This Hammerjack's promo video from the '90s is hilarious
There's a lot of crap on YouTube, but every once in a while, you strike gold.
Today, my cup ranneth over with awesomeness, courtesy of this hilarious Hammerjack's promo video. Everybody grab your Aqua-net -- we're about to step back in time, to an era of big hair, raised glasses and lowered inhibitions ...
I love love love the narration. It's classic. Also classic are the girl's teeth at :28, the mustaches throughout, and the butt-less chaps at 2:54.
"At 10 p.m., it's time to party -- to walk in the door and have Hammerjack's smack you right in the face. All of the sudden, you're in, well, you're in Hammerjack's pal."
Yes you are.
"If you were to make something that, by itself, represented all that rock 'n' roll means in America, it's Hammerjack's. It's so perfect they ought to move the whole thing into a museum, building, band, bouncers, dancers, bartenders, beer and all, and label it 'rock 'n' roll, near the end of the 20th century.'"
I couldn't have said it better myself, narrator. Too bad the club moved to downtown Baltimore a few years later, and was eventually turned into Bourbon Street. All good things ...
Anybody recognize any of the folks in the video? Where are they now?







Comments
Wow to the wow times wow. It's just like Studio 54 but with meth teeth
Posted by: VoodooPork ■|:o) | April 26, 2010 12:04 PM
Hilarious. The owner looks like he's straight from central casting. Are you sure it's the 90s? I would have guessed 1986, but maybe the 80s stayed late in Baltimore. Hell, there's one guy who looks straight out of the Village People. Love the generic 80s rock
Can't
stop
laughing
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | April 26, 2010 12:16 PM
As a wee one I lied my way into Hammerjacks to see the Ramones for one of their last shows. That place was epic. Also check out the ol' Jack's in Serial Mom shortly before it was eminently domained - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHGsjFlZZhg
Posted by: Evan | April 26, 2010 12:20 PM
Ha! Child's Play! 'good old boys playin good old rock n roll.'
Was that a promo or a news segment? looked more like a local-interest piece to me. maybe from 'Evening Magazine' or one of those shows.
Posted by: The Baltimore Chop | April 26, 2010 12:36 PM
Yep! sure enough, looks like the original poster is evemag13.
Also featuring Bob Turk and the Egg Lady. Awesome!
Posted by: The Baltimore Chop | April 26, 2010 12:38 PM
This is GLORIOUS!
Posted by: BC | April 26, 2010 12:49 PM
I frequented the place a lot in the late 80's and early 90's. As cheezy as it was, Hammers was the best bar in the city. You had bikers, preppies, glam rock wannabes, throw in a little punks and there it was. And you almost always assured of girls dancing on bars, bouncers kicking the crap out of someone, plenty of drugs and AC/DC's "Have a Drink On Me" played at least once a night.
The place had about 7 or more bars and they called them courtyards. So when the DJ would announce "Security to courtyard 2" it meant there was fight or disturbance at a certain bar. Good concerts there as well.
Posted by: Sparky | April 26, 2010 12:55 PM
This is probably a dumb question but didn't Hammerjacks used to be in the building that is now Nobles? I think I've heard that before but it doesn't appear to be true from what the bar in the video looks like.
Posted by: Jenn | April 26, 2010 1:12 PM
Oh I am firing up the Camero as we speak and heading over!! A little 98 Rock blaring from the Kenwood. C-YA!
Posted by: Sturmy | April 26, 2010 1:18 PM
Nice comment, Sparky. I can almost smell the Drakar. Fist pump!
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | April 26, 2010 1:22 PM
@Jenn -- Hammerjack's started on South Charles Street (I think it was the Nobles space but I'm not sure). Then it moved near where M&T Bank Stadium is now. When they built the stadium, they paid the owner a bunch of money and knocked it down. Then Hammerjack's reopened on Guilford Ave. but it was never the same.
Posted by: Sam Sessa | April 26, 2010 1:24 PM
Drakar yes, fist pump no.
Posted by: Sparky | April 26, 2010 1:28 PM
Loved Hammerjacks Thursday College Nights in early 90s. Saw a few bands there too including Living Colour. Good times, don't think anything could ever duplicate it. This piece does seem to be in the 90s though at they refer to approaching the millennium.
