What are your favorite awful band names?
Walking past Frazier's on The Avenue last week, I was struck by a couple flyers on the front door.
The flyers were advertising a future show, featuring bands named, and I quote: Puddle, Gag School, 4-Footer and World Badness.
That might just be the best lineup of the worst-named bands in town.
Gag School? What is one smoking/drinking/thinking when one decides to name one's band Gag School? It's probably the same guy I saw a couple years ago at Seacrets in Ocean City wearing a T-shirt with the words "Suck it" and an arrow pointing down to his crotch. Stay classy, Seacrets.
The headliner is Puddle. Could it be one half of the original Puddle of Mudd? Could it be? And 4-Footer? Do I even want to know what that stands for? Hee hee.
Do you have a favorite awful band name? ...
I get plenty of emails from obscenely named bands, looking for coverage. Some examples: Nashville P****, Starf*****r, Holy F***, and the like. Obviously, I'm never going to write about them, The Sun being a family newspaper and all. That doesn't stop them from asking, though.
All the crappily named bands out there could be because all the good band names are taken, a phenomenon the Wall Street Journal wrote about a couple months ago.
What gives me license to skewer Puddle, Gag School, 4-Footer and the rest of the awfully named band gang? Back in high school, I was in a cover band called No Outlet. How lame is that? We wanted to take some press shots of us all holding electrical plugs while standing on top of a cop car, if I remember correctly, but we obviously never made that happen.
(Photo by me)
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
The Low Life
Posted by: Snickers and a Gun | April 20, 2010 10:22 AM
If Puddle is the same band I used to go see in high school (still have their tape!) they are awesome and not to be dissed with your hee hee-ness.
*shakes fist menacingly*
Posted by: Patchen | April 20, 2010 10:33 AM
Shake your fist all you want, Patchenzo. I still think Puddle is an oily name.
Posted by: Sam Sessa | April 20, 2010 10:41 AM
Would "Filthy Rotten Sex Machine" be OK to write about in a family paper?
PS: I saw Puddle years ago and they were pretty darn good.
Posted by: mobtown999 | April 20, 2010 10:44 AM
Everyone Gets Laid
Posted by: bryan@PCU | April 20, 2010 10:46 AM
The The... great new wave band, terrible name.
Posted by: MCG | April 20, 2010 10:56 AM
Gnarly Rueage is pretty terrible.
Posted by: Josh | April 20, 2010 11:03 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage ... Ned's Atomic Dustbin
Posted by: Skittles | April 20, 2010 11:17 AM
Coke Dick Motorcycle Awesome
Except I actually love that name because it just cracks me up.
Posted by: Nik | April 20, 2010 11:28 AM
I once booked Veronica Back Morpheus Nipple.
Best bad name ever. (And they were great! Fun fact: Jack Drag of the Submarines opened.)
Also Bryan@PCU wins for the reference!
Posted by: Patchen | April 20, 2010 12:10 PM
worst name ever: the Four Skins
I gotta show Puddle some love as well. You can stuff your hee-hee's in a sack.
Posted by: The Baltimore Chop | April 20, 2010 12:13 PM
Next Midnight Sun social event: Wherever we can see CDMA.
That is the greatest name for a band ever
Posted by: Don't Shake the Baby | April 20, 2010 12:21 PM
I've always thought "The Cranberries" was a pretty stupid name. Same with Goo Goo Dolls. Then, of course, there are the completely unoriginal "place" names... Boston, Kansas, etc....
There are the bands that have ridiculous names that somehow remain awesome:
Godspeed You Black Emperor!
The Mr. T Experience
Old Crow Medicine Show
Lastly, there are ones that I simply don't get... like a death/thrash band called Dew Scented. Silly Germans.
Posted by: Dave F. | April 20, 2010 12:29 PM
One of the members of Rush was in a band called Waterlogged Gorilla Fingers.
