The vodka eyeball post
Kids these days, with their vodka and their eyeballs.
Have you heard about this? To get drunk/impress girls/pass the time, young dudes are drinking vodka through their eyeballs. Yeah. Their eyeballs.
I use "drinking" in a loose sense, because you can only dump vodka in your eye for so long before it turns red and hurts like a mother. Not that I would know, or anything. But I've heard.
Witness this video, which pretty much sums it up ...
What appears to have happened is, in the past week, the Mainstream Media found out about vodka eyeballing, seized upon it as a Startling Thing Young People Are Doing, and thereby exposed millions of teens to something only a fraction of the population knew about beforehand. Way to go, guys. Now everybody's gonna be vodka eyeballing this summer.
In college, I knew a few folks who dropped LSD through their eyes. They said it felt weird but acted immediately, because it was quickly absorbed into their brains. I took their word for it.
Given how much a shot of vodka burns my throat, I can only imagine how painful it would be to splash vodka into my eyes -- let alone hold a bottle up to my eye for an extended period of time.
Even if it gets you drunker quicker, vodka eyeballing has got to damage your corona cornea. While I've been the guinea pig for all kinds of drinking trends, I'm sure as hell not vodka eyeballing.
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
My mom works at a middle school and they all have been briefed about another method kids have been using for absorbing alcohol quickly. Let's just say vodka and feminine products and I'll leave it at that...
Posted by: Kim Moore | May 26, 2010 8:12 AM
Gack!
Posted by: Sam Sessa | May 26, 2010 8:19 AM
i have an idea...start buying decent vodka! not only will it impress the chick, but you won't gag trying to drink it.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 26, 2010 8:48 AM
This is perhaps the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and I've been to the Sun's national news message board
Posted by: drunk richard | May 26, 2010 9:00 AM
Dude, The Sun message boards are black holes of racist, conservative garbage. Reading them is hilarious but also sad. A piece of me dies every time I look BUT I CAN'T STOP LOOKING
Posted by: Sam Sessa | May 26, 2010 9:04 AM
This is dumber than shooting up vodka and I thought that was pretty dumb.
Posted by: Josh | May 26, 2010 9:10 AM
What!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! I was really hoping you were kidding :(
Posted by: Nakiya | May 26, 2010 9:39 AM
Motley Crue was notorious for shooting liquor.
Something is pretty FUBAR when there's the need to "drink" in new and interesting ways. I'm looking forward to the accidental deaths from booze enemas ( yeah, people do that too, and it's an easy way to get fatal alcohol poisoning)
Posted by: Baltimocker | May 26, 2010 10:43 AM
The best part is a high concentrations alcohol actually competes with retinol in your eyballs, causing you to go blind! A direct route to the eyeball = instant blind vodka eyeballing teens!
Posted by: Evan | May 26, 2010 11:01 AM
Back in college ('06) I remember hearing about sorority girls up at Boston College doing something like this.
I seem to remember there being some sort of caloric benefit to not ingesting the vodka.
Posted by: Bradford | May 26, 2010 11:32 AM
I had to watch a couple others in the youtube queue - this method is probably more safe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paQLjyuyZhg&feature=related
Posted by: Ed | May 26, 2010 11:33 AM
I'm pretty sure there's a Darwain Award in here somewhere for some lucky idiot.
Posted by: JohnM. | May 26, 2010 1:31 PM
"Back in college ('06) I remember hearing about sorority girls up at Boston College doing something like this."
Yummy!
Vodka, mascara and eyeliner, just the thing for the connoisseur with the discerning palate.
"The Sun message boards are black holes of racist, conservative garbage."
Sam, does that mean we can count on fair and balance liberal garbage everywhere else?
Posted by: GDA | May 28, 2010 6:31 PM
As a European (Mother is dutch, father is German, moved to the US when I was 13), I am deeply offended by the insuation that this is "mildly popular among Europeans". This is something that the British thought up. And the British are not European!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are an Island full of monkeys, presumably left there by American college students while on a stoner trip to Amsterdam. Please America, come pick up your trash, we're tired of it stinking up a neighbourhood.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 2, 2010 11:55 PM
Anon,
Whaaaat???
Posted by: RayRay | June 3, 2010 10:24 AM