Posted by: Brien | April 26, 2010 1:39 PM
It may have been 1995 for the rest of the world, but in Baltimore, it was 1985.
Posted by: Sam Sessa | April 26, 2010 1:41 PM
If you drive around the area where the club used to be (in its second incarnation anyway), you'll still see a bunch of folks dressed the same way with the same hairstyles. Ah, the timewarp that is Pigtown.
Posted by: BC | April 26, 2010 2:09 PM
very "heavy metal parking lot". judas priest number one!
Posted by: unbelievaboh | April 26, 2010 2:38 PM
wow, this is great! the video looks like a combo between a PSA, Instructional Drivers Ed video and the beginning segment from Shatner's Rescue 911 that turns terribly bad.
Posted by: Brian Morrison | April 26, 2010 3:35 PM
epic.
i love how the bartender is getting ready behind the bar, and just strips down right in front of the camera...no biggie.
craig is also of great interest. notice the sticker above his mirror that says "craig", as if to either serve as a reminder to what his name is, or as a motivational catalyst: "I AM CRAIG...and i will RUUUULE the NIGHT!!"
i also love the poster he has behind him:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088272/
of course craig loves him some Clint Eastwood playing "a cop on the edge"....since you know..he lives his life ON THE EDGE! EXTREME!
nice find sam. i would go to this place right now.
Posted by: ryan97ou | April 26, 2010 3:37 PM
Hey Chop - I heard Child's Play is doing a reunion show at the 9:30 Club. Wanna go? :)
Posted by: Dave the wave | April 26, 2010 3:45 PM
@Jenn -- Hammerjack's started on South Charles Street (I think it was the Nobles space but I'm not sure). Then it moved near where M&T Bank Stadium is now. When they built the stadium, they paid the owner a bunch of money and knocked it down. Then Hammerjack's reopened on Guilford Ave. but it was never the same.
The original Hammerjacks was located at the Nobles space, but it was only the front half of the current setup. Also, it was 3 levels back then, not 2 like it is today.
Posted by: Abject Disaster | April 26, 2010 3:49 PM
Ahhhh.....the sweet smell of Drakar Noir. I just had a flashback to Glen Burnie High's homecoming 1989.
Posted by: Sturmy | April 26, 2010 3:57 PM
@Chop & Dave -
I'd be all about a Child's Play reunion show...just have to lie to the wife and tell her I'm taking her to see some weepy emo band.
"I'm not/part of/the RAT RACE"
Posted by: BC | April 26, 2010 4:10 PM
Great post!!!
"Out all night
Time to get started
Saving all week for her bedroom party
Dollar for her drink
Dollar for the honey
Burnin' a hole
Gonna spend my girl money
Girl money."
Posted by: NotableM | April 26, 2010 5:05 PM
@Evan I have been frantically trying to find some actor from Serial Mom- I've been recieving SAG checks for him for a few years- sometimes like $500 a month to my P.O. Box- he needs to contact SAG- they owe him a few thousand.
Posted by: Tif | April 26, 2010 6:05 PM
What do these people do during the day? Good question. Craig is a construction worker. Heather works in a medical labratory. Lizzie is a bartender.
What they all have day jobs? You mean they don't rock n roll all nite and party every day?
Posted by: Robert of Cross Keys | April 26, 2010 7:38 PM
And Johnny goes to work on the docks...
Posted by: Madisonn Smarrtt Ass | April 27, 2010 12:09 PM
Wow. Child's Play, Kix, Kiss and Bon Jovi references all in the same thread. I nearly soiled my acid washed jeans
Posted by: BC | April 27, 2010 12:28 PM
Great video, I was one of thousands, probably tens of thousands who loved Hammerjacks, you didn't just hear music there, you felt it as soon as you walked in the door. Awesome place to totally cut loose.....
Posted by: LouieNCanton | April 27, 2010 8:32 PM
Sam, a little bit of gruntwork would have dated the video. Hammerjacks opened in 1977. In the video, the owner says that the club has been open for 12 years. a little bit of quick math and boom...1989. I'm basing the date the club opened on a 2000 Baltimore Sun article. http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2000-11-10/features/0011100380_1_hammerjacks-new-club-venue .
Posted by: Stefan | April 28, 2010 3:01 PM