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May 9, 2009

Fumbles, the sports bar for losers

fumbling, bumbling benJmgiordano and I want to open a sports bar for losers.

We'd call it Fumbles.

Fumbles would celebrate silly mistakes that cost sports teams big. There would be a shrine honoring Joe Pisarcik and the Miracle at the Meadowlands.

And let's not forget the specialty drink list. How about the Timeout martini, in honor of Chris Webber's infamous flub?

Got any other suggestions for me? ...

This is actually an original idea. I Googled "sports bar for losers" and nothing came up. Imagine that -- an original idea in the year 2009?!?!

Then I Googled "Fumbles" sports bar, and found two -- one in Arizona and one in Iowa. I assume the one in Arizona is closed, because the number was disconnected. I called the one in Iowa. Here is a transcript of my conversation:

Female bartender: Hello, Fumbles.

Me: Hi, I was wondering, is Fumbles just your average sports bar?

Bartender: Uhh ...

Me: I mean, like, does it celebrate the act of fumbling, or maybe does it celebrate losing?

Bartender: No, um, it's just a sports bar.

Me: OK, thanks!

That does it. Fumbles is going to happen. This is how jmgiordano and I are going to make a living when the journalism industry implodes. I already have a slogan picked out:

"Come to Fumbles -- where losers win!"

I smell a franchise ... all I need now is some moolah ... Jason Zink, where are you? Mark Twain, can you hear me knockin'?!?!

(AP photo)

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Posted by Sam Sessa at 9:30 AM | | Comments (11)
Categories: Bars & Clubs


Best name I ever saw for a place was Failure. It was in cherry hill n.j. it sold skateboards... imagine that

The Leg Spreader - (choose your ingredients) In honor of Boston Red Sawx (in)famous Bill Buckner.

We have plenty of places where you can go to watch an Orioles game around here. Zink!

JTK- ouch...!!! but funny!

The Ryan Leaf Lettuce Salad, served with a draft of your choice.

The Jeffery Maier.

Two Shots of Tequila and a punch square in the face.

The Bob Irsay

A bottle of Scotch and a case of beer, you have to drink it within a 1 hour window...and you win a one way ticket to indy on a mayfower truck...leaving immediatley.

Wrong Idea?

More along the lines of?:

Darren Stone(d) - A shot of marijuana infused vodka...or something like that...

The Tony Romopolitan for the botched field goal in the playoffs. Served in a slippery glass.

C'mon now. We don't need any Redskins bars up here

Darwin's Waiting Room? Mass Diabetes Study?

I use that for a lot of B'more bars.

Darwin's Waiting Room was the name of one of my favorite bands back in college.,

Ive been to Fumbles in Iowa....$2 long necks.....$4 wells.....But seriously....they like their Rum and Cokes

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.

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