Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays: Bar tunes
After a two-week vacation, Owl Meat is back in business, with this post about music in bars. Bring it on, OMG:
Good non-live music is a rare commodity in Baltimore bars.
There are a bazillion great songs available via CD, iPod, or even XM radio. But noooooo I have to hear Journey's "Open Arms" for the millionth time. Die Mr. Robato, die!
Down with lazy music programming. Enough "classic" rock and '70s and '80s hits. That was the music I hated in the '80s and now my ears are imprisoned by it.
I think too many bars program the music to not offend anyone, which really pleases no one, and offends me. It take that back. It pleases people who bore me ...
Enter the digital jukebox. That thing that has every song every recorded available. It has no character -- or rather it lends no character to the bar.
My phone seems to have more storage capacity than these devices. They seem to have less songs available for the standard rate than the old jukebox of 45s. Why is that? To squeeze money out of you.
Will this e-bandit play Son Volt's "Medicine Hat?" Yes, for a dollar. That's a crime. I could buy it online for 99 cents.
Then there is the problem of coughing up your crinkled dollar bills for that great song you love, only to get it booted by the bartender because someone else hates it. You give me a Guinness and a Jameson and I will play Yo La Tengo's "Cherry Chapstick" or the Velvet Underground's "Heroin" every time.
There are also songs that I play only on a jukebox obsessively, such as White Zombie's "More Human than Human" and Guns N' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle."
What to do, what to do?(Photo by Getty Images)