My new project: "Sheilly Dan," a reality TV show
Attention world: There is a new reality TV show in the works, and it's going to blow your mind.
We're going to get former mayor Sheila Dixon and experimental music genius Dan Deacon to live together for a month -- inside the Bromo Seltzer Tower -- and film the whole thing.
We're going to call it "Sheilly Dan."
Lookout, Baltimore -- this show is going to drop the awesome bomb. You can't see it, but right now, I'm rubbing my hands together in a decidedly devious way.
Don't hate. Don't doubt. I already spoke with Deacon, who was reluctant at first, but quickly warmed to the idea.
"I don't know, man," he said. "Maybe. Sure." ...
"You gotta get (Michael) Phelps involved," he said.
Yes we do, Dan. And we will. We will.
I haven't approached Dixon's camp with the idea yet, but I'm sure she'll be game.
"Sheilly Dan" is gonna be big. Huge, even. It might even change the world.
Now all I've got to do is get corporate to green light the $1 million needed for production and salaries. That's the least of my worries.
Brace yourselves, Baltimore. "Sheilly Dan" lives.
(Photo illustration by J.M. Giordano. Dan Deacon photo by Josh Sisk; Sheila Dixon photo by Kim Hairston)
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
highlights from dixon's career as mayor would make a great deacon video. i recall one instance right around when she was indicted. she was opening a boxing gym and doing some horrific synchronized sort of line dance in the ring with oversized (for her) boxing gloves when the ring collapsed. priceless. she was absolutely steaming. having her in the mayor's xmas parade was pretty surreal as well.
Posted by: unbelievaboh | April 14, 2010 2:34 PM
This week on Sheilly Dan! Michael Phelps guest stars!
scene: Bromo Seltzer clock room. SHEILA, DAN, and MICHAEL are bathed in the blue glow of the clock room, taking bongs hits. Large clouds of smoke fill the room.
MICHAEL: "What if, like.... God isn't real?"
SHEILA: "Shut up Phelps! Everybody knows dogs are real!"
[audience laughs]
[loud banging on the door]
SHEILA: "DAN! Get up! The pizza's here!"
[audience laughs]
[DAN passes out]
[audience laughs]
[banging continues]
VOICE: FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!
[audience is shocked]
SHEILA: AW SNAP! They're comin' to take my other fur coats!
[audience laughs]
MICHAEL: Dude let's just see what they want.
SHEILA: NO WAY! YOU DO IT!
[michael opens door to clock tower]
FIRE CHIEF: We saw a great deal of smoke coming from the clock face! Is everyone safe up here!
SHEILA: You ain't gonna be safe unless you get us our pizza!!!
[SHEILA, MICHAEL, FIRE CHIEF burst into laughter]
[freeze screen, roll credits]
Posted by: Evan | April 14, 2010 2:56 PM
my mind is blowed.
Posted by: Drifty Driftwood | April 14, 2010 2:59 PM
Great script Evan, but just wondering, did Sheilly happen to have a Gift Card for that pizza? ;-)
Posted by: SushiGirl aka Lisa | April 14, 2010 3:12 PM
Stop into Bad Decisions and get Phelps to sign on.
Posted by: BC | April 14, 2010 3:28 PM
Experimental music genius? Genius???
Might as well say "political luminary" Sheila Dixon.
Posted by: The Baltimore Chop | April 14, 2010 6:44 PM
@Drifty plllllease tell me that was a reference to Dozerman's line to McNulty in season five of The Wire.
Is Steely Dan really named after an adult toy?
Genius is a liiiitle strong for Deacon, but that dude is one funny MFer....
If Dixon is anything like Blago, she will have no problem prostituting her fame in this fashion.
Digg.
Posted by: Frankie Sez | April 15, 2010 9:44 AM