks, Marissa.)

In Tent City, Michelle talks to Tim and Nicole about not wanting to get fired (and ever-classily, the Kinetic folks listen in from the pool area, or at least it appears so).

In the boardroom, Trump dives right in to the idea that the men's bathing suits were a disaster. Carey says they tried to cater to everyone with three different cuts of men's suits. He classifies them as "a gay suit, a more metrosexual suit," and a typical suit. Trump's kind of shocked by this distinction, and Ivanka jumps in to say that the floral brief was "reflective of only your taste." (I would like to point out that if this task had taken place after the Bond movie came out, I bet the buyers would have been more interested in the two "riskier" cuts, thanks to all the promos of Daniel Craig in unforgiving trunks. I don't know for sure that it didn't, but that's my hunch.)

Carey blames Michelle for the loss, saying that her attitude caused the team to not work as well together. Trump asks Heidi for her opinion, but first throws out how she is living large in the mansion. Frank interrupts to say he's claustrophobic, so he's sleeping outside, not even in the tents, and Trump tells him, "Don't worry, you'll be back in the Bronx soon enough." And that, my friends, is why you don't interrupt Trump. Going down the line, it's evenly split between Michelle and Carey, except for James, who pinpoints Nicole. She brings Carey and Michelle into the boardroom, and everyone else heads back to camp. (Sounds like Survivor there for a minute.)

I don't think Carey has much of a chance here since he was wholly responsible for the designs that led to the loss. I hope that Michelle points out that she questioned the designs, and that it was these questions that led the team to get annoyed with her attitude. She was RIGHT. She better start defending herself soon.

Carey opens by saying he took a risk by his team and smartly points out that the team approved them. Michelle says she objected to several of the ideas, especially the pink. Carey says Michelle refused to take part with the price point conversation. Trump holds the pink suit up with a pen because he doesn't want to touch it. Nice. Trump et al says they were targeting a tiny part of the population. Carey says if the team didn't like he would have started over. Michelle says he ramrodding the idea of the suit down the team's throats. It's too late: "Carey, you're fired." I still wish Michelle would have defended herself more, but hey, we'll see what happens next week.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 10:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: The Apprentice
        

In the second episode of Grease: You're the One That I Want, the judges are in New York City looking for some talent for the lead roles of the forthcoming Broadway musical.

Some nos: A woman from Hungary who had some pronunciation (and singing) issues, a guy who sang "We Are the Champions" by Queen and biffed it hugely because he can't sing, and a bunch of bad singers we didn't learn anything about.

Some yeses: A girl who started too high and had her voice break two times but got an extra chance (thanks to her Olivia Newton-Johnish looks), and seven other excellent singers who we got zero information about.

Real-life couple Matt and Sarah got a long storyline. They both auditioned, and though Matt had a rough vocal, he made it through to the dancing round. Sarah got bad marks from David but got through anyway (and she was way better than Matt).

42-year-old Joanne Rizzo auditioned as Sandy and sang well but didn't make it through because of her age (despite the fact that they let through a 42-year-old man last week).

One jock guy named Matt came in, who was raised by parents obsessed with the 1950s, sure he was the next Danny. He had some bad vocal moments, but the judges think he deserves a chance in the dance round because of his look and guts.

Austin, who is in a touring production of Hairspray, got through immediately, as did a number of other Danny options.

A high-schooler named Megan, on the other hand, had her nerves betray her, and the judges told her she should try again when she's older.

Then it was time for the dance round. They have an hour to learn a routine before they have to perform in groups in front of the judges.

Jock Matt, the Olivia lookalike, pro Austin and Matt of Matt and Sarah made it through. (Sarah, on the other hand, not so much. And she storms off without him. Nice! Oh, and then she dumped him. Nicer!)

