Corkboard: where to go on Valentine's Day if you're horribly single
Run. Yes, you still have time to buy your significant other some wilted flowers from Safeway.
That is if you have a Valentine. In which case, there's a surplus of ideas, good and bad, on what to buy or where to take for dinner your boyfriend, wife, buddy or otherwise.
For those feeling left out, either because you've been jilted, or because you hate this damn holiday, there are a few places in Baltimore catering to your surly disposition.
I have a few suggestions; chime in with others in the comments.
First, nowhere will make you feel better about yourself than Nevin's, the dumpy South Baltimore bar where guests are guaranteed to be more beat-up than you feel. Kick back with a Lithuanian liqueur. And hey, they'll probably have karaoke.
At Mount Royal Tavern, the hobo-esque patrons have been convalescing from a lifetime's worth of dumpings since 10 a.m. Romantic it won't be. The bar still has Boh on draft, by the way, I just confirmed.
Strips clubs know they're as popular on Valentine's as dumpy dive bars, and they've come to take advantage of impressionable single guys with a slew of specials.
Scores is advertising $1 lap dances and $1 drinks - which one? Their ad doesn't say. The cheapskates also specify: "One drink and one lap dance per customer;" I'm assuming this refers only to the V-day specials.
Larry Flynt's Hustler Club is advertising a toga party.
Metro Gallery will throw a 'No Valentine' edition of its weekly No Rule party, for "If you want to shake the darkness or embrace it," says the Facebook invite.
Got more ideas? The comment section is below.
(Photo via 7 Deadly Sinners)
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
Hobo-esque patrons eh? Not that you had a whole lot of cred in my opinion to start, but you seem to have lost whatever was there. Maybe you'd prefer the patrons of your watering holes in imitation Versace shirts, with an attempt at an ironic tie and sleeves rolled up to indicate "Hey, I'm working hard in the newsroom!"?
Clearly, you don't appreciate what the Baltimore night life scene has to offer (which, presumably, is why you choose to write almost solely about mostly the bad shows that go on)...
there's my dart at your corkboard.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 14, 2011 4:37 PM
DISAGREE! I am going to go out on a limb and say the hobo line is one of the more insightful things Mr Maza has ever written about our fair burg.
Posted by: Perkus Tooth | February 14, 2011 5:10 PM
Pratt Street Ale house has an ant-holiday thing tonight.
That said as a grad of MICA who has spent more than a few nights at the Mt. Royal Tavern I certainly do not appreciate your hobo comment.
Not everyone in this city feels to need to dress like a trendy douche in order to go out for a drink
Posted by: Jackson | February 14, 2011 6:40 PM
"Not everyone in this city feels to need to dress like a trendy douche in order to go out for a drink"
MICA students are a differnt kind of trendy douche. You seem to be a shining example.
Posted by: Pollack | February 15, 2011 9:10 AM
"hobo-esque"
I just assumed it was an anti-gay slur with the ubiquitous Maza typo.
Posted by: Dave | February 15, 2011 11:33 AM
@dave: ubiquitous? you mean my blog typos are all over the city? i wonder if they're running into peter hermann's
Posted by: Maza | February 15, 2011 11:36 AM
I wasn't sure if ubiquitous was the best word choice. "Omni-present within the sphere of this blog" was what I was going for. But I don't know a word for that. That's probably why they don't let me write for The Sun. Their standards are very high.
Posted by: Dave | February 15, 2011 12:13 PM
@dave Very high? Than how is mike preston employed? I think you either need to have a crapload on seniority in the writers guild or be extremely young/untalented and willing to work for peanuts.
Posted by: Double B | February 15, 2011 12:30 PM
@doubleb: i could be wrong here, seeing how young and untalented i am, but i think, guessing really, that @Dave was being facetious.
Posted by: Maza | February 15, 2011 12:41 PM
OMG people, NEWS FLASH: young, urban hipster types dress like bums. Deal with it.
Posted by: the new transported man | February 15, 2011 2:23 PM
@TNTM: chuck klosterman also has a good line about this
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/116991
Posted by: Maza | February 15, 2011 3:08 PM