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May 26, 2010

The vodka eyeball post

richard branson vodka earballsKids these days, with their vodka and their eyeballs.

Have you heard about this? To get drunk/impress girls/pass the time, young dudes are drinking vodka through their eyeballs. Yeah. Their eyeballs.

I use "drinking" in a loose sense, because you can only dump vodka in your eye for so long before it turns red and hurts like a mother. Not that I would know, or anything. But I've heard.

Witness this video, which pretty much sums it up ...

To be fair, vodka eyeballing isn't a new thing at all. If you scan YouTube, a bunch of the videos were made years ago. It also seems to be mildly popular among Europeans (go figure). 

What appears to have happened is, in the past week, the Mainstream Media found out about vodka eyeballing, seized upon it as a Startling Thing Young People Are Doing, and thereby exposed millions of teens to something only a fraction of the population knew about beforehand. Way to go, guys. Now everybody's gonna be vodka eyeballing this summer.

In college, I knew a few folks who dropped LSD through their eyes. They said it felt weird but acted immediately, because it was quickly absorbed into their brains. I took their word for it.

Given how much a shot of vodka burns my throat, I can only imagine how painful it would be to splash vodka into my eyes -- let alone hold a bottle up to my eye for an extended period of time.

Even if it gets you drunker quicker, vodka eyeballing has got to damage your corona cornea. While I've been the guinea pig for all kinds of drinking trends, I'm sure as hell not vodka eyeballing.

(The closest picture I could find to vodka eyeballing in our archives was this one, of ba-zillionaire Richard Branson dumping vodka into his ears in 1995. Or perhaps he's just using them instead of cotton swabs. I'm not entirely sure. Photo by Reuters.)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 7:32 AM | | Comments (15)
Categories: Bars & Clubs


My mom works at a middle school and they all have been briefed about another method kids have been using for absorbing alcohol quickly. Let's just say vodka and feminine products and I'll leave it at that...


i have an idea...start buying decent vodka! not only will it impress the chick, but you won't gag trying to drink it.

This is perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and I've been to the Sun's national news message board

Dude, The Sun message boards are black holes of racist, conservative garbage. Reading them is hilarious but also sad. A piece of me dies every time I look BUT I CAN'T STOP LOOKING

This is dumber than shooting up vodka and I thought that was pretty dumb.

What!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! I was really hoping you were kidding :(

Motley Crue was notorious for shooting liquor.
Something is pretty FUBAR when there's the need to "drink" in new and interesting ways. I'm looking forward to the accidental deaths from booze enemas ( yeah, people do that too, and it's an easy way to get fatal alcohol poisoning)

The best part is a high concentrations alcohol actually competes with retinol in your eyballs, causing you to go blind! A direct route to the eyeball = instant blind vodka eyeballing teens!

Back in college ('06) I remember hearing about sorority girls up at Boston College doing something like this.

I seem to remember there being some sort of caloric benefit to not ingesting the vodka.

I had to watch a couple others in the youtube queue - this method is probably more safe.

I'm pretty sure there's a Darwain Award in here somewhere for some lucky idiot.

"Back in college ('06) I remember hearing about sorority girls up at Boston College doing something like this."

Vodka, mascara and eyeliner, just the thing for the connoisseur with the discerning palate.

"The Sun message boards are black holes of racist, conservative garbage."

Sam, does that mean we can count on fair and balance liberal garbage everywhere else?

As a European (Mother is dutch, father is German, moved to the US when I was 13), I am deeply offended by the insuation that this is "mildly popular among Europeans". This is something that the British thought up. And the British are not European!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are an Island full of monkeys, presumably left there by American college students while on a stoner trip to Amsterdam. Please America, come pick up your trash, we're tired of it stinking up a neighbourhood.


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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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