Next week, they'll be at Grease Academy, where the Top 50 will be trimmed down to 12 for the live shows, which start in two weeks.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 9:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Grease: You're the one That I Want
        

I missed the premiere of MTV's I'm From Rolling Stone, which follows six of the magazine's interns. This story, written by a former intern of the magazine, says things have changed since his time there, probably to make it interesting enough to film. Check it out, if you're interested.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 2:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

I didn't love the new reality series Grease: You're the One That I Want, but it's renewed some interest in the classic story, for sure. Amazon.com reports that two versions of the DVD of the film skyrocketed in sales after Sunday's broadcast on NBC. Now, the Associated Press reports that the Broadway-bound production (for which the reality show is casting leads Danny and Sandy) sold $1.3 million in tickets the first two days they were on sale.

On Monday, the "Rockin' Rydell Edition" of the DVD went from No. 931 to No. 240 on Amazon's "Top Sellers of the Past 24 Hours" list, and the widescreen edition went from No. 601 to No. 167, according to a press release.

I guess we're all pretty suggestible. I know I am -- I've had songs from Grease stuck in my head for three whole days now.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 1:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Grease: You're the one That I Want
        

Yes, I am on a Beauty and the Geek kick, but the whole time during the premiere I was thinking that Megan looked like Joy from So You Think You Can Dance. Here, you decide:

Joy from So You Think You Can Dance 2.
Megan from Beauty and the Geek 3.

At first I thought possibly it was the same person, but with a seven-year age difference between the two and with them growing up in different parts of the country, I think not. The resemblance is startling, though.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 6:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

I wasn't sure what to expect with Grease: You're the One That I Want, the new reality show that will cast Sandy and Danny for the new Broadway production of the classic movie/musical. But after watching the first episode Sunday, the whole thing feels like a rehash. The first round of singing auditions is more than reminiscent of American Idol, and the tiny bit that we saw of the dancing auditions felt straight out of So You Think You Can Dance. It will probably start to feel more unique when the acting and the viewer voting get added in, but so far, I'm yawning.

On the other hand, I caught up with the third season premiere of Beauty and the Geek, and I continue to adore the show against all odds. I thought it sounded horrible and mean, but it's much sweeter than I expected, most of the time anyway. In the premiere, the beauties and the geeks met and chose partners. In their first challenge, the women had to find three books based on the Dewey Decimal System, and the guys had to accomplish three tasks -- find a stranger to rub sunscreen on their back, to give them their phone number and to let them borrow a cell phone to make a quick call. In the next challenge, the guys had to do a standup comedy routine at a club, and the girls had been given some study materials on current events. When they got to the venue for the challenge, they were told that they'd be reading the TelePrompTer and interviewing the author of Freakonomics, which was part of the study materials they'd been given. That challenge was a disaster on almost all fronts. The comedy club bits were almost impossible to watch, but Nate and Mario both pulled through, especially Nate. And Sheree seemed almost professional in her interview and really impressed the judges, with Nadia doing reasonably well (though by the time she went, the judges were happy that someone could pronounce "enigmatic").

Tori wasn't happy with Sanjay for not praising her (disastrous) performance in the interview, and she didn't seem willing to take his apology. Eventually, they got sent home, but I'm getting ahead of things. Meanwhile, Andrea seemed to relish yelling at her partner, Matt. She talked a big game about wanting to do anything to win, but she sure didn't seem to study -- she was totally unprepared for her interview. You'd think a self-proclaimed beauty queen would know how to prepare for an interview and would know something about current events. But not this one. She flat-out angers me.  But everyone else seems great. Frankly, I'm not convinced that Nate is really that much of a geek -- I mean, sure, he's in a Star Wars tribute band, but being capable of performing on stage takes guts and writing songs takes creativity, so he doesn't necessarily fit the "incapable of relating to people" model they seem to be looking for in their geeks on this show. (And, yes, it's possible that as someone with at Yoda figurine given to me by my dad sitting on my desk, that I don't really consider Star Wars-related things as a good barometer of geekiness.)

Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to the next episode tomorrow night. If you like shows that have some personal growth to reveal, check this one out. It's on the CW.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 6:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

As if you could have missed the news amid all the reports of his stupid feud with Rosie O'Donnell, Trump is back as of last night, with season six of The Apprentice. They've mixed things up a few different ways this time around:

• They're in Los Angeles instead of NYC for the first time.
• The winning team gets to live in a nice mansion, and the losing team has to live in "tent city" in the back yard. Even their shower, sink and toilet are outside.
• Two project managers were chosen for the first task, and the winning project manager will remain the project manager until the team loses a task.
• Ivanka, daughter o' Trump, replaces Carolyn in the boardroom, and the winning team's PM will also appear in the boardroom, asking questions and supposedly helping to make the final decision.

So, things are a little different this time around. And, before we really delve into the recap, it's worth noting that we have a local candidate: Aaron is from Columbia, Md.

First up, the candidates were sent to the back yard to put up a tent (not realizing it would be where the losing team would be living). It was pure pandemonium for a while, but Heidi got vocal and explained some of the fundamentals of putting up a tent. Then, though, Frank, a home contractor of some sort, got bossy and loud and talked over Heidi and ordered everyone around until they were complete. He did not help ease the pandemonium, but oh well, they finished.

The group then went to the boardroom, and Trump asked them who had stood out as leaders. Most everyone pointed to Heidi and Frank, so they were chosen as the first PMs and went about choosing their teams, schoolyard style. Martin was picked last, and he was flabbergasted, despite having been standing on a rock watching (I mean, "supervising") during much of the tent task.

The teams then launched right in to their first real challenge: Each group was to run a car wash for several hours, and whoever brought in the most money would win. They seemed to have a staff of car washers/detailers who would help, but the show didn't really go into that at all. At Frank's team, it was once again total chaos, and he ended up leaving to make up fliers at the copy shop without helping the team determine its price points for the basic wash, deluxe wash and full detailing. So they just figured it out without him and moved on. The team started trying to get customers, but without signs, it wasn't going that well. Over on Heidi's team, things seemed much more functional. They immediately found some cardboard and made some readable signs, hired two cute guys to direct people in and offered free lunch. They went for pure volume, and seemed to achieve it, almost to a fault -- at one point, they had so many people there that the washers were way behind.

Back on Frank's team, he finally returned with fliers, but they were not visible at all from the road, so Carey ran and got some cardboard. This team aimed for upselling every customer, selling them on the deluxe wash or detail package once they got them in the place. It didn't seem to be going that well. When Ivanka came to visit, a couple of things happened: First, the two random guys they'd hired to hold the signs asked her if she wanted to also take off her shirt and try to get customers in. (She declined.) Later, Martin told her he was tired. She said it was way too early to be tired, but he walked around sighing nonetheless.

In the end, Heidi's team won, but only by $60, not the landslide I expected based on the number of cars they seemed to have. And at this point, the game turns into the "haves" vs. the "have-nots." The tent people were just starting to get settled in, but they could hear the winning team exclaiming about having champagne. Later, Frank and Tim got into a screaming match about who was at fault (but it was hard to tell since Frank always screams), and the other team was out at their pool and could hear almost all of it. The editors then had a field day intercutting footage of the reward dinner at Spago with the camp-stove dinner in Tent City in the dark. At the reward dinner, Trump was talking with the candidates when he suddenly asked them, "Who did the worst job?" and the boardroom music swelled. The teammates looked panicked, but then Trump backed off. Back at Tent City, Martin, in a pure preservation move, tried to make the team get angry at Frank instead of him. But, besides being totally transparent, it was a silly maneuver since it only got Frank madder at Martin, and Frank chooses who goes to the boardroom with him.

In the boardroom, it was the usual menagerie of screaming, defensiveness, cliches, venom and posturing. Martin and Frank both blamed each other for the failure, with a little tossed at Tim, who was supposedly in charge of sales, as well. Finally, Frank chose Martin and Tim to come with him to the boardroom. On his way out the door, Frank tried to give a big speech about how Trump-worthy he is, and Trump told him repeatedly to save it (literally, for later in the boardroom), but Frank just kept jabbering. When the three returned to the boardroom, Trump quickly dismissed Tim. He seemed to be leaning toward Martin (which, though I'm no Frank fan, seemed like a good plan to me -- the slow-talking and the standing around and sighing didn't bode well), until Frank said he thought Martin was brilliant. This stopped Trump in his tracks. He couldn't believe that Frank would say something complimentary to his adversary at this key point. Frank backtracked as fast as he can, saying Martin is book smart, not business smart, but for a while, it looked like Trump was going to do his trademarked move of seizing on some goofy thing someone said and ignoring actual performance in the task. But he backed off that (with some pushing from Ivanka -- THANK YOU, Ivanka) and fired Martin.

