Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays: Outrageous occupations
When I'm out drinking, I rarely ask strangers what they do for a living, because I don't want them asking me the same thing. I've had too many people turn to the bartender or owner and blow my cover by saying something like, 'Hey, you should meet so and so.'
This week, Owl Meat writes about out-of-the-ordinary folks with out-of-the-ordinary jobs. One of the most interesting people I've ever met out was Kupkake, but I don't know what he did for a living. Here's Owl Meat:
Unless you have an interesting job, leave it at work. We don't want to hear about it at the bar. We have our own jobs that we are trying to forget about.
I used to be that guy. I went out after work to rehash the tedium of the day with co-workers (read, captive employees). I am reformed. You will no longer be able to listen to a scintillating dissertation on business process re-engineering, two stage probit analysis, or why Mark Obitz is a total jerk.
I paid my penance listening to a bazillion jerks burble on and on about real estate. And stocks. And how you were in the weeds tonight and they left you eight on a hundred ...
Look, we all had a rough day. We all think our jobs are important and interesting, but that is rarely so. In America we are told to never talk about politics or religion, but it's ordinary to hear people talk about how much money they make. In Europe it's reverse and much more fun.
Perfunctory segue: So my friend from Europe asked me what jobs were worth discussing. Good question, conveniently manufactured friend.
I have a particular way of getting to know people. I interact with them and never ask material questions, especially about mundane things like age, family, and job. Is there a more insipid question than, "What's your major?" Yes, "What do you do for a living?"
As the Pope of All Things Arbitrary I grant special dispensation to the worthy. That being said, people with interesting jobs who are interesting to talk to never talk about themselves. Conundrum time ... break it down ...
Golf course designer. What are your odds of ever meeting a guy like this again? Zero. Super-nerdy talk of drainage and recycled water.
Any Goth in full gear with a day job. I used to run into a lot of committed Goths over 30 who worked events at Orpheus. What's it like to be Kelly at an auto parts store waiting to be the fabulous Miss Kele De on Friday? Other people treated them poorly, but they are among the kindest, gentlest people I have ever met.
Panama watch seller. There is a restaurant/bar in Panama City, Panama that has Spanish food and interesting people. Okay, every place in Panama has interesting people, but this place has $3 octopus ceviche. One woman sold watches, but that seemed to be a side-line.
Lady of the night. Maria, a middle-aged woman told me about her travels in Singapore, Dubai and the Netherlands. Duh. It never occurred to me that someone my mother's age was a prostitute. And apparently quite successful in her day. I am such a Gomer.
Mariner. There was a guy in Little Italy that I ignored. When I finally made an effort, he turned out to be a gold mine. Joe is a retired merchant seaman with a wealth of knowledge that would put the Discovery Channel to shame.
Have a duplex in Lauraville owned by some spinster that you want to flip? Shut it. Train dolphins to attach bombs to ships? Bring it. My question this week is, who is the most interesting person you have ever met in a bar?
(Photo by Getty Images)