Posted by: Peter | April 20, 2010 1:08 PM
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have a band called DVDA...'nuff said.
Posted by: BC | April 20, 2010 1:22 PM
This is NOT funny. One of thge boys in 4-Footer is friends with my son Jeremy. :( He had dinner here this weekend.
Posted by: Sue Hopper | April 20, 2010 1:35 PM
Hey, Chop...it's 4Skins!
They were playing a show at CCAS years ago, I I was hosting an art opening for a family member. In other words, many people of blood relation would be there.
Sitting at a desk, welcoming people in has never been so fun.
Getting eyed up by Nanna because of a flyer with the band "Horse Clitoris" is not one of those things on most people's to-do-list.
Seriously?
Horse Clitoris?
Even for grindcore, it's a horrible name.
Posted by: Stagger Lee | April 20, 2010 2:14 PM
Real band names, not all favorites, some on major labels:
The Earwings (Alice Cooper's earlier band))
Sick F**ks
Alien Sex Friends
Dead Kennedys
Revolting Cocks
Brian Jonestown Massacre
The Bloodless Pharoahs (Brian Setzer pre-Stray Cats)
Wet Willie
Abortion
The Dead Boys
Sweaty Nipples
Connie & the Linguistics
The Dickies
Battered Ornaments
Skafish
Dib Cochran & The Earwigs (A one off by Marc Bolan, Micky Finn, David Bowie, Tony Viscounti, Rick Wakeman & John Cambridge)
any band whose name ends with a "z" in place of an "s"
Posted by: GDA | April 20, 2010 2:34 PM
You gotta love Tommy McGee & The Glen Burnie Rhythm Section. (they're a trio)
Posted by: Dave | April 20, 2010 2:56 PM
Best worst band name ever:
Free Pizza and Wings
An otherwise smart group of talentless guitar playing college kids came up with this name, as in "Dude, print up fliers that say Free Pizza and Wings 9pm @ Fraziers! We'll pack the place!" Fortunately we, errr they, sobered up before going through with it.
Posted by: KAZ | April 20, 2010 4:07 PM
@KAZ - I went to one of your shows at Fraziers...I think it was part of my losing at poker to you and Jesse.
Posted by: BC | April 20, 2010 4:14 PM
analcunt
eyehategod
soilent green
pig destroyer
abrahams meat plow
Posted by: henrylee | April 20, 2010 5:55 PM
My sister's joke was she was going to start a band with a name that guaranteed brisk traffic wherever it went.............
FREE BEER
Posted by: Alexander D. Mitchell IV | April 20, 2010 6:55 PM
Gag school has members of the seminal bmore/dc band reptile house. Do you know who they are? You should. Members went on to be in lungfish and Samhain. They have a retrospective coming out on dischord. Their name reminds me of bands like big black and rapeman. So does their sound. If you don't know who any of these bands are you shouldn't be writing about music. Just sayin.
Posted by: Totally | April 20, 2010 11:04 PM
ADM IV, I remember actually seeing a band named Free Beer in the early 80s Bay Area punk scene. A buncha East Bay teenagers who were mediocre musicians, but had some energy and a name that got them onto fliers.'
Posted by: Volker | April 20, 2010 11:24 PM
Ah, Rapeman. Good times.
Posted by: cap'n fistavenger | April 21, 2010 7:42 AM
@GDA
No hating on RevCo.
Posted by: Don't Shake the Baby | April 21, 2010 9:06 AM
I heard there used to be a band called the Beatles. Named after bugs? Ewwww. And misspelled to boot.
Posted by: some other george | April 21, 2010 9:17 AM
Many years ago when I was Sam Sessa's age, I did the club and concert listings for the Sun's "Maryland Live" section. Every week I'd pick a "band of the week" based soley on the band's name. My favorites -- Sheep on Acid, Fred Wears a Dress and Car full of Bobs, which then I believe changed its name to No Bobs Here after one of the band members left.
