Let's make a list of semi-nutritional drinks
If you get most of your worldly knowledge from watching movies, you'll be surprised to learn that most alcoholics are nothing like the jolly, bumbling fatties with bulbous noses you see on the silver screen.
Yes, you might see some puffy red schnozes in real life, but a large number of hardcore alcoholics are skinny skinny thin thin. Why? Well, it's because they don't eat. They'd rather drink, you see.
As a result, many alcoholics have frail, withering bodies slowly rotting from the inside out.*
Baltimore Unsigned producer Nick Jackson and I have come up with a few semi-healthy options along these lines. Here they are, in no particular order ...
Feel free to add to our delightful little list:
1) Bloody Marys
Ah, tomato juice. They say V-8 is good for you, right? And momma always told us to eat veggies. Well, from the tomato juice base to the celery stalk garnish, Bloody Marys are undeniably a delicious and nutritious way to start (or end) your day.
2) White Russians
Got milk? White Russians do. And milk has calcium, which helps fortify important things in your body, like your bones. Oh, hey pal, you've got a bit of a milk mustache going on there. A little to your left. Keep going. OK, great, you got it!
3) Gin and tonics with extra lime
Tonic water has quinine in it, and quinine, according to Wikipedia, is used to treat lupus, nocturnal leg cramps and arthritis. Whoa! Also, the citrus from the lime juice helps prevent scurvy. Arr.
There you have it -- our mini-list. Now, what have you got for us? Don't forget to include your reasons why, by the way.
(Los Angeles Times photo)