Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays: If BP had a bar ...
What? Did you think Owl Meat was gone? Nah, he was just on a brief hiatus, doing his Owly thing. He's back now -- and slicker than ever.
In light of the whole BP potentially stopping the oil spill thing (about freaking time, guys), Owl Meat has put together a list of the Top Ten Cocktails at the BP Cafe.
Feel free to submit your own, folks.
Without further delay, here they are ...
Top Ten Cocktails at the BP Cafe
1) Flintstone Daiquiri -- WILMAAAAAA!!!
2) Italian Gulf Surfer -- Hang dead, dude.
3) Beep Beep - a.k.a. Louisiana Roadrunner -- drops you like an anvil.
4) Rum, Sodomy and the Lash -- a nostalgic cocktail evoking previous English nautical gifts to humanity.
5) Black and Tan and Blue -- Declare passive-aggressive war on Ireland, I mean the oceans.
6) Slow Uncomfortable Screw -- Sloe gin, Southern Comfort, and OJ. Not orange juice. Served by new BP spokesman O. J. Simpson.
7) Really, Really, Really Dirty Martini -- Boodles gin, bayou water ice and shake. (Meaning you will shake until you convulse.)
8) Treme Cocktail* -- Complex, cluttered, and laudable. Order a round for the table to impress people. Travel back to simpler times when New Orleans only had to worry about hurricanes, voodoo, and Harry Conick, Jr.
9) Dirty Diana -- ironic tribute to the late Princess of Whales.
10) Stiff Upper Lip -- Tanqueray, Pimm's, and Gulf plume water. Caution: may paralyze entire face, not just upper lip. A fave of BP spokesmen.
* Treme drinking game -- the first person at your table to mention "The Wire" has to chug.
(An activist dressed as death holds an oil covered globe June 16, 2010 during a demonstration in Washington, DC against BP for their role in the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Photo by Getty Images)