"If Baltimore is a blowzy broad, your city is" contest winner
Baltimore might be the blowzy broad with a million stories, but San Francisco is "the uppity vegan taking you aside at Whole Foods to explain why your choice of oat bran crackers is supporting the packaged food industrial complex."
That's the winning caption of the contest that was inspired by last week's nightlife column.
After Midnight Sun anthropomorphized Charm City as a chatty broad, colleague John McIntyre launched a small-stakes contest to see who could come up with the snappiest city comparison.
This blog even upped the ante by offering the new Gucci Mane album, "The Appeal" to the winning writer.
Commenter 'fermata' wrote the winning caption, but others submitted some real gems:
Commenter DeWitt Clinton wrote, "If Baltimore is the guy at the bar with a great story about how he lost his little finger, Albany, NY is a dairy farmer who thinks he's sophisticated because he owns a necktie and is taking classes to be a notary public."
Commenter KellyJ added, "Asheville is the organic gardening, Prius Driving yoga teacher who uses passive aggressive comments to make sure you know how much better she is than you."
And finally, on Midnight Sun, commenter incunabulum wrote, "Houston is at the Auto Show explaining the features of the all-new Corolla."
Sadly, since a You Don't Say reader won the contest, Midnight Sun lost his bet against McIntyre, and so Gucci Mane stays with me.
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
