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April 20, 2010

What are your favorite awful band names?

bad band names are funny and also sad.Walking past Frazier's on The Avenue last week, I was struck by a couple flyers on the front door.

The flyers were advertising a future show, featuring bands named, and I quote: Puddle, Gag School, 4-Footer and World Badness.

That might just be the best lineup of the worst-named bands in town.

Gag School? What is one smoking/drinking/thinking when one decides to name one's band Gag School? It's probably the same guy I saw a couple years ago at Seacrets in Ocean City wearing a T-shirt with the words "Suck it" and an arrow pointing down to his crotch. Stay classy, Seacrets.

The headliner is Puddle. Could it be one half of the original Puddle of Mudd? Could it be? And 4-Footer? Do I even want to know what that stands for? Hee hee.

Do you have a favorite awful band name? ...

I get plenty of emails from obscenely named bands, looking for coverage. Some examples: Nashville P****, Starf*****r, Holy F***, and the like. Obviously, I'm never going to write about them, The Sun being a family newspaper and all. That doesn't stop them from asking, though.

All the crappily named bands out there could be because all the good band names are taken, a phenomenon the Wall Street Journal wrote about a couple months ago.

What gives me license to skewer Puddle, Gag School, 4-Footer and the rest of the awfully named band gang? Back in high school, I was in a cover band called No Outlet. How lame is that? We wanted to take some press shots of us all holding electrical plugs while standing on top of a cop car, if I remember correctly, but we obviously never made that happen.

(Photo by me)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 10:01 AM | | Comments (45)
Categories: Bars & Clubs


The Low Life

If Puddle is the same band I used to go see in high school (still have their tape!) they are awesome and not to be dissed with your hee hee-ness.

*shakes fist menacingly*

Shake your fist all you want, Patchenzo. I still think Puddle is an oily name.

Would "Filthy Rotten Sex Machine" be OK to write about in a family paper?

PS: I saw Puddle years ago and they were pretty darn good.

Everyone Gets Laid

The The... great new wave band, terrible name.

Gnarly Rueage is pretty terrible.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage ... Ned's Atomic Dustbin

Coke Dick Motorcycle Awesome

Except I actually love that name because it just cracks me up.

I once booked Veronica Back Morpheus Nipple.

Best bad name ever. (And they were great! Fun fact: Jack Drag of the Submarines opened.)

Also Bryan@PCU wins for the reference!

worst name ever: the Four Skins

I gotta show Puddle some love as well. You can stuff your hee-hee's in a sack.

Next Midnight Sun social event: Wherever we can see CDMA.

That is the greatest name for a band ever

I've always thought "The Cranberries" was a pretty stupid name. Same with Goo Goo Dolls. Then, of course, there are the completely unoriginal "place" names... Boston, Kansas, etc....

There are the bands that have ridiculous names that somehow remain awesome:

Godspeed You Black Emperor!
The Mr. T Experience
Old Crow Medicine Show

Lastly, there are ones that I simply don't get... like a death/thrash band called Dew Scented. Silly Germans.

One of the members of Rush was in a band called Waterlogged Gorilla Fingers.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have a band called DVDA...'nuff said.

This is NOT funny. One of thge boys in 4-Footer is friends with my son Jeremy. :( He had dinner here this weekend.

Hey,'s 4Skins!

They were playing a show at CCAS years ago, I I was hosting an art opening for a family member. In other words, many people of blood relation would be there.

Sitting at a desk, welcoming people in has never been so fun.

Getting eyed up by Nanna because of a flyer with the band "Horse Clitoris" is not one of those things on most people's to-do-list.

Horse Clitoris?
Even for grindcore, it's a horrible name.

Real band names, not all favorites, some on major labels:
The Earwings (Alice Cooper's earlier band))
Sick F**ks
Alien Sex Friends
Dead Kennedys
Revolting Cocks
Brian Jonestown Massacre
The Bloodless Pharoahs (Brian Setzer pre-Stray Cats)
Wet Willie
The Dead Boys
Sweaty Nipples
Connie & the Linguistics
The Dickies
Battered Ornaments
Dib Cochran & The Earwigs (A one off by Marc Bolan, Micky Finn, David Bowie, Tony Viscounti, Rick Wakeman & John Cambridge)
any band whose name ends with a "z" in place of an "s"

You gotta love Tommy McGee & The Glen Burnie Rhythm Section. (they're a trio)

Best worst band name ever:

Free Pizza and Wings

An otherwise smart group of talentless guitar playing college kids came up with this name, as in "Dude, print up fliers that say Free Pizza and Wings 9pm @ Fraziers! We'll pack the place!" Fortunately we, errr they, sobered up before going through with it.

@KAZ - I went to one of your shows at Fraziers...I think it was part of my losing at poker to you and Jesse.

soilent green
pig destroyer
abrahams meat plow

My sister's joke was she was going to start a band with a name that guaranteed brisk traffic wherever it went.............


Gag school has members of the seminal bmore/dc band reptile house. Do you know who they are? You should. Members went on to be in lungfish and Samhain. They have a retrospective coming out on dischord. Their name reminds me of bands like big black and rapeman. So does their sound. If you don't know who any of these bands are you shouldn't be writing about music. Just sayin.

ADM IV, I remember actually seeing a band named Free Beer in the early 80s Bay Area punk scene. A buncha East Bay teenagers who were mediocre musicians, but had some energy and a name that got them onto fliers.'

Ah, Rapeman. Good times.


No hating on RevCo.

I heard there used to be a band called the Beatles. Named after bugs? Ewwww. And misspelled to boot.

Many years ago when I was Sam Sessa's age, I did the club and concert listings for the Sun's "Maryland Live" section. Every week I'd pick a "band of the week" based soley on the band's name. My favorites -- Sheep on Acid, Fred Wears a Dress and Car full of Bobs, which then I believe changed its name to No Bobs Here after one of the band members left.

thank's for the Shout out to "Fred Wears A Dress" , I played in that band and came up with the name watching the Flintstones one night after drinking a few sixs of 'Boh. I looked at our lead singer and said, " You know, Fred Wears a Dress" and that was that...Up until then we were going to name the band "Nude Chicks and Free Beer"...Just Sayin'

I heard there used to be a band called the Beatles. Named after bugs?

Boo. Everybody knows who they were named after and it wasn't that bug.

I remember Goblin C**k.. horrible..


I know Sheep on Drugs, don't know of Sheep on Acid. Different bands or did you mean SoD not SoA?

The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza

The Ministers Without Portfolio

Conehead Buddha

And my favorite: When People Were Shorter and Lived by the Water

The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad is a pretty awful/great band name, if I do say so myself!

Nutsack Mittens

Not Drowning, Waving

Butthole Surfers

Mouse Rat

my vote goes for analcunt. oh, blastcore.

also, vampire weekend is a ridiculous name.

John Mayer

come on man, can't get much worse than that

MR Nacho -- I have actually seen Fred Wears a Dress at Max's back when there were bands there (Geez, I'm dating myself.) Courtney -- I swore it was Sheep on Acid, but maybe it was Sheep on drugs. Maybe I was the one on acid. It was the early 1990s. :)

So many "bad" names like Throbbing Gristle, An*l C*nt, etc. are just distasteful. The real horrors are band names like Suddenly, Tammy! or Absolutely Boxspring (yes, these are real bands). Putting two random words together as a band name was a '90s thing I guess. The band listings for the club called the Bank back then would usually offer some real stinkers. Ekoostik Hookah anyone?

@ WiseLisa and anyone else who has witnessed the Fred Wears a Dress Live Show Debaucle; We appoligise for the nudity and crazy onstage antics from our lead singer. Jeff later moved on to front the now defunct local booze fueled rock band, The Twin Six.

@ Wise Lisa: I ask b/c Sheep on Drugs was on the invisible records label; I know the owner.

We're close in age...have awesome memories of seeing Vinx, dada, Lucinda Williams(!!), Shawn Colvin, Peter Himmelman + many more musicians at Max's.

I actually yelled unpleasant words at Ron when he decided to stop booking bands. I'm happy he's making BIG $ on awesome beer, as opposed to losing LOTS of $$$$ on live music.

@mjripple: I remember seeing those ads + shaking my head at the dumb names! Did see Mary Lou Lord at The Bank. Normal name, wonderful singer-songwriter.

The versatility of the English language promises us boundless possibilities w/ respect to band names; the best are yet to come. I happened to witness the show in question, and it was vastly more entertaining than anything to be had in the smug, complacent, and generally illiterate blogoshere.

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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