Big Kidz Sports Bar
You've already heard about Fumbles: The Sports Bar for Losers. Now, witness my latest wickedly awesome bar concept: Big Kidz Sports Bar.
It's like Dave and Busters. But not lame. Or, maybe, awesomely lame -- like, lame dipped in chocolate.
Basically this bar would take everything we enjoyed as kids (and possibly early teens*) and bring them into a bar setting.
I'm talking about a giant indoor dodgeball court. A swing set. Those springy things (pictured). Monkey bars. A big slide (wax paper costs $.50 a sheet). An Activity Zone. Possibly mini-golf. Possibly.
There would be a sandbox, complete with miniature John Deere tractors and an adult-sized, semi-mechanized digger (like this).
And then of course, standard games like corn hole, beer pong, shuffleboard and the like.
I realize Big Kidz Sports Bar would probably never work economically, because it would take up so much space. But there are tons of big enough buildings in this city currently sitting vacant.
Yes, there would be a liability involved with drinking and playing contact sports. But not much more of a liability than what already happens at neighborhood intramural sports gatherings that involve a children's game like kickball and kegs of beer. (I'm not naming names here.)
What, you may ask, am I smoking? Well, what happens when 20-somethings drink too much? They revert to a simpler version of their sober selves. They don't act their age -- they act like big kids. So why not give them a place where it's OK to be a big kid?
That place, gang, is Big Kidz Spots Bar.
*OK fine, I admit it, I'm 25 and I still enjoy swinging on a swing set. Gotta problem with that?
(Baltimore Sun archive photo)