Where would you like to see the Frank Zappa statue?
More than a year ago, Baltimore accepted a bust of Baltimore native Frank Zappa. Valued at $50,000, the bust was a gift from a Lithuanian Zappa fan club.
Since then, officials have been debating where to put it.
For a while, it looked like the statue would be placed at Fleet Street and Broadway in Fells Point. But the Fells Point location wasn't suitable for the statue, officials said.
Tomorrow, officials from the Baltimore Public Art Commission will scout two new locations: The intersection of South Conkling Street and Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown and a Patterson Park annex.
"They want to have more room so people would be able to interact and congregate around the sculpture," said Tracy Baskerville, spokeswoman for the Baltimore Office of Promotion and the Arts.
"That's what the Fells Point location lacked. These two locations have that. More than one person can be next to it."
Personally, I think neither of these new locations are appealing.
Where would you like to see the bust? I have a suggestion ...
I don't know how Zappa would have felt about a statue in his hometown. But I'll bet if he had a say in the matter, he wouldn't want it to be someplace you'd expect a statue.
Do you know that patch of water in the Inner Harbor near ESPN Zone and Pratt Street? I think we should submerge the statue there, so that once a day at a set time, it would rise from the water while a speaker system played "Peaches En Regalia." It would be kind of like Old Faithful, but weirder.
(Pictured is a Zappa statue in Lithuania, similiar to the Baltimore statue. AP photo.)
I've been The Baltimore Sun's nightlife and local entertainment reporter for a couple years, and it's surprising how much the scene has grown in that time. Most of Baltimore's bars and clubs are unpretentious places with fairly cheap drinks and plenty of character. I like dancing and think this city needs more clubs, but nothing beats having a cold, locally brewed beer with friends in a comfortably full corner bar.
Comments
I like that idea, Sam. I was thinking of putting it on a pedestal in the harbor with a Sears poncho to protect it from the weather.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | October 20, 2009 2:15 PM
Near the Pagoda in Patterson Park - or some where around where they have concerts.
Posted by: Michael | October 20, 2009 2:56 PM
in place of man/woman
Posted by: tomvons | October 20, 2009 3:04 PM
Sam,
How about on that lot that was all over the Sun last week that was just auctioned off. They said they had no use for it, but now they do. I think it is off of Boston Street.
Posted by: jason z | October 20, 2009 3:07 PM
Or have his statue pop out of Edgar Allan Poe's grave.
Posted by: Michael | October 20, 2009 3:09 PM
St. Alphonsus Church, downtown on Saratoga Street, where, during a pancake breakfast, Frank (Sort of) "stole the marjareen."
Posted by: Biff Tubesock | October 20, 2009 3:21 PM
Don’t fool yerself, baltimore
It’s goin’ right up your poop chute
Posted by: zap's ghost | October 20, 2009 3:28 PM
I hear he loved him some fried chicken, how about out in front of this classy joint.
Posted by: Brett | October 20, 2009 3:56 PM
Or have his statue pop out of Edgar Allan Poe's grave.
brilliant!
Posted by: Mark Gross | October 20, 2009 3:57 PM
Druid Hill Park, near the bust of Wagner.
Posted by: Sieglinde | October 20, 2009 3:58 PM
Not sure, but one thing I do know --
That's the coolest freakin statue I've ever seen.
Posted by: Brad | October 20, 2009 4:09 PM
How about next to the statue for our beloved Wm. Donald Schaefer... being unveiled Nov. 2nd at Harborplace.. Maybe they can get to know each other and become friends...
Posted by: Sushi_Girl | October 20, 2009 4:09 PM
What about at Joe's Garage in Ashburton?
Posted by: Chw | October 20, 2009 4:12 PM
Nowhere near Baltimore. Just b/c someone was born here doesn't mean they should be celebrated as a local icon. What did Zappa do here?
I mean, why no David Hasselhoff statue?
Posted by: Alex | October 20, 2009 4:27 PM
Because Hoff is a monument to himself already.
Posted by: Chw | October 20, 2009 4:40 PM
Exactly! Why not a Hasselhoff statue?
Posted by: the hoff's ghost | October 20, 2009 4:53 PM
In the oral care section at CVS ("raising it up, waxing it down, in a little white box, that I can sell up town").
Posted by: H Man | October 20, 2009 5:35 PM
Of course, this wonderful piece of art should find a permanent home directly across from the Inner Harbor outside of the Visionary Art Museum. There, it would have a natural home...
Posted by: Moon Unit | October 20, 2009 6:10 PM
I like the Joe's Garage and CVS suggestions. Can the statue be equipped with a motion-activated voice box that broadcasts Zappaisms? I suggest having "I am gross and perverted/I'm obsessed and deranged" in heavy rotation.
