Comfort cocktails
I don't know if I'd be a big fan of some of these drinks guest poster Owl Meat has cooked up for us, but they sound pretty funny:
Mom.
Mom.
Moooooooooooooooooooooooom ... get me a Sunny D ... and Grey Goose? On the rocks.
Attention swizzlers, guzzlers and dribblers, here's a new trend – comfort cocktails. Like comfort food, they use flavors and ingredients from childhood to recreate mom's tasty refreshments ... plus a little kick from Aunt Ethyl.
Amicci's bar in Little Italy has a drink called a Grown-Up Grape Soda: Three Olives grape vodka, Grape Pucker, and Sprite. It is ridiculously popular ... with men.
People must see something greater than the sum of its parts. I witnessed a burly bearded man order one and rock a sly grin like he was being smothered by puppy kisses. Yikes ...
I wrote something for Dining@Large on the enduring jones for the mutant orange dust devil of Kraft Mac and Cheese. Maybe this could all be explained by neurotransmitters and a blackboard but not today.
Enough neurophysiology .. let's make drinks:
- Daddy's Girl: Bourbon, milk, a hint of Aqua Velva and the inability to have a functional relationship with a grown man ever.
- Choking Hazard: Skittles, tequila, and Hi-C shooter
- Skew Driver: Sunny D, vodka and a scolding, "Don't leave your skateboard in the kitchen!"
- Wrong Island Iced Tea: the usual ingredients with a straw that says, "I never loved you!"
- Ovaltine-Age Wasteland: Milk, Ovaltine, Kahlua and sitting around making fun of everybody.
- Babysitter: Hawaiian Punch and rum in a glass rimmed with strawberry lip gloss
I'm starting to think that my warm fuzzy memories are a little dysfunctional. Oh well, time for a shot of Tang, mezcal and crushing disappointment – I call it the Adopted Astronaut. Cheers!
(Getty Images)
Categories: Bars & Clubs, Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays
Erik Maza is a features reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He writes for several sections of the Sun paper and contributes weekly columns on music and nightlife. He also writes and edits the Midnight Sun blog. He often covers entertainment, business, and the business of entertainment. Occasionally, he writes about Four Loko, The Block, the liquor board, and those who practice "
Comments
Where (or how) do you get your krazy graphics? I like.
Posted by: ElaineB | May 22, 2009 7:53 AM
OMG, you need your own blog, buddy.
Posted by: Mike | May 22, 2009 10:03 AM
Evil drinks that will appeal to actual children.
Now before MADD needs or feels the need to protest.
It sounds like one's inner parent needs to spank it's inner child's posterior* and retake control.
*really wanted to use ass but it will probably be censured, but censure is MADD's domain.
"Censure is a process by which a formal reprimand is issued to an individual by an authoritative body."
Source: Censure is a process by which a formal reprimand is issued to an individual by an authoritative body.
Posted by: GDA | May 22, 2009 11:25 AM
Oh come on! Spoiling Aqua Velva by mixing with Bourbon and milk?
Posted by: LEC | May 22, 2009 1:41 PM
I think you made these up
Posted by: KJ | May 22, 2009 10:24 PM
What? Nobody can come up with any ideas of their? Lazy bums. Or maybe the Sun has forgotten about us for two days?
Nothing beats Swiss Miss cocoa with the little marshmellows and rum for the hair of the dog.
Posted by: die zombie die | May 23, 2009 12:06 PM
Bailey's milk shake!
Posted by: jen | May 23, 2009 12:16 PM
Not really a drink but take golden raisins and soak them in rum for a couple of days. Apply a generous portion to vanilla ice cream. Kaboom. Now that's comfort drinking.
Posted by: Amanda C | May 23, 2009 12:30 PM
No comments on this for two days? That's impossible to believe. Somebody is asleep at the wheel on Calvert St
Just so you know Sam, dedicated (read: attention-starved) OMG has been hard-pimping your blog almost every day on Elizabeth's blog (to general faux-mockery for shilling his posts), on Twitter, facebook and who knows what else.
Posted by: Amanda.C | May 23, 2009 12:36 PM
I used to love pudding when I was a kid. Adults don't eat pudding, do they? Maybe they would if you made it with Kahlua. 30 proof chocolate Kahlua pudding. yum. Lemon merengue lemoncello pie. I think I'm on to something?
Posted by: Dr. Acula | May 23, 2009 2:26 PM
Pop Rocks Stoly martini up. I wonder if they still make them?
Posted by: Rev'Ed –|–– | May 23, 2009 4:48 PM
I drink my MacCallum from my grandson's sippy cup when I'm sailing so that none of precious liquid spills. Does that count?
Posted by: capn pete | May 23, 2009 7:43 PM
There are many more examples of people doing this for real, instead of just for laughs.
The Standard Restaurant and Lounge in Albany makes the Buzz Aldrin with is Tang, peach vodka and Cointreau in a Tang rimmed glass.
And the DP Brasserie makes a pop-rocks cocktail which comes rimmed with the candy. Personally, I wouldn't touch that one with a 20 foot pole.
I would hate to think anyone would try to put Aqua Velva in a drink based on your column. I mean... I know it's a joke. But not everyone has a well defined sense of irony.
Posted by: Daniel B. | May 23, 2009 10:38 PM
Oh man I love mac n cheez. I wonder if yu could make mac n cheez vodka with the orange powder. I'm gonna invent thagt tonight and be rich as the inventor. its cheezier
Posted by: bigdawg | May 24, 2009 3:05 PM
They have every other stupid vodka flavor, how about PB&J? Cause I can't imagine how to get peanut butter to be liquid.
Posted by: notorious T.O.M | May 24, 2009 10:32 PM
If I wanted to remind myself of high school I would go to my dads house and steal a little bit of everything in his liquor cabinet and meet my friends by the lake and mix it with Coke and throw up,. Sounds terrible
Posted by: danb | May 24, 2009 10:58 PM
This may sound sick but since you guys seem to have some kind of bacon vodka thing going on, what abiut butter flavored vodka. Come on, everyboody loves butter. How about that aquavute stuff that's supposed to taste like rye bread combined with butter vodka? I may be slightly insane. So be it.
'Okay come on. Aquavite, butter vodka and then bacon vodka would be the perfect vodka sandiwch!
Maybe.. work on it
Posted by: Rev;Ed | May 25, 2009 12:12 AM
I made a comment here like four days ago. Where it be? Is this a Ghost Blog? Wooooooo
Posted by: ghost shadow | May 25, 2009 11:09 AM
OMG, you need your own blog, buddy.
Now that's what I call interaction! (And Mike seems to really exist, just in case you thought I wrote that myself) Thanks, but it's easier to be the wacky sidekick than the star of the show. Plus I don't think the Sun is in a money-spending mood right now. And I refuse to be paid in hugs or unicorn tears anymore!
I'm just the monkey in the kayak.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 4:05 PM
Maybe you wrote in invisible ink, ghost shadow? Try again using a computer and not a ghost computer.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 4:20 PM
Thanks so much Daniel B for those actual cocktails.
And no Please Do Not Drink Aqua Velva. Duh. It's just an imaginary thing.
That mac n cheez one is so disgusting that I am almost tempted to try it. But that will be a post for Sam's next vacation maybe.
Okay now I really am going to try Mac n cheese vodka
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | May 26, 2009 11:30 PM