Mount Vernon is getting a sports bar
BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!
What did I tell you? What did I tell you??!?!?
I said Mount Vernon needs a sports bar. And so many of you laughed at me. Even my editor, Tim Swift, laughed at me.
Well, laugh no more. It's happening. A fancy Mount Vernon restaurant with a fancy name like Neo Viccino is closing and a sports bar is taking its place.
BOOYAH!
I told ryan97ou about this, since he suggested the topic in the first place, and his face melted.
He immediately started dreaming up ways to combine Mount Vernon's hipster attitude with a sports bar's meathead magnetism.
"I will wear skin tight black jeans, with a football jersey, and ride my single speed bike there with a beer helmet on," Ryan said.
That's genuis ...
But what about the important questions, like, is it possible to snidely chug a Miller Lite? Ryan thinks so:
"Yes, chug it and yell, "This beer was soooo 10 seconds ago."
Ryan and I made a pact to be the first two people through the doors the first day, bare-chested with face paint on.
What would they call it, I wonder? Fumbles? If they take the idea that jmgiordano and i developed and don't pay us for it, I'm suing them for everything they're worth. I'll take them to the cleaners -- and various other cliches!
So yeah, eat it, haters.*
*Now that I've said all this, you watch this place go under in six months.
(Getty Images)
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
don't tell johnnycat about this place. he may start shooting out the tv screens yelling no more sports
Posted by: karlosi | June 27, 2009 9:30 AM
*chuckle*
*walking up to podium*
hello my name is ryan and yes, i like the the smiths AND nfl football. it's going to be ok.
Posted by: ryan97ou | June 27, 2009 12:01 PM
Mount Vernon? Sports bar?
Biker shorts, biker caps, and a rack for parking messenger bikes.
I'm jes' sayin'.
Posted by: Alexander D. Mitchell IV | June 28, 2009 9:42 AM
What nite they got 25 cent wings? I can't wait ta pahty up theah.
Posted by: Alpha Beta | June 28, 2009 5:14 PM
Ryan, I love how, when we first say Mt Vernon needs a sports bar, everybody comes out of the woodwork to bash us. Then, when it happens, nobody says anything.
Posted by: Sam Sessa | June 29, 2009 8:48 AM
I will wear my upside-down visor, flip flops and Eddie Murray jersey with venetian aviators and an ironic mustache.
I'll be right there at the front door on opening day and pay way too much for PBR.
Posted by: Evan | June 29, 2009 11:20 AM
A SPORTS BAR IN MOUNT VERNON? FOR WHO? For all the athletics fans that live there? The demographic of Mount Vernon will not and can not support a sports bar.
Boy, I'd like to shake the hand of the visionary that thought this was a good idea. Talk about an original thought. Look, I certainly don't wish anyone that is trying to make a business work in this town to have a failure, but when you do something this incredibly dull all of my mercy goes out the window. For Chrissake, do something new. So, I'll give it hmmmm say 18 months and then it will be either another shuttered establishment, or they will come back to reality and pull down the signed jerseys, whistles, caps, helmets and God knows what else that are entombed under Plexiglas from the walls. After that happens, I'll check Craigslist every week for great deals on used big screen televisions, sports "memorabilia" and like-new Fryolators.
Posted by: johnnycat | June 29, 2009 12:41 PM
sounds like someone reads a bit too much bourdain
haha.
calm down...breath....it's going to be ok
Posted by: ryan97ou | June 29, 2009 1:04 PM
OK come on.. Let's have some good names for the new Mount Vernon sports bar. OK, OK calm down, I'll go first. My vote would be to call it The Tight End. Or, how about Backcourt Violations? Groin Pull Pub has a nice ring to it. Come on now, it's just a joke. Is that a slight crack of a politically-incorrect smile I see? Think you can do better? Have at it!
Posted by: johnnycat | June 30, 2009 3:50 PM
"A SPORTS BAR IN MOUNT VERNON? FOR WHO?"
for sports fans, dumbass. i find it hard to believe that one section of the city has sworn off sports all together. that they sit in circles and use the power of their minds to jerk each other around telepathically, as opposed to witnessing "all those uncouth swine, ranting and raving about a leather ball being tossed to and fro."
Posted by: Allan | July 1, 2009 9:12 AM
do sport's fans reside here?
Posted by: mvsp | July 6, 2009 9:11 AM
the problem with the sports bar won't be the Mt Vernon demographic... it will be that it's run by the same people who ran the terrible restaurant that it's replacing, Neo Viccino.
Posted by: dave | July 6, 2009 3:50 PM
Dr. Peter Venkman: This bar is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Posted by: Corey | July 6, 2009 4:01 PM
Ah, but here's the catch – what kind of sports? This town really needs a good ice dancing theme bar. Crank up the Island Oasis machine because I am so gonna want a frozen appletini when I'm watching rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming. I assume they they have the TV's tuned to ESPN-G
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | July 10, 2009 2:10 PM
I heard it's going to be called Badminton's. All badminton all the time.
Can I get a HELL YEAH!
Posted by: RayRay | July 10, 2009 3:38 PM
Speaking of Badminton, I hear Susan Sarandon owns a Ping Pong themed bar in NYC. Or I may have made that up... maybe this should go under the Big Kidz thread. Dunno, brain is fried today!
Posted by: CantonKate | July 10, 2009 4:25 PM
You''re right CantonKate, I saw the same thing.
I hope the new bar has competive leap frog on the tube.
Posted by: VoodooPork ■|:o) | July 10, 2009 4:36 PM
www.turpsonline.com
Posted by: TSB&R | July 17, 2009 5:42 PM
Thank you very much for this very informative post! Keep it up!:)
Posted by: Badminton Rules | September 22, 2010 5:03 AM
Congratulations! HAHA!
Posted by: Badminton Skills | March 2, 2011 6:40 PM