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April 14, 2010

My new project: "Sheilly Dan," a reality TV show

get  ready, world. "sheilly dan" is coming!Attention world: There is a new reality TV show in the works, and it's going to blow your mind.

We're going to get former mayor Sheila Dixon and experimental music genius Dan Deacon to live together for a month -- inside the Bromo Seltzer Tower -- and film the whole thing.

We're going to call it "Sheilly Dan."

Lookout, Baltimore -- this show is going to drop the awesome bomb. You can't see it, but right now, I'm rubbing my hands together in a decidedly devious way.

Don't hate. Don't doubt. I already spoke with Deacon, who was reluctant at first, but quickly warmed to the idea.

"I don't know, man," he said. "Maybe. Sure." ...

I admire Deacon's commitment to the cause. He even had his own suggestion.

"You gotta get (Michael) Phelps involved," he said.

Yes we do, Dan. And we will. We will.

I haven't approached Dixon's camp with the idea yet, but I'm sure she'll be game.

"Sheilly Dan" is gonna be big. Huge, even. It might even change the world. 

Now all I've got to do is get corporate to green light the $1 million needed for production and salaries. That's the least of my worries.

Brace yourselves, Baltimore. "Sheilly Dan" lives.

(Photo illustration by J.M. Giordano. Dan Deacon photo by Josh Sisk; Sheila Dixon photo by Kim Hairston)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 2:02 PM | | Comments (7)
Categories: Local music, Random stuff


highlights from dixon's career as mayor would make a great deacon video. i recall one instance right around when she was indicted. she was opening a boxing gym and doing some horrific synchronized sort of line dance in the ring with oversized (for her) boxing gloves when the ring collapsed. priceless. she was absolutely steaming. having her in the mayor's xmas parade was pretty surreal as well.

This week on Sheilly Dan! Michael Phelps guest stars!

scene: Bromo Seltzer clock room. SHEILA, DAN, and MICHAEL are bathed in the blue glow of the clock room, taking bongs hits. Large clouds of smoke fill the room.

MICHAEL: "What if, like.... God isn't real?"

SHEILA: "Shut up Phelps! Everybody knows dogs are real!"

[audience laughs]
[loud banging on the door]

SHEILA: "DAN! Get up! The pizza's here!"

[audience laughs]
[DAN passes out]
[audience laughs]
[banging continues]


[audience is shocked]

SHEILA: AW SNAP! They're comin' to take my other fur coats!

[audience laughs]

MICHAEL: Dude let's just see what they want.


[michael opens door to clock tower]

FIRE CHIEF: We saw a great deal of smoke coming from the clock face! Is everyone safe up here!

SHEILA: You ain't gonna be safe unless you get us our pizza!!!

[SHEILA, MICHAEL, FIRE CHIEF burst into laughter]

[freeze screen, roll credits]

my mind is blowed.

Great script Evan, but just wondering, did Sheilly happen to have a Gift Card for that pizza? ;-)

Stop into Bad Decisions and get Phelps to sign on.

Experimental music genius? Genius???

Might as well say "political luminary" Sheila Dixon.

@Drifty plllllease tell me that was a reference to Dozerman's line to McNulty in season five of The Wire.

Is Steely Dan really named after an adult toy?

Genius is a liiiitle strong for Deacon, but that dude is one funny MFer....

If Dixon is anything like Blago, she will have no problem prostituting her fame in this fashion.


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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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