I don't like Moon-days
Take it away, guest poster Owl Meat:
An article in The Guardian reports that the English have lost their minds regarding wine and are nuttier than Donovan riding a lovecoaster powered by unicorn tears:
The idea that the taste of wine changes with the lunar calendar is gaining credibility among the UK's major retailers, who believe the day, and even hour, on which wine is drunk alters its taste. Tesco and its rival Marks & Spencer, which sell about a third of all wine drunk in Britain, now invite critics to taste their ranges only at times when the biodynamic calendar suggests they will show at their best.
Many scientists have little time for biodynamic wine, pointing out that the movement's guru, Rudolf Steiner, claimed to have conceived the concept after consulting telepathically with spirits beyond the realm of the material world. Among his other works are claims that the human race is as old as the Earth and descended from creatures with jelly-like bodies, and a belief that men's passions seep into the Earth's interior, where they trigger earthquakes and volcanoes.
Well pour me a Pinot Noir, smack my butt and call me Krakatoa. I can understand that there is a certain lunatic fringe who will buy into anything, but the idea that major retailers are encouraging people to not drink wine ever is bonkers ...
Perhaps there are better or worse days to plant things. Who knows? The moon does have a serious effect upon the tides, human biology and possibly human behavior. Plus werewolves.
The matter of how wine already in the bottle can be influenced by the moon seems ridiculous. Does a waxing moon change the chemistry of a Spanish Rioja? How would that work?
Moon gravity changing flavor electron orbitals? Perhaps the moon changes the chemistry in my brain so that those leathery undertones on Monday taste like vinyl car seat on Thursday. If this was true, wouldn't food taste vary by some astrological calendar too?
Here's my astro-œnological forecast for the coming week: This is a good time for people to buy wine for Sagittarians. Their sparkling personalities and awesome guest blogging skills will reflect back upon you and make you more attractive to them the more glasses of wine you buy them ... ladies. And no merlot.