I don't think Frank will last long in this game, but I couldn't handle seeing Martin saved because of one boneheaded comment by Frank.

Next week, it appears the teams will be designing swimwear. That could be interesting.

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 4:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: The Apprentice
        

Howdy, all ... I've just watched The Apprentice and Grease: You're the One That I Want, with Beauty and the Geek 3 to follow shortly, and I'll be posting about them as soon as I can manage. In the meantime, check out Sun TV critic David Zurawik's Critical Eye piece today that explains why there's such a sudden onslaught of reality shows. Enjoy!

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
        

Most of reality TV took a break for the holidays (cable marathons notwithstanding), and I did, too. But starting tonight, the season is gearing up once again, and I am, too. Let's start with a full-on episode recap, shall we?

Top Chef is back on Bravo after a several-week pause. It had been so long, I'd nearly forgotten that Mia had quit to keep them from kicking out Elia (even though I'm pretty sure Michael was toast, but she seemed happy to be the martyr, so we'll let it go).

Marcel and Ilan start out sparring -- Marcel interviews about everyone being on edge because they're competing and living together, but I think one of the major issues is that he annoys people, and they're getting sick of it, so they aren't being that nice to him, like ever.

Michael is hardly my favorite person left on the show -- his class-clown attitude annoys me a lot of the time -- but it would not be fun to get dental work in the middle of this competition, and after getting a tooth pulled, he looks ROUGH saying he's hoping for a 15-minute quickfire challenge so he doesn't have to run away to spit up blood. Now that's appetizing.

Ted Allen of Queer Eye fame is the guest judge. Huzzah! He's hilarious. The contestants learn that immunity is off the table. The quickfire is to create a plate around a color. Cliff is concerned because he draws purple, but due to his color blindness, he couldn't tell what color he'd drawn. No one seems too excited about their draws, particularly Elia (white) and Marcel (brown).

Cliff deals with his problem by matching everything to an eggplant. Marcel's French press exploded at the end, with only 40 seconds to spare, which caused some problems. But Ilan was up first, with his red. Then Betty with green. Marcel's coffee explosion ended up only affecting the dressing of the dish, not his food at all. The other contestants start snarking about how he has "foam" of something in all of his dishes, which I would have giggled with them about, had I been there. Elia did fish with a poached egg, looked tasty even though everything was white. Cliff's dish looked lovely -- AND purple. Sam had yellow, and Ted seemed to love it. He also liked Michael's carrot chips and the rest of it. Ted didn't like Betty's greens, saying, "It looked like something you raked up, not to be unkind"  -- "Well, you are," she interjects, which drives me insane because, HELLO, it's a competition, and he's a judge. It's his job to be harsh. She's one of the oldest competitors left, if not the oldest, and she routinely acts the most immature. Not all of us blondes are like that, thankyouverymuch. Anyway, Ted also didn't love Marcel's coffee moat and though Ilan hewed (hued? sorry) too much to the theme and didn't offer anything to contrast with his steak tartar. Ted's favorites were Sam's, Cliff's and Michael's. The winner is Michael, but he doesn't get the immunity he was hoping for so he could have a day to recuperate from his dental stuff.

The main challenge is about inspiration. They offer the inspiration of the seven deadly sins, each doing a course of a seven-course meal. The meal will be served to Debi Mazar and her friends. Mike gets the chance to trade knives and steals Envy from Marcel (ditching Lust, which seems dumb to me). Marcel brings a stop to the process of the team deciding who is going to do which course, which angers everyone. Even Sam starts getting annoyed, and he's been the calmest person this whole season.

Elia has Pride, and she's doing a big "proud" chicken entree.

Ilan has Gluttony and aims to make the diners "fatter."

