I would like to challenge Tokyo Police Club to a true Baltimore cooking competition. As part of the challenge, we must use the following ingredients:

- Utz Potato Chips
- Boh
- Berger Cookies
- Lake Trout

Human Crab Race!

Okay, here's how you do it.

Option 1: Tie your left wrist to your left ankle with two foot length of PVC pipe in the middle. Do the same with your right limbs. See, now You can only walk sideways like a crab.

Option 2: Do something similar to just the ankles of a pair of people. Tie their hands behind their back for extra awkwardness.

No doubt hilarity will ensue. I see a new stupid tradition.

And yes, my solution to everything is that people should be tied up.

On your mark,
Get set.
Crab race!

How about a contest where people photograph themselves with cans of Resurrection Ale in all kinds of wacky...wait...what...you can't....ah, screw it.

How about you hoist a bike rack up onstage, and each contestant has to clip a lock which secures a fixed-gear bike to the rack. Ride the bike to Boss Cash on the Block, pick up a 6-pack of Boh & a box of Berger cookies, then head back. Upon arrival, you down a cookie and a Boh. First one done, wins. If a contestant hurls or is propositioned by a prostitute, extra points are awarded.

Whole thing could be shown on a screen while Passion Pit is playing. It'd be a mess.

Is the comments section the official entry?

If so:

I say keep it simple and classic-
Contest for the cleanest picked old-bay drenched crabs and emptiest Bohs in a set amount of time.
The winner will be determined by whoever has the biggest pile of picked meat and the most empties at the end.

This splits the advantage evenly, as the locals will have to fight the temptation of eating as they pick and the non-locals will have to figure out how to pick a crab in the first place.

Of course, the scoring system will need a few tweaks, i.e. number of points for pile vs. points for empty Bohs, but I think it's do-able.

I'm happy to draft and/ or sign a release so no one gets sued.

Finally, I have to make a shameless plea to win this, as my good friend is having her birthday at the show and I totally screwed up by not buying tickets before they sold out. Save me, Sam and Tokyo Police Club.

They should engage some of our tradition Charm City sports - like rat fishing.

@ Devil D -- yes, enter by posting a comment. I added this to the original post.

Yeah. We should start our own game, where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing's the way it seems.

Hipster Dive: Create the best looking/value, minimum 3-piece hipster/scenester ensemble, i.e. at least top, bottom, & accessory, using the local Goodwill. 5-minute limit (excluding check-out), obviously no way to try anything on beforehand, judged by a handful of independent peers, & you don't have to buy shoes. Bonus points awarded for scoring shoes or particularly awesome additional accessories.

Or a poetry contest about having a menage a trois with Paula Deen and Mrs. Butterworth. Never mind

The BohBot:

The winner is this contest is he or she who produces the best robot using only Natty Boh cans & appropriate resources, namely scissors, duct tape, & whatever crap you can fit in your pocket, e.g. coins, buttons, a small flashlight. Beers don't have to be consumed, but poured into pitchers for all to enjoy following the contest. 15-minute limit, minimum 12 cans each, judged by independent peers, & extra points awarded for beers consumed instead of poured.

That's a good show! I need to read up on Rams Head's schedule once in a while.

The Baltimore Inner Harbor Tokyo Police Club Pentathalon:

1) Start at Ram's Head Live. Eat a bag of Utz Crab Chips, and down it with a Natty Boh. Recycle your Boh can and...

2) Run to the Aquarium, where you will put on a police hat and badge. Find Japanese tourists. Insist that you are the Tokyo police. Get your picture taken with them.

3) Run to the Inner Harbor. In the center outdoor stage area, sing a verse from The Wire's theme song while wearing Hampden beehive wigs.

4) Run back to Ram's head. At the finish line, eat two Berger cookies and finally...

5) Hug Dan Deacon—no bro hugs; you have to use both arms—and live to tell about it.

Block Party:

First to get back to Ram's Head with both a.) a picture with a Baltimore police, & b.) a picture with a Baltimore stripper wins.

Li-Boh-tions: Assuming the bar would participate, you win this contest by creating the best tasting cocktail using Natty Boh as a base. 5-minute limit, extra points for creativity, or for putting a Berger cookie on the rim as garnish.

HIPSTER TRASH!!!

Contestants each get a bunch of heavy duty trash bags and some gloves. Everyone scours a pre-determined area in downtown Baltimore and picks up as much litter as possible.

Whoever gets the most by weight wins the tickets, and the rest of us win by having cleaner streets.

Drinking Boh during the contest is strictly optional, and will not earn extra points.

I like where Devil D's head's at

Along the same lines as my original idea, I'd also be interested to see who could collect the most copies of Sun Plus from stoops and porches around the city in a set amount of time.

Again, drinking Boh the whole time is optional.

Each team gets a bandana with "Champ" written on it. You have to run around the city and put the bandana on as many dogs as you can find, and take a picture with them. Whoever has the most photos at the end wins :)

thumb wrestling

Someone should baltimorize their rider, with the best versions of the foods they want from baltimore locales.

Did anybody win this?

Funny you should ask -- the band's management hasn't gotten back to me about it. I fear they may have stood us up.

Yeah, I figured as much. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner: Devil D!

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/midnight_sun/blog/2010/06/the_winner_of_the_tokyo_police.html