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July 20, 2010

Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays: BP Lounge's Happy Hour Menu

it's hard to tell if she's enjoying that taco or not. what do you  think?

Here's Midnight Sun columnist Owl Meat with another installment of his weekly Tipsy Tuesdays:

Last week's BP Bar cocktail menu was a smashing good success. Now that our little misunderstanding with the ocean has been (hopefully) cleared up, we want to celebrate with a new happy hour food menu.

We put our corporate chef Ramsay Gordon to task to whip up some victuals for your prodigious American bellies appetites.

We Brits had to create an empire to get a decent meal. Here at the BP Lounge all you have to do is ask, no violent oppression needed. Seriously, please stop assaulting the servers.

Here's the menu ...

1) Daffy Dixie Duck -- AFLAC! AaaaFLAC ... Aaaaf ... Aaa ... [kerplunk]. Served with a benzene aioli.

2) Mumbo Gumbo -- A BP Executive Club selection. What's in it? Just eat it and stop asking so many bloody questions.

3) Flash Fried Flipper Fritters -- Blackened tuna-free dolphin. Accompanied by okra poppers and Free-Range Willy sauce.

4) Wayward Hayward Wacky Wings -- BP Chief Tony Hayward's fave. Pieces of accidentally (oopsy!) genetically-modified sea birds. Served with a Dawn chipotle dispersal dipping sauce.

5) Shaft Sampler -- Who are the corporate cats who won't cap out when there's sludge all about? BP! Jolly good, brotha.

6) London Nachos -- Giddy-up buckaroos for maize crisps smothered in indifference, greed and xenophobia with Ye Olde Imperialism gravy. ¡Olé!

7) English Sushi -- Hey, you fell for Italian sushi. Enjoy a Manchester maki: Baked beans rolled in white bread drizzled with bacon grease and ham juice and a Gummy Bear honey au jus. Tally ho, Yankee-san.

8) Mississippi Pot-a-Feu -- The finest chunks of varmints and critters stewed in organic Earth juice (pétrole brut). Served with a heapin' helpin' of swamp fries and a fire extinguisher.

9) Maryland-Style Cap & Crunch Crab Cakes -- If crabs are extinct, Alabama veal (baby possum) with be substituted. Watch out for bones!

10) Driveway Beignets -- Classic Norlins pastries with a hint of asphalt.

Remember, at BP we pretend to care because you insisted that we do so. Now eat and forget.

If you have any suggestions for Chef Gordon, please comment below. Pip pip cheerio, mates.

(Photo by Getty Images)


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Posted by Sam Sessa at 12:50 PM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays
        

Comments

Arrrr.... The sea will have it's revenge!

Ye don't mess with the creatures of the deep. I know it too well. Scurvy men, ye are all doomed when the the Great Beasts come back to get you!

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at erik.maza@baltsun.com. Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.
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