Michael has Envy, so his plan is to do an imitation crab dish but with real crab because the fake crab wants to be real crab? I don't know. Let's just assume he's still heavily medicated. But they're out of crab. So he decides if he was a trout, he'd envy a salmon, so he buys salmon. Oy, so literal. Good thing he traded Lust away.

They head to a fixture store for all the serving dishes, and it became an issue when the other contestants take the house discount, and Marcel doesn't, and then Sam starts talking about him right in front of him. (Marcel points out that it's prety funny since Sam's sin is Anger.)

Betty has Sloth, and she does three slow-roasted soups.

Cliff had Greed, so he does a complex bouillabaisse.

Marcel has Lust and makes a cherry tart.

Ilan makes fudge cake and chocolately funnel cakes for his gluttony dessert, and yum, that seems to qualify. 

Colicchio stops by and seems totally unimpressed by Mike's idea of greed.

Ilan starts trash talking Marcel right at the end of the challenge, and it's not pretty, but at least in the interviews, he seems embarrassed that he went there ("there" being mocking Marcel's sex life).

Once everyone gets to the venue, they agree to help each other during the service and act like grownups (well, that's not exactly what they said).

Sam is up first, and Marcel helps out by pouring the wine. Sam's wrathful ceviche is up first, which everyone seems to adore.

Betty's soups are up next, with three soups in three flutes, making it slothful because you drink it I guess. Even the pretty one for the closeup didn't look that pretty. The judges don't seem to like the texture, saying she probably didn't strain it -- "That's pretty lazy," Tom says. I snicker like an 11-year-old.

Sam presents Mike's Envy dish because Mike doesn't think his face should be out there, but they make him come out to explain his dish. Tom and Padma are shocked that Mike did this tasty dish, which bodes both well and not so well for him.

Cliff's Greed dish is up next, the bouillabaisse, he says it's greedy because of the amount of seafood.

Elia's chickens, "which look very proud to be here," get rave reviews.

Marcel's first dessert is up, and he doesn't want any help. (Hey, guess what, his dessert has foam.) Betty starts snarking about Marcel "snapping" at him, when all he did was stop them from leaving. Ilan says, let's not help him serve, and force him to apologize before putting out the dessert. Bucco's wife from The Sopranos gets all flirty and asks him to serve the cherries to her, which gets all weird as he dollops chocolate sauce into her mouth. The judges start laughing about the foam, and Debi Mazar starts talking about how the dish (which is supposed to have to do with Lust, remember) seems to have been made by someone who, "hasn't had as much sex as he needs" to create a dish that's over the top. Man, it was bad enough when Ilan, who hates him, was mocking him, but to have an actress who doesn't even know him call him out -- in describing his food! -- all I can say is ouch.

Ilan's second dessert has to go through some changes at the last second -- the funnel cake got crispy, so they dipped them in simple syrup. The main part was the fudgey cake, though, so it wasn't the worst thing ever. However, in his presentation, he points out that cherries are supposed to drop your libido, which was so rude and unprofessional to Marcel. Yeah, he doesn't like him, but keep it to yourself during judging. No one seemed to love the second dessert, though.

Now, Judges' Table. Guest judge Roberto didn't like the desserts or the soups. And he thought Michael's was the best. Ted loved it, too. They all loved Elia's chicken, but Tom thought the presentation should have been more over the top. Sam's dish gets high marks again, too. Elia, Michael and Sam are the top three -- and seriously, they have to know they did the best, right, after seeing everyone else's food? -- but the winner is Michael. "You should cook on Vicodin more often," Tom says. Bottom three is easy: Marcel, Betty and Ilan. Tom asks Ilan why he slammed Marcel's dish. Ted says Marcel's dish was the most lovely, but it didn't seem "lusty" enough. Padma tells him to knock off the foam. Tom tells Betty her soups weren't smooth, and she said that she did strain it. Betty and Ilan say Marcel should go home; Marcel says Ilan should. Ilan screams at Marcel while they're waiting for the judges' decision.

Speaking of which, going home is Betty. I'm OK with that.   

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Top Chef