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May 22, 2009

Comfort cocktails

comfort cocktails

I don't know if I'd be a big fan of some of these drinks guest poster Owl Meat has cooked up for us, but they sound pretty funny:

Mom.

Mom.

Moooooooooooooooooooooooom ... get me a Sunny D ... and Grey Goose? On the rocks.
 
Attention swizzlers, guzzlers and dribblers, here's a new trend – comfort cocktails.  Like comfort food, they use flavors and ingredients from childhood to recreate mom's tasty refreshments ... plus a little kick from Aunt Ethyl.
 
Amicci's bar in Little Italy has a drink called a Grown-Up Grape Soda: Three Olives grape vodka, Grape Pucker, and Sprite. It is ridiculously popular ... with men.

People must see something greater than the sum of its parts. I witnessed a burly bearded man order one and rock a sly grin like he was being smothered by puppy kisses. Yikes ...

I wrote something for Dining@Large on the enduring jones for the mutant orange dust devil of Kraft Mac and Cheese. Maybe this could all be explained by neurotransmitters and a blackboard but not today.

Enough neurophysiology .. let's make drinks:  

  • Daddy's Girl: Bourbon, milk, a hint of Aqua Velva and the inability to have a functional relationship with a grown man ever.
  • Choking Hazard: Skittles, tequila, and Hi-C shooter
  • Skew Driver: Sunny D, vodka and a scolding, "Don't leave your skateboard in the kitchen!"
  • Wrong Island Iced Tea: the usual ingredients with a straw that says, "I never loved you!"  
  • Ovaltine-Age Wasteland: Milk, Ovaltine, Kahlua and sitting around making fun of everybody.
  • Babysitter: Hawaiian Punch and rum in a glass rimmed with strawberry lip gloss

I'm starting to think that my warm fuzzy memories are a little dysfunctional. Oh well, time for a shot of Tang, mezcal and crushing disappointment – I call it the Adopted Astronaut. Cheers!

(Getty Images)


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Posted by Sam Sessa at 7:30 AM | | Comments (21)
Categories: Bars & Clubs, Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays
        

Comments

Where (or how) do you get your krazy graphics? I like.

OMG, you need your own blog, buddy.

Evil drinks that will appeal to actual children.

Now before MADD needs or feels the need to protest.
It sounds like one's inner parent needs to spank it's inner child's posterior* and retake control.

*really wanted to use ass but it will probably be censured, but censure is MADD's domain.

"Censure is a process by which a formal reprimand is issued to an individual by an authoritative body."

Source: Censure is a process by which a formal reprimand is issued to an individual by an authoritative body.

Oh come on! Spoiling Aqua Velva by mixing with Bourbon and milk?

I think you made these up

What? Nobody can come up with any ideas of their? Lazy bums. Or maybe the Sun has forgotten about us for two days?

Nothing beats Swiss Miss cocoa with the little marshmellows and rum for the hair of the dog.

Bailey's milk shake!

Not really a drink but take golden raisins and soak them in rum for a couple of days. Apply a generous portion to vanilla ice cream. Kaboom. Now that's comfort drinking.

No comments on this for two days? That's impossible to believe. Somebody is asleep at the wheel on Calvert St

Just so you know Sam, dedicated (read: attention-starved) OMG has been hard-pimping your blog almost every day on Elizabeth's blog (to general faux-mockery for shilling his posts), on Twitter, facebook and who knows what else.

I used to love pudding when I was a kid. Adults don't eat pudding, do they? Maybe they would if you made it with Kahlua. 30 proof chocolate Kahlua pudding. yum. Lemon merengue lemoncello pie. I think I'm on to something?

Pop Rocks Stoly martini up. I wonder if they still make them?

I drink my MacCallum from my grandson's sippy cup when I'm sailing so that none of precious liquid spills. Does that count?

There are many more examples of people doing this for real, instead of just for laughs.

The Standard Restaurant and Lounge in Albany makes the Buzz Aldrin with is Tang, peach vodka and Cointreau in a Tang rimmed glass.

And the DP Brasserie makes a pop-rocks cocktail which comes rimmed with the candy. Personally, I wouldn't touch that one with a 20 foot pole.

I would hate to think anyone would try to put Aqua Velva in a drink based on your column. I mean... I know it's a joke. But not everyone has a well defined sense of irony.

Oh man I love mac n cheez. I wonder if yu could make mac n cheez vodka with the orange powder. I'm gonna invent thagt tonight and be rich as the inventor. its cheezier

They have every other stupid vodka flavor, how about PB&J? Cause I can't imagine how to get peanut butter to be liquid.

If I wanted to remind myself of high school I would go to my dads house and steal a little bit of everything in his liquor cabinet and meet my friends by the lake and mix it with Coke and throw up,. Sounds terrible

This may sound sick but since you guys seem to have some kind of bacon vodka thing going on, what abiut butter flavored vodka. Come on, everyboody loves butter. How about that aquavute stuff that's supposed to taste like rye bread combined with butter vodka? I may be slightly insane. So be it.

'Okay come on. Aquavite, butter vodka and then bacon vodka would be the perfect vodka sandiwch!

Maybe.. work on it

I made a comment here like four days ago. Where it be? Is this a Ghost Blog? Wooooooo

OMG, you need your own blog, buddy.

Now that's what I call interaction! (And Mike seems to really exist, just in case you thought I wrote that myself) Thanks, but it's easier to be the wacky sidekick than the star of the show. Plus I don't think the Sun is in a money-spending mood right now. And I refuse to be paid in hugs or unicorn tears anymore!

I'm just the monkey in the kayak.

Maybe you wrote in invisible ink, ghost shadow? Try again using a computer and not a ghost computer.

Thanks so much Daniel B for those actual cocktails.

And no Please Do Not Drink Aqua Velva. Duh. It's just an imaginary thing.

That mac n cheez one is so disgusting that I am almost tempted to try it. But that will be a post for Sam's next vacation maybe.

Okay now I really am going to try Mac n cheese vodka

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About Erik Maza
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "simulated sex with a potted palm tree." Before The Sun, he was a reporter at the Miami New Times. He's also written for Miami magazine, the Orlando Sentinel, the Sarasota Herald Tribune and the Gainesville Sun. Got tips? Gripes? Pitches? He's reachable at erik.maza@baltsun.com. Click here to keep up with the dumb music he's listening to.

Midnight Sun covers Baltimore music, live entertainment, and nightlife news. On the blog, you'll find, among other things, concert announcements, breaking news, bars closings and openings, up-to-date coverage of crime in nightlife, new music, round-the-clock coverage of Virgin Mobile FreeFest, handy guides on bars staying open past 2 a.m. on New Year's Eve and those that carry Natty Boh on draft. Recurring features include seven-day nightlife guides, Concert News, guest reviews of bars and concerts, Wednesday Corkboard, and photo galleries, as well as reader-submitted photos. Thanks for reading.
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