Posted by: Michael | October 20, 2009 8:31 PM
This is absurd. Why they couldn't have put it in the square in Fells Point is beyond me. It's not like pretzel kiosks are historically significant to Fells Point, and it's there.
Posted by: jupiter | October 20, 2009 10:02 PM
On the fire escape at the Cafe Hon.
Posted by: Mark Adams | October 20, 2009 10:33 PM
What if they put it out at Fort Carrol, it could be Baltimore's Statue Liberty ,or we could raise money and have it follow
Tipper Gore around where ever she goes; He really liked her.
Posted by: Fitz | October 21, 2009 7:49 AM
Put the statue outside of Shirley's Honey Hole!
Posted by: Greg | October 21, 2009 8:26 AM
I agree with the Fort Carrol suggestion. That place is too cool / creepy not to have anything on it.
http://www.bytenet.net/rmscaronia/Main%20Fort%20Carroll%20Page%20old.htm
Wasn't there talk, years ago, of Baltimore getting a gigantic Christopher Columbus statue?
Posted by: NR | October 21, 2009 9:36 AM
It's been suggested it would help the loss of the pink flamingo here in Hampden...
http://sugarfreak.typepad.com/mobtownshank/2009/10/frank-zappa-bust-to-replace-giant-flamingo.html
Posted by: baltimoregal | October 21, 2009 10:03 AM
Seriously, that sculpture is so un-Frank. It should have his finger up his nose, or the pedestal should be a toilet. But since it is so tasteful, it does NOT belong in Highlandtown.
Posted by: fellspointer | October 21, 2009 10:11 AM
Here's an idea. Too bad they're kidding:
http://baltimoreguide.com/http:/baltimoreguide.com/a-suggestion-for-the-frank-zappa-memorial/
Posted by: fellspointer | October 21, 2009 10:16 AM
I agree it is un-Zappa to even have a tasteful realistic statue.
Here's something Frank might like. Put it on a tiny island in the middle of Pratt Street somewhere between Charles and President. Sure, some Lithuanian tourists die, but hey, that's life.
Frank is dead, he needs to leave Joe's Garage. Build it into the seat of a city bus. You want to visit Frank, then you takes your chances on the Number 8 bus.
Wherever you put it, electrify it, not enough to kill, just annoy. Frank would like that.
Posted by: VoodooPork ■|:o) | October 21, 2009 10:42 AM
How about that patch of grass near MICA where the 2nd Artscape stage is set up... Artistic and musical appreciation rolled into one.
Posted by: C Wriz | October 21, 2009 10:42 AM
Why doesn't Baltimore donate it to some place where Zappa actually laid some roots? He was born here, by happenstance, but how influential was Baltimore to Zappa's music and style? How influenced by Zappa is Baltimore?
If it must be here, I vote for the water in front of the Hard Rock. Just under the surface at high tide. As the tide goes out, I want to see him rise again.
Posted by: whocares | October 21, 2009 10:45 AM
It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
– Frank Zappa
No nostalgia for Frank. Put it in the shark tank at the Aquarium if such a thing exists or jellyfish. Hell, move it around for fun, but keep it away from those Lithuanian tourists' hands. Come on, it needs to be somewhere absurd.
I don't know his music that well, are there any fish that he particularly loved, hated or feared?
Posted by: Owl Meat Garage | October 21, 2009 10:49 AM
by the Lurman Theater in Catonsville
Posted by: Steve T. | October 21, 2009 12:15 PM
park him permanently in the white zone-
which, as HE taught us ,"is for loading and unloading ONLY". Just don't let any huskies near it, and have a party every Halloween- in memory of the best annual concert ever in NYC.
Posted by: rob/SI | October 21, 2009 9:49 PM
The statue belongs in Mt. Vernon facing the Peabody, where they refused Zappa's offer to teach (for free) because of the PMRC controversy he generated.
Zappa liked irony.
Posted by: Paul_D | October 22, 2009 5:00 PM
Sam, loved your suggestion as well as many others. But if ya's can't make up your minds where to put it, send it up here to Philly, we'd love to have it-
Posted by: Richard Puhl | October 22, 2009 11:11 PM
In the CYO dance hall. When those lovely little mustachio'd catholic girls go there to learn to blow all the catholic boys, what better beacon of inspiration!
Didja Get Any Onya!
Posted by: Zolar Czakl | October 25, 2009 6:38 AM
Sam,
How did the previous post pass standards and practices, not exactly gentile.
Posted by: GDA | October 26, 2009 3:44 PM