The Captain's Corner: Drinking tequila in the buff
Who's been waiting all week for the next edition of the Captain's Corner? I know I have.
If you're still new to the Captain's Corner (shame on you), here's what you need to know: It's a series of columns by Capt. Larry Gross, the former owner of Captain Larry's in South Baltimore. Read his past columns here.
OK, we're locked, loaded and ready for some action. Captain! Come on, buddy!
After the third wife, I had this girlfriend, Donna. We went to Mexico -- we took a week and went to Cancun or someplace.
I come back with three or four bottles of Mexican tequila -- two bottles of the expensive (bleep) and two bottles of the nasty (bleep) and two of these bandaleros like Pancho Villa would wear.
One night, I'm tending bar, and I've got about 20 people in the bar, and it's getting like I've got to do something to liven the place up ...
They said, 'What are you doing?'
I said, 'We're going to drink tequila. We're going to drink the good (bleep) and the bad (bleep).'
They said, 'Let's start with the bad (bleep).'
Those customers got four free bottles of tequila. (The neighborhood cop), Wally, comes in, and every (bleeping) customer sitting at that bar is naked. I'm behind the bar naked, and I'm all juiced up.
He said, 'What the (bleep) are you people doing?'
I said, 'We're drinking (bleeping) tequila, and we're naked, Wally.'
He said, 'Well, I want to, too!'
Wally takes his clothes off, puts his gun belt back on -- and his hat -- and said, 'I'm going to be the doorman.'
I said, 'Wally, put your (bleeping) clothes on. Again, they will only shut me down for three days, but you will be fired.'
It's a wonder I lasted that long without getting shut down. I didn't do anything criminal or bad. Just the wackiest (bleep), and everybody got into it.
(Photo of Capt. Larry circa 2001 from Sun archives)