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July 9, 2009

Big Kidz Sports Bar

springy thingsYou've already heard about Fumbles: The Sports Bar for Losers. Now, witness my latest wickedly awesome bar concept: Big Kidz Sports Bar.

It's like Dave and Busters. But not lame. Or, maybe, awesomely lame -- like, lame dipped in chocolate.

Basically this bar would take everything we enjoyed as kids (and possibly early teens*) and bring them into a bar setting.

I'm talking about a giant indoor dodgeball court. A swing set. Those springy things (pictured). Monkey bars. A big slide (wax paper costs $.50 a sheet). An Activity Zone. Possibly mini-golf. Possibly.

There would be a sandbox, complete with miniature John Deere tractors and an adult-sized, semi-mechanized digger (like this).

And then of course, standard games like corn hole, beer pong, shuffleboard and the like.

I realize Big Kidz Sports Bar would probably never work economically, because it would take up so much space. But there are tons of big enough buildings in this city currently sitting vacant.

Yes, there would be a liability involved with drinking and playing contact sports. But not much more of a liability than what already happens at neighborhood intramural sports gatherings that involve a children's game like kickball and kegs of beer. (I'm not naming names here.)

What, you may ask, am I smoking? Well, what happens when 20-somethings drink too much? They revert to a simpler version of their sober selves. They don't act their age -- they act like big kids. So why not give them a place where it's OK to be a big kid?

That place, gang, is Big Kidz Spots Bar.


*OK fine, I admit it, I'm 25 and I still enjoy swinging on a swing set. Gotta problem with that?

(Baltimore Sun archive photo)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 11:27 AM | | Comments (15)
Categories: Bars & Clubs, Random stuff


Bid Kidz Sports Bar

Nothing says journalist longevity like quality editing.

Stupid spell-cheque all ways fixing my words, butt doing it in correctly.


Less space constraints and liability than dodge ball, since it's, y'know, tethered. Also dodge ball still brings up bad memories for those of us who were the first kids in our class to get glasses!

it's fixed.

This is very, very similar to a bar I saw down in southern MD while I was in college - it was a themed bar called "School Daze" which was made to resemble an old timey schoolhouse.

The beer tub and shot girls all dressed up like various shades of naughty school teachers with rules and such, and "disciplined" patrons by making them take shots if they weren't having enough fun. They had other weird and dumb school-like activities too.

I wonder how long the place was open?

(raises hand)

Ooo! Ooo! I know how long it was open!

It was open from 7:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Mondays-Fridays from September to June!

Am I right? Am I right?

You all really, really, really need to go to the City Museum in St. Louis.

I climbed into a fiberglass whale, went down a seven-story slide, and lost my (soon to be returned) cell phone crawling through a maze.

And the monstrous ("jungle gym" doesn't do it justice) is topped by the shells of two planes.

Jennie Breeden's comic, The Devil's Panties, says it better than I can.

Baltimore could totally support a similar but smaller space, bar-themed or otherwise.

I think Big Kidz should also have a gigantic moon bounce complete with a little island in the middle that serves only tequila shots, room temperature tequila shots. Now that would be some XXtremeXX action!

I love it, I've suggested this same idea to friends before.

There should also be birthday cake, but soaked in rum.

can there be drinks made with kool aid

banana splits and bologna sandwiches on the menu as well as grilled cheese and pbj's and hot dogs.

can there also be a timeout spot where you go for being a bad customer

old school chalkboard and instead of tables you eat at the chairs with attached tables on them that are foldable. I can go on and on....

I think you're on to something Sessa!

Sessa, I think I love you.

I'm very intrigued by your ideas, and it would be funny to see grow ups on a adult sized playground set.

Great Post, and Great idea

Corn Hole, Sam? My great uncle and I used to play Corn Hole when I was little. I guess we stopped that game when I was about 13. I'm so cold.... It's dark mommy can you hold me? Mommy? Are you there Mommy?

it's 11:00pm Sam, do you know where you children are?

Yes they are at Big Kidz!!!

I'd go, but only if they'll cut the crusts off my PBJ.

I hope it comes with padding. Big kids need that as well

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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