Early review: Charlie Sheen in DC at DAR Constitution Hall with "My Violent Torpedo of Truth"
DAR Constitution Hall was almost sold out Tuesday night for Charlie Sheen's "My Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour.
That the over-3,000 seat venue was practically filled to capacity was the least inexplicable part of last night's event, which might have been more accurately called, "A dull evening with Charlie Sheen," as it was neither violent, explosive nor truthful.
If the audience paid to watch Sheen impassively answer questions on stage and riff for a few minutes on his goddesses, Donald Trump, President Obama, and recycled Internet memes, then they got their money's worth.
But if they were expecting self-immolation, a public meltdown, or Howard Beale in sweatpants and a baseball jersey, then they were sorely disappointed.
In the hour and a half show, Sheen doesn't do much but react and listen. He was neither self-destructive nor embarrassing. He opened with the type of cursory monologue your crazy uncle delivers every Thanksgiving dinner. He said the system is broken and floated around the idea of running for president, boasting that, at least, he was born here, unlike Obama, whose birth certificate was "photoshopped."
The rest of the first half of the show - about 45 minutes - was taken up by Q&A with the comic Tommy Griffiths where the two played a round of "badmouth the Sheen bimbo" and word association. "What does the word Mars make you think, Charlie?" "Rock Star."
Comedian Jeff Ross took over hosting duties for the second half of the show, first roasting Sheen like he has many others on Comedy Central's annual celebrity roasts, and later inviting audience members to the stage to ask Sheen more questions.
The crowd - rowdy, drunk, and restless for most of the show - stopped yelling non-sequiturs and catcalls when Ross was at the podium. He actually had material to deliver.
Sheen also played two of his most-seen YouTube videos. It turns out $69 to see Charlie Sheen live doesn't get you much beyond what's already available online and on "20/20" for free. At least Sheen wasn't as late as everyone - me included - predicted. He took the stage shortly after 9 p.m., an hour after he was originally supposed to.
A longer review is coming later today.
Photo: Charlie Sheen outside DAR Constitution Hall (Washington Post)