Posted by: WiseLisa | April 21, 2010 9:45 AM
thank's for the Shout out to "Fred Wears A Dress" , I played in that band and came up with the name watching the Flintstones one night after drinking a few sixs of 'Boh. I looked at our lead singer and said, " You know, Fred Wears a Dress" and that was that...Up until then we were going to name the band "Nude Chicks and Free Beer"...Just Sayin'
Posted by: MR Nacho | April 21, 2010 10:57 AM
I heard there used to be a band called the Beatles. Named after bugs?
Boo. Everybody knows who they were named after and it wasn't that bug.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | April 21, 2010 11:25 AM
I remember Goblin C**k.. horrible..
Posted by: okan | April 21, 2010 11:51 AM
WiseLisa,
I know Sheep on Drugs, don't know of Sheep on Acid. Different bands or did you mean SoD not SoA?
Posted by: Courtney B. | April 21, 2010 1:21 PM
The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Vjj72MAz40
Posted by: VoodooPork ■|:o) | April 21, 2010 1:40 PM
The Ministers Without Portfolio
Conehead Buddha
And my favorite: When People Were Shorter and Lived by the Water
Posted by: Blind Lemon Pledge | April 21, 2010 3:11 PM
The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad is a pretty awful/great band name, if I do say so myself!
Posted by: Ryan Graham | April 21, 2010 4:28 PM
Nutsack Mittens
Posted by: BC | April 21, 2010 4:52 PM
Not Drowning, Waving
Butthole Surfers
Mouse Rat
Posted by: ~╥╥☺◄TerrierGirl | April 21, 2010 5:25 PM
my vote goes for analcunt. oh, blastcore.
also, vampire weekend is a ridiculous name.
Posted by: Allan | April 22, 2010 9:00 AM
John Mayer
come on man, can't get much worse than that
Posted by: jack | April 22, 2010 9:38 AM
MR Nacho -- I have actually seen Fred Wears a Dress at Max's back when there were bands there (Geez, I'm dating myself.) Courtney -- I swore it was Sheep on Acid, but maybe it was Sheep on drugs. Maybe I was the one on acid. It was the early 1990s. :)
Posted by: WiseLisa | April 22, 2010 9:58 AM
So many "bad" names like Throbbing Gristle, An*l C*nt, etc. are just distasteful. The real horrors are band names like Suddenly, Tammy! or Absolutely Boxspring (yes, these are real bands). Putting two random words together as a band name was a '90s thing I guess. The band listings for the club called the Bank back then would usually offer some real stinkers. Ekoostik Hookah anyone?
Posted by: mjrippe | April 23, 2010 2:09 AM
@ WiseLisa and anyone else who has witnessed the Fred Wears a Dress Live Show Debaucle; We appoligise for the nudity and crazy onstage antics from our lead singer. Jeff later moved on to front the now defunct local booze fueled rock band, The Twin Six.
Posted by: MR Nacho | April 23, 2010 9:33 PM
@ Wise Lisa: I ask b/c Sheep on Drugs was on the invisible records label; I know the owner.
We're close in age...have awesome memories of seeing Vinx, dada, Lucinda Williams(!!), Shawn Colvin, Peter Himmelman + many more musicians at Max's.
I actually yelled unpleasant words at Ron when he decided to stop booking bands. I'm happy he's making BIG $ on awesome beer, as opposed to losing LOTS of $$$$ on live music.
@mjripple: I remember seeing those ads + shaking my head at the dumb names! Did see Mary Lou Lord at The Bank. Normal name, wonderful singer-songwriter.
Posted by: Courtney B. | April 26, 2010 11:27 AM
The versatility of the English language promises us boundless possibilities w/ respect to band names; the best are yet to come. I happened to witness the show in question, and it was vastly more entertaining than anything to be had in the smug, complacent, and generally illiterate blogoshere.
Posted by: John | May 17, 2010